Forever and Ever, Amen
by Sister Magpie
Summary: Cora Shepard has the illustrious duty of saving the entire galaxy, even though battling space squids it isn't necessarily what she signed on for. Mostly canon, though it will deviate in certain aspects. Vanguard, Spacer, Ruthless, no strict determination on alignment, but leans towards the red in demeanor. Rated M for language, violence, and sexual content.
1. Prologue

Why?

Why do I have to choose?

Why am I the one standing here, making this decision?

There are a million other people in this galaxy more qualified than I am.

Diplomats. Ambassadors. Generals. Councillors.

Why is every soul relying on me?

 _God... It feels like years since I just sat down._

Why did you place all bets on me? Why have you left me now, when I need you the most?

 _Go out there and give them hell. You were born to do this._

I wasn't born into greatness. I wasn't born to have death follow me around, casting its darkness on everyone I ever loved.

 _Do we deserve death?_

God...

 _Would have liked to run tests on the seashells._

I'm sorry.

 _You know it's the right choice LT._

There was no 'right choice'.

 _Siha..._

I should have helped you. Why did I just stand and watch?

My decisions cause death. So why am I making this one?

 _It would be easy for a single ship to get lost up there, wouldn't it?_

Liara.

 _All those little blue children will be disappointed I didn't have a speech._

All those little blue children... aren't even possible now. Are they?

Why does my life get put on hold? What about me? What about my hopes and dreams? What about my peace?

What about my love?

I promised to serve and protect. I promised to be the right hand of the Council. I promised I'll always come back.

Alright.

Just one more decision.

Just one more lonely walk.

Just one more fight.

 _I love you._

I love you too.


	2. The Stars are Projectors

A/N: So... this is my first ever story! I'm not certain where it's going to go. So far it's kind of just evolved on its own, and in a direction that I didn't really anticipate.

Feedback is _really_ appreciated as this is my first rodeo when it comes to this. Of course, I do not own anything, I'm just borrowing from Bioware.

I hope you like it.

* * *

 **Crescent Nebula, Tasale System**

"EDI?"

"Yes Shepard?"

"What's our ETA?"

"ETA to Illium is 30 minutes, Commander."

"Thanks EDI."

Cora Shepard, hair still dripping wet from her shower, stood in a towel in the middle of her room. _Thirty minutes. I've only got thirty minutes to get my shit together and keep it together long enough to not put my foot in my mouth again._ She then realized with some level of concern that she probably didn't even have anything to wear. The last few months had been a whirlwind of armour and uncomfortable Cerberus uniforms. No time for shore leave when you're killing Collectors.

 _I can charge into the middle of a firefight surrounded by husks and Collectors, I can coordinate a strategically sound attack that results in zero friendly casualties, and I can lead a suicide mission to the galactic core without actually having it turn into a suicide mission... but I didn't even have the foresight to check if I had civvies. Fantastic._

As nice as her armour was, it wasn't quite acceptable for shore leave, let alone the conversation that needed to be had in order to save her relationship. _Maybe armour would be a better choice for this conversation. She did threaten to flay someone alive with her mind..._

"C'mon Shep. It can't be this hard to find something to wear." she muttered to herself once she realized that armour probably was a bad idea. "Objective: find underwear."

Flinging the towel onto the bed, she hurried to her drawers to grab a bra and underwear.

"Well, there's only one woman who would've stocked my closet." she said out loud as she held up a pair of black lace underwear, and a matching bra. "Oh well. Might as well try and feel a little bit confident, even though I'm probably going to fuck this all up. Alright. Objective complete. EDI, ETA?"

"ETA to Illium is 27 minutes, Commander."

 _Well, at least time is going slow enough for me to get my ass in gear._

Jeans were easy enough to find, and Shepard quickly pulled a pair on. Another look in the drawer exposed a black tank-top. "Good enough" she said as she slid it on. She made a mental note to ask Miranda how she knew what casual clothes to stock up on. _Damn woman knows way too much._ She towel dried her shoulder length black hair, noting that it was almost to the point of breaking Alliance regs. "Well, not like they care right now anyways." she said to herself. With her hair done, she moved to makeup, and after finishing up a routine that was well established, she took one final look at herself. Green eyes accented with black eyeliner and dark eye shadow, hair starting to form curls as it dried, and her pale, muscular arms bared, she realized she missed looking so... normal. _I forgot what Shore Leave Shepard looked like._

"EDI..."

"ETA to Illium is 22 minutes, Shepard." the AI interrupted.

"Aww... Am I annoying you EDI?"

"No. I was merely able to anticipate your intended question, given that it had already been asked twice, and that the ETA seems to be of utmost importance."

"Can't put anything past you, can I?" Shepard said with a grin as she slid on her black Converse shoes.

Five minutes later, she was on the bridge, nervously tapping the back of Joker's chair with her fingers. The lights of Illium shining bright in the viewport, Shepard was suddenly struck by how beautiful it looked from orbit. Having spent all but a few years of her life on ships meant always seeing everything from orbit, and it was rare for her to give a planet more than a cursory glance. For her, this particular planet had only been a source of pain and anger in the last month, so she had certainly not stopped to take in the view.

" _What's this all about, Liara? Can't you just talk to me?" Shepard asks, anger and hurt boiling just below the surface. The kiss was... it was soft and gentle and perfect, just like she remembered. But then it was over. And the wall went back up, hiding the gentle blue eyes behind a facade that Shepard didn't recognize._

" _Don't you think I want to, Shepard? This isn't because I don't trust you..."_

" _You want me to hack terminals for you, but you won't tell me why? It sounds exactly like you don't trust me." Shepard responded, the frustration seeping out before she could control it. First Kaidan, now Liara? She couldn't handle another Horizon. Especially not from someone she loved so much._

" _Cora..." Liara whispered, crestfallen. Shepard heard Garrus clear his throat behind her._

 _Fuck. Well done._

"Uh, hey, Commander? Can you stop? That's really damn annoying." Joker snapped, bringing Shepard back to reality. She hadn't realized she was still tapping the chair.

"So was Harbinger, but you didn't hear me complaining." she responded dryly.

"Actually, I have several audio recordings taken from your helmet during various fights with Harbinger. Your tone of voice during the recordings suggested you had a high level of annoyance while dealing with him." EDI chimed in politely.

Shepard was about to provide a reply, when Joker's communication pad lit up green.

"SSV Normandy, this is Nos Astra docking control. We have you on sensors, however your arrival is unscheduled. Please provide your identification code as well as the reason for the docking request."

Joker quickly responded with a well memorized series of numbers and letters.

"Nos Astra docking control, this is SSV Normandy. Identification code sent, reason for docking request is classified."

"This isn't the first time we've touched down here. You'd think they'd just see the ship and go 'Oh, Normandy. Here's a docking bay for you. Have a great day!'" Shepard remarked quietly, irritation obvious in her voice.

"SSV Normandy, I apologize, however we do need a more substantial reason for..."

"Nos Astra docking control, this is Commander Cora Shepard, council Spectre. Reason for docking request is, and will remain, classified as it is Spectre business. Is this going to be a problem?"

There was a brief pause while the docking officer was clearly running the identification codes and checking the validity of Shepard's statement. When it came, the reply was certainly more terse than it had been previously.

"SSV Normandy, you are cleared to dock. Please proceed to docking bay Alpha-2-1."

Joker rolled his eyes and closed the comm link. "Clearly someone didn't get their coffee today."

"Take us in, Joker." Shepard replied with a small smile.


	3. A World Alone

Dr. Liara T'Soni, sitting at her desk overlooking the Nos Astra trading floor, was watching. Having come to Illium one last time to finalize the sale of her apartment and close out her office, she was content to watch the city go by before heading back to Hagalaz. She watched the Illium sky turn from beautiful blues and purples, to a dark grey as storm clouds moved in. The lights of the city gradually brightened to make up for the darkness, and Illium was once again coming to life. Life in a different sense, at least. There was a lot of life during the day; trade brokers buying and selling at the cheapest and most expensive prices. Kiosk owners selling items ranging from pet fish to advanced medi-gel delivery systems to actual people. Comical looking, but with a fierce mind for finances, volus wandered about with the predominant asari, offering their expertise or simply building their own businesses. There was certainly life to be seen during the day. But Liara liked the life that grew at night the most.

The night life was vivid, secretive, and in most cases, offered a sight truly worth witnessing. Set against the backdrop of a darkening sky, varying races moved in shadowy forms. Lithe asari walked with a casual elegance that was the trademark of their race. The odd human wandered by, stocky and firm in their movements. Turians, all severe angles and determined faces, offered a stark contrast in a world dominated by graceful steps.

Two asari came into her field of vision. One wearing Commando leathers, the other in the form fitting attire commonplace on Illium. Drawing into a corner where they didn't anticipate being seen, the two asari lovers begin a dance of courtship. The body language of both suggesting that it was new and exciting. Neither one of them giving too much to the other, but both wanting more. Liara was transfixed, the memory of her own excitement sitting closely in the back of her mind. The feeling of another pressed against you for the first time. Their lips meeting yours, tentatively seeking and asking, finding the silent 'yes' as the other sinks further into you. Liara could feel her pulse quicken as tears welled up in her eyes. Her excitement had quickly become a thing of loss and pain. Weeks of heart breaking solitude caused by unseen enemies. Months of willing her own heart to stop, because every beat took her farther and farther away from the one she loved. Her heart was beating a lonely rhythm while her lovers' had stopped entirely.

Liara brushed away the tears that had starting rolling down her cheeks and looked away, grateful when another distraction wandered across the trading floor.

Walking through the trading kiosks was a lone quarian. Not as rare as one might think on Illium, the quarian's often came to Illium on their pilgrimage. Unfamiliar with a differing society, and completely oblivious to the laws of the land meant that they typically became indentured servants, mostly by accident. It therefor led to quite a few Indentured Servant Brokers taking advantage of a newly landed quarian. Their expertise with electronics made them especially useful in the information business, and it wasn't uncommon to see a quarian walking alongside an asari or volus. Liara watched this quarian with particular interest. She recognized her. Ta'el Shoshan was, at least until two days ago, the indentured servant of a well know asari trader. Liara had received an email a week ago from an anonymous source, requesting that she use her sources as an information broker to secure the freedom of Ta'el, for a surprisingly large fee given the simplicity of the request. While most service contracts were rock solid – and completely legal on Illium – there was always the odd one that didn't allow basic freedoms to the servants, or the odd contract holder that was just downright nasty. Liara hadn't requested the specifics of the contract, but she did agree to find a way to have Ta'el released from her contract. It was uncommon for Liara to agree to such simple requests. In Ta'el's case, it merely involved a minor leak of some of the more illicit behaviours the trader engaged in during her private time (with her servants, nonetheless), as well as some damning evidence recorded by some of her off-duty servants. It was easy enough to push the trader into releasing her servant, as she was quickly mired in civil rights politics about her treatment of Ta'el and others. But as simple as the task was, Liara felt good about this one. Perhaps because she had a close friend who happened to be quarian. Perhaps it was just for the sole reason of giving hope to one other person. Liara watch Ta'el walk across the trading floor, and stop close to the stairs of Eternity. It looked as though she was contemplating something; her head tilted to the side, her hands nervously clutching each other in front of her. She appeared to make up her mind, and headed towards the bar.

Liara sighed, and resigned herself to the fact that she would have to head to her apartment. The sales agent would be at the apartment in the morning, and Liara needed to ensure everything was packed up and in order. She looked out one last time, and saw the two asari walking towards Eternity, hand in hand. The dark grey sky showed off streaks of lightning in the distance, and the clouds promised to wash away the heat and dirt of the day.

She grabbed the OSD off of her desk that had the few remaining files from her computer, turned off the lights of the office and headed towards the stairs. Glancing to her left at the empty desk reminded her about Nyxeris. She had amazing skills as an assistant, but unfortunately for her, less amazing skills as a biotic.

Liara could feel the cool breeze and smell the scent of rain as she made her way down the stairs, and knew it wouldn't be long before the rain started. Rounding the corner, Liara stopped. Leaning against the wall, her arms folded in front of her, was the one person she didn't expect to see on this trip to Illium.

"Hey."

"Shepard." Liara said, startled at the fact that Shepard was standing in front of her, and more startled at herself that she hadn't thought to check where Normandy was. She didn't like being caught unaware.

"How did you know I was here?"

"I didn't. Well, not until I worked up the courage to go to Hagalaz. Only to find out you weren't there. Y'know, that drone of yours sure is keen to give your location. I would modify that if I were you." Shepard replied with an attempt at humour.

Liara didn't respond, and simply watched Shepard, arms at her side.

Realizing that there wasn't going to be a response, Shepard continued. "Anyways, Hackett asked me to do a mission for him, but I guess I... I don't know. I wanted to see you. Maybe talk to you. Shit, I'm not good at this. Hackett's mission is in Batarian space and I'm gonna be flying solo."

"I know, Shepard. I've read the communications coming from Dr. Kenson to Admiral Hackett."

"Of course you have..." she responded said with a sigh.

Liara and Shepard stood watching each other for a moment. Neither attempted to move or leave, neither said a word. Liara could see that Shepard was tense. Her muscles were strained as if struggling against fight or flight, and her intelligent eyes were searching for something in Liara's face. A cool breeze blew through, and Liara could see goosebumps form on Shepard's exposed skin. It wouldn't be long now until the rain started.

"I'm heading back to my apartment, did you want to come with me?" Liara asked in the most neutral tone she could manage. She saw Shepard's shoulders lower minutely, and the look that passed on her face was one that almost made Liara's heart break.


	4. The One That Got Away

"I'm heading back to my apartment, did you want to come with me?" Liara asked. Shepard could tell she was trying to keep her tone neutral. She wasn't implying anything. But the fact that she'd just been offered that small concession made Shepard feel marginally better about the situation. Not that Liara is cold-hearted, but Shepard hadn't exactly been the most kind person the last time they saw each other.

 _Shepard reaches out and hugs Liara. The fight with the yahg, the concerned operatives, and the fact that Feron is now safe has finally caught up with the woman in her arms._

" _It's alright." Shepard soothes. Suddenly, the asari is moving, and then her lips are on Shepard's. Too quickly, the contact is broken, and Liara looks away._

" _It's been two years. I don't... we're different people. You have your mission and..."_

" _And what, Liara?" The mission is over. The Collectors are gone and their base destroyed. What is she referring to?_

 _Realization dawns on Shepard, and she feels as though she has been hit with the full force of a dreadnought._

" _Wait... are you and Feron...?"_

" _Are Feron and I what, Shepard?" Liara asks, tears still apparent on her cheeks, confusion written all over her face._

" _Is that why you've spent two years trying to find him? Why you'd stop at nothing, even risking your life and mine, just to track him down?" Shepard said, anger flaring up. Her green eyes blazed and her fists balled up. She still wasn't completely over the fact that Liara hadn't seemed to care that she fell out a window while chasing Vasir._

" _Shepard, what are you talking about?"_

" _Are you and Feron together?" Shepard asked after a brief pause._

 _Liara's eyes widen, and she takes a step back. Shepard's anger clears slightly, and too late, she notices that she has made the powerful biotic in front of her very angry._

" _How could you even suggest such a thing?" Liara asked incredulously. "I spent two years mourning you, Shepard. Two years of agonizing loneliness, lost in the depths of a despair so great, I did not think I would ever surface from it. I will take the hit of you suggesting I do not trust you, but I will not abide the insinuation that you meant so little to me that I would quickly walk away from those memories." Liara's biotics had flared slightly, and the anger emanating from her body was unlike anything Shepard had ever witnessed._

" _Fuck, Liara, how could I not think that? All of this destruction, all of this chaos, just for a friend you barely know? Liara, this is the kind of shit I would pull in order to get to Garrus, or more importantly, you!"_

 _Liara blinked back more tears, and Shepard could see a shadow pass across her eyes when she made that confession, but the determination on Liara's face was apparent. She was not going to let Shepard back peddle from the accusation._

" _Shepard, your help has been invaluable, and I could not have done this without you. But right now, I need to figure out what I've got here, and if I am going to assume the role..."_

" _Liara, don't do this..." Shepard pleaded, all anger gone, replaced with a crushing sense of her heart breaking._

" _And if I am going to assume the role, I need to take stock of the resources available." Liara continued, her face settling into the facade Shepard had seen on Illium._

" _Liara. Please."_

" _I will contact you if I find anything of importance in regards to the Reapers or any further missions you might have." Liara concluded, the dismissal evident in her voice and body language. There were no more tears, just a fierce anger contained under a mask of hurt._

 _Shepard looked into Liara's eyes, and closing her own for a brief moment, realized that the only way she was getting out of here was to let her anger take over. Anything else and she would turn into a mess on the floor._

" _Fine. I'll leave. Just let me know if you need any more terminals hacked. Maybe I'll be in the area, and I'll be able to help you out." Shepard said, before turning around and walking from the ship._

Shepard shook her head to clear the memory as she realized Liara was patiently waiting for an answer.

"Yeah, that would be great, thanks." she finally managed.

Liara nodded, and started walking in the direction of the taxi stand. Shepard followed a few paces behind, and by the time they had walked through the hallways to the taxi stand, the rain had started. She loved the feel of rain on her skin, having never been exposed to it until her ICT training. It still had the same effect it had all those years ago. The smell of it as it hit the warm pavement, the sound it made when it hit roofs and windows, all made her feel grounded. Liara had walked ahead to call the taxi, but Shepard stopped just outside the entranceway of the hall. The rain was still light, but the clouds moving overhead suggested a much bigger downpour. Shepard stood watching Liara walk ahead of her as the rain started to fall. Her heart skipped a beat. She was sure she'd never seen anything as beautiful as that woman walking away from her. _Now I just need to make sure she walks back to me._ She tilted her head back, closed her eyes, and let the rain mix with the few tears that had started to run down her cheeks.

* * *

Liara walked ahead towards the taxi stand. She could hear Shepard's steady footsteps keeping pace, but trying not to be intrusive. The conversation after the battle on the Broker's ship had flared Liara's temper to a point she wasn't aware she was capable of. She was so happy to see Feron safe, and overwhelmed at the prospect of becoming the new Shadow Broker, that she hadn't even realized kissing Shepard might not have been a good idea. It wasn't until their lips touched that she realized she wasn't even sure if that's what Shepard still wanted. If she was what Shepard still wanted. The uncertainty mixed with doubt led to a fumbling attempt at giving Shepard an out, which then exploded completely. She had watched Shepard walk away, after she had provided a rather scathing comment about hacking terminals, and felt her heart go with her. She had felt alone and miserable, despite the enormous victory she achieved that day. Two years of secretly tracking down the one who has been torturing her friend ended in an explosion of white-hot lightning. Not only that, but then the vast resources of the Shadow Broker became available to her if she wanted them. It hadn't taken her long to decide that she would assume control of the network; she was an incredibly successful information broker, and the resources the Broker had could be used to save lives, not just destroy them.

It wasn't until she felt rain drops on her crest that Liara realized she was halfway to the taxi stand. She couldn't hear or feel Shepard behind her anymore, and turned to find her. Liara saw Shepard standing with her hands in the pockets of her jeans, and her head back and eyes closed, letting the rain drops land on her face. She rarely saw a human enjoy the feel of the rain. Usually they were too busy dodging it rather than just letting its touch cool and soothe. She watched Shepard for a moment, and smiled to herself. For all the hurt and all the heartbreak that she had lived through in the last two years, the woman she was looking at, the one who enjoyed the feeling of rain on her skin, was the only one who could fix her. And she was sure that she was the only one who could fix Cora Shepard.


	5. Back To You

A/N: Not a long chapter, but it was the best place to break things up between the last and the next one. That being said, the next one might be a bit longer than the others have been, simply because I don't want to detract from the flow. If you've made it this far, please drop me a line and let me know what you think. I'd love to hear from you!

I promise, the fluff and angst is almost over, just bear with me :)

* * *

To: C. Shepard  
From: M. Lawson  
Date: February 21st, 2168 20:02 SST

Subject: Status Report

Shepard,

Attached you will find the mission debrief for the Collector base. Since severing ties with Cerberus and the Illusive Man, I did not know if you wished to submit this or just keep it for your records. Submitting it will serve no purpose, considering it will simply give the Illusive Man more information on the mission. And as per our conversation, your stance on his knowledge of this matter is quite clear.

In regards to the repairs, they are going very well. After leaving you at your present location, we rendezvoused with the Migrant Fleet and have since begun maintenance on the drive core. I don't think I've seen Tali more comfortable, even though her people accused her of treason only a few weeks ago. Due to contamination concerns, all but Tali and Garrus are confined to the Normandy just to eliminate any risks.

Once the drive core is complete, we will be heading to Omega to finalize repairs. I would like it noted that I do not trust the self-proclaimed leader of Omega, and I certainly will be keeping a close eye on the crew she assigns to assist with repairs.

I will keep you posted.

M.

To: M. Lawson  
From: C. Shepard  
Date: February 21st, 2168 20:48 SST

Subject: Re: Status Report

Miranda,

If you don't mind, could you file that mission report in a folder for me? Preferably one titled "the Illusive Man can go to hell". I'm open to suggestions on the name, so feel free to change it to something more dramatic.

Thanks for the update. If Aria gives you any trouble... well, don't do anything I wouldn't do.

And just out of curiosity, why do I have black lace underwear in my drawers? I'm pretty sure I didn't own anything like that before I got spaced.

Someone is feeding my fish, right? I've worked real hard to make sure they don't die.

Shepard.

* * *

Shepard hit the send button on her omni-tool just as Liara came back down the stairs of her apartment. In her arms was a white, soft looking towel. Between the taxi ride and eventually arriving at the apartment, the rain had really started to come down. Just the walk from the sky car to the apartment had both of them drenched. _And of course, in my infinite wisdom, I did not bring a change of clothes._ Liara handed her the towel, and sitting on top of it was a fresh pair of grey Alliance issue track pants, a new tank-top, and a black and red hoodie.

"Here, I found some of your things while I was packing up the apartment. I intended to have them delivered to the Normandy, but since you're here, you might as well have them." Liara said as she handed the items over.

"Thanks Liara, I appreciate that." Shepard replied. She stood for a moment, just looking at the N7 hoodie that she thought was lost forever. The last time she had seen it felt like forever ago. And she hadn't been the one wearing it. Liara stood quietly beside her, no doubt reliving the same moment, but eventually she broke the silence. "I'm not sure about you, but I'm quite hungry. Would you like to order something in? I could call in a quick delivery order while you change?"

"Yeah, sure. I could go for something to eat. You pick, I'll uh, go change." Shepard responded quietly. Liara pointed her in the direction of the spare room, and Shepard headed to the back of the apartment.

Shepard entered the quiet, dimly lit room, and began to peel away the layers of wet clothing. Standing in just the black underwear she had managed to find, she picked up the hoodie and unfolded it. The fabric was well worn and faded with years of wear, but just holding it in her hands made her smile. She brought it to her nose and inhaled a familiar scent that brought a thousand memories flooding back.

" _Cora?"_

" _Yeah?"_

" _How did you know that this is what you wanted?" Liara asks as she runs a finger along Shepard's right arm. She's laying beside her, with her head on her chest, feeling incredibly safe with her commanders' arm around her shoulders._

" _How did I know that I wanted a beautiful asari draped across my chest?"_ _Shepard could feel Liara smile against her breast. She knew what she meant, but she couldn't help but purposely misconstrue it._

" _No, I mean how did you know that you wanted to be a solider?" Liara asks quietly, as Shepard runs her fingers down Liara's back._

" _I'm not sure I know how to answer that. It's just something I knew, something I was so sure of. The fact that I have biotics helped make the decision easier. Why waste the potential, you know?"_

" _So it was just the idea of wasted potential that made you want to enlist?"_

" _No," Shepard says, her brow furrowing in thought "no, it was more than that. My mom is in the Alliance as well, so I grew up mired in it. Not in a bad way though, but it was just part of my life. Seeing good people help others in need... it made me want to be a part of that. There's so much hate and misery out there, and I just wanted to be able to bring some light into the dark corners of the galaxy."_

 _Liara leaned up on her elbow to look at Shepard directly. Blue eyes met green, and Liara traced a finger along Shepard's perfectly shaped eyebrow, down her cheek, and along her lips._

" _I think that's what I love most about you. The way you're willing to put yourself on the line for someone else, someone innocent... it's..." Liara leaned down and kissed Shepard, her fingers running along her jawline and down towards her collar bone. Shepard leaned into the kiss, running her tongue along Liara's, teasing, playing. Shepard's heart started beating at a faster pace, and her hand was coming up to lightly touch the back of Liara's neck, just as Liara ended the kiss._

" _It's beautiful." Liara breathed._

 _Shepard exhaled, and delicately ran her fingers down Liara's spine. Liara placed a chaste kiss on Shepard's rapid pulse point, and moved to stand up._

" _Where are you going?"_

" _Well, Commander, in your haste to get into this room after the debrief, you somehow managed to forget that we need to eat. I'm starving. Would you like something?" Liara inquired as she stood up and rummaged around for something to throw on. Shepard watched as Liara moved about the room in the low light, the muscles in her back flexing as she bent over to retrieve what she had been looking for, giving Shepard a tantalizing view. She smiled as she watched Liara pull on a pair of track pants and the N7 hoodie she had retrieved from its location on the floor._

" _Just you." Shepard answered in a whisper. Liara turned and smiled in a way that was reserved for Shepard alone._

" _I'll be right back."_

* * *

Liara stood at the window of the apartment and watched the rain fall against the window. The lightning was increasing at a steady rate, and with it came the low rumbles of thunder. Handing over Shepard's clothes to her had caused her to feel a pang of loss, but Liara realized it was more because that was the only anchor she'd had for the last two years, and less because she wanted to withhold them. She then came upon the realization that she didn't need a fabric memento anymore. The real thing was an option.

Liara turned as she heard the soft foot-fall of Shepard walking back into the living room. Track pants low on her hips, and the N7 hoodie that looked as though it was a part of her, the familiarity (albeit shadowed with uncertainty) of Shepard was comforting. If Liara hadn't known any better, she would have assumed Shepard had been gone five minutes, not two years. It startled Liara to realize that the finality of death clearly couldn't touch someone like Shepard. On the outside at least.

"I've ordered some sushi to be delivered, but it might take some time. This kind of rain storm tends to slow deliveries down" Liara provided once Shepard had reached her side.

"Thanks. Feels like I haven't had sushi in years." Shepard responded. Liara looked at her in bewilderment.

"That was a joke."

She saw a smile creep onto Liara's mouth. "Not a very good one." Liara gently rebuked, but it was clear there was no force behind it. A comfortable silence fell, instead of the uncertain, awkward ones that came before. _Good thing I haven't lost my incredible sense of humour._


	6. Whispers in the Dark

A/N: As advised, this is a long one. I think we are done with the angst for now, so thank you for bearing with me!

* * *

Shepard sighed and watched the storm roll in. Sheets of rain were pelting down, interrupted by flashes of lightning and a low, rolling thunder. She could feel Liara beside her; feel the underlying tension that was still present. No matter what Liara might try and say, Shepard knew she herself was the cause. She couldn't help dying; she would have loved to have not been spaced. But she could help being a giant ass to the one person she loved more than anything.

"Listen, I'm just going to start talking and fumble my way through this the best I can." Shepard started. She didn't dare look at Liara. She knew the second she did, this would derail in a direction she didn't want it to go.

"Alright." Liara replied.

Shepard folded her arms in front of her and exhaled.

"When I first woke up in that Cerberus base, I thought someone was playing a cruel joke on me. As far as I knew, 45 minutes before waking up I was scrambling to get you, my crew, and fucking Joker out of the ship, only to watch her go down from a less than desirable viewpoint. An hour before waking up, I was in my cabin watching you leave to grab something to eat from the mess hall. I died, Liara. My suit was screaming at me, alarms were blaring, telling me I was losing oxygen. Within two seconds my hands were numb, and thankfully, I passed out 30 seconds later. But I was gone. And then I wake up to find a base on fire and some crazy Australian telling me to grab my weapons and armour. After every corner I took, after every mech I shot, I expected someone to stop the simulation and yell 'surprise!'. But it didn't happen." Shepard paused, her composure threatening to unravel. She drew in a breath and closed her eyes.

"Liara, it wasn't until I watched Miranda shoot that dick head Wilson that I realized that maybe this wasn't a simulation. And the 'maybe' became a definite when I was suddenly in a shuttle and these two strangers were asking me questions about my life. And I didn't know what to tell them. Because as far as I was concerned, I watched my life explode in front of me. Whatever I was living at that moment wasn't my life."  
Shepard took another breath and opened her eyes. She glanced at Liara, who was covering her mouth with her hand, tears streaming down her face.

"So I told them what my life was. My life was filled with people I love and care about. My life is hectic and chaotic, and more often than not the chaos is usually my fault. My life is kicking the asses of all the bad guys in the galaxy. It's mission reports and debriefs and damn award ceremonies. But more importantly, it's you. When I found out that I'd been dead for two years, I wanted to literally charge through every obstacle just to find you. I felt like I had failed you, that I let you down."

"Shepard..."

"Please, let me finish." Shepard asked quietly. "I went through mission after mission, and jumped through all these fucking hoops, in the hopes of just getting a whisper as to where you were. Miranda wouldn't tell me. Tali and Garrus couldn't. And it wasn't until the fuck up that was Horizon that the Illusive Man finally gave me your location. Even then, he only told me to serve his purposes I'm sure. I was surrounded by all these strangers who just stared blankly at me, either with admiration or fear. But not a single one actually gave a damn." Shepard could feel her anger rising as she spoke.

"And then I was on Illium, and I could practically run in one direction and bump into you. When I was finally standing in front of you, I expected the archeologist I had rescued on Therum, but you'd changed. I almost laughed at how ridiculous the scenario was. Of all the fucked up changes that had taken place, I assumed you would have changed the least. But there you were, with your own business, threatening to kill someone." Shepard was interrupted by a fierce crack of lightning and an explosion of thunder seconds after it. She watched the storm rage on as she continued speaking.

"When we left Illium that night and got back onto the Normandy, it took Garrus an hour to convince me not kill every Cerberus crew member on that ship. I was so indescribably mad. I was mad at them for not telling me sooner where you were. I was mad that they tried to recreate a feeling of normalcy that I couldn't accept. I got onto the Normandy and made a beeline for Miranda's office. I don't know what I was going to do, but I knew it was somehow her fault. That it had to be her fault. Fortunately for Miranda, Joker made the mistake of chiming in, so I ripped a strip off his ass instead."

 _Shepard exits the shuttle, leaving Garrus, Mordin, and the recently recruited Thane in her wake. She tosses her helmet across the cargo bay and stalks towards the elevator as it clatters to against cargo boxes._

" _Shepard!" Garrus calls from behind her, but she enters the elevator without acknowledging him. Shepard waits until the elevator door closes, and then presses her forehead against the cool metal. Hot tears spill from her eyes, and a white rage engulfs her._

" _EDI. Where is Miranda."_

" _Ms. Lawson is currently in her office on the crew deck."_

" _Take me there. Now."_

 _The elevator begins its slow ascent, and it takes Shepard every ounce of control she has left to not biotically punch the control pad._

 _The door finally opens to the crew deck, and she steps out and turns to the right. Miranda is just coming out of her office when she sees Shepard, and stops short. The concern on Miranda's face is quickly shielded and replaced with the icy demeanour she favours._

" _Shepard. How did the mission..."_

" _Don't. Don't say another fucking word to me." Shepard interrupts, in a dangerously low whisper. Tendrils of blue are misting off Shepard's armour, and the scowl she is wearing would have intimidated a krogan. Miranda straightens and she puts her hands behind her back. The body language isn't lost on Shepard. She's spent years honing her skills of reading people, and she knows that Miranda is either attempting to show Shepard she isn't afraid, or is showing herself as unthreatening. Miranda's eyes flick over to something behind Shepard and then icy blue meet green again_. _Ignoring the command, Miranda continues._ " _Commander, perhaps we could discuss this somewhere else."_

 _Shepard's situational awareness kicks in, and she recognizes the reason for the request. She notes that Garrus is now behind her, patiently waiting to see what she will do. There are also three Cerberus crewmembers sitting at the table in the mess hall, fidgeting in their seats and trying to look as small as possible. Just as her attention is about to be diverted back to Miranda, she sees Joker shuffle out from where Gardner was hiding.  
_  
" _Hey Shepard. Care for a cup of coffee? Seems like you might need to relax a little." he remarked flippantly as he took a sip of his coffee._

 _Miranda closed her eyes at the foolishness of the remark as Shepard approached Joker. He realized at the last minute that he happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time._

" _I'm sorry, Lieutenant, would you care to run that by me again?"_

 _At the mention of rank, Joker straightens as best he can with a fragile body and a coffee cup in his hand._

" _Ma'am respectfully, I would like to decline."_

" _Denied." Shepard growls._

 _Joker swallows and places the coffee cup on the counter beside him in order to stand at attention._

" _I asked if you would like a cup of coffee, as it seems you need to relax, ma'am." he says, and Shepard can see the Cerberus crew trying desperately to look like they are invisible._

" _And since you've taken it upon yourself to be the go-to authority in determining my state of mind, would you mind telling me why it is you seem to think I need to relax?"_

" _Ma'am, respectfully I would like..."_

" _Denied."_

 _Joker looked at Shepard, his eyes pleading that this not happen here. So far he'd been lucky. He knew he was the sole reason Shepard had died and is now facing an entirely new reality. But so far, she'd not addressed it. Now, his stupid timing and ridiculous attempt at mitigating the situation has cost him dearly.  
_  
" _Ma'am I... I only meant that..."_

" _Look," Shepard interjected, taking pity on him, "you and I both know the real reason for this cluster fuck of a life I am now involved in. And if I wanted to get real petty, I could even blame you for the ridiculous situation I am finding myself in with my very close friends. I know you went through the wringer for months from both the Alliance and the Council, which is why I allow you a few concessions. But don't you ever presume to tell me how I should and should not feel given my current set of circumstances. Have I made myself clear, flight lieutenant?"_

" _Crystal, ma'am."_

" _Dismissed."_

 _Joker saluted and hurried as fast as he could to the elevator, thankful that he at least escaped without breaking any bones. Shepard turned around and glared at Miranda, "I'll find you later." she stated. Turning around, tears finally threatening to fall now that her anger was turning into pure hurt, she looked up at Garrus and nodded, giving him the permission he was waiting for. He turned and walked with her towards the lounge and the alcohol._

"So that's why, when I saw you, and saw that you were a different person… it shook me to the core. You were the one thing I was banking on as being the same. And maybe that makes me naïve, and selfish, to think me dying wouldn't change you. But I just wanted that one island of solace amid all this insanity."

Shepard sighed, and continued to look out the window. Liara hadn't moved, and she hadn't spoken. She stood silently watching the storm beside her lover, processing what Shepard had told her. They stood in silence for a long while before Liara said anything.

"I couldn't help myself, Shepard. I couldn't stop the change that occurred. My entire world went crashing down when the Normandy did, except I didn't know it had until hours later. I spent hours in a cramped escape pod, wishing that someone would hear the distress call and rescue us. I needed to get out of that pod and find you. When help finally did arrive and we were let out of the pods, I looked for you but couldn't see you. I thought perhaps your pod had landed farther away, and that maybe you were helping Joker walk to where the rest of us were. I saw Tali, Adams, and two terrified looking engineers get out of one pod. Garrus and Wrex out of another. Chakwas was purposefully moving from pod to pod, taking stock of injuries and assisting those who could not wait. But I couldn't see you. I walked around a massive snow covered boulder, and saw a marine helping Joker out of the pod you two were in. Only, you weren't in it." Liara stopped and lowered her head. Shepard watched as she worked through the scene, as she forced herself to relive it again.

"Shepard, can I show you?"

Shepard saw the tears in Liara's eyes, and felt her own starting to fall. Lightning cracked in the sky, illuminating everything in the room.

"Please."

"Embrace eternity." Liara said, as her eyes went black.

* * *

Roiling colours of blues and greys, mixed emotions of anger, pain, love, and mistrust all blended together to form the thoughts and feelings of Cora Shepard and Liara T'Soni. The colours settled gradually, as though they were sediment at the bottom of a shallow pool, and individual thoughts and shapes started to emerge. As the initiator, Liara had opened her mind up to Shepard, and therefore did not expect to see much in return. However, as Shepard's mind tentatively brushed Liara's, Liara could see much more than she had anticipated.

Liara offered images and emotions following her discovery that Shepard was not in the escape pod with Joker. She provided a story written without words, and painted a picture that spoke directly to Shepard's subconscious. The incredible pain of the memorial, Hackett, Anderson, Admiral Shepard, and countless other dignitaries mourning over an empty casket. A hand-written note from Hannah Shepard covered by a pane of glass on the top, describing how proud she was of her daughter. Afterwards, when it was over, Liara had gone back to her rented room on the Citadel, and lay on the bed for hours, sobbing.

The colours shifted, as did the story. She showed Shepard why she made the decision to go to Illium, and the terrible loneliness she had experienced during her time there. How Liara gradually started to build a wall up around her heart to protect it from the invisible arrows that threatened to pierce it every day. She briefly showed Shepard her interactions with Feron; how it was one connection with someone who had a vested interest in Commander Shepard, though for reasons of his own.

All things were made clear, and all emotions were explored. Shepard showed her hurt and frustration over Kaidan's dismissal of her. Her reprimand of Joker. Her own crushing loneliness.

Above all, they shared with each other their love. A deep, visceral connection established in the weeks following the battle of the Citadel. All hurts were mended, apologies given and forgiven. And as the blues and greys turned to soft reds and yellows, the only words that needed to be spoken were passed from one mind to the next.

I love you.

I love you too.


	7. Love is a Place

A/N: This chapter is the reason this story is rated M. Sexual content below.

Enjoy!

* * *

Liara broke the meld and threw her arms around Shepard's neck, hugging her close, her face nuzzled into her neck. "I was lost without you." She whispered. Shepard pulled back and took Liara's face in her hands. Looking into Liara's eyes, Shepard saw the woman she loved instead of the façade Liara had erected. The shadows were gone, as was the pain of loss. Instead, crystalline blue eyes held tranquility and love.

Liara twined her fingers through Shepard's hair and pulled her lips down to meet her own, initiating the dance Liara had longed for. Shepard gladly reciprocated, moving her hands to Liara's lower back and pressing her closer. The kiss became heated within seconds, Liara's tongue gently moving to find Shepard's. Taking a step forward, Liara pushed Shepard against the window, pinning her there with her body. Shepard could feel her heart rate accelerating as her back made contact with the cool glass. _Two can play at that game, love._ Shepard's hands found the hem of Liara's shirt and moved past it, running her hands against Liara's skin. The feeling made Liara arch her back, and she broke the kiss with a gasp.

Shepard exhaled, her lips tingling with the contact of the kiss. She watched Liara bite her lip as if contemplating something, and then her eyes flicked to Shepard's. A bolt of lightning lit up the room as Liara made up her mind.

Letting go of Shepard's hair, she stepped back and took her hand, pulling her forward. Shepard followed Liara through the living room, watching the sway of her hips as she moved ahead. Before Liara made it to the stairs, Shepard gently pulled Liara back into her arms.

"I would like to kiss you again, Dr. T'Soni."

"Yes, Commander." Liara breathed as she leaned in.

A rumble of thunder reverberated through their chests as Shepard's lips found Liara's. Shepard felt her entire body respond to Liara's gentle tongue moving against hers, and instinctively pulled Liara closer. Liara allowed it for a moment, before once again breaking the kiss.

"Follow me."

"Gladly."

Liara took Shepard's hand once again, and led her up the stairs.

They didn't make it past the last step before lips and bodies met again, hungrily searching, asking and receiving. Shepard removed Liara's tank top as Liara was undoing Shepard's hoodie, never breaking their kiss. Shepard's hands roamed across Liara's bare back, down her arms, and along her waist. She revelled in the feeling of the skin she missed so much. She gently bit Liara's lip as her hands encountered the soft swell of Liara's breasts, brushing her knuckles along the underside and along her ribcage. She felt goose bumps form they both broke for air. Liara looked at Shepard with half lidded eyes, and removed Shepard's tank top, running her hands along her abdomen. As soon as the offending garment was off, Liara gently pushed Shepard backwards towards the bed.

Shepard landed on the soft white comforter, with Liara moving up along her body.

"You're beautiful." Shepard whispered as she brought her hand to the back of Liara's neck where she was delightfully sensitive. Shepard's entire body reverberated with need as she felt Liara's soft skin against hers. Shepard suddenly realized how inconvenient her remaining clothing was. As if reading her mind, Liara ran her hand along Shepard's ribs to her back to unhook her bra. With the garment discarded, Liara leaned down to kiss the hollow of Shepard's throat, her tongue moving to trace a circle against her heartbeat. Shepard exhaled with a moan, and she felt Liara's smile against her neck. Supporting her weight on one arm, Liara moved her hand lower to the waistband of Shepard's pants. Tugging them down a little, Liara's mouth came up to Shepard's ear.

"Could you remove these, please?" she whispered, her warm breath sending shivers down Shepard's spine. Shepard quickly obliged, and as she lifted her hips to remove the pants, she gently brushed the back of her hand against Liara's heat. Liara took a sharp intake of breath and closed her eyes. Shepard took the opportunity the distraction provided, and as soon as her pants were tossed aside, grabbed Liara's hips and gently pushed her to the side, using the momentum of her own movement to switch their positions. Shepard kissed Liara to stifle the half-hearted complaint of losing the upper hand.

Liara wrapped her arms around Shepard's shoulders as the kiss escalated; Liara struggling to keep herself still as her hips refused to listen. The inadvertent grinding gave Shepard pause, and she rested her forehead against Liara's and breathed deeply. Liara ran her hands down Shepard's strong biceps, one hand moving to cup Shepard's breast, gently squeezing at the soft flesh. Body shaking in an attempt to slow down, fighting the need to move much faster, Shepard began trailing soft kisses down Liara's throat, to her collarbone. Moving lower, her tongue and lips leaving a trail of goose bumps between Liara's breasts and down her smooth stomach. Looking up at Liara and arching an eyebrow, Liara responded silently with a small smile. Shepard resumed her steady movements, placing a kiss on Liara's hipbone, moving the waistband of her pants out of the way. They both realized that there was yet another obstruction, and it was quickly removed. Liara reached down to run her fingers through Shepard's hair, just as Shepard's mouth found the place she had been seeking. Lightly kissing the top of Liara's sex caused Liara's hips to move, wanting more of the contact. Shepard gladly obliged, running her tongue along the sensitive folds. Liara arched her back and gasped, her body pleading for more.

Shepard tasted and teased, her tongue flicking in delicious circles as Liara tightened her grip on Shepard's hair. Liara could no longer control her hips as they moved of their own volition, and her legs shook with the effort of not completely losing control. Her breathing heavy, and soft moans escaping from her mouth. "Cora…" she breathed, and like lightning, Shepard's mouth was on hers, her fingers touching where her mouth had been. Liara's tongue greedily tasted Shepard's, before breaking the content to gasp as Shepard's hand moved to the back of Liara's neck. Her fingers caressed Liara's most sensitive spot as Liara's legs came up around Shepard's hips, her back arching.

"Cora, I need…"

"Let go, love."

"Embrace eternity." Liara managed, as her eyes moved to black.

Shepard felt the explosion that was Liara's mind dance across hers. A fierce need blended with the feelings of ecstasy and love, and Shepard could feel her mind and body wrapped up in Liara. No longer just a physical sense, but also an exquisitely whole feeling encompassed both of them. Feeling the need and desire as though it was her own, pushed Shepard to the edge. She could feel her physical body moving in perfect timing with Liara's, at the same time as feeling the crashing waves of Liara's climax. Shepard's came instantaneously, and a pleasure like she had never known washed over her. Tangled within and without, Shepard cried out. Months of loneliness, heartbreak and despair were cleared from both minds within the perfect completion.

Shepard could feel Liara slowly withdrawing from the meld, and as she opened her eyes to the life she knew, she saw beautiful blue eyes meet her own. Liara pulled Shepard closer, her arms and legs wrapped around her lover, as tears of love spilled down her cheeks.

* * *

For the first time in months, Shepard woke up with a feeling of being completely whole. Gone was the deep-seated anger that had been her companion since she woke up in the Cerberus base. Her mind was empty of despair and doubt.

She once again knew who she was.

Nestled against her was the catalyst of that awareness. She could hear the soft breathing of the asari sleeping next to her, and pulled her closer. Wrapped up in her lover, Shepard was content to let her sleep. _Probably the first time she's slept well in the last two years._

Shepard let the memories of the initial meld Liara imparted cross over her mind. "No wonder you needed that wall." She said quietly as she kissed Liara's shoulder. The things Liara had seen, and then had to deal with on her own, left Shepard at a loss for words. For the first time, Shepard was able to put herself in Liara's situation, and she knew that she would not have fared as well as Liara had. The protective measures Liara took in order to not sink into deep depression made sense now, and Shepard had a new-found admiration for the woman in her arms. The strength required to move past what Liara had was astronomical. Tears formed in Shepard's eyes as she recognized that for all her intelligence, cunning, and sheer dumb luck, she was not immune to death. Not that she was afraid of it, but she was afraid of what it would do to Liara. What it had done to Liara. _I can't promise her that it won't happen again. Not while the entire galaxy is going to hell in a hand basket at the hands… tentacles… whatever, of ancient machines._

Shepard willed the tears to stop, but she found she couldn't. The mental and physical release had done wonders to soothe and heal, but she was still human. She couldn't help being afraid.

She felt Liara stir against her, and she turned her head just in time to see Shepard wipe her cheeks free of tears.

"Shepard, what's wrong?" Liara said with some alarm as she moved to face her.

"Nothing love, I'm fine."

Liara frowned in disbelief. "I believe that there are only a few occasions where humans cry. Given our current set of circumstances, most of those reasons do not apply. Please, just tell me."

Shepard looked into Liara's eyes and sighed. "Li, I… I don't want to ever do that to you again. What you showed me last night… if they weren't already blown to hell, I'd go back into that Collector base and tear each and every one of them apart with my hands for hurting you. But there are more monsters in the dark still. And I don't… I don't know how to protect you from that." Shepard said as her voice broke. Liara cupped Shepard's face in her hands, wiping her tears away with her thumbs.

"Shepard, I know that you would go to the ends of the galaxy to protect the ones that you love. You already have. You've been the sole ray of hope for many out there, and there will be many more who will place their burdens on you. But you never need to carry those burdens alone. I know you did not wish to die, and I know that had it been under your control, you would have been in that life pod with Joker. Don't ever be sorry for something you had no control over. And as for protecting me…" Liara paused to kiss Shepard "I know who I want to be with, who I want to spend my life with. I know who you are and what you're about. I know you're brave and loyal and completely selfless. But I also know that this love comes at a cost. I know you can't promise you'll always be coming back. That is something I have accepted. We both will take whatever time we are granted, and live as though the day we are apart will never come."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome, Cora."


	8. Breathe in the Air

To: C. Shepard  
From: M. Lawson  
Date: February 22nd, 2168 07:12 SST  
Subject: Progress Update

Shepard,

I regret to inform you that there has been an incident on the Normandy.

Grunt took it upon himself to feed your fish.

EDI alerted me to some suspect behaviour occurring in your cabin last night. Once I had gotten there, I found that Grunt had eaten a few of your fish, and was playing with one of your model ships. Fortunately, your model was unharmed. Unfortunately, you are down four fish. I'm honestly quite surprised it was only four, given how much a growing krogan male can eat. Doctor Chakwas assures me he will be fine (Mordin was concerned he might suffer an allergic reaction to non-native food), and he has been brought up to speed as to what a "pet" is.

He has been barred from entering your cabin.

More importantly, we are almost finished with the drive core. Donnelly, Daniels, and Tali all advise that we should be done within the next few hours. Tali has requested to remain with the Migrant Fleet to finalize affairs after her fathers death, while we finish repairs on Omega. With your permission, I will grant her the leave.

I will notify you once we have reached Omega.

M.

To: M. Lawson  
From: C. Shepard  
Date: February 22nd, 2168 07:32 SST  
Subject: Re: Progress Update

Miranda,

Damn krogan and their fish. What is with that? Once you reach Omega, can you please buy Grunt a damn pet fish? Tell him it's from the lakes on the Presidium or something… apparently that's all the rage right now. That'll hopefully keep him from eating everything in sight.

Maybe Grunt should go spend some time on Tuchanka. He can eat Wrex's pet varren and see how far that gets him.

Leave granted.

Shepard.

Shepard shakes her head with a smile. Grunt is a pain in the ass, but damn does she have a soft spot for him. The image of a krogan fishing still present in her mind, she continues her run. Liara has loaned her some running gear, and has told her where to find a little park farther into the heart of Nos Astra. There are wonderful pathways twining through various Thessian trees and flowers, all of which are in full bloom. The rainstorm from the night before has completely cleared by the morning, leaving the air crisp and fresh, instead of the normal humidity that lingers during the day.

As she jogged along, Shepard kept going back to the night before. She hadn't anticipated that her impromptu visit to Illium would net such a positive outcome. _24 hours ago I was a mess of anger and turmoil. Now I'm jogging through a beautiful park in Nos Astra, whole and content._ The initial decision to go to Hagalaz was a tough one to come to. On one hand, she didn't like admitting defeat. On the other, it was Liara. And the asari is more important to her than her own pride.

The thought of Liara makes Shepard's heart jump, and she increases her pace in order to get back to her lover.

* * *

Shepard gets back to the apartment just as the broker Liara had hired was leaving. A friendly looking turian, dressed smartly in black, nods to her as she passes him in the hallway. She is almost at the door when she hears him speak

"Hey, aren't you Commander Shepard?"

She closes her eyes and sighs. Turning around, she responds, "Yeah, last time I checked at least."

"Huh. I thought you were dead."

"Something like that."

"I knew that was just a ploy. The Butcher can't be killed!" he says with a laugh.

Shepard freezes at the nickname. She hasn't heard it in years, and she has worked hard to make sure it isn't cultivated.

"Well, I'm glad you've surfaced again Shepard." He continues, "There's a whole lot of nasty shit happening out there in the galaxy, and you're the only one who can fix it all." He says cryptically. Shepard nods to him as he gives a friendly wave and continues down the hall.

 _Well that was fucking weird_.

Shepard turns and opens the door to the apartment. As she walks in, she is hit with the faint smell of something cooking. Rounding the corner, she sees Liara standing in the kitchen chopping something at the counter, her back to the doorway. Leaning against the wall, Shepard watches her for a moment, a smile spreading across her mouth. Dressed in shorts and a tank top, Liara looks damn cute as she moves around the kitchen "Me and my dumb luck…" she says aloud, mostly to herself. Liara turns her head at the sound of Shepard's voice.

"Are you watching me, Commander?"

"Yep. Sure am."

"Like what you see?"

"Yep. Sure do." Shepard responds with note of admiration in her voice, as she starts moving towards Liara.

Coming up behind her, Shepard runs her hands along Liara's hips and to her stomach, folding her into an embrace. Kissing her neck and her cheek, she holds Liara close and breathes in her scent. Liara puts the knife on the counter, and leans her head back onto Shepard's shoulder.

"How was your run?"

"It was good. That's a beautiful park. I had no idea Nos Astra had anything like that."

"Well, you have only been here for business. I doubt that would have afforded you the opportunity to enjoy the sights."

"No, it certainly did not." Shepard acknowledges. Placing another kiss on Liara's neck, she hears her sigh in contentment.

"Is this what being normal feels like?" Liara asks after a few moments of silence. Shepard smiles and turns Liara around to face her. Placing a kiss on her lips, she replies, "I don't know. I've never really had a 'normal' life. Plus, it's kind of hard to be normal when people recognize you wherever you go."

"Did some of your fans find you?" Liara asks laughing, wrapping her arms around Shepard's neck.

"No, just that turian broker you hired. He recognized me when he saw me in the hall. Speaking of which, you weren't wearing this when he was in here, right?" Shepard asks in mock jealousy.

"It's so attractive when you get jealous." Liara playfully replies, pulling Shepard's head down for another kiss. Breaking the contact all too soon, Liara gently pushes Shepard back. "Why don't you go shower. Breakfast will be ready by the time you come out."

"Yes ma'am." Shepard states, giving Liara a mock salute as she walks in the direction of the bathroom.

* * *

"That was amazing love. Thanks. Sure beats whatever Gardner usually cooks us."

"You're welcome." Liara says with a smile. Shepard and Liara sit at the table in the kitchen, looking out the massive windows and watching the bustle of Nos Astra pass by, enjoying a companionable silence. With breakfast done and a shower accomplished, Shepard is feeling completely at ease. _I could get used to this._ Knowing though that there's a mission out there waiting for her, Shepard takes the momentary peace for what it is.

"I suppose you're back on the clock soon, aren't you." Liara states as if reading Shepard's mind.

"Yeah. I've got to head out to the Bahak system and rescue a deep cover operative. But you already knew that. Which I guess could work in my benefit. Is there anything I should know?"

Liara pauses for a moment, thinking back to the research she had done once she found out Hackett had asked Shepard to complete the mission. Being the Shadow Broker has its benefits. No one else could have hacked into high-level Alliance military communications without being caught.

"Just that it's a Batarian prison camp Doctor Kenson is being held in. You're likely to run into heavily armed guards, but they won't be expecting a rescue operation, so they should be few and far between. From what I understand, it's a fairly secret prison, known only to high ranking officials in the Hegemony."

"Yeah, Hackett mentioned something like that. What concerns me the most though is the Reaper artifact that Kenson reportedly found. That's some pretty serious shit to uncover, and if the Batarians get a hold of it… well, it'll get real messy real quick."

"Certainly. The risk of indoctrination would be high." Liara responds quietly. "Shepard, I know you're going in alone, and I just want you to make sure you'll be careful. You're well known to Batarians, and if they capture you..."

"I know love. Don't worry. I'll be in and out with Doctor Kenson before they realize what's hit them."


	9. Head Over Heels

A/N: Well, this went in a direction I wasn't expecting.

This chapter contains sexual content, including mild bondage.

Consider yourself warned :)

* * *

"Is this the last box, Li?"

"It is, thank you."

"Hey, maybe next time you move, we could just use biotics to get everything where it needs to be." Shepard huffed as she carried the last box down the stairs. Liara smiled, listening to Shepard grumble something about the various ways to use biotic abilities. She took one final look around the loft-style bedroom; the fish tank had been emptied, and her Prothean relics are stored safely away, ready to be transferred to a museum on Thessia. Heading down the stairs, she looked on as Shepard moved some of the boxes around in the kitchen in order to make it easier to finish loading them up. Liara still couldn't get past the normalcy of the day. She had woken up in Shepard's arms, kissed her goodbye as she headed off for a run, had her wet clothes laundered, and prepared and made breakfast. And now she was watching Shepard – the same Commander Shepard that had spoken to a Reaper, charged into many a Geth Prime and laughed when they exploded, and decimated a Collector base in the Galactic Core – move around in such a normal setting. It has truly been a spectacular morning. But the thought was always there, the little gnawing at the back of her mind, that this was short-lived. That maybe the next Geth Prime wouldn't explode. That the next mission wouldn't end in success. In a few hours, Shepard would be off to save yet another person in need, and Liara would go back to her ship with just the company of Feron and the info drone.

"… and maybe by that point, Kaidan will be less of an ass and he could help too. Three biotics would make quick work… shit, Liara, are you ok?"

Liara looks up and catches Shepard's eyes, tears threatening to fall. Shepard takes a step towards her, but Liara is already moving, throwing herself into Shepard's arms.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Shepard asks with concern, as she draws Liara into a hug. Liara buries her face into Shepard's neck, willing the tears and feeling of panic to go away.

"I'm scared, Shepard." Liara feels Shepard sigh, as she murmurs a gentle 'I know'. Liara recognizes, without a shadow of a doubt, the love that Shepard has for her. She felt it in the meld they shared, she sees it in the way Shepard looks at her, and feels it in the way she's touching her now. But she cannot banish the dreadful feeling of history repeating itself.

"Love, I can't promise you that every mission I take on will have a positive outcome. You know I can't. But I can promise you that I will fight as hard as possible to come back to you. Death couldn't stop me, so I'm fairly certain that nothing else can. And besides… the thought of how mad you'd be if I died again should be enough to keep me out of trouble."

"Shepard, it isn't something to make light of."

"You're right. I guess I just have a different perspective of death nowadays. But seriously, a thousand blood-raging krogan couldn't keep me from coming back to you. You're going to drive yourself insane if you worry like this."

Liara pulls back slightly to make eye contact with her lover, and notices something in her eyes she hasn't seen before; a true belief that Cora Shepard is impervious to everything and anything. A pure confidence in herself and her abilities, and an honest and complete love for Liara. Something clicks in Liara's brain. A subtle change in the way she sees Shepard. The awareness that Shepard views herself like this bolsters Liara's confidence. Fate couldn't be that cruel. She has to believe in Shepard, and trust her as much as Shepard trusts herself.

"You're right." Liara says, the look of realization evident in her eyes.

Shepard's lips quirk into a smile.

"'Atta girl. I knew you'd come around."

Liara looks fondly into her Commander's eyes, and as if magnetically drawn, her lips find Shepard's. A passionate kiss envelops them both. Liara's hands tangling into Shepard's hair, she gently tugs as she bites Shepard's lip. A sharp intake of breath is reciprocated with a nudge backwards, as Liara pushes Shepard closer to the counter. Untangling her hands from her hair when she feels the resistance of Shepard's lower back making contact with the surface, Liara runs her hands down Shepard's arms, gently removing her hands from her hips and placing them on the countertop.

"What're you doing?" Shepard asks curiously, raising an eyebrow as she breaks the kiss to come up for air.

"Finding a new use for biotic abilities." Liara replies slyly, as she generates a small stasis field around one of Shepard's hands, temporarily binding it to the countertop. "May I?"

Shepard's eyes dart to Liara's, and her mouth drops open slightly. "Yeah… you certainly may."

Liara generates a second stasis field around Shepard's other hand. Moving further forward, standing between Shepard's legs, Liara leans forward to kiss her neck as her hands move to undo her jeans. Liara feels the rapid pulse just below the surface of the skin she is kissing, and trailing downwards, stops just at the top of the tank-stop Shepard is wearing. Achieving her goal of undoing the jeans, she moves her hands below the waistband, making contact with Shepard's skin as she slides them down her legs. Now kneeling in front of her lover, Liara looks up with a mischievous grin on her face. She sees Shepard swallow hard, and notes the rapid rise and fall of her chest.

Starting at her calf, Liara trails a line of kisses up to Shepard's knee, to her thigh, to her hip bone. Her right hand is following the same path on the other leg, leaving behind a trail of goose bumps. With one hand on Shepard's hip, Liara deposits a single kiss at her core. Shepard's hips involuntarily move, seeking more of the contact. She draws in a breath, muttering a single expletive.

"Fuck."

Liara smiles wickedly, running a finger along the top of Shepard's underwear. She can see Shepard struggling against the stasis fields, testing their strength; they are not that strong, as most of Liara's concentration is elsewhere. She knows Shepard could break them if she really tried. But she seems more than content to leave them be, as Liara starts to move the underwear out of the way. Liara kisses each portion of skin revealed as the garment is removed, purposely avoiding the one thing she knows Shepard wants.

It isn't until the underwear is completely out of the way does Liara concede. Running her tongue along Shepard's sex causes the exact reaction she was looking for; another expletive, followed by a soft moan escaping her lips. Encouraged by the sound, Liara repeats the motion, this time focusing on one single spot for a moment longer. Revelling in a taste that is so similar to her own, Liara's tongue begins dancing in small circles, slowly stoking the fire. She can feel Shepard's legs trembling, but she knows it isn't from any type of exertion.

Shepard's hips are now moving in time with Liara's motions, her forearms straining against their bonds. Liara places a hand on Shepard's hip to control the movements, and the fingers of her other hand join her tongue. Running two fingers along the soft folds, Liara can feel the silky wetness, and slowly slides them inside her lover.

"Fuck, Liara." Shepard exclaims, the rise and fall of her chest increasing rapidly, the muscles in her legs tensing as a fierce need starts to build in her belly. Liara times her movements so that every circle, every flick of her tongue, is interspersed with a thrust of her hand. She can feel the momentum causing Shepard to come close to the edge, and as Shepard throws her head back and begs her not to stop, Liara increases the tempo. Within moments, she hears her lover cry out as her body tenses around her fingers, soft pulsations sending ripples of desire through Liara's own body.

Liara stands up as Shepard's breathing slowly starts to return to normal. She removes the stasis fields and watches Shepard's half-lidded eyes come into focus.

"That… that was… something else." Shepard manages with a soft exhale.

"Well, you were muttering something about various uses of biotic abilities earlier." Liara responds coyly as she leans into her lover, kissing her on the cheek.

"Yeah. I guess I was."

Shepard takes Liara's hand in hers, and bringing it to her lips, kisses her palm. Her green eyes dancing mischievously, she looks into Liara's.

"My turn."


	10. Ritorna-Me

A/N: A bit of a long one, but I wanted to wrap things up on Illium.

I couldn't help feeling a bit sad for Shepard while I was writing this chapter, especially in the last few paragraphs :(

* * *

Liara and Shepard walked through the trading floor of Nos Astra, hand in hand. With boxes packed and a Commander fixed, it was on to the next mission, on to the next task.

They pause at the balcony overlooking the sprawling expanse of the city. Shepard leans forward with her forearms supporting her weight and can feel Liara assuming the same position beside her. Evening is falling, and the sky is moving to vivid pinks and dark blues as the sun sets behind them.

Shepard reaches for Liara's hand and twines their fingers together. Looking down at the soft blue hand mixed with her rough and calloused one, she can't help but imagine the feel of that soft blue hand on her skin. She smiles at the memory and looks out over the city once more.

"What time is your operative supposed to arrive?" Shepard finally resigns herself to ask.

"Operative Dax will be arriving for you by 17:00 hours. Human, efficient, and quiet. I knew you'd appreciate the last two traits." Liara responds with a smile.

With the Normandy now in confirmed dry-dock on Omega, Shepard had previously arranged to have a private transport take her to the Bahak system. The pilot had requested a sizeable sum, considering it was extremely hazardous to travel within Batarian space. A stealth-engaged Normandy would have been a much better option, but there was no way Shepard was going to risk her ship by flying it across the galaxy while in she was in serious need of repairs. The collector ship, and the subsequent crash landing on the collector base had done a number on the sensors and shielding, and Shepard didn't want to take the chance that something critically failed while in orbit around Aratoht. However, once reconnected with Liara, a new option presented itself in the form of a private ship owned by one of the Shadow Brokers own operatives.

"Thanks Li." Shepard responds, and assumes the tone she takes when providing mission briefs. "Barring any serious issues, I suspect I _should_ be able to get Kenson out of there within six to eight hours. Once she's out of that prison and back on her base, wherever the hell that is, I'll ping you and let you know my co-ordinates. I don't think the Normandy will be done that fast, so I'll need your ship again."

"Of course, Shepard."

They fall back into a companionable silence, watching the sunset illuminate the windows of the sky scrapers. Liara leans her head against Shepard's shoulder.

"What are you going to do afterwards?" she asks, closing her eyes as she feels Shepard kiss her crest.

"I'm going to be a pirate."

Liara's head snaps up and she stares at Shepard in disbelief.

"No, seriously, think about it. No one telling me what to do, or where to go. No expense reports. No military chain of command. No Cerberus. Jack and I have talked a lot about this. I think she's really on to something here." Shepard deadpans.

"Shepard…"

"I'm kidding, Liara." She laughs as she squeezes Liara's hand.

"Goddess. Don't do that."

Shepard chuckles and kisses Liara's cheek.

"Sorry babe, I couldn't help myself. I have thought of it though. It'd be so much easier. But then, when I realized that I wouldn't be part of the Alliance… I just couldn't fathom the idea. That was the second hardest thing for me to accept when I woke up; I couldn't believe that the Alliance could just abandon me, whitewash the truth away, and call it a day. That really fucking hurt. I know Anderson was trying his damnedest, but he's only one man. With me being declared KIA, it was easier for the Alliance to just brush me under the rug, right along with the Reaper threat. And I'm sure the council was right happy to go along with it, too. So I've made the decision to go back to Arcturus once I'm done with Bahak. I want to be a part of my family again. I want to see my mom. I want an explanation as to why I was so easily dismissed."

"Do you think they'll give you that?"

"Probably not. When it really comes down to it, we're all just stubborn jarheads."

"What about the current crew?"

"I sent a communication to the Cerberus crew before we stopped here. Basically, I told them that after Omega, the Normandy was going back to Alliance space and anyone who didn't want to be arrested for being part of a terrorist organization should get their asses off-board." Shepard says with a sly smile. "I suspect most of them will be getting off on Omega. With EDI's shackles removed, we don't need a full crew anyways.

Tali is already with the Fleet. Grunt is going to want to go to Tuchanka I'm sure. Garrus… well, I think he's had his fill of being Defender of the Peace, so he'll most likely go to Palaven and calibrate something. They're all going to let Miranda know before leaving Omega though. When I finally get back to the Normandy, it'll be a pretty quiet place."

As she finishes her explanation, Liara receives a notification on her omni-tool. She reads it and sighs. Looking over at Shepard, she watches her for a moment before kissing her. Shepard responds to the kiss, squeezing Liara's hand to reassure her.

"I'll send a message to you as soon as I can. I don't want to risk giving myself away while I'm on the prison grounds, but once we jump into the system and once I've gotten out with Kenson, I'll be sending word." Shepard says, placing as much confidence and nonchalance into her voice as she can muster, even though her stomach churns at the thought of leaving Liara behind.

"I know you will. I unfortunately do not have any eyes on the ground on Aratoht, so I won't be able to provide immediate assistance, but I will be monitoring communications. You will have coverage, even if you can't see it."

Shepard looks fondly at Liara, amazed at the woman standing in front of her. _Old Liara would never have spoken like that._

"Thanks love. I'll see you soon." She says as she kisses Liara once more. Slinging a duffle bag over her shoulder, she pulls Liara into a hug.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

* * *

Shepard arrives at the docking bay Liara had provided her right on time. A small, trading vessel class ship with the name 'Serenity' in blocky script written on its side is docked, and a short man with salt and pepper hair and dark skin is standing at the entrance of the docking tube. Shepard was initially concerned when Liara first offered her own transportation. At least with the Normandy, she has the security of knowing that every single person on board is sworn to secrecy, and wouldn't let it slip that the formerly dead, formerly 'Commander' Shepard is being flown to a secret prison base on Aratoht. Mission details this secretive were listed as 'Classified-CO/XO Only', but even the location itself would be enough to warrant suspicion. But Liara patiently explained that this operative is extremely trustworthy. And apparently, even if he wasn't, she had enough dirt on him to ruin his life. Failing that, Liara would find a way to 'contain the situation'.

Shepard notices him attempting to make eye contact, and she approaches him, nodding her greeting.

"Good day, miss. If you would kindly come aboard, we will be on our way shortly." Dax says, and Shepard notes the hint of an accent.

"Thank you." She replies. Walking into the docking tube, she glances behind her to see if Dax is following. She watches him move towards a control panel, fire up his omni-tool, and place it against the panel. A flashing light on his wrist turns from yellow to green within ten seconds, and he is soon following behind Shepard. Looking at him quizzically, he provides an explanation.

"Just released a VI into the docking station's security cam footage, just to erase any visual evidence of you boarding this ship. The VI will also seek out and locate the docking records and replace the name and ident-codes I provided with a different name and a different ident-code. According to Nos Astra docking records, a volus trading vessel by the name of 'Alahya' was docked at this tube at this time." He finishes briskly.

"Huh. Impressive."

"Indeed. If you'll follow me, I'll show you to your quarters."

Shepard enters the ship and continues to follow Dax. The inside is surprisingly spacious, given its small appearance on the outside. A few terminals are processing data drops for what Shepard assumes is this current assignment. A few crewmembers are chatting, coffee in hand, not even glancing in her direction.

"How many crew on board?"

"I have a crew of seven." Comes the short reply. _Liara was not wrong. He is not at all chatty. We'll get along just great._

They proceed down a small corridor that cuts back behind the bridge, and floor to ceiling glass panes to her left provide a view of an older, but still functional, Kodiak shuttle resting on its docking clamps.

"I did not expect this ship to have space for that." Shepard remarks.

"It's necessary for my line of work. I had the storage bay retrofitted to allow the space. The Broker has also outfitted this particular Kodiak with stealth technology."

"Sounds good to me." She replies, and is amazed at the extent of the Broker's reach. Up until going to the Citadel two years ago, she'd never heard of the Shadow Broker, and it wasn't until now that she realized the breadth of the Broker's – her lovers – operations. _And Liara is managing all of this? Shit, I thought my paperwork was a pain in the ass._

Finally reaching the end of the ship, Dax points to a solid metal door that Shepard assumes is her temporary home. Nodding to one another, they part ways. She opens the door, and walks into the small living space. A bed, a sink, and a small toilet all occupy a fifteen by fifteen foot area. _Huh. Very prison-cell-esque. Dax certainly doesn't lack in decorating skills._

Shepard is about to throw her duffle on the bed when she notices that it is currently occupied by a large black box. Dropping the duffle onto the floor, she walks up and notices a small piece of paper taped to the top. Opening up the note, she quickly reads through, a smile spreading across her face.

 _Cora,_

 _I know you were dreadfully underprepared when arriving on Illium. Given your normal preparedness, I thought it was bizarre, but I quickly understood why. In any event, I have gotten you a gift I suspect you will get much use out of, as well as a few toys._

 _Come back safely to me._

 _Liara._

Opening the box, Shepard removes the protective foam covering the contents inside, and her heart skips a beat. Inside, is a jet-black, Rosenkov Materials suit of armour. And it is beautiful. It's lightweight and coated with a protective shielding paste that deflects most projectiles even as close as ten feet. The kinetic barrier system installed is top of the line, and the material used doesn't reflect light, so in low or dark light, she is almost invisible. It's the most stunning set of armour Shepard has ever owned. It's missing the splashes of red she is used to, but she does however understand the tactical advantage. _No good running through a secret base with a blood red stripe down my right arm and N7 showing on my chest._

Lifting up the armour and placing it aside piece by piece, she lifts up the tray the armour was cradled in. Nestled inside, is a brand new M-8 Avenger assault rifle, and neatly tucked beside it is an M-6 Carnifex. Checking to make sure the safety is on, she picks up the Avenger, and feels her heart swell with love. Outdated and certainly old school, Shepard nonetheless has a soft spot for this gun. Then the realization that the armour alone must have cost Liara a pretty penny sinks in, and she can't help but feel extremely lucky. More importantly, extremely loved. With plans to go back to the Alliance, and a beautiful woman, Shepard allows herself a brief moment to hope. A single moment to contemplate the what-ifs, and the path her life could take in the immediate future.

Shepard feels the sudden shift of the ship as the engines are engaged, and Dax's voice comes over the ship wide comm requesting completion of pre-flight checks, and that take-off will be in 5 minutes.

 _Just a few Mass Relay jumps, a few dead Batarians, and one rescued operative, and I'll be coming back to you, safe and sound._


	11. Thunder Rolls

** **Message flagged as secure. Established sub-routine to divert all incoming messages from [SENDER BLOCKED] to private inbox as per your request, Shadow Broker****

To: [BLOCKED]  
From: [SENDER BLOCKED]

You know, I love you. I really do. But why, in every gods name, did you put me on the most boring ship ever. Of course, the ship itself isn't boring. But fuck, the crew? I'm pretty sure they're all just elcor disguised as humans.

Dax isn't bad. Like you said, he's quiet. He doesn't say much, unless it's to dole out orders.

We just made the jump from the Eagle Nebula to the Serpent Nebula. We're stopping at the Citadel for supplies but I'm going to stay in my cabin. I don't need anything crazy happening, or to have someone recognize me. 90% of the galaxy still thinks I'm dead, so I might as well try and keep it that way.

I thought the break from constantly doing something would be nice, but I feel like I'm going insane. I can't even test out the new guns you got me. I thought Dax was going to explode when he saw my Avenger. I take it he doesn't like a crazy biotic with a gun running around his ship.

I was just going for a jog, I promise.

I love you.

* * *

To: [SENDER BLOCKED]  
From: [BLOCKED]

Just to clarify, you were going for a jog around Dax's ship with your gun?

I agree with your decision to stay in your cabin. From what I can see here, there's some unrest going on at the Citadel. The broker I hired to sell my apartment apparently has some friends in high places, and word has started to get around in earnest that you're alive. Cerberus operatives are claiming you're still with them, Alliance officials are remaining quiet, and the Council is just outright refusing to talk about it. The general public is being divided into two sides: One demanding to know where you've been and what scandal caused you to fake your death. The other siding with you whole-heartedly, stating that that even a hero needs a vacation. Unfortunately, one group vastly outnumbers the other. I'm sure you can determine which.

I love you too. Please let me know once you've reached the Viper Nebula.

* * *

To: [BLOCKED]  
From: [SENDER BLOCKED]

No, to clarify: I was taking my gun out for a run. Big difference. I need to make sure the weight is right, that the reload doesn't cause the heat sink to stick. I've modded it as well to fire incendiary ammo. I think that's what scared Dax.

No one on that damn space station seems to remember who saved their ungrateful asses two years ago. The same goes for the Council. I literally held their lives in the palm of my hand, and chose to save them. And the thanks I get for that is a token reinstatement of my Spectre status, and a whole lot of bullshit about how 'Reapers' don't actually exist. I should've just let their fucking ship getting taken out by geth.

Fuck the Council. And fuck Cerberus too. Their only angle is to stir the pot, and they're doing a marvelous job with it.

We'll be at the Viper Nebula in approximately three hours.

* * *

To: C. Shepard  
From: M. Lawson  
Subject: Repairs at 50%

Shepard,

As of half an hour ago, the repairs on the Normandy are at 50% completion. Shielding is nearly there, sensors (both combat and some relating to EDI's cyberwarfare suite) are at 100%, and the burn-out caused by firing the main guns in quick succession is the current focus. The crew Aria has assigned are mostly Batarian and Turian, and the crew leads are ensuring everything is going off without a hitch. I'm not sure what you did to get into Aria's good books, but it must have been huge.

I have received word from all but Jack in terms of where they are going once repairs are complete.

Tali'Zorah vas Normandy: already stationed with the Migrant Fleet  
Garrus Vakarian: requested leave to Palaven  
Thane Krios: requested leave to the Citadel  
Grunt: requested leave to Tuchanka  
Samara: requested leave to Thessia  
Kasumi Goto: requested leave to the Citadel  
Jacob Taylor: requested leave to Earth  
Zaeed Massani: remaining on Omega  
Mordin Solus: remaining on Omega  
Legion: returning to geth space

Shepard, I have decided to remain on Omega for the time being. I doubt the Alliance would look fondly on a formerly high-ranking Cerberus official showing up with you, and the Illusive Man will have agents out looking for me shortly. Omega is a good place to hide for now.

I just want you to know what it's meant for me to have been a part of your crew over the past few months. Of course, I have the privilege of being able to say I've known you longer, but you were unconscious, so it hardly seems fair.

I'll let you know once repairs are complete.

M.

* * *

To: M. Lawson  
From: C. Shepard  
Subject: Re: Repairs at 50%

Miri,

You're welcome. I couldn't have functioned properly over the last few months without you. Hell, I wouldn't be functioning at all if it weren't for you. So thank you.

All leaves granted.

Shepard.

* * *

"Crew, prepare for final jump into Batarian space, ETA 10 minutes. Once we are through the relay, we will be going dark. Please ensure all comms are switched off. Higgins, please prep drop shuttle. Dax out."

* * *

To: [BLOCKED]  
From: [SENDER BLOCKED]

Li,

We are just about to jump to the Viper Nebula. Once I've completed the extraction, I'll send you a message.

I love you.

Cora


	12. Gravemakers & Gunslingers

A/N: ****This chapter contains dialogue and themes of non-consensual sex. Reader discretion is advised.****

* * *

The shuttle drops Shepard off on a rainy, hot Aratoht. The humidity is unlike anything she has experienced. _ICT training in South America was bad, but this is brutal._ She immediately takes cover as the shuttle flies off, waiting for any alarms to sound at the sudden intrusion. A few tense seconds pass, but after a moment it becomes apparent that no alarm has been sounded. Grabbing her Avenger, and disabling the safety, she quietly moves to the visible door of the compound.

Her interface alerts her to the fact that opening the door the conventional way would be fruitless, as it requires an access code. It does, however, provide a helpful solution in the form of a power relay which Shepard makes short work of.

Entering into the facility presents an entirely new set of challenges. The smell that assaults her nose is offensive. Rotting meat, burnt flesh, and the overwhelming scent of urine and feces momentarily takes her aback. Concrete walls are in serious disrepair, with chunks of the wall littering the floor.

"Even for a prison, this is bad. But I guess batarians aren't exactly the model of decency." She remarks quietly to herself. Even though she has spent most of her time since Torfan cultivating a more positive perception of herself, she still has a deep-seated disgust when it comes to batarians. The acts she witnessed were unforgiveable, and if she had to be labelled as the Butcher for ridding the galaxy of some of the sickest individuals out there, so be it. The fact that she was now in another situation where batarians were able to exploit the weakness of yet another human, just solidified it further in her mind that the batarians running this prison were better off dead, and Kenson needed to be rescued, now.

Moving through the corridor, Shepard notes two heat signals being relayed through her sensor. _Varren. Fantastic._ Rounding a corner, she hears one growl, and knows it has most likely picked up her scent. Moving quickly, she ships her rifle and pulls a combat knife from its holder on her thigh. She waits patiently for it to move closer. Just as it comes into view, Shepard expends her biotic energy to charge into it. The charge sends it flying backwards, and before it has a chance to stand, she is on top it, burying her knife deep into its skull. Blood oozes out of the puncture wound, and within seconds the varren stops twitching and lies still. Wiping the blade off on the varren's skin, she continues down the hall. The other varren is still on her sensors, but still far enough away to not pose an immediate threat.

Dirty walls and prison cells make up the path she follows to the next level. Bodies of dead varren and presumably dead prisoners litter the area, no attempt having been made to remove them. Flies and maggots are free to do as they please, and Shepard lights up her omni-tool, administering a dose of anti-pathogen into her system. The stench makes her eyes water, and she quickly moves in the direction of the other heat signature.

Anticipating the same level of awareness from this varren, Shepard waits for it walk farther head of her before she makes her move. This varren though is far more perceptive. She hears it stop moving, and after a few seconds, leans slightly out of cover. The varren spots her and lunges, clearing the gap between them. Its vicious looking jaw clamps down on her left arm. The armour is resistant, although the weight of the beast causes Shepard to fall slightly in the direction the varren is pulling. Using this to her advantage, she follows through with her right arm, blade poised under the varren's chest. The blade sinks in, and the varren instinctively releases its hold on her arm, and redirects its attention to biting at the source of the pain. Leaving the blade where it is, Shepard lets go, grabs her Carnifex, and administers one bullet to the varren's head.

Crouching beside the now dead varren, Shepard withdraws the blade and works to calm her breathing. _Fuck. So much for my plan of no gun-play. I really fucking hope that didn't just alert the entire fucking base._ Shepard checks her shielding, but even after the bite, it's still holding strong. She patiently waits for heat blips to show on her sensors, or alarms to start blaring, but still nothing happens. Then, two contacts show on her visor, closing in on her right. Still a good 30 feet away, her visor shows that only one is armed. She currently has the advantage of being behind a concrete wall, and she knows that unless they walked up beside her, she wouldn't be seen. Calling up an area map that her suits VI loaded into her omni-tool upon approach, Shepard realizes that they are approaching through a corridor, and there is a door straight ahead of them.

Shepard lowers herself down, and waits. _Only one is armed, so it isn't a response team. Coincidence then that they are heading in this direction. No prisoners down here. Well, live ones at least. So what are they coming through for?_

She hears the metallic clang of the door being opened, and voices carry through to where she's hiding.

"No, please. Please don't put me down here!" a female voice pleads.

"Shut up. I told you there would be consequences to not listening. So you're gonna go down here and stay with the varren for a bit. Maybe if they haven't torn you apart when I come back, we'll bring you back up for some more fun."

Shepard hears the sound of a hand contacting with what she assumes is the females face, and a loud cry as the girl is tossed down the stairs. The batarian laughs, and slams the door shut. One heat signature showing on her sensor moves away in the direction they had originally come from.

 _Fuck._

Shepard can hear the whimpering of the girl, and when she's sure that the batarian isn't going to change his mind and come back, she begins to approach the prisoner. Sliding along the concrete wall, she peeks around the corner to take in the situation. The human girl can't be more than 19. Blonde hair caked to her head, dirty and tangled. Her face is masked with pain, and there are bruises littered across her cheeks and eyes. She's clutching her right arm to her chest, no doubt an injury caused by being tossed down the stairs. The 'clothes' she is wearing consist of what was probably once a t-shirt, but now is a disgusting mess of dirt, blood, and other stains that make Shepard's heart lurch for her.

Tentatively, Shepard crouches down in order to make herself less imposing, and gently starts to come around the corner.

"Hey…" she whispers, trying to draw the girl's attention. She jumps at the sound, and screaming, backs towards the stairs; her dirty feet scrambling to find purchase on the hard floor, her movement hampered by her injured arm.

"Hey, it's ok. I'm not going to hurt you." The girl's face is filthy, and Shepard can clearly see track marks where tears have been flowing down her face. Her thin arms and legs show more bruises, her wrists have bright red welts that suggest she has been restrained, and fresh blood on the girls thighs indicate that she might actually be better off down here. Shepard fights down an almost uncontrollable fury at seeing the girl in this state.

"My name is Commander Shepard, and I'm here to help." She says soothingly. Shepard still hasn't moved, and won't attempt an approach until she knows the girl will allow it. Checking her sensors, Shepard doesn't notice any other heat signatures.

The girl stares at Shepard, fear evident in her eyes, and her chest rising and falling rapidly. Shepard can tell that if she isn't already, she soon will be going into shock. Recognition, of her name or just the hope of safety, finally dawns on the girls face.

"Please… you have to help me." She pleads, fresh tears starting to fall. "I can't go back up there. I can't." A heart-wrenching sob is torn from the girls throat, and she breaks down, her body shaking. Shepard remains crouching, but slowly starts to approach, quietly whispering words of comfort to let the girl know where she is. _Comforting words won't do shit right now. Ripping the heads of some batarians might make us both feel a little better though._

Shepard finally gets within arms reach of the girl, and lights up her omni-tool in order to provide medi-gel. The girl watches Shepard approach, and as the omni-tool comes on, her eyes move up to Shepard's.

"What are you doing?"

 _In general, or right now?_ "I'm going to apply some medi-gel. Your arm is broken, and you have multiple wounds and contusions that are going to get worse without treatment." Shepard responds. The understanding is present at the front of her mind, that medi-gel won't do anything. All it will do is prolong the inevitable. But she isn't sure what else to do.

"Don't. Please. I don't want you to fix me. I want you to kill me."

Shepard stares at her in momentary horror. She looks into the girls face, seeing a complete resignation. This girl has already been through hell. She isn't scared of dying.

"Please. You killing me would be the best thing you can do for me. If you fix me, they'll come back. They always do. I've been down here three times. They'll come back, tie my hands up again, and take me into my cell." There's no emotion left, she's completely void of it. There's no anger, no self-pity. Just a matter-of-fact tone that makes Shepard want to tear apart everything in sight.

"They'll tie me up again and beat me. They like to use a metal pole, but sometimes they use their hands." The girl says, but Shepard knows she isn't talking to her. The girl is looking into Shepard's eyes, but the stare is vacant, her mind withdrawing in order to protect itself. "Then three more of them will come in. And they'll start to undo their pants while they laugh and threaten to use the metal pole instead if I don't behave." The girl is rocking gently now, and Shepard closes her eyes and breathes deeply, willing the girl to stop. Her eyes snap open when the girl reaches out and touches Shepard's face. Her eyes suddenly focus, and the intense blue of them shakes Shepard's resolve.

"Please. Kill me."

Shepard looks into the girls face, and slowly nods. She places her left hand at the back of the girls neck, and slowly brings her head to rest on her armoured chest. Her right hand brings the Carnifex to the girls' breast, and pressing into the flesh above her heart, Shepard fires as tears of sheer rage spill down her cheeks.

* * *

 _Enough._

Shepard sets a marker on her omni-tool, where the VI indicates the biometrics of Kenson are, and begins to follow the path determined by her visor. No longer caring about stealth, Shepard has her Avenger nestled against her shoulder, her panther-like steps propelling her forward in the direction the batarian had come with the girl. Her visor chirps a warning, and displays three heat signals 40 feet in front of her, in what appears to be a mess hall. Closing in on their position, she hears the three of them talking.

"… interrogating a human is a waste of time. It'd be easier just to kill her."

"And deprive the captain of his fun? Yeah, right. He already had to put one of his girls, the blonde one, down with the beasts. I guess she told him 'no'."

"That's too bad. I liked that one."

 _Fuck. You._

Targeting the batarian in the middle, Shepard unleashes her biotics, and charges full force into his back. The biotics ripple outwards, sending the other two staggering backwards. The targeted batarian staggers forward, his shielding deflecting some of the blow, but before he can regain his footing, Shepard releases almost a full clip square into his back. At such close range, his shields and armour don't stand a chance, and the incendiary ammo quickly causes him to catch fire. With one dispatched, and the two flanking her regaining their senses, she sends a pull field out to the one on her left, grabbing him and bringing him flying towards her as he shouts in surprise. Taking a calculated step back, she releases the field and he crashes into the batarian on her right, sending them both into a concrete pillar. Turning to face them, Shepard once again charges, allowing the propelling force of her biotics to slam into one of them. She turns slightly at the last second, and using her armoured shoulder, she catches one batarian in the throat and hears a sickening crunch as his windpipe is crushed under the combined force of her biotics and her body weight. At the same time as her shoulder makes contact, her Avenger is firing a round into the other batarian slouched on the ground.

Three batarians lay dead in a matter of 30 seconds. Her sensors show four batarians directly en route to Kenson.

A wicked grin spreads across Shepard's face.

"Better hide, fuckers. The Butcher is coming for you."


	13. Comedown Champion

A/N: To those of you who have kept reading this far, I just want to say thank you. When I first started uploading this story, I didn't anticipate a lot of readers; I was just writing for the sake of a creative outlet. But apparently people are reading the stuff I'm putting up here, and a few of you have even made it a 'favourite'. That makes my heart happy. So thank you.

Anyways, on to chaos!

* * *

Green eyes blaze with fury, and blue flames follow the chaotic path Shepard burns through the prison. Attacking the four guards in the hallway causes the facility alarm to finally sound. The batarians are caught completely off-guard. Not a single one is able to get a fast enough look at the force of nature charging through their ranks, and if they are able to catch a glimpse, they don't live long enough to tell anyone about it.

Guard after guard is decimated. One is lucky enough to find cover before Shepard has a chance to fill him with bullets, however the vanguard isn't about to let him cower. Shepard throws a shockwave to dislodge the terrified batarian from cover, and once she lays eyes on him, his fate is sealed. Laughing at just how ridiculously easy this is, she dispatches a pull field, and he helplessly bounces along the floor towards his death. Shepard charges at him, the combined power of two active biotic attacks exploding the air itself, sending pieces of the batarian across the floor.

Shepard continues down the path the VI has set for her, and notices with some disappointment that there aren't any more attackers.

She stops in the middle of what appears to be the viewing part of an interrogation room, and looking to her left through a double-sided mirror, she sees Kenson detained in some kind of torture device, with a batarian standing directly in front of her. Proceeding down the hallway and taking a left, she comes up to an open door, and standing behind the batarian, she weighs her options. _Charging him will push him into Kenson. I could pull him and drive my elbow into his face when he comes closer. Or I could shoot the shit out of him. I'd need to move him to a different location first so I don't risk friendly fire. Maybe pull would be the best option…_

Before she has a chance to follow through, the batarian is speaking.

"Please, I know you're behind me. Don't shoot me."

"Don't move." Shepard growls as he attempts to turn around. "Doctor Kenson, are you all right?"

"Shepard? Hackett must have gotten my message!"

 _Fuck. Seriously?_

At the mention of her name, the batarian freezes.

"So, that's who's been tearing through my base. It makes sense now, considering how many lives have been lost. Tell me, Butcher, were a few of them running away from you when you shot them in the back, or were they just on their knees pleading for mercy?"

Shepard clenches her jaw at the taunt, but doesn't reply. _He's just trying to get me to do something rash._

"I take it you're the captain?"

"That would be the correct assumption, yes. And up until half an hour ago, I had a full compliment of guards. You know, most of them had families that they were looking forward to seeing again." The captain goads, trying a different angle in order to provoke Shepard.

"Just get the fuck away from her. My patience is running real thin right now, and I just want to get the fuck out of this miserable shit hole."

"I'm not letting this woman go. She is a prisoner of the Hegemony, accused of attempting to obliterate our system. I have full legal rights to hold her and interrogate her. You showing up and causing this chaos, on the order of an Alliance Admiral no less, is simply grounds for war."

Shepard knows he isn't wrong. If roles were reversed, and a human was doing the interrogating, then they would have legal backing. Crimes against humanity are taken seriously. This man is just doing his job, albeit in circumstances foreign and disgusting to Shepard. And as much as she hates it, even slavery is legal here. That girl was legal property of this batarian, and he could do as he sees fit. It didn't make it right, but it was legal. But now Shepard was in an interesting position. Letting him live meant exactly as he said; war with humanity. The already war-hungry batarians wouldn't hesitate to move in once this captain relayed what had happened. Killing him would prevent that, but she would be killing an unarmed man doing his job at the behest of his superiors.

 _If the batarians go to war with us, our already slim chance against the Reapers will be reduced to nil. If I don't kill him, I'm dooming my species, as well as every other one we will no longer be able to support if we are fighting two fronts. But if I do kill him, it will be murder, and then I'll have that on my conscience._

 _My conscience is expendable. Humanity is not._

"You're holding and interrogating an Alliance representative. A member of the Alliance military cannot be held or interrogated by another race unless first remanded to Alliance custody. Following an Alliance tribunal, the defendant may then be extradited to face prosecution. So, I think you're actually the one declaring war here."

The batarian doesn't respond, and Shepard puts the muzzle of her gun against his back. "Now move the fuck out of the way."

Sliding him to the side in order to get a clear path to Kenson, Shepard keeps her gun trained on him as she helps Kenson out of the shackles. Once freed, she pushes the operative behind her.

"You can't do this! You can't just shoot me in the back! Someone will find out what you've done here!" the batarian captain exclaims, fear trickling into his voice.

"Turn around."

The captain does as he's requested, and hanging from a loop close to his right pocket is a metal tube. Shepard shudders once she notices it. Pushing the gun to his chest, Shepard backs him against the wall. She reaches down and snaps the metal tube off of the belt loop.

"Y'know, we have a thing called karma back on Earth. A couple different religions believe in it. Some others call it fate, and others destiny. The basic principle is that you reap what you sow. You beat and mentally destroyed a young girl, and she probably wasn't the first. They couldn't fight back, but I can."

Shepard returns her assault rifle to its position on her back, and the captain's face shows an immediate awareness as to what her action will be. He begins begging for his life as Shepard starts to glow blue with biotic energy. Gripping the metal rod in one hand, she uses her biotics to provide more force, and impales the rod deep into the batarians' stomach.

Stepping back and watching as he falls to the floor with a throaty gurgle, she turns back to Kenson, expecting to need to do some damage control. Instead, she finds Kenson watching with appreciation. Walking up to the batarian, Kenson lifts her foot, and brings it down on his throat with a crunch.

"Ready, Commander."

* * *

Shepard and Kenson make their way through the base towards the hangar bay. With the majority of the guards dead, they encounter little resistance. Shepard can feel a headache starting to form at the back of her skull, and knows that she'll need to get some electrolytes into her soon. Comedown from combat was one thing, but a biotic comedown was another altogether.

They make it to the hangar bay without saying much to each other, and Shepard is thankful for that. Kenson's slip-up in mentioning her name in front of the batarian hadn't done much to improve her mood. _For a deep cover operative, that was a pretty green move to make._ Once the batarian had been killed, Kenson had gone back into the viewing room to erase and destroy any recorded footage, ensuring that when batarian teams come through to establish what happened, there would be no visual or audio evidence of Shepard having been here.

Boarding the shuttle, Kenson assumes the pilot seat, and Shepard sits for the first time in what feels like days. Her suit, now registering a lower heart rate, automatically begins to run a stabilizing treatment in order to mitigate some of the effects of the comedown. Grabbing an electrolyte pack out of the pouch on her belt, Shepard begins to relax.

Once clearing atmosphere, Kenson returns to the back of the shuttle.

"I've engaged the auto-pilot. We should be well out of range before they get their security systems unscrambled."

"Do you think they'll come after you?" Shepard asks, finishing her electrolyte pack.

"I'm not taking any chances. Batarians don't take kindly to humans who plan to destroy their mass relay."

"So the charges against you are true?"

"Well, to be fair, that's about half the story. My people and I were here investigating rumours of Reaper technology out in the fringes of this system."

"And I guess you found something."

"We found proof that the Reapers will be arriving in this system. When they get here, they'll use its mass relay to travel throughout the galaxy. We call it the Alpha Relay. From here, the Reapers can invade from anywhere in the galaxy."

"So you decided to destroy the relay. How're you going to do that with an asteroid?"

"Moving an asteroid just requires thrust and guidance. With the right equipment, and a good VI to drive it, you can pretty much just point and shoot."

"Assuming it even works. I've always heard that mass relays are indestructible." Shepard responds sceptically.

"I've heard that too. I think it's more that nobody's willing to find out what happens when one is destroyed."

"Destroying a mass relay is pretty drastic. It will effectively cut off all traffic coming in and out of this system. It'll also be damning everyone in here when the Reapers do show up, not to mention the explosion that destroying it could create. Do you really think it will destroy the whole system?"

"Mass relays are the most powerful mass effect engines in the known galaxy. The energy released from a relays destruction would probably resemble a supernova. This is a remote system, but just over 300,000 live on the colony where they held us. The explosion would undoubtedly kill them all."

Shepard stared at Kenson, running through what she had just told her. 300,000 batarians dead, leaving the remaining population with no chance of help when the Reapers arrived. _Can I really let this happen? She can't possibly think this is the best course of action, given that they're just investigating rumours._

"Ok, listen, I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around a justifiable reason to wipe out an entire civilization. Kenson, I thought that you were just investigating rumours. What the hell have you found?"

"We've found an artifact on an asteroid. We call it Object Rho." Kenson replies, and Shepard sees a flash of something in Kenson's eyes. Pride, maybe respect.

"So how does one artifact give you proof of an imminent Reaper invasion?" Shepard feels an uncomfortable weight settle in the pit of her stomach. _Something's off._

"It showed me visions of the Reapers' arrival, much like your Prothean beacon I imagine. The Reapers are coming, Commander. That much I know."

"How are you avoiding indoctrination? If you're working right beside the damn thing, you must have it shielded, right?" _What the hell is this woman thinking?_

"We've been very careful. We know what we're dealing with. You're not speaking to a child, Shepard." Kenson replies, indignation evident in her voice.

"This is insane. If you're willing to destroy a whole system over this, I want to see your proof." Shepard demands.

"Of course, Commander. We will be at Project Base soon, and I will let them know we are on our way. Just sit back, and relax." Kenson replies with a smile.

Shepard watches Kenson move back to the pilot seat, and hears her talking in whispered tones to someone through her comm.

 _This had better be worth it._

* * *

To: [BLOCKED]  
From: [SENDER BLOCKED]

Extraction complete. Heading to project base to deliver operative.

Something is fucking off, Li. I can feel it.

Can you send Dax to the co-ordinates attached please? I just want to get the hell out of here.

Shepard.


	14. Exile Vilify

The shuttle finally arrives at project base a good hour after leaving the prison on Aratoht. Her suit has done wonders to ease the adrenaline comedown, but Shepard still feels an achy nagging at the base of her skull. _Almost done. Then I can get the fuck out of this system._

Doctor Kenson exits the shuttle, and as Shepard is about to follow, she sees a giant timer being displayed above the door.

"What's this?" she asks, pointing to the countdown.

"That's the countdown to arrival. When that gets to zero… the Reapers will have come." Shepard glances over and sees Kenson smiling. Looking back at the clock, a cold dread fills her.

"So you're saying that the Reapers will be here in two days? How do you know that's an accurate countdown?"

"It is." Kenson replies. "The artifact has been giving off pulses at definite intervals since we found it. The intervals have been decreasing at a steady rate. The artifact is reacting to the Reapers' proximity. In just over forty-eight hours, the pulses will become constant, and the Reapers will be here." She finishes, and the lack of fear in her voice makes Shepard's hair stand on end. _There is something seriously wrong here. I know I've been right all this time, and I know the Reapers are coming. But I'm sure as hell not happy about it._

"You're saying the Reapers will be here in two days. There's no time to waste."

"Then let's show you that proof. If you'll follow me, Commander."

Shepard follows Kenson through the maze that is project base. There were a few people walking around, carrying what looked like documents or samples, but for the most part, no one was doing anything. They were all just standing around. A few sideways glances were thrown in her direction, but no one said anything to either of them. Something still felt off about this place. Her headache was getting worse as well. _I swear, if I picked up some kind of disease from that prison, I'm going to be pissed._

"Doctor, I know you said you were just one button press away from activating the project before you were arrested, but are there any alternatives here? I don't know how keen I am on wiping out over three hundred thousand people."

"Commander, the Alpha Relay is the first step in entering the entire galaxy. If the Reapers make it through, they will be at Earth next, followed swiftly by every other system. It's an unfortunate reality, but the loss of three hundred thousand means the survival of billions. There are no other alternatives." Kenson replies with a clipped tone.

There was no way to refute the logic. Shepard understood the reality of situations like this, and she has made similar calls in the past. But regardless, she was still human. And that meant that tough decisions left a mark on her psyche. It added a brick to the ever-growing burden left on her conscience.

Lost as she was in her inner turmoil, she hadn't noticed that Kenson had stopped. She was standing beside a door, a peculiar smile on her face.

"Are you ready?"

Shepard nodded, and Kenson opened the door.

As it slid open, Shepard was bathed in a blue light that was emanating from an enormous artifact. Alien in its design, with blue lines stretching through each branch, it was emitting a low hum. Shepard felt instantly nauseous.

"Commander Shepard, I give you Object Rho."

"You have a Reaper artifact, just sitting here out in the open?"

Kenson stood beside her, arms crossed in front of her chest, just looking at the artifact. Shepard clearly saw admiration on her face. _What the fuck is going on here._

"When we found it, it showed me a vision of the Reapers' arrival."

"Kenson. This is not good. You need to have this thing shielded."

"Give it a moment, Shepard. It'll give you the proof that you need." Kenson replied, disregarding Shepard's statement.

Alarm bells started going off in Shepard's head. There was no way Kenson and her team would not be indoctrinated after working in such close proximity to this artifact. Shepard's gut was telling her to leave, and fast.

Before she had a chance to move, a pulse shocked outwards from the artifact, and blue light washed over Shepard. It possessed enough force to knock her back, and in a split second, she was witnessing Reapers travelling through a mass relay. The vision was quickly over, and Shepard felt a pounding in her head so fierce she was sure she would black out. Her suit started transmitting warning signals that her heart rate was exceeding safe levels as she slowly started to fall to her hands and knees. Fighting the urge to vomit from the sudden spike in her adrenaline, she looked up to see Kenson holding a gun to her head.

 _Fucking fantastic._

"I can't let you start the project, Shepard. I can't let you stop the arrival."

Shepard could hear her speaking, but it was muffled, as though Kenson was talking to her through water. Another wave of nausea hits her, and her head threatens to split open. Trying to stand up nets her nothing, and she falls back to her hands. Glancing up to the left, Shepard notices that Kenson isn't paying attention to her anymore. _We've only got one chance here Shep, so get your ass up._

Shepard swings out with her left hand and grabs Kenson's wrist, twisting it viciously. It causes her to drop the gun, and as bullets fly past Shepard's head, she drops to cover again. She watches as Kenson quickly walks out of the room, shouting at her guards to take Shepard down.

 _Well, this has just gone to hell in a hand basket. I am way too tired for this._

Disengaging her assault rifle from her back, Shepard gets to work.

The first few guards are easy enough to take out, her Avenger and incendiary ammo making quick work of them. But Shepard soon realizes that Kenson's team is much smarter, and has much better funding that the batarian guards did. Soon, she has flash bang grenades flushing her from cover, as well as engineers throwing all manner of tech attacks in her direction. With each shockwave and pull attack that she unleashes, her headache pounds harder. The artifact itself isn't helping; each time one of the pulses occur, Shepard is hit with more nausea and a headache so bad it makes her eyes blur. She can also hear the voice of Harbinger with each pulse. Its voice echoes through her mind, promising to spare her if she gives herself up.

"You know what Harbinger? I'm getting real tired of your bullshit." She yells as empties a clip into an engineer.

Pyros soon start coming in to join the rabble, and Shepard runs across to a raised section of the room. With her back covered, and a clear view of the battlefield, all she can do is hope that the cavalry runs dry before her biotics do. Throwing a shockwave into the mix just as a pulse is sent out causes Shepard to lose focus, and she takes a shot in the side. Her visor informs her that shields have dropped to 65%, and that a cocktail of various pain meds and medi-gel have been released. Her visor also informs her that there are approximately fifteen armed guards in the room with her, and about twenty on the other side of a door to the left.

As Shepard crouches behind cover, watching as enemies spill out from the door and the balcony above, she momentarily wonders if she'll make it out. _I'm exhausted. There are thirty-five hostiles closing in on my location, and if that pulse goes one more time I'm going to pass out. There's barely any ammo up here, and if I'm reading it right, that's a YMIR mech on the other side of the door that will finish me off if these goons don't._

 _Well. Go big or go home._

Shepard inserts a new thermal clip, and pushes herself to keep going. Another wave of guards comes in, including the YMIR mech. Just as Shepard leans out of cover to unload on a pyro, a final, massive pulse shockwaves outwards from the artifact, and the voice of Harbinger echoes once again.

 **You will be the first to witness our arrival.**

Brought to her knees, Shepard finally blacks out.


	15. Dead End Countdown

To: [RECIPIENT BLOCKED]  
From: [BLOCKED]

Shepard,

What is going on down there? I just got word back from Dax that he and his crew took fire and barely made it off that asteroid. They were granted a landing pad, but then five minutes later they had heavy weapons turned on them. I can't risk sending them back. Could you please give me a status update?  
_

To: [RECIPIENT BLOCKED]  
From: [BLOCKED]

Shepard, I'm getting worried. It's been almost twelve hours since you told me you were heading to the project base. Dax has been monitoring the base from orbit, and is telling me that no ships have come or gone.

I am going to be sending in a team if I don't hear from you within the next six hours. I've also informed the Normandy that something is not right. With no other officers on board, Doctor Chakwas and Joker have taken temporary command of the ship. They're scheduled to leave Omega in thirty minutes, and I'm going to have them wait in the Petra Nebula until they hear from you.  
_

To: [RECIPIENT BLOCKED]  
From: [BLOCKED]

Cora. I'm not sure if you're getting these, but I need you to respond.

Please. Please respond.

It's been over twenty-four hours. I can't send a team in because the communications from Aratoht are serious. They are aware of the security breach, and have multiple ships guarding the relay.

Goddess, I hope you're alright.

* * *

 _Holy hell, does my head ever hurt. And where the hell am I laying? What the fuck happened?_

"… like Shepard was waking up a moment ago. But it could be a glitch in the system."

 _Who the hell is that. And why does this setting look familiar._

 _No. No no. Not again._

 _I need to sit up, now._

The scientist standing beside Shepard glances over as she sits up. A sharp pain shoots up Shepard's right side, but she shrugs it off and looks directly at the woman in the room.

"I'd stay right there if I were you."

"It's not a glitch, the sedatives aren't working! Security!" Just as the woman starts to run, Shepard grabs onto her with a pull field and brings her back, wrapping her arm around her throat.

"Let's try that again." Shepard whispers in the woman's ear. "I want you to listen to me. Tell me where my weapons and armour are, and maybe I'll let you live." She feels the scientist nod as she points to a weapons locker visible in the next room. Latching on to the scientists wrist, Shepard brings her arm behind her back and pulls upwards until the woman starts to whimper.

"Perfect. Thank you. Once I've gotten my gear, you're going to take me to the project control. Understood?"

"I… I don't have access. Please, I just work in these labs. The only ones with access to project control are Doctor Kenson and her assistant." The woman stammers. _Of course they're the only two._

Suddenly the alarms start to sound as it becomes clear to security that Shepard is free. Kenson's voice comes over the station wide comm.

"Shepard's escaped! All available personnel to the medical wing. Do not let her activate the project!"

Throwing the scientist out of the way, Shepard makes a beeline for her armour. Within minutes she's strapped in and just as she is about the load the map and have her VI get her out, she glances up and sees the countdown.

 _I've been out for two days? Son of a bitch, Liara is going to be pissed._

* * *

"Welcome aboard, Doctor T'Soni."

"Thank you, EDI. It's lovely to be here again." Liara responds to the AI's friendly greeting.

After not having heard from Shepard for over forty-eight hours, Liara has decided to join Joker on the Normandy in order to have a clearer view of the situation. Dax's reports were accurate, but knowing that something was seriously wrong, while she was on the other side of the galaxy, did not sit right with Liara. After recalling Dax and putting her shore team on standby, she had asked Doctor Chakwas and Joker to stop at Hagalaz after leaving Omega.

"Has there been any word?" Liara asks as she reaches Joker's chair. Chakwas is standing on the bridge as well, and greets Liara with an affectionate squeeze on her arm.

"How are you doing my dear?"

"I'm well, thank you. I'll be even better once we can locate Shepard."

"I've got EDI doing a scan of the system every ten seconds, but there's still nothing coming from it." Joker interrupts the greeting, eager to get back on track.

"We would have a clearer view of the base if we were able to enter the system, Doctor T'Soni." EDI advises.

"I know, EDI, but we can't risk being seen by the batarians. My information suggested that they have multiple ships blockading the relay."

"Right, but we have stealth technology Doc. They won't see us coming. Well, they'll see the relay light up, but they won't waste ammo firing at empty space. We'd be able to jump in and keep our asses out of the fire long enough to get into that asteroid belt."

"Jeff is correct. Our chances of getting close enough to the base without being detected by batarian ships exceed 98%."

Liara looks at Joker as he swivels around to face her. The look of pain on his face gives her pause, and she can tell he has probably slept as little as she has since she advised him that their Commander is MIA.

"I'm not doing this again, doc. And neither are you. I'm gonna jump through that relay, and we are going to be there to save her this time."

Liara smiles gently at Joker. "Understood."

"Great. Glad we have that cleared up. EDI, prep for relay jump please."

* * *

"Welcome to project control."

"I want to activate the project." Shepard informs the VI.

"Warning: Activating the project will result in an estimated three hundred and five thousand casualties. Do you wish to continue?"

 _Kenson was right, this is the only way to stop the Reapers from pouring into our backyard. I'm going to have to hit this button. God, I hope this is the right thing to do._

Shepard presses the button, and as the engines kick in, she stumbles backwards.

"Project activation in progress. Warning: Collision with mass relay is imminent. Begin evacuation procedures."

 _I have to at least warn them. I need to try and get some of these people out of this system._

"Alert: All colonists living in the Bahak system: This is…" before Shepard can finish, her comm line is cut, and Kenson appears on the screen in front of her.

"Shepard, no! Do you have any idea what you've done?"

 _I know exactly what I've done. And I'm going to carry it with me forever._

* * *

"EDI, what are the scans showing?"

"Scans of the base indicate it is active, but all communications are being actively blocked. We would be unable to send a message in, Doctor T'Soni."

Liara stands behind Joker's chair, looking at the asteroid through the view port. They had jumped into the system, and as expected, at least seven batarian ships stood guard at the relay. As soon as they had entered the Bahak system, the Normandy dove hard to port, and was able to get out of range within moments. Once EDI had informed them that they were not being targeted, Joker had proceeded towards the co-ordinates provided by Shepard.

"I have detected something of interest, however." EDI continues. "There appear to be thrust engines on this asteroid."

Liara pales at EDI's words. "Why would they have thrust engines on this asteroid?"

"It is difficult to theorize the exact reason, however the size of the engines, and the force they would produce, would be enough to move the asteroid. Calculating…" EDI pauses for a few seconds. "Doctor T'Soni, based off computational data and current gravitational path, if activated, these engines would be powerful enough to propel the asteroid towards the mass relay."

"Wait, what? Why would they want to crash an asteroid into a relay? Can they even be destroyed?" Joker asks, disbelief evident in his voice.

"Technically, relays can be destroyed. They are not invincible, Jeff." EDI responds, and Liara swears she can hear EDI smiling as if she were placating a child.

Before Joker or Liara have a chance to say anything, they watch as the asteroid starts to move in a way that is different from its previous rotation.

"Alert: Heat spikes emanating from the engines suggest they have been activated."

"Goddess…"

* * *

"Step away from the reactor."

"You've ruined everything! I can't hear the whispers anymore!" Kenson cries as Shepard closes in on her.

"Turn around. Now."

"You've taken them away from me! I will never see the Reapers arrival."

Shepard watches as Kenson pulls out a detonator from her pocket and stares Shepard down.

Without a second thought, Shepard shoots Kenson in the shoulder, causing her to slump down against the railing. As she falls, she presses the trigger. With a loud explosion, Shepard's world goes dark.

* * *

"EDI, talk to me. How long until that bad boy hits the relay?"

"My calculations suggest that impact with the relay will occur in 28 minutes."

"Damnit. Where is Shepard. EDI, scan again." Joker requests, panic starting to edge into his voice. Not that Liara can blame him. She's at the same level of panic herself.

"Joker, how long will it take us to reach the relay from this position?" she asks quietly, willing her voice not to tremble. Joker turns around and looks at her, frustration and sorrow written all over his face.

"I'm not giving up, Liara." He states vehemently.

"I'm not particularly keen on ordering the ship be turned around either, at least while we are not in danger." Chakwas provides.

"Jeff, that scan registered an attempted communication, however the communications system is heavily damaged. I was only able to retrieve a minor amount." EDI interjects.

"Play it."

"… this is…. Need a pi…. Now."

Liara's heart lurches. She'd know that voice anywhere, even through all the static.

"That's her, Joker. She's down there."

* * *

"Shepard to Normandy. Joker, do you read me?"

Before she can receive a confirmation, she feels a presence, and a voice echoes in her mind.

 **Shepard. You have become an annoyance. You fight against inevitability. Dust struggling against cosmic winds. This seems a victory to you, a star system sacrificed. But even now, your greatest civilizations are doomed to fall. Your leaders will beg to serve us.**

"Hey, I thought I told you I was done with your bullshit. You know what, I'm glad I've become an annoyance. Because that's what we will be, the entire step of the way. Maybe we won't win. But we will fight you, and we will sacrifice, and we will find a way to bring you down. So I dare you. Come and get us."

 **Your time will come. Your species will fall. Prepare yourselves for the arrival.**

* * *

"EDI, find me a landing zone on that thing. Do they have a launch pad somewhere?"

"They do. The base is registering evacuation protocols, and all of the shuttles have vacated the asteroid. However, I do have a single heat signature heading to a launch pad."

"… Shepard to Normandy. Joker, do you read me?" comes the sound of Shepard's voice. Liara finally exhales the breath she has been holding for what seems like hours. She can hear Chakwas exhale sharply beside her as well.

"Normandy to Shepard, this is Joker. We read you, Commander."

There's a tense moment without communication. Joker anxiously taps his knuckles against the chair, and Liara closes her eyes, waiting for the confirmation from her lover.

"What took you so fucking long?" comes the long awaited, and extremely sarcastic, reply through the comm channel. Liara almost falls with the pure relief she feels, and Joker actually starts laughing.

"Sorry Commander. Won't happen again, I promise."

"Better not. Come down and grab me, then get us the fuck out of here."


	16. The Noose

A/N: I always pictured the aftermath of Grunt's loyalty mission to involve a lot of ryncol. And boasting. And probably head-butting.

Anyways, just as a heads up, the chapter ends on kind of a lame note I feel. I split it up this way just to make the next chapter a bit more detailed. So if it feels incomplete, or like there should be more, it is and there is. I just need to divvy it up properly :)

* * *

Shepard leaps into the airlock, and as soon as the door closes, she can feel the Normandy bank hard to the side.

"One moment, Commander. I am currently re-pressurizing this space."

"Thanks, EDI. Tell me we'll make it to the relay before that asteroid does."

"At the current rate of speed, we will reach the relay with enough time to jump clear before the asteroid makes contact. Re-pressurization complete. Logged: The commanding officer is aboard. XO Chakwas is relieved, Commander Shepard has the deck."

The moment the air lock door is open, Shepard is flying to the cockpit, almost colliding with Liara.

"Liara. What are you doing here?" Shepard asks, the surprise in her voice evident.

"I thought I'd play the hero and rescue you for a change."

Liara can see Shepard's smile reach her eyes, but it's gone in a flash, replaced with the need to ensure they get out safely.

"Joker, talk to me."

"We are almost at the relay, Commander. Emitting jump codes now."

Shepard looks up through the view port and sees the relay looming large above them. Blue tendrils of electricity reach out and grasp the Normandy.

"Relay jump in 3…2…1…"

Holding on to the back of Joker's chair, Shepard feels the familiar pull as the relay shoots them into the neighbouring system.

"Relay jump complete." Joker advises as he visibly relaxes into his chair.

Once clear, Shepard runs to the galaxy map. Calling up the Viper nebula, she watches as rings ripple outwards from the image of the relay in the Bahak system, and moments later, it's gone. A red ring signifying the death of thousands of civilians.

* * *

Liara watches as Shepard runs to the galaxy map, relief washing over her. She can sense the exhaustion emanating from the woman. Her suit has taken a beating, and there was obvious pain in her brilliant green eyes. Liara had to resist the urge to put her hand on Shepard's arm as a way to offer comfort, but she had known that it was not the time or place. The look Shepard possessed was haunted.

"I'll be down in the medbay once Shepard is ready. She's going to need a few scans, but she'll still be some time I'm sure. Could you give her these electrolyte pills please Liara?" Chakwas asks, and upon receiving Liara's consent, heads towards the elevator.

Liara moves to stand beside Joker's chair and places a hand on his shoulder. He jumps slightly at the contact, and looks up at her.

"Thank you." Liara says

"Hey, don't thank me. Just doing my job. As far as rescues go, that just jumped to the top of the list, replacing 'Volcano Rescue' by a landslide."

Liara smiles. She knows Joker purposely misinterpreted the reason for the thanks, but she won't press it. It's as close to a 'you're welcome' as she'll get.

* * *

Shepard steps down from the galaxy map and heads in the direction of the armoury. Usually stripping off armour after a mission was a social event; she and her squad would burst into the armoury, either venting or bragging, depending on how the mission had gone. Post-Tuchanka had been the most memorable, for various reasons.

 _"_ _Next time we adopt a baby krogan, could we maybe opt to take him to a bar instead of fighting a giant thresher maw when he hits puberty?" Garrus said sarcastically, placing his beloved sniper rifle on the work bench._

 _"_ _Y'know, I don't think a visit to Tuchanka is considered a real visit unless you're almost eaten by something. At least it was a thresher maw and not Wrex." Shepard rejoined, looking at her helmet in disgust. "Although I don't think Wrex spits acid at you. This shit smells awful."_

 _"_ _I can't smell it anymore, although now I'm not surprised why the path from the shuttle bay to here was completely empty of other people."_

 _"_ _You think it was the smell, Garrus?" Shepard replied playfully, throwing him a towel._

 _"_ _Hey, some women find facial scars attractive."_

 _"_ _Wait a minute, where is our baby krogan?"_

 _Shepard throws her helmet onto a work bench, and walks towards the CIC. She can hear his voice before even reaching the door._

 _"_ _It was a mighty battle, you should have been there! The thresher maw was huge! We fought a great battle today. I am proud to be a part of this clan. Do you want to see my new battle scars?" Grunt was saying to a slightly appalled Kelly Chambers. She was politely trying to hold her nose, and kept looking at Grunt's armour. He was covered in blood of varying colours, and the more she looked, the paler she got. Grunt seemed to be completely oblivious, and was regaling her with his bloodiest moments. Garrus approached the door as well, and chuckled lightly._

 _"_ _Do you think I should rescue her?" Shepard asks, laughing at the sight. Grunt was massive compared to Kelly, and with his wild gesturing becoming more emphatic as the battle re-enactment continued, Shepard felt like she had to do something._

 _"_ _She probably could do with a rescue." Garrus replies. Shepard rolls her eyes and begins to walk over. Kelly catches sight of her and the look in her eyes suggests she desperately needs help. Walking up to Grunt, she hits him in the arm in order to draw his attention._

 _"_ _Battlemaster! Ha ha!" He exclaims, clapping Shepard on the arm and almost sending her flying. She laughs in response._

 _"_ _Come on, big guy. You gotta get yourself cleaned up and ready for the party."_

 _"_ _Party? I don't think you humans can pull together a party like the krogan can."_

 _"_ _Hey, come on now. Give your Battlemaster some credit. Wrex may have given me something that'll make this party more exciting."_

 _Grunt squints in concentration, and after a few seconds his eyes light up and he claps Shepard's arm again._

 _"_ _Ha ha! Did the old man give you ryncol?"_

 _"_ _He might've." Shepard responds slyly._

 _"_ _Then why are we still standing here!" Grunt says as he moves towards the armoury, Shepard and Garrus in tow._

Shepard places her weapons on a nearby bench and fondly remembers how drunk she managed to get Grunt that night. Looking around the empty armoury, she suddenly feels very alone. She's used to her crew, her family, surrounding her. Even though the majority were Cerberus, the ground team were her people. She fought with them, had their backs just like they had hers. But now they're all off doing their own thing, leaving Shepard alone to go through the hell that was that last mission.

Removing her armour, and standing in just her compression suit, she makes her way back towards the elevator with a sigh. Coming around the corner, she sees Liara standing by the galaxy map, patiently waiting for her. The sight of Liara makes Shepard feel at ease, and as she walks up to her lover, she allows herself a momentary reprieve. Placing her hands on Liara's face, Shepard brings her head down and kisses her. She feels Liara wrap her arms around her waist and up her back. Breaking the kiss, she leans her forehead against Liara's.

"I'm so exhausted I feel like I could sleep forever." She whispers. "That was all such a disaster, and I can't… I don't even know…" Shepard can feel her resolve slipping, and her emotions starting to crack. Liara leans up and kisses her again, this time being the one to take Shepard's face in her hands. Shepard instinctively meets Liara's eyes, and the pain and exhaustion Liara sees there is heartbreaking.

"Oh, Cora. What happened?" Liara breathes.

Shepard closes her eyes. "I can't. Not right now. I still need to get my report out to Hackett. He needs to know what I... what happened down there. Meet me in my cabin in an hour?"

Liara watches Shepard's face for a moment, but ultimately agrees.

"All right. I'll bring you something to eat when I come up. Doctor Chakwas gave me these electrolyte pills for you to take. She knows you won't be going down to see her for a bit."

Shepard smiles. "Thanks Li. I'll see you in an hour."


	17. Somewhat Damaged

A/N: So... if someone feels inclined, and were willing to help me, I could really do with some feedback regarding the meld I've written below. I've naturally never had anyone in my mind before, so it's a difficult thing to imagine and therefore write about. Advice, feedback, ideas. Anything would be appreciated :)

* * *

"EDI, can you add Joker's and Chakwas' report to mine, and forward it to Admiral Hackett please?"

"Right away, Commander."

Shepard leans back in the chair at her desk. Tilting her head to the left, she watches as her fish swim lazily in their tank. The soft blue provides a tranquil setting, combined with the gentle hum of the Normandy as she maintains orbit over a lonely planet. Everything is so blissfully quiet. She'd managed to take a quick shower before sending the mission report, and now sits comfortably in a pair of shorts and her familiar N7 hoodie. She languidly stretches her arms above her head, cringing a little at the pain from her wound on her right side. The hot water from her shower had helped, but the general fatigue her muscles are experiencing could only be cured by sleep, and the wound itself would be healed in a day or so. _Miranda's implants really do work wonders._

"Message away, Shepard." EDI says gently as she breaks into Shepard's reverie.

"Thanks EDI. Could you dim the lights please? They're way too bright. And Liara should be here soon I imagine, could you enable my door to allow access?"

"Yes Commander." EDI replies as the lights dim.

Shepard stands up and pads over to her bed, checking the clock as she slides onto the comforter. _23:03. I've got a few minutes to nap before Liara comes in._ Laying on her back with her arms behind her head, Shepard looks into the viewing port on her ceiling. The stationary stars, and the faint atmospheric glow of the planet are welcome and familiar sights. The deep failing she had felt in her inability to save, or even warn anyone on Aratoht, has been tempered somewhat. Writing up her mission report had helped; she had done what she thought was best, and it was the best course of action available to her. Kenson herself, a deep-cover Alliance operative, was willing to do the same thing before she became indoctrinated. The rationale was sound, but rationale wasn't helpful to a thousand families grieving for the loss of their loved ones, nor did it help her quiet torment at feeling like a mass murderer.

Shepard closes her eyes and breathes deeply, trying to become accustomed to the idea that even though thousands of people won't agree, and will ruthlessly call for her head on a spike, she made the right decision.

Lost as she was in her meditation, it wasn't until she smelled the faint scent of soup, and felt the warm body crawl onto the bed beside her, did she realize that Liara had come in. She wraps an arm around Shepard's torso and moves as close as she can.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, I thought you'd be at your desk. And then when I saw you here, I couldn't resist myself." She murmurs against Shepard's shoulder.

"You're a welcome interruption." She replies, placing a kiss on Liara's crest and wrapping an arm around her shoulders.

They lay still for a long while, enjoying the warmth and feel of each others presence. Shepard can feel a residual anxiety lingering in Liara, and is sure Liara feels the same in her.

"Are you alright?" Shepard quietly asks.

It takes a few moments before Liara responds. "I am, yes. I was not before. I was so worried about you. I'd sent communications, but when you hadn't responded… I felt my heart start to sink again. And then when Dax reported they had fired on him… all I could think was that they captured you. That the batarians got you and were doing terrible things to you." The memory of what the batarians had done to that young girl surfaced, and Shepard represses a shudder.

"They couldn't have caught me, Li. They were so disorganized. And you were right, they were few and far between. Way less guards stationed than I would have thought for the size of that prison. Although the lack of live prisoners could be why there were so few guards."

"In any event, you got out safely." Liara replies. Pausing for a moment, she continues. "Shepard? What happened down there? How did it go from rescuing Doctor Kenson to a mass relay exploding?" Shepard contemplates what to tell Liara. There's no judgment in her question, no blame. Just a genuine curiosity tinged with concern. When Shepard pauses for too long, Liara leans up on her elbow to look her in the eyes, but in the process she grazes the wound on Shepard's waist. She winces in pain, and a quizzical look crosses Liara's face before she looks down to see the cause of the discomfort.

"Goddess, what happened? Did you get shot?"

"Yeah. Quite a bit actually, but that armour you got me is amazing. That's the only battle scar I earned."

"But you've not seen Chakwas. This wound has had treatment." Liara states as she lifts Shepard's hoodie out of the way to look.

Shepard sighs and looks at the beautiful woman staring at her. She had planned from the get-go to tell Liara everything that happened. From the girl, to the way she had killed the captain, and finally to her crushing decision to activate the project after finding out Kenson was indoctrinated. But putting it all into words seemed daunting. Just the thought of verbalizing it threatened to open the floodgates. She knew the remorse was just below the surface, biding its time until it had an outlet. And the patient, kind, and loving woman in her arms was that outlet. Shepard wasn't sure if she was ready to face that yet.

"Whatever it is, you can tell me. Please?" Liara asks, the soft, soothing tone of her voice promising to help mend the damaged emotions.

"Can I show you?" Shepard asks.

Liara's mouth quirks into a faint smile, and she nods.

"Embrace eternity."

In an instant, Shepard feels the familiar feeling of Liara's presence in her mind. The calm assurance of her love pressed against the walls of Shepard's emotions. She sensed, rather than heard, Liara's soft voice asking for permission to see what Shepard had seen. She acquiesces, and allows Liara to experience the interaction with the girl. Shepard feels Liara involuntarily shrink back from the experience, but then tentatively move forward again. _What you did was a saving grace for that girl. If she hadn't been thrown down there, she would have still been at their mercy._ 'But she would have died anyways when the relay exploded.' _Yes, but her last memory was of someone caring. Someone reaching out to help her, to rid her of the pain that was her world._ 'She shouldn't have even been in that situation.' Liara's mind pauses, enveloping Shepard in warmth and light. _But she was. And so were you. You were both there for a reason._ _It is a heartbreaking thing to witness, but would you have done anything different?_ 'No. I guess I wouldn't have. I didn't want her to suffer anymore.'

The balm of empathy and understanding soothes the wound caused by the scene, and Liara can feel Shepard's mind allow the memory to be bathed in a soft light, instead of the harsh red that had been there before.

Liara's presence moves gracefully from one interaction to the other. The pure rage that left a burn mark on her memory was mended, and Shepard revealed the shocking revelation of Kenson's indoctrination. Liara could sense one more great burden, but Shepard was keeping her out. Liara tries a second time, asking for permission, but again, Shepard's mind blocked it. Not wanting to press, Liara gradually broke the meld.

Looking at her lover, Liara sees a pain there that Shepard hasn't revealed. The prison was terrible, filled with rage and hatred and blood. But Liara had seen that before. Her first few melds with Shepard had been after she found the Prothean beacon. Then, her mind held hatred and anger and a chaotic confusion. Given her history with the batarians, Liara understood why these memories stored more rage, but to say it was greatly different would be untrue. There was still something else.

"If you aren't ready to show me, you don't have to." Liara says as she runs her fingers across Shepard's eyebrow and down to her temple, lightly stroking her hair. She's almost laying on top of Shepard, her arm supporting her chin as it rests on her chest.

"I was the one who activated the engines on the asteroid and killed all those people." Shepard states bluntly.

Liara's motions stop for a split second while she registers what Shepard has said to her, but she soon resumes the calming movements.

"Why did you activate them?"

"Because Kenson had gone insane. I know she was right, and I know that the only way to stop the Reapers was to destroy that relay… but I was the one who had to do it because Kenson was fucking indoctrinated. I had to kill hundreds of thousands of people because Hackett's friend didn't have the brains to shield the fucking artifact."

"So tell me, if Kenson had pressed that button instead of you, how would you feel now?"

"I'd feel a lot less like I was about to stand in front of a firing squad." Shepard quips, but thinks about what Liara has asked her. "I don't know. I can't stand the thought that all of those people were sitting to have dinner, or saying goodnight to their children, or spending a quiet moment with someone they love. I know the way batarians do things are harsh, but they're still just people. Those children that were murdered didn't deserve it. They were innocents. And it's my fucking fault they're dead." Shepard says as she angrily wipes a tear off her cheek.

"Cora, they would have been the first stop for the Reapers."

"Yeah, the Reapers. The Reapers are emotionless and ruthless and they don't give a fuck. But I do. And I had to press that fucking button." Shepard responds angrily, and she moves to sit up, leaning against the headboard of her bed. Crossing her legs, she puts her head in her hands, exhaling a shaking breath. "I had to. That's the most frustrating thing about it. I had to get that asteroid moving. If I hadn't, the Reapers would be at our door right now. I stand behind my decision. It was the best one to make. If I second guess myself over every call I make, I wouldn't do anything. I just wish that decision hadn't come at the cost of three hundred thousand lives."

Liara mimics Shepard's pose, moving to sit in front of her and crossing her legs. "Shepard, I have had to make some incredibly difficult calls since becoming an information broker, and even more since becoming the Shadow Broker. Yesterday I sanctioned a hit on a salarian dalatrass who was planning to launch a covert operation on Tuchanka. The operation would have almost certainly wiped out the remaining krogan. The loss of one life guaranteed the safety of millions. Not only that, but the krogan are going to play a big part when the Reapers do show up, I'm sure of it. What if there were no krogan? Then even more will perish. You have made hard calls, and your heart does not go unpunished. But your decisions save lives. I know that's no consolation to everyone who was on Aratoht, nor is that a consolation to you right now. But Anderson, Hackett, and everyone you love knows you would never sacrifice lightly."

Shepard looks up at Liara, tears falling from her green eyes. She reaches out and holds Liara's hand. "I don't know what I'd do if you weren't here. Thank you for coming to rescue me. I do feel better, it's just raw right now. It doesn't help either that I am so exhausted I can't function."

Liara lifts up Shepard's hand and kisses her knuckles as she uncrosses her legs and moves towards her lover, folding her into her arms. She gently pulls Shepard down to the bed with her, and holds her close. Shepard curls up against Liara's chest and closes her eyes, breathing deeply. She can hear Liara's heartbeat, and feel her hands slowly caress Shepard's back. The weight of the world feels so much smaller in this space, and Shepard feels peace for the first time in days. Just as she's about to fall asleep, she murmurs a quiet 'I love you'.

"I love you too."


	18. Information Travels Faster

Liara wakes up slowly, hearing the soft breathing of a very unconscious Shepard. Liara is wrapped up in her lover, her back pressed firmly against Shepard's stomach. Liara blinks to clear the fog out of her eyes, and begins the process of extracting herself from Shepard's arms. The movement causes Shepard to stir a bit, and ultimately roll over onto her stomach facing the opposite direction. Liara sits on the edge of the bed and looks at the woman sleeping beside her. Her arms under her head shows off her spectacular shoulder muscles, and a tantalizing view of a well muscled back. Liara frowns in disappointment when she notices the blanket is covering most of Shepard's lower half, but she has one leg sprawled out. Liara loves the soft yet powerful curves of Shepard's form. She resists the urge to run her hand along that leg, or kiss down that back; she's got messages to read and a galaxy to monitor. Plus she's sure Shepard could do with a few more hours of sleep.

Standing up from the bed with a sigh, Liara looks around for her discarded clothing. Both of them had stripped down to nothing just before falling asleep, neither wanting any barriers between the contact. Liara finds her jogging pants and Serrice University hoodie, and starts to clean up the uneaten bowls of soup. Glancing wistfully at the bed, she makes her way to the elevator with the dishes.

"Good morning, Doctor T'Soni." EDI greets her warmly as Liara enters the elevator.

"Hello EDI. Is anyone else awake?"

"Jeff has just recently found a bunk in the crew quarters, however Doctor Chakwas is awake."

"Has she gotten her tea yet, EDI?"

"It does not appear that she has, Doctor T'Soni."

"Thank you." Liara replies, and presses the button for the crew deck.

Liara walks to the kitchen area of the mess hall, and after placing the bowls in the sink, she turns on the kettle. Pressing a button on her omni-tool, she calls up all messages received through the Shadow network, starting with operative correspondence. The VI in her omni-tool reads her messages to her while she washes the few dishes and waits for the kettle. News has reached the majority of the galaxy of the relay explosion in the Bahak system. Most batarians are blaming human extremists, and most of everyone else is blaming the batarians themselves for not having cultivated a positive perception throughout the galaxy. Liara scoffs at that. The notion that everyone should sit down and play nice is ridiculous. There are always going to be different opinions and different ways of doing things. Cooperation is one thing, but simply pretending to be nice so the rest of the galaxy likes you is an absurd concept to Liara, one that she does not necessarily think as being beneficial, let alone possible.

The majority of the information coming from her operatives is regarding the political reaction to the destruction of the relay, as well as what the Council is doing about it. The resounding response from the operatives is that they are doing nothing. Liara has an operative working right with the Council, and she has provided the most insightful information.

"The Council met this morning to discuss the fallout of the relay destruction. Apparently no one has any proof of who or what did it. When pressed by a human ambassador regarding the negative viewpoint this has placed humanity in, the Council simply responded that they had no reason to believe it was any one race, but that they couldn't stop the rumour mill from operating. Humanity's own Council representative, Donnel Udina, failed to comment as well. It is simply an indication of how far in denial they are regarding the existence of the Reapers. They have denied over three thousand evacuation/assistance requests from batarian civilians, requests that are stemming from some belief that the Reapers will enter the Bahak system first. The Council continues to deny the requests, stating that 'the Reapers' are just some fanciful creation made up by Saren and propagated by Commander Shepard."

Liara pours the hot water into a tea pot as she listens to the briefing from the operative. Knowing that the Council is denying assistance requests is huge, and may one day provide the new Shadow Broker with an interesting opportunity. For now though, she is content to let her info drone and operatives handle the majority of the work, and brings the teapot and two cups to the medbay.

"Good morning, Doctor Chakwas." Liara says as she enters the room.

"Well, aren't you a welcome sight. Thank you, Liara. This is quite lovely of you." Chakwas exclaims as she stands up to help Liara with the cups.

"EDI told me you were awake, and I wouldn't mind the visit. If you don't mind me intruding, of course."

"Not at all. I could use the distraction in fact. I've been working on collating information for one of the doctors on the Citadel. She's currently working on gene transformism in salarian physiology. She's asked for my help, but I fear it may be much too far over my head." Chakwas responds with a laugh.

Liara smiles and pours the tea, handing Chakwas a cup.

"Well, never mind that. You didn't come down here to discuss salarian genes. How are you doing?"

"I'm well, all things considered. I wanted to say thank you for agreeing to stop at Hagalaz and for letting me come aboard. I know it was an inconvenience…"

"Nonsense. It was not an inconvenience at all." Chakwas interrupts. "I can just imagine what you were thinking on the other side of the galaxy while Shepard was down on that asteroid. You being here was better for both of you." She finishes with a smile, taking a sip of her tea.

"It was relieving to see her in the flesh. She went through quite a lot on that mission."

"Was she injured in any way?"

"Yes, she took a bullet to her side, but it was patched up. After discovering the artifact that foretold of the Reaper's arrival, Shepard found out that the operative she was sent to rescue was indoctrinated. Shepard was heavily sedated for two days after a brief battle with the stations guards. During that sedation, all of her wounds were patched up."

"Poor thing. So she had to kill the operative?" Chakwas asks, concern evident in her voice.

"Something to that effect. It was the first of many steps to that relay being destroyed. Shepard had to activate the engines and destroy the relay to stop the Reaper's from coming through."

Chakwas takes another sip of her tea, and contemplates what Liara has told her.

"And if I know Shepard, she has spent a considerable amount of time mourning her decision to destroy the relay. Not only that, but undoubtedly feels the blame should be shouldered by her alone for the deaths of all those batarians."

Liara looked at Chakwas, and a smile crept onto her face. "Yes, that's exactly right."

"She'll come around, my dear. She always does. She has had to make some of the toughest decisions any one person should have to make, and she manages to come out of them relatively intact. Needless to say, she'll need you around in the coming months I'm sure. You keep her grounded, and I've never seen her look at anyone else the way she looks at you."

Liara blushes at the compliment, as well as the fact that clearly Chakwas knows her and Shepard are involved. Not that either of them have been hiding it, it was just easier to keep it quiet while Shepard was still with the Alliance.

Noticing Liara's blush, Chakwas continues, "There's one thing a good doctor never misses, and that's the forming of a relationship between two people she cares about. Don't you worry, your secret is safe with me. But I am glad she found you Liara. And that you found her. You both belong perfectly together, and I am very happy for you. And as long as you remind her to come and see me whenever she gets shot, I won't need to go all Mama Bear on her."

"Aww, I like it when you do that though. Makes me feel like I'm not the only one in the galaxy with a temper." Shepard says as she enters the medbay.

Chakwas smiles as Shepard crosses the room to where Liara is sitting, places her hands on her shoulders and kisses her crest.

"How did you sleep?"

"Like a baby." Shepard replies as she stretches her arms above her head. "I haven't slept that good since… well, for a couple years at least." She finishes with a wink in Chakwas' direction. Liara playfully slaps her arm, but smiles as well.

"Anyways, what are you guys drinking? Tea? I wonder if we have any coffee left on this boat. And, I love you Liara, but I need to find something more substantial than soup." She says as she places a kiss on Liara's cheek.

"Yes, and you also need to make time to see a certain doctor friend of yours. You need more than just electrolyte pills after a biotic-heavy mission like that." Chakwas says with a friendly glare in Shepard's direction.

With an exaggerated sigh, Shepard replies. "Fine. But only if you join us for breakfast first."

"It would be my pleasure, Commander."

* * *

Chakwas, Liara, and Shepard sit in the mess hall after finishing breakfast, laughing over shared memories of the Normandy SR-1 and the SR-2. Joker had joined them not long after starting their breakfast, and he gingerly sat down with a coffee in his hand.

"No smart ass remark about me and coffee this time?" Shepard quips.

"Ha, no. I learned my lesson thanks." He replies. "Although I really didn't expect you to take it that way. Usually you're much more accommodating when it comes to my idiocy."

"Yeah, well, I had a lot on my plate at the time. Still do, but I'm waiting for that hammer to fall."

"You don't actually anticipate Hackett being cross with your decision, do you?" Chakwas asks.

"I honestly don't know. Maybe. I'm just the one who is sent in to do the dirty work, I don't actually deal with political fallout. He does, and he may not appreciate what I've done."

"Wait… have I missed something?" Joker asks with a confused look on his face.

"The relay was destroyed because I made the decision to activate the engines on the asteroid. The relay in the Bahak system would have been the only way for the Reaper's to get in quickly."

"So… you destroyed the relay? To stop the Reapers? Why the hell would Hackett be pissed at that?"

"Because over three hundred thousand batarians were on Aratoht. The explosion would've killed them all." Shepard replies, with a hint of remorse. A good night's sleep had done wonders to ease the stress and horrific consequences of the relay explosion. Her mind was more focused, and she now held a resolve that the decision was the right one, and that the sacrifice had to be made.

"Yeah but…"

"I know, Joker. I've replayed it a million times in my mind. I made the right decision, and I stand by that. Hackett sent me in to do one thing, and that one thing escalated into something else. I couldn't just call for a pickup and let the Reaper's come through. They'd be at Earth right now."

"Well, you did the right thing Commander. I'm sure Hackett will understand. But if you don't mind, I'd like to examine you now." Chakwas asks as she stands up from the table.

"Sure doc, I'll meet you in the medbay."

"Yeah, I guess I have shit to do. Even though EDI is pretty much just running the show. I should go for another nap…"

"Joker…" Shepard says, a mock tone of warning in her voice.

"Or! I could head up to the bridge and make driving noises as I turn the steering wheel from left to right!"

"The Normandy does not have a steering wheel, Jeff." EDI interjects.

"That was a joke EDI." He replies, rolling his eyes. Shepard and Liara smile as they watch Joker walk to the elevator. With Chakwas having returned to the medbay, Shepard and Liara sit at the now empty table.

"Do you mind if I use your terminal in your cabin? I need to follow up on some correspondence, and check in with a few of my operatives."

"Sure Li, use whatever you'd like. I'll only be a bit with Chakwas, and then I'm going to head to the bridge to work out a nav-plan with Joker. I'd like to get to Arcturus sooner rather than later." Shepard stands up and places a kiss on Liara's cheek. "I'll meet you upstairs in a bit."

* * *

"No, EDI… all I'm saying is that if, IF, we could pull a move like that, we would lose anyone following us. Not to mention they would explode in a fiery death."

"But it would be counter-productive, considering that we would then be facing the enemy. If they were aware of the tactic, they would simply fire at us."

"I highly doubt that. They would have to be fast to predict a move like that. Plus we would only be facing the enemy for a split second. The thrust of the engines would take us out of atmo really fast. I mean, it's a really dangerous move to execute, but don't you think it'd be fun?"

"I think we have two differing interpretations of fun, Jeff."

"Yeah, this coming from an AI."

"What are you two bickering about? You sound like an old married couple." Shepard asks as she approaches the cockpit.

"Oh hey Commander. EDI and I were just discussing the obvious benefits to pulling a Crazy Ivan."

"Which are?"

"Firstly, the awesome explosion. Secondly, zooming out of there while the bad guys are still trying to figure out where the hell you've gone. Thirdly, the awesome explosion."

"I see. Well, I'm real sorry to interrupt this heated debate, but I'd like to work out of a nav-plan. And I'd also like a run down of what the hell was fixed on my ship."

"Sure Commander. Want me to get Daniels and Donnelly up here?"

"They're on the ship?" Shepard asks, surprise in her voice.

"Yeah… I'm not sure where else they'd go. Neither of them wanted to head back to Cerberus, so they've both defected. Daniels didn't want Donnelly heading off into Afterlife on his own, so she made him come back on the ship instead of staying on Omega."

"Shit, I didn't even realize. I totally forgot about those two. I just assumed they stayed on Omega." Shepard states with a guilty feeling in her chest.

"Yeah, you know how engineers are. All weird and reclusive, like to stay in dark places with minimal interaction. They're a lot like mice. You know they're there because shit keeps happening, but you never see them."

Shepard laughs at the accurate interpretation of her two engineers. "Yeah, that sounds like them. Could you call the meeting please EDI? Have everyone meet in the comms room."

"Yes, Commander."

* * *

With the debrief complete, and Shepard having been given a complete rundown on all repairs, her crew returned to their stations, and Shepard proceeded in the direction of the elevator. Chakwas had checked her over and had even approved of the quality of care Shepard had received while being heavily sedated by a bunch of indoctrinated doctors. Her wound was healing up nicely, and much to her dismay, Shepard would not be getting a new scar.

Despite the chaos of the last three days, Shepard was in a remarkably good mood. She felt a solid conviction that her decision to destroy the relay was the right one. She was sorry for the deaths it had caused, but it would have meant galactic destruction otherwise. Her previous despair was practically gone, no doubt due to the meld and the nights rest. She was looking forward to heading back to Arcturus, and she had a brilliant woman just one floor up, whom she was eager to see.

And then, her good mood vanished with the polite words of an AI.

"Commander, we are receiving a communication from Alliance HQ. I believe it is Admiral Hackett. I have forwarded it to the comms room for you."


	19. Cry Freedom

Liara sat at the monitor in Shepard's cabin, contemplating her next move. She has learned that being the Shadow Broker means she is essentially a chess master; the board is laid out, and all the pieces set in differing locations. One move to overthrow the king could result in an all-out attack, thus losing the opportunity. Or, it could result in victory. It was a delicate balance of ensuring the right rook or knight took over the right spot, whether that be to overthrow or support. And in the current circumstance, the rook was integral.

Urdnot Wrex was in trouble; his attempt at uniting all the clans of Tuchanka has made him some serious enemies. With a united force of krogan, they could, in effect, be invincible. The salarians are beside themselves with worry, considering their involvement with the genophage. A Dalatrass was recently removed from the equation due to her desire to release a modified genophage onto Tuchanka. Now, there were whispers from within. A small clan was moving a lot of nuclear weapons. This clan has been adamant from the get-go that the krogan do not need a single ruler, that they could do it on their own just like their ancestors. Wrex had effectively ostracised them due to their unwillingness to join Clan Urdnot as a brother-clan. But now, Clan Vaul was moving. And Liara needed to ensure she moved accordingly.

Setting her pieces in line, Liara moved and counter-moved in order to protect the rook. Krogan operatives were re-assigned and moved into key locations on Tuchanka, and given the order to eliminate any hostile threat if the situation forced them to. Asking a krogan to contain a situation could be a diplomatic nightmare, but Liara's operatives had false clan names and markings, ensuring that they would not be tied to one particular clan. The order the operatives received from the Shadow Broker was simple "Neutralize Clan Vaul. Retain clan if possible, ideal outcome is to eliminate nuclear weapons. Failing that, remove high-ranking clan members until insurrection threat is lowered."

Liara will wait for the other pawns, knights, and rooks to move, hoping for a checkmate. Wrex was the rook to Shepard's king, and she is going to need an intact rook to bolster mobility when the Reapers finally do arrive.

A wave of frustration and anger hits Liara moments before the source arrives. She can feel Shepard, and as she walks into her cabin, Liara knows the catalyst before Shepard needs to even utter it.

"You spoke to Hackett?" Liara asks as Shepard stalks into the cabin.

"Yeah, just now. He didn't look happy. He wants to come aboard and debrief me in person about the cluster fuck that was the 'rescue' mission." She replies, her tone of voice suggesting she is trying to keep her anger in check.

"When will he be arriving?"

"He's in the Sol system, so only a few jumps away. I expect he will be here within the next six hours."

Liara nods and stands up from the desk. "I should probably make myself scarce then. I have an operative in the neighbouring system who could loan me a ship in order to get back to Hagalaz."

A brief look of fear crosses Shepard's face, swiftly followed by a fierce frown.

"No, you don't need to leave. This isn't an Alliance ship, so I don't need to explain why I have a non-Alliance crew member on-board. Plus, I'll be heading back to Arcturus soon, and I won't be able to see you for who knows how long. I don't want to deal with you leaving yet." Shepard replies, sadness boiling up from below the surface.

Liara smiles a gentle smile, and approaches Shepard. Snaking her arms around her neck, she looks up into her lovers eyes.

"Well, Commander. I wouldn't dare refuse an order like that." Liara parries, silky tones invading her voice. She feels Shepard shiver as she brings her hands up to Liara's waist.

Liara leans up and whispers something into Shepard's ear. It produces another shiver, this time accompanied by a hot, hungry kiss. Liara breaks the contact, and starts to push Shepard in the direction of the bed.

* * *

Joker hated waiting. He'd been doing a lot of it in the past few months, and he was quite tired of it. He felt his life should involve more explosions, more flying in to save the day. Granted, that's all his life had involved since joining the crew of the Normandy SR-1. Not that he really joined, per se. He had forced his way in after an extremely risky move of locking up the previous pilot and hijacking the Normandy during her initial test run. The move had paid off, and he has since become synonymous with the Normandy herself. He knew the ship like it was an extension of himself; his reduced mobility augmented by the fact that he was the pilot of the most advanced and deadly warship around gave him an innate sense of how she worked. The SR-2 was slightly foreign at first, but he quickly grew accustomed, even with an AI watching his every move. Even then, once her shackles were removed, EDI was part and parcel of his every day life, and her value and companionship quickly overrode any lingering doubts he had about her.

Shaken out of his reverie by a sudden blip appearing on his sensors, he asked EDI to perform a scan.

"The IFF transmitting from the ship is registering as the SA frigate Helsinki." EDI responds seconds later.

"Great. Can you disable stealth so that it can see us? I don't have her on comm range yet, but I doubt it'll take long."

"Of course, Jeff. Stealth disabled."

"Joker to Shepard, we have Admiral Hackett on sensors." Joker advises through the ship wide comm.

"Roger that." Shepard replies.

* * *

As Admiral Hackett walks into the comms room of the Normandy, Shepard has to stop herself from saluting. Not only is she not with the Alliance, but she is also out of uniform and cannot salute a superior officer. Old habits die hard however, and Shepard subconsciously assumes a parade rest.

"Admiral, I didn't expect to see you here." Shepard states as a way of greeting. Having never met Hackett in person, she was unsure of what to expect. But what she does see is a military man through and through.

"Commander. I sent you on that mission as a favour to me, the least I could do was debrief you in person. That was before the mass relay exploded and destroyed an entire batarian system. All I know is, I sent you in there to rescue Amanda Kenson, and now an entire system is destroyed. I hope you can fill in the leap of logic between those two events."

Shepard sighs ad recounts for Hackett the events leading up to the relay destruction. Kenson's indoctrination, the Reaper artifact, and the fact that she was sedated for two days prior to activating the project.

Hackett nods, "At least you tried to warn them. The batarians are reporting no survivors from Aratoht. And you believe the Reaper invasion really was a threat?" he asks as he looks out the medbay window.

"Yes sir. We literally had minutes to spare."

Hackett falls silent for a moment before turning to face Shepard again.

"I won't lie to you Shepard: the batarians will want blood, and there's just enough evidence for a witch hunt. And we don't want war with the batarians, not with the Reapers at the galaxy's edge."

"So what do you want me to do about it Admiral?" Shepard replies, irritation creeping into her voice. Hackett notices, and his eyebrows raise slightly at the tone of voice.

"You did what you did for the best of reasons, but there were more than three hundred thousand batarians in that system, all dead."

"I'm aware of how many people I killed, Admiral. But I did it so that trillions more could live."

"Shepard, if it were up to me, I'd give you a damn medal. Unfortunately, not everyone will see it that way."

"Because they're all blind! I stopped a Reaper invasion two years ago, and now I've done it again. Everyone is always out for blood, my blood, because they don't realize how damn close they've come to losing everything. I have sacrificed and I have made hard calls just so they can live, and then they proceed to start an inquisition? Situations like this are making it real hard to give a damn anymore." Shepard can't contain her anger anymore, and finds herself almost yelling at an Alliance Admiral. Hackett listens, not interrupting or reprimanding her for the tone she is taking with him.

"Listen, evidence against you is shoddy at best. But at some point you'll have to go to Earth and face the music. I can't stop it, but I can and will make them fight for it."

Shepard pauses and thinks about what Hackett has said. Going to Earth means standing trial for a decision that she will now spend months defending. She will have to sit at a tribunal and go through every agonizing detail over and over again. And that's assuming that the batarians don't call for her to be sent to the Bahak system to stand trial in their brutal judicial system.

"I will go to Earth and stand trial, but only because I refuse to be made out to be the bad guy in this situation." Shepard finally manages.

"Glad to see working with Cerberus hasn't stripped away your sense of honour. In the mean time, know that you have my support. I didn't need your mission report to know that you did the right thing."

"Thank you sir." She says, surprise in her voice.

Hackett nods, "You've done a hell of a thing. And when Earth calls, you make sure you're there with your dress blues on, ready to take the hit. Good luck, Commander."


	20. I'll Be Seeing You

A/N: **this chapter contains sexy times between two ladies. If that isn't your thing, I should have another chapter up later today :)**

 **EDIT** : if you're a follower and you've just gotten an email that I've posted this again, I apologize. For reasons that are unknown to me, the site is not allowing me to replace chapters with edits, so I had to delete the chapter I put up and repost it. Ka'dira06 = very annoyed.

* * *

Shepard watches the door close behind Hackett as her shoulders lower in defeat. The support of the Admiral meant something, but not everything. He wouldn't be the one in charge of the Tribunal, he would just be one voice. Worst case scenario, she would be extradited to batarian space and left to die in a prison like the one she found Kenson in. Best case scenario would be court-martial. The fact that she had been carrying out the orders of an Alliance Admiral might hold some weight, but ultimately Hackett's orders were not to destroy the Alpha Relay. And her tenure with Cerberus meant she wasn't in the Alliance, therefore she accepted the mission as an independent contractor. The unknowns alone would cause heated debates among the Tribunal, possibly taking months just to get to the point of a trial. With so much at stake, Shepard couldn't afford to be trapped in a cell while the Reapers travelled to Earth.

 _Can't I just have one day of peace? Just one day where things don't go to hell and I can pretend to be a little bit normal?_

"EDI?"

"Yes Commander?"

"Where's Liara?"

"She's in your quarters, Shepard."

Five minutes later, Shepard finds herself standing at the door to her cabin. With a sigh, she presses the door control and steps in.

Liara is sitting at the desk, closing her files and shutting down the monitor. Dressed just in a bathrobe, with a glass of wine on the table beside her, melancholy lifts temporarily off Shepard's heart. Turning to look at Shepard causes Liara to stand up and move towards her, concern evident on her face.

"Goddess, Shepard what's wrong?" Liara asks as she approaches the Commander.

Shepard is unable to hold it together anymore. The weight of the decision and now the impending consequences have taken their toll, and the moment Liara is in arms reach, Shepard is burying her face in her neck and crying. Hot tears spill down her cheeks as she sobs into the soft bathrobe surrounding Liara. With one hand holding her head, and the other on her back, Liara comforts Shepard the only way she knows how: She just waits. The storm that is Shepard's emotions is finite, but it has been a long time coming. As though they themselves couldn't support the burden, Shepard's knees start to falter, and she slowly sinks to the floor, Liara following with her.

For what seems like hours, Shepard curls herself into the warmth of Liara, and just cries. Heart-wrenching sobs permeate the air like the tears that soak Liara's shoulder. And through the storm, Liara remains steadfast. Not pushing for a reply, or asking questions Shepard has no answer to. She just holds the broken woman in her arms, and waits.

Eventually, the sobbing subsides, and the tears fall less frequently. And eventually, Shepard takes a shuddering breath and starts the process of wading through the aftermath of the storm. Nestled as she is, she is unable to look at Liara, but starts talking nonetheless.

"I have to go to Earth. I have to go and stand trial. I am going to be on trial for causing the deaths of over three hundred thousand people." Shepard says as she takes another inhale of air, trying to calm herself down.

"I don't know what will happen. They will most likely debate it for months, or hand me over to the batarians. Or just leave me to rot in the brig because they don't know what else to do with a decorated war hero. Hackett said that he's got my back, but in the same breath he asked that I be ready to take the hit. Anderson will vouch for me. They'll probably get Joker involved, unless they're tired of dealing with him. But ultimately it'll come down to how much the Tribunal is willing to believe about the Reapers, and if they think the sacrifice was worth it." She finishes quietly.

Liara doesn't offer platitudes or empty words of consolation. Instead, she stands up, and reaching out her hand, helps Shepard to her feet. She leads her lover to the bed, and pulling the covers back and taking the robe off, she climbs into the soft sheets. Shepard slowly removes her clothing without saying anything and follows suit. They lay in bed facing each other, Liara studying Shepard's face, slowly trailing her fingers through her black hair. There's nothing Liara can say to make this situation easier for Shepard, as much as that breaks her heart. She knows too that Shepard isn't looking for an answer, she's just looking to have someone to share this part of her with. To everyone else, Commander Shepard is an icon. Humanity's brightest star. The famous Spectre. The Saviour of the Citadel. But to Liara, she's also just a woman who experiences loss, happiness, stress, fear, hurt, joy, and pain. She still bleeds and cries just like everyone else. And these tears have been bunkering down for months.

Shepard traces the lines along Liara's face, feeling the soft pebbling of her skin. She burrows in closer, resting her head underneath Liara's chin. Curling her arms around the soft form of Liara, Shepard feels safe. She can feel the steady heartbeat against her cheek where it rests on Liara's throat, and gently places a kiss on the soft skin. Sliding a hand down Liara's back and across her waist, she navigates to the sensitive flesh of Liara's hip. She can feel Liara's heartbeat increase slightly at the contact. The pebbling isn't as pronounced here, and Shepard loves the feel of the skin under her rough hands. Moving again, her hand drifts upwards across the smooth plane of Liara's stomach. A quiet sigh comes from Liara's mouth as Shepard's hand makes contact with Liara's left breast, cupping it and gently squeezing. She kisses along the column of Liara's throat as Liara tightens her hold on Shepard's hair with one hand, and runs the other down Shepard's back.

Moving lower, the path of Shepard's lips meet the soft breast still in her hand, and her tongue lazily reaches out to run along Liara's nipple. An intake of breath proceeds the action and Liara arches her back as electricity jolts up her spine. Taking her nipple in her mouth, she circles her tongue around it and gently sucks. Moving her hand again, Shepard lightly trails her fingers down Liara's stomach and feels goose bumps follow in their wake. Finding her hip again, she gently pushes so that Liara is on her back, and moving with her, Shepard covers her body with her own. Liara moves her legs so that they are wrapped around Shepard's hips as her soft hands following the strong lines of her back. Shepard releases her nipple, and trails her tongue to Liara's other breast, providing it with the same attention. Liara's hips start moving slightly and a soft moan escapes her lips.

With a final lick, Shepard lifts her head up to look at Liara. A half lidded gaze meets her own, and Liara is biting her lower lip. Leaning back so she is kneeling between Liara's legs, she runs her hands down Liara's thighs to meet her hips. Liara tries to pull Shepard back down with her legs, but Shepard resists. Desire is written all over Liara's face, and the look she is giving her lover is smouldering. Shepard moves her right hand inwards, lightly tracing a finger along the valley of her hip. The motions send a shiver down Liara's entire body, and Shepard watches as her back arches again, her face alight with the love she feels towards the gentle woman in front of her. Continuing the motions, Shepard moves her fingers to lightly run them along Liara's sex, gently teasing. The barely-there contact makes Liara gasp, and she moves her hips to find more of the touch.

Shepard can feel the satiny wetness even with a light touch, and her heart skips a beat. Again Liara tries to pull Shepard closer, but in response, Shepard runs a single finger along the soft folds of Liara's heat and finds the sensitive nub Liara so desperately wants her to pay attention to. Liara closes her eyes and moans, causing Shepard to almost lose the slow pace she has built up. Moving her fingers slightly lower, Shepard finds the source of the heat and gently pushes two fingers inside of her lover. Liara's legs tighten around Shepard's hips, on hand trailing to her own breast as she lightly squeezes her nipple. The action almost undoes Shepard, and she finally concedes and falls forward onto Liara, supporting her weight with one hand. Their lips finally meet with the heat and fire of a sun. Liara moans against Shepard's lips as her tongue darts out to dance with Shepard's. Liara moves her right leg down so that Shepard can support her weight more comfortably, and as she moves her fingers inside Liara again, she straddles Liara's thigh.

Wrapping an arm around Shepard's neck, Liara grabs her hair and pulls her head back, lightly biting along Shepard's throat. A low moan comes from her Commander as Liara trails her right hand down Shepard's side and to her hip, goes even lower to run a finger across the wet folds of her sex. Shepard inadvertently grinds her hips down, the pressure creating a wave of pleasure to shoot through her. Shepard starts to find a rhythm with her own hand, moving her thumb to brush across Liara's clit. Liara follows the same motion, sliding her fingers inside and being enveloped by wet heat. A shudder runs through Shepard's body, and in an attempt to get closer, she leans on her forearm, snaking her hand behind Liara's neck to caress the soft and extremely sensitive skin. Liara bucks her hips at the contact and gently bites Shepard's shoulder.

Finding their pace, the two lovers push each other towards climax. Liara's leg grips Shepard's hip more tightly, causing even more pressure against Shepard's core. With a sharp intake of breath, Shepard can feel the low waves of pleasure start to ripple outwards from deep inside her and knows that Liara isn't far away. She can see her eyes starting to turn inky black as Liara's need to meld presents itself. Nodding her assent as her lips meet Liara's, Shepard is suddenly surrounded in Liara's mind. Feeling her lovers pleasure as though it was her own finally sends Shepard over the edge as Liara joins her, bodies shuddering as minds explode in a white light. They stay in the meld as a soft glow replaces the sharp white, and as they slowly withdraw, Shepard moves her hands to either side of Liara's head in order to take some of her weight off her.

Liara can feel a wetness on her thigh, and with a satisfied smile, leans up to kiss Shepard. Shepard returns the kiss languidly and moves to lay down. Curled up in each other, Liara sighs and Shepard closes her eyes, slowing her breathing down. She was able to forget the world by getting lost in her lover, and the loss she was feeling at being separated from Liara again was tempered a bit. The melancholy had lifted from her heart, and though she still didn't want to, she would be ready to go to Earth. There was no doubt, no lack of conviction in Liara's mind when she had been part of it, and knew that there was just love from the woman in her arms. The strength that provides makes Shepard feel like she can move planets.

With a kiss to her forehead, Shepard and Liara find their peace at being wrapped up in each other, and slowly fell asleep.


	21. Blame It On Me

**Sol System, Earth.**

Lieutenant James Vega is fairly certain he's never met anyone as ballsy as Commander Shepard. He'd witnessed her glare and snap at Anderson, and speak none too highly of the Council and Alliance Brass within five minutes of arriving on the Normandy with Anderson. Now, she's pacing alongside the window in the Starboard observation room, scowling at anything and everything, looking remarkably similar to a pissed off cat. Vega had seen the vids of her Spectre induction, most of her award ceremonies, and news interviews. But he'd never seen her in person. And she was a mighty force of nature to be stuck in a room with. Her raven black hair tied in a pony tail, her green eyes blazing, and the pissed off look she wore on her face left little room for conversation. She was shorter than James imagined. He figures the armour she's always seen in probably adds a couple inches of height, but does little else to compliment the form he is watching pace around. Catching himself staring at her ass, he quickly looks out the window.

Shepard stops pacing and Vega looks over once the door of the room opens up, admitting Admiral Anderson. Vega snaps to and fires off a salute, but Shepard just watches him, her arms folded in front of her.

"We should be arriving shortly. Lieutenant, could you give us a moment?"

"Yes sir." Vega replies with a salute, and exits the room.

Shepard continues to watch Anderson, waiting for him to talk. Since he arrived on the Normandy with Lieutenant Vega a week ago, she's constantly been accompanied by at least one of them, except when she was in her cabin. Liara had left to return to Hagalaz the day before Anderson showed up, and just this morning they jumped into the Sol system on their way to Earth. She could see the giant blue planet through the window, with its layer of smog in the atmosphere, but its brilliant blue oceans still visible below.

Finally breaking the silence, Anderson begins speaking.

"Listen, I know you don't want to do this Shepard, and I'm sorry that you have to. I'm sorry that the mission went so far sideways that there was no alternative, and that it was a favour to an Alliance admiral. Your mother ripped my ear off with how pissed off she was that you have to be the scapegoat. Fortunately for Hackett, he outranks her, otherwise it would've been him getting read the riot act. Either way, I know this has got to be frustrating for you, but trust me. I'm going to help you as much as I can, and I know Hackett will as well."

Shepard looks out at Earth and listens to Anderson speak. She's not surprised her mom had gotten so upset; the picture perfect military woman, she understood what it meant to make a sacrifice, and probably would have done the same thing her daughter did. To be put in front of a firing squad for that would have been out of the question for anyone under Hannah Shepard's command. Unfortunately, due to being biased, Captain Shepard is unable to be anywhere near the Tribunal. Which was probably for the best; two strong willed Shepard women in a room usually cleared it pretty quick.

"I was hoping to see my mom after destroying that Collector base. Looks like that's not gonna happen now."

"She might be able to come visit you while you're in Vancouver. I can find out for you." Anderson replies.

They fall silent for a few moments, before Shepard starts speaking again.

"What's going to happen to my ship?"

"She'll go into dry-dock, and after that I'm not sure. She is based of the Normandy SR-1, so the Brass might try and reassign her after retrofitting, considering they own the rights to the design."

Shepard feels her heart break at the thought of someone else on this ship. It's been her home for years, even after it's original destruction. It's become familiar and full of memories, and she doesn't want to see it go.

"You realize that means Joker will have to go with her. You'd have to pry him out of that seat with a crowbar in order to get him off pilot duty of this ship." Shepard says, inflecting some humour into her voice.

Anderson laughs, "Yeah, I think that chair has become a part of him. Also, I wanted to mention something to you, just so you're prepared. When we land at Earth HQ, there might be a little welcome party, and not the good kind. We kept your arrival as secret as we could, but somehow it leaked. There are reporters and civilians going to be waiting at the dock. We have marines stationed there to keep them back but…"

"But there's only so much that can be done. Y'know, tear gas works well. I do have a Cain on board somewhere too if you prefer." Shepard responds, irritation creeping into her voice. She didn't want a show. She wanted to walk into HQ quickly and quietly. She certainly didn't want to be filmed the whole way, or have protestors waving signs in her face. And so help them if a reporter gets in her way.

"Commander, we will be entering Earth's atmosphere in approximately five minutes." Joker advises over the comm. EDI has remained suspiciously quiet since Anderson and Vega have come aboard, only really communicating when Shepard is alone in her cabin.

"Noted." Shepard responds.

Anderson walks to the door, and once it opens, he mutters something to the burly marine standing at the doorway. Vega salutes, and heads towards the elevator.

"I'm having the Lieutenant prep the drop shuttle. The Normandy is going to head to a different location than where we are going." Anderson provides when he notices that Shepard has watched the interaction. "Do you mind giving Joker the coordinates? I'm going to help the Lieutenant prep the shuttle."

"Yes sir."

* * *

"Want me to bust you out? It'll be fun. Remember that time we went AWOL? That was fun too." Joker quips as he turns his chair around to face Shepard.

"Again, I would like to point out our varied translations of what 'fun' is." EDI responds.

"Hey, I don't know when you decided to go all lawful-good on me. It was you who locked me in the bathroom and turned off the lights just a few days ago, but you don't think busting Shepard out of prison would be fun."

"That was a joke."

"Yeah, hilarious. You know what was even more funny? Trying to explain to Doctor Chakwas how I fractured a bone by walking into the toilet. I'm pretty sure she's gonna put me on stress leave because she thinks I'm losing it."

Shepard smiles at the interaction, happy to see that the one who most hated the concept of an AI was now bantering with one. "Listen, I gotta get down to the cargo bay, but I just needed to give you these coordinates from Admiral Anderson."

Joker looks at the coordinates sent from Shepard's omni-tool, and looks back at her.

"He already gave me these. Like, when he first boarded." Shepard's brow furrows for a moment before realization dawns. Anderson had given her a reason to go to the bridge alone, in order to say goodbye. He'd sent Vega down to the cargo bay, and had followed him there, just to give Shepard a few moments before all hell broke loose. She smiled at the concession and closed her omni-tool.

"Huh, maybe he forgot. It has been a few days since he boarded. Anyways, I have to get going. By the looks of it, we're only a few minutes out from our drop point. Keep in touch if you can, Joker. And take care of her."

"I will, Commander. Maybe if they want me in a courtroom again I'll see you there."

Shepard nods, and heads back down the gangway. Joker watches her walk away, knowing that the best chance they have against the Reapers is about to be locked up.

* * *

Even though she'd had a warning, Shepard was unprepared for the ferocity that greeted her at the landing pad. At least fifty marines stood in a line from where the shuttle docked to the entrance of the facility. Behind them, almost one hundred people were shouting and waving picket signs. Some were hand drawn, with words such as "We heart Commander Shepard!", while the majority had some fairly nasty things on them. She caught sight of one that just said "Butcher of Torfan Strikes Again" in blood red lettering. As soon as the shuttle doors opened, the assault of one hundred people yelling at her hit her ears, and it took all of her strength not to charge to the door and just be done with it. Anderson exited the shuttle first, followed by Shepard, with Vega bringing up the rear. Anderson hurried as fast as appearances would allow, hustling Shepard to the end of the walkway. Near the end, the reporters lurked. As they entered the overhang that preceded the door to HQ, they had to wait a moment while Anderson's clearance was processed. The reporters started shouting for Shepard's attention, one even shouting at Vega to get his input on the relay incident. Shepard smiled at the mental image of charging into the group of them, watching them tumble around like bowling pins.

With clearance finally granted, Anderson led Shepard and Vega into Alliance HQ. The place was enormous. Floor to ceiling windows offered a spectacular view of the architecture of Vancouver. Elegant trees blowing in the breeze, and a bright blue sky provided the backdrop to the main foyer, which in itself was immaculate. White marble flooring was broken up by soft blue carpets at the entrance way and the base of the stairs. Leather couches and chairs were set out strategically on the main floor, and there was a cart selling coffee near the entrance to an Officer's Lounge. Long, sweeping staircases ran along each wall to the left and right, leading up to the second floor. They curved inwards, out of view, behind a large wall placed in the middle of the room. The wall itself had the symbol for the SA engraved in it, and a large desk at its base in dark mahogany wood. A few secretaries and ensigns were answering calls or directing personnel, all too busy to notice the trio. Shepard had never been in a building this beautiful, and she realizes Vega hadn't either when she hears his low whistle of appreciation. Approaching the desk, they wait a few moments before someone is able to help them.

"Admiral. What can I do for you?" a young NCO asked as she smartly saluted.

"We're here to meet with Admiral Hackett. Has he arrived?"

"Yes sir, he's waiting in Conference Room B. I can have a marine escort you." She replies. Shepard notices with some amusement that she is avoiding eye contact with her. _No doubt she's seen my face all over the news, probably headlined with 'Terrorist'._

Anderson nods, and the NCO requests a marine escort for them. Within a few moments, five marines are approaching them, one even has his weapon drawn and resting against his chest.

"Woah. That's some kinda escort." Shepard hears Vega remark under his breath. Anderson frowns slightly, and as the marines arrive to stand in front of Anderson, Shepard notices that all but one are trying to avoid looking at her.

All five salute, and the marine in the centre begins speaking to Anderson. "Admiral. We are here to escort the prisoner to the detention centre. A separate escort will arrive shortly to escort you to Admiral Hackett."

Shepard stares blankly at the marines. It hadn't even occurred to her to call herself a prisoner until that moment. When Anderson had boarded the Normandy, he had assumed charge over her, but he hadn't formally arrested her. As far as she was concerned, Shepard was willingly going to Earth to defend her decision, but she hadn't exactly expected to be labelled a criminal.

"And who ordered you to do this?" Anderson asks in surprise.

"Rear Admiral Mikhailovich, sir." The marine responds, and Shepard lets out a bark of laughter. All five marines glare in her direction, and the one in the centre looks like he's about to reprimand her.

"The last time I saw him, he was none too pleased with me. I'm not surprised he's requested that I be immediately sent to a cell." Shepard says, crossing her arms over her chest. Anderson represses a smile at the remark, but turns his attention back to the marine.

"Well, you're just going to have to disregard that order. Admiral Hackett is expecting her, and I'm not in any particular mood to deny his request."

"But sir…"

"Hey now, you're not going to contradict an order from a superior officer, are you son? Because your new order is for you to escort us to Conference Room B." The marine stares at Anderson, and Shepard momentarily wonders if he'll continue pushing the point. Finally, he salutes, "Yes sir." He states, and motions the four marines to clear out.

"I must insist though sir that the prisoner be handcuffed." He says with a look of disdain crossing his face as he stares at Shepard.

"You're joking, right?" Shepard snaps, moving closer to the marine. She sees his Adam's apple bob in his throat as he swallows, is eyes going a bit wider, and the look of disdain replaced with fear. "Listen to me, I am here of my own damn volition. I have not been formally arrested, so as far as I'm concerned, I'm not a fucking prisoner. You try to put handcuffs on me, and it'll be the last damn thing you do with those hands." Shepard says in a low whisper, staring into the marines eyes. She can see the fear lurking there, and knows that he is not going to argue this time.

"Am I clear, Corporal?"

"Yes ma'am."

"Good. Fuck, can we just get out of here?"

Anderson nods, and directs the marine to lead the way. Vega follows behind, and is now _really_ certain he's never met anyone as ballsy as Commander Shepard.


	22. Conditions of My Parole

**Sol System, Earth, Vancouver, SA HQ  
Three weeks after incarceration  
**

Shepard takes one final look in the mirror as she does up the last button on her crewman's outfit. Her hair down and curling slightly, with minimal makeup, the only thing she's missing are her dress blues. After arriving at the base three weeks ago, she had been formally arrested by Admiral Hackett. Shepard felt like that was ironic, considering he was the reason she was in this mess to begin with. There was no fan-fare about it, and no handcuffs. Hackett simply advised her that she was now under arrest for the destruction of the Viper relay, and subsequent murder of over three hundred thousand batarians, and would be detained until a verdict was passed, or until such time as the courts-martial determined no further action was required. And although she was by default stripped of her rank when she was declared KIA, the documents she signed agreeing to the detention advised that she was being tried as an Officer of the SA Military, and depending on the outcome of the trial, would either be dishonorably discharged, or reinstated as Lieutenant Commander. Strangely enough, the Council has made no move to rescind her Spectre status, so she still had that as a guarantee. For all their white-washing and downplaying, they were certainly eager to keep her at their right hand.

It's spring time in Vancouver, and as Shepard waits for her escort, she looks out the window and watches a cold rain spill down from the sky. The mountains still have their caps of snow, and the steel gray colour of them matches the sky. She can't seem to get used to the dampness though. Star ships were climate regulated, and having spent her entire life on them, she didn't have the chance to acclimate to weather. ICT was like a kick in the gut: she experienced snow, rain, cold, extreme heat, extreme humidity, and desert conditions in the span of months. And then, after receiving her N7 designation, she was back on a ship. Not giving her body a chance to get used to any one environment meant that on days like today Shepard is woefully underprepared.

A knock on the door means that James has finally shown up, and with her assent, the door opens to admit him. Three weeks in, and she already has a fairly good idea what this man is all about. He's cocky, but he doesn't brag. He seems to forget sometimes that he needs a filter, and more than once she's been present when a higher ranking officer has reprimanded him for being a smartass. Shepard liked him. He was apathetic but caring at the same time. He always asked her how her day was going, even though it was literally always the same. She never felt that he was actually guarding her, more that he was just there, following her around everywhere.

"James."

"Hey Shepard. Ready to go? Sounds like they're finally ready for you."

"It's only taken them three weeks. How long do you think we'll end up waiting outside that door?"

"Probably another three weeks." He remarks dryly.

They exit Shepard's quarters are proceed towards the trial chambers. Like most days, the hallways were quiet. A few marines or officers wandered past with coffee in their hand, but they were few and far between. James strolled along just ahead of her, hands in his pockets, whistling under his breath.

"Can I ask you something Lieutenant?"

"Shoot."

"What are you doing here? I mean, why have they got you playing babysitter to me when you could be out there shooting something?"

James was quiet for a moment, but eventually responded "Ah, you know how they are. They randomly assign you to training for no reason, or want you on some guard detail somewhere to give you a break. It's no big deal. Sure, I get bored sometimes, but probably no less than you."

Shepard frowned slightly at the extremely vague answer.

"So what I'm hearing is that something went FUBAR, they wanted to provide post-mission training but instead decided to send you here to avoid a stress leave?"

James stopped suddenly and turned to face Shepard.

"That's creepy man, don't do shit like that."

"What? Am I right?" Shepard asks, a smile forming across her lips.

"Hell. No. Maybe. Listen, I don't really want to talk about it." James stated, and Shepard could tell he was visibly flustered by what she had said. _Ouch, hit a nerve. I'll file that away in the 'Will Come in Handy Again Some Day' folder._

They continued through the corridors in silence, James now walking at a faster pace. Finally arriving at the door to the courtroom, James stopped to shake Shepard's hand.

"Good luck in there Comma… Good luck Shepard."

Shepard smiled and shook his hand, "Thanks James, I'll see you in a bit.

* * *

o.o.o

"Ok, listen. When all these space monkeys come aboard, just pretend you're a VI. And maybe just tell them that you don't speak English or something."

"Wouldn't my communication in English disprove that?"

"Oh yeah, good point. You're smarter than you look EDI."

"Technically, you cannot see me."

"Right. Anyways, just don't make it known that you're an AI. The Alliance has had some sketchy things happen in the past with AI, and they'll probably unplug you. And we don't want that."

"We do not."

After a brief pause, EDI asks "Why are you here, Jeff? Once incarcerated, it is uncommon to be allowed back onto a military vessel unless for transportation."

"I uh… I told them you only respond to my voice."

"I see. Wouldn't that information have been important to advise me of immediately?"

"Yeah. But I forgot. So just roll with it."

Joker had managed to sneak aboard the Normandy prior to his guards and the other Alliance personnel. After docking three weeks ago, the Normandy was grounded. Docking clamps held fast and tight to the former Cerberus vessel, and all personnel on-board had been immediately detained after landing. Chakwas was promptly released after going up one side and down the other of an unfortunate marine after he attempted to handcuff her. Daniels and Donnelly were arrested for being part of a terrorist organization, as was Joker. And EDI had gone dark. Now, with the retrofit team about to come aboard, the 'VI' she was posing as would be invaluable, and Joker needed to make sure she knew what was going on.

"Jeez Moreau, how the hell do you move so damn fast?" Private Westmoreland snapped once she'd reached Joker.

"Uh, is that a dig? Are you saying you expect me to be slow because I have a disability? God, Westmoreland, that's so insensitive."

"Can it, Moreau. Just take us down to engineering. Lieutenant Adams wants to see what he's up against."

"Alright, fine. Just forgive me if me and my cripply body walk too fast for you."

* * *

o.o.o

Liara sat at her desk waiting for her operative's report. So far, in the past three weeks, there had been little coming in. The Alliance officer's officiating the court-martial were still sifting through the little evidence they had. A batarian black ops group had forwarded Councillor Udina some rather shoddy visual evidence, claiming that the person beating a helpless batarian in the vid was Commander Shepard and that it was recorded at a secret prison. Liara had managed to get a copy of the recording, and at once saw through the terrible attempt at slander. The person beating the batarian was wearing blue and white armour, and Liara had first hand knowledge of what armour Shepard was wearing during that mission. After doing some digging, she found out it was actually a Blue Suns merc doing the beating, and it was originally time stamped ten years ago on a remote colony world in the Terminus Systems. A revised data packet was then sent to Admirals Hackett and Anderson after being fact-checked by an operative within the STG. The vid ended up putting the batarian's claim in a tenuous position, as it was now coming to light that they were willing to fabricate information in order to see Shepard take the fall.

That evidence was forwarded ten solar hours ago, and Liara knew that three solar hours ago Shepard was starting the first phase of the trial. Liara was hoping that after providing her testimony on what happened, the Alliance would remand this portion of the trial, given that they currently had no more evidence to form a solid decision. Liara's goal was to force the trial to continually be remanded, until eventually they had to release Shepard as no verdict would be reached.

Just as Liara started to inadvertently doze off, she sees her screen light up, indicating a new message. Operative Taneel finally had a report.

"Trial remanded due to insufficient evidence. Position of officiating officers is that the actions taken by Cmd. Shepard are unique in nature and not carried out due to malicious intent or warmongering. Officers believe the decision should have been made after discussing the circumstance with a superior officer. I believe, Broker, that they are grasping at straws, and do not actually know what to do with Cmd. Shepard. Trial to resume in one week pending new evidence."

Liara opens the file of the proceedings that the operative has attached. She sees Shepard standing in front of five Admirals and one Fleet Admiral, her back straight and her voice full of conviction. Liara smiles at seeing the one she loves give an accurate account of what happened on that asteroid. One Admiral cuts her off, saying that there was no way an enemy force would have sedated her for two days just to 'patch her up', and that it was clearly a fabrication in an attempt to hide the truth. Liara pauses the recording and sends Doctor Chakwas a message, requesting her report of Shepard's post-mission examination, and specifies that she just wants the portion listing that Shepard's wound was tended to prior to arriving back on the Normandy.

With another notch on the Shadow Brokers bedpost of subterfuge, Liara resumes the vid with a satisfied smile.


	23. Enigmatic Soul

A/N: for my fellow Canadian readers out there, I added a little something in this chapter for you. Totally non-canon, but I just thought I'd throw something Canadian in there in honour of Kaidan.

Also, Kaidan! I finally got around to writing him in somewhere.

Thanks to author Convergence-Eternal for the 'drunk krogan' line. It made me laugh, so I hope you guys like it.

Anyways, story time!

* * *

 **Sol System, Earth, Vancouver, SA HQ  
Two months after incarceration**

Kaidan Alenko, newly promoted Major, skilled biotic, and seasoned marine, was nervous. Standing in the front foyer waiting for his coffee, he watched the bustle of people walking through the immaculate surroundings of the Alliance Earth HQ. Every so often he would catch sight of a petite woman with black hair, and he'd have to do a double take. He knew Shepard was here, but he had to continually remind himself that he wouldn't see her walking towards the front doors.

At least, that's what he thought, until he saw Shepard walking towards the front doors.

Strolling beside her was the biggest tank of a man Kaidan had ever seen. It appeared as though Shepard was telling some grandiose story, waving her arms around in an exaggerated manner and performing air quotes for some reason. The marine leaned down slightly to hear what she was saying, and promptly started laughing. Jealousy flared in Kaidan before he quickly extinguished it with a shake of his head. Shepard was enigmatic and full of charisma. She had a way of attracting people. It was no surprise that the giant marine was so involved in her story. Besides, Kaidan reminded himself, he didn't feel like that about her anymore.

"Sir?"

"Yeah? Oh, crap, thanks. I forgot about my coffee." Kaidan said to the barista as his attention was drawn away from Shepard. He was given his coffee, and in return gave the man a toonie. In the age of space travel, credit chits were a more universal method of payment, but here on Earth, coin was still good. And Kaidan enjoyed paying the way his people used to over a hundred years ago.

Turning back around, Kaidan found himself face to face with the source of his nervousness.

"Hey."

"Shepard, hey." Shepard stood in front of him, arms crossed, her weight resting on her right leg, and a neutral expression on her face. Clearly suited up for a run, she was in spandex leggings, a form fitting tank top, and her running shoes.

"What are you doing here?" he finally manages, after spending far too long trying to avoid looking at the swell of her breasts over the tank top.

"Well, right now, I'm about to go for a run. Then after that I'll probably have to go back to my room and continue to be bored stupid. Or maybe go for a few laps in the pool. And then, once all that's over, I'll still have to wait here while everyone decides what the fuck to do with me. You?" Shepard responds dryly, raising her eyebrow at the question she poses.

Kaidan realizes that he has asked an incredibly stupid question, but he was unable to think of anything else. The last time he saw her, he was berating her for becoming a different person while she had just saved almost an entire colony. Now faced with her, he feels like crawling in a dark hole and hiding for being such an ass to the one woman who supported him through everything.

"Sorry Shepard, that was a dumbass question. Admiral Anderson asked me to come here, I guess he wants to discuss a new initiative with me."

"Huh. Sounds interesting."

"Yeah. I'm not sure what it's all about, but Anderson seemed excited. Hey, listen. I'm still on Earth for a few more days; I got some leave to go visit my parents while I'm here. Maybe when I'm done with Anderson, we could have some dinner?"

* * *

o.o.o

One benefit to ICT training, and combat training in general, was situational awareness. And Shepard had it in excess. As soon as she and James had walked out of the elevator, she immediately (albeit subconsciously) scanned the room. A few armed guards, a lot of new recruits here for training, but practicing their terrible flirting skills. And just over by the Officer's Lounge at the coffee stand was Kaidan. Shepard looked closer for a minute to verify, but she'd know that perfectly coiffed hair any day. And he looked nervous. She watched him scan the room multiple times. He shifted his weight from one foot to the other, and when the barista drew his attention, he actually jumped a little.

"James, I'll be right back." Shepard stated, interrupting her story about how ridiculous Sparatus and his air quotes were, and started walking towards Kaidan. She stood a few feet away and watched him hand the barista some odd looking coin, and waited.

"Hey." She said as he turned around. The look of surprise on his face almost made her laugh. _I thought I would have taught him better perception skills._

"Shepard, hey." He responded, and Shepard watched him give her a once over. When he lingered a split second too long on her breasts, she mentally rolled her eyes. He appeared to collect himself once he realized she wasn't going to say anything.

"What are you doing here?"

 _Smooth._

"Well, right now, I'm about to go for a run. Then after that I'll probably have to go back to my room and continue to be bored stupid. Or maybe go for a few laps in the pool. And then, once all that's over, I'll still have to wait here while everyone decides what the fuck to do with me. You?" she asks, raising her eyebrow.

To his credit, Kaidan actually blushes slightly once he realizes that he hadn't thought the question through. Shepard knows though that not too many other questions could have been asked. 'How's jail treating you?' wasn't exactly a good conversation starter.

"Sorry Shepard, that was a dumbass question. Admiral Anderson asked me to come here, I guess he wants to discuss a new initiative with me."

"Huh. Sounds interesting." She responds coolly. Shepard finds herself a little jealous at the prospect of Kaidan getting to work on a special project while she has to sit here, the threat of extradition still looming over her head.

"Yeah. I'm not sure what it's all about, but Anderson seemed excited. Hey, listen. I'm still on Earth for a few more days; I got some leave to go visit my parents while I'm here. Maybe when I'm done with Anderson, we could have some dinner?" Kaidan continues. Shepard can see the shadow of remorse hiding in his eyes and she knows he feels bad for what went down on Horizon. But he had been an ass, and had cut her deep. She wasn't sure she was ready to be civil about it yet.

"I don't think that'd be a great idea Kaidan. I'm kinda under house arrest here, and you do not want the cafeteria food. Plus, wherever I go, Lieutenant Mountain over here has to go as well." Shepard responds, keeping her voice neutral. _Neutrality is going to be way better than the alternative. I do not want to add 'assault of an Officer' to my court-martial._

"I just thought it might be a good chance for us to catch up."

Shepard stares at him blankly, seriously hoping to keep her anger in check.

"So, what? You just thought we'd 'catch up' after what you said to me on Horizon? You were kind of an ass, Kaidan. 'You've turned your back on everything we stood for.' Ring a bell? That was fucking low." Shepard responds, her voice rising an octave as she fights to keep herself controlled.

"Yeah. You're right. Sorry, I shouldn't have asked. I just… I don't know." Kaidan starts, but is interrupted as James walks over.

"Ready Lola?"

"Yeah." She says to James. Turning back to Kaidan, she continues. "Listen, I gotta get going Kaidan. Maybe once they let me out of here, we can do that dinner. Unless I'm in a batarian prison. If that's the case, then it's been nice knowing you."

"You too, Shepard. I'm sure I'll see you around though." He responds with a slight frown on his face.

Shepard nods to Kaidan, and follows James out the front doors of headquarters.

* * *

o.o.o

"James, I'll be right back." James hears Shepard say at his right as he is tying up his running shoes. Three months of 'guarding' Shepard, and he knows she isn't going to do anything stupid. They've actually formed a decent friendship; Shepard doesn't ask about his past, and James doesn't ask about hers. He's learned that Shepard is incredibly funny, in a dry sort of way. Her off-hand remarks took some getting used to, but he quite enjoys the amount of time he gets to spend with her. Sparring matches were his favourite. Shepard didn't pull her punches, and they both usually walked out quite bruised, but happy. It was stress relief for both of them. And it was a sparring match that 'Lola' came out of James' mouth instead of 'Shepard'. Shepard had just shrugged, told him she liked the nickname, and delivered a nasty right hook to his jaw.

Watching her walk towards the coffee stand, James briefly wonders why she'd want coffee before a run. He watches her stand in line behind some dark haired guy, only to realize a moment later that the dark haired guy was her intended target, not the coffee stand. James stands up and follows Shepard's path, but keeps a respectable distance. It's clear they know each other, and James doesn't want to interrupt a private conversation.

He watches the conversation for a few moments. The guy clearly has a thing for Shepard; James noticed the way he looked her up and down. Not that it was a surprise. He wonders what guy _wouldn't_ have a thing for Shepard. Hot, tough, funny as hell. He's only human, and has caught himself starting at her assets more than once. But the guy she was standing with has it bad. Or did, at least.

James sees the guy actually blush in response to something Shepard says to him, but it's more of an embarrassed blush than anything else. He continues to lean against the corner of the wall, just waiting and watching all the new recruits go by as they flirt shamelessly with the other Alliance personnel. Then he hears Shepard's voice pick up a little.

"…You were kind of an ass, Kaidan. 'You've turned your back on everything we stood for.' Ring a bell? That was fucking low."

James recognizes the tone and knows he needs to get in there now. He's heard it before, directed at both Ensigns and Admirals, and knew that it could escalate very quickly. Moving in, he comes up to Shepard's elbow just as the dark haired guy is talking.

"Ready, Lola?" he asks as a way to redirect the aggression.

"Yeah." She responds, looking at him through the corner of her eye. "Listen, I gotta get going Kaidan. Maybe once they let me out of here, we can do that dinner. Unless I'm in a batarian prison. If that's the case, then it's been nice knowing you."

"You too, Shepard. I'm sure I'll see you around though."

James looks back at this Kaidan guy as he walks away with Shepard. He looks down at Shepard and notices a storm of emotions written on her face, most of them anger.

"Well. That was just about as awkward as watching a drunk krogan hitting on a hanar." Shepard says to James as they walk away. James represses a laugh at the mental image that provides.

"Yeah, sounded like it was getting a bit heated there."

"How do you feel about a 10k today, James?" Shepard asks after a brief pause.

"I feel pretty good about that, Lola. Just no biotics this time. That wasn't very fair, charging to the finish line like that.

"Aw, you never let me have any fun."

* * *

o.o.o

Major Alenko watches as Shepard walks through the front door of HQ with the Lieutenant. Guilt and remorse flooding into his heart at having hurt Shepard so bad. He could tell on Horizon that he had, but he kept saying more nasty things to her. He knew he'd have to make it right, but now was not the time. She was clearly testy and bored, not to mention under a significant amount of stress.

Kaidan sighs and heads in the direction of the meeting room Anderson has booked. He makes a mental note to ask if Anderson actually thinks Shepard would be extradited. He doesn't want their last meeting to be one of anger and frustration. He needed her in his life; She was a good friend. And soon enough, the galaxy would need her more.


	24. Prince of Spades

A/N: Sorry it's such a short one today. I am exhausted, and I feel like if I keep writing more, it will just turn into nonsense. That or I'll just start mashing my keyboard until words happen. I don't want that, and neither do you.

Thank you to everyone who has favourited this or is following this story. It really means a lot to see that you are all enjoying the read. Feel free to drop me a line about the story, or just anything! I'd like to hear from you!

* * *

From: Admiral Steven Hackett  
To: [BLOCKED]  
Date: August 2nd, 2186  
Subject: Reaper Investigation

Doctor T'Soni,

I understand you recently acquired a sizable source of information that could be invaluable to finding a way to stop the Reapers. You and I both know what is lurking in dark space, and we need to ensure we have a way to stop them when they do show up. With Shepard in lock down, there's no one else out there fighting this battle, so we need to carry that torch.

When I can, I will be sending you any and all information I have gained that will help us in our fight. Your vast knowledge on Prothean information and your available network means that you have access, or could gain access, to information that will be instrumental in surviving this.

Please let me know if there is any Alliance access you might need in order to conduct your research, or if there is any way I can help you.

Regards,

Hackett

* * *

From: [BLOCKED]  
To: Admiral Steven Hackett  
Date: August 2nd, 2186  
Subject: Re: Reaper Investigation

Admiral,

I have already begun research into several sources of archived information, and I feel that I am honing in on something of interest. I believe that there might be something of value within the Prothean archives on Mars. As an archaeologist, I had access to the archives about fifty years ago, however I did not have a chance to study them in any great detail. With your permission, I would like access in order to conduct more research. With luck, I hope to find information that can assist us against the Reapers.

Admiral, I believe the Illusive Man is hunting for the same thing I am. My operatives are running into his with an alarming increase, crossing paths basically every step of the way. I believe that if my suspicions of the Mars archives are correct, Cerberus might well follow.

* * *

From: Admiral Steven Hackett  
To: [BLOCKED]  
Date: August 3rd, 2186  
Subject: Re: Re: Reaper Investigation

Doctor,

Access granted. Facility personnel will be expecting you, and I have granted you top-level access to any and all Prothean information.

Cerberus threat noted.

Please advise if there is anything else you need.

Hackett

* * *

Liara stood up from her desk and headed in the direction of her private room. She could feel a headache forming at the base of her skull, and she knew she needed to rest. She had been pulling 18 hour days since Shepard had been incarcerated five months ago, and she was starting to feel it. And now, Cerberus was trailing her operatives. Fortunately, her operatives were always two steps ahead. Unfortunately, it meant that Cerberus could act the opportunist; swooping in to steal the kill, as it were. It was happening more and more often, and Liara knew it wouldn't be long until the Illusive Man tracked her down. She has been preparing for it for some time; Feron has loaded most of her data onto portable hard drives and has them stored in remote, but accessible, locations. The ship itself is a giant death trap. All the Illusive Man would need to do is stop the engines from turning and the ship would crash into Hagalaz. Liara was waiting on the solution to that, and once the smaller ship docked she'd have the rest of her information ready to go, and would set the bait.

Closing the door to her room, she slowly made her way to the bed. The past five months without Shepard had been tough; she'd just gotten her back, only to lose her again. No communications, no visits, not even a vidcall was allowed. Liara desperately wanted to touch Shepard's skin, smell her familiar scent, and feel the warmth of her lover surrounding her. Liara held fast to the knowledge that it was only a matter of time, considering the threat of extradition was now over. Being the Shadow Broker has its advantages, and time after time, Liara has provided information to Admirals Hackett and Anderson that refute anything the batarians had been throwing at them. Session after session of Shepard's court-martial was remanded, to the point where the Alliance was literally just stalling for time. They could only hold Shepard for so long without a conviction before they had to let her go.

Liara hoped it was sooner rather than later. With Cerberus barking at her heels, and the archives to sift through, she needed all the help she could get. Surprisingly, Miranda Lawson had been the most help so far. Once she had parted ways with Cerberus, she provided the Shadow Broker with a comprehensive list of all Cerberus' major strongholds, as well as each cells leader. Liara had systematically crippled each cell to the point of being inoperable. All but one. For all her reach, Liara was unable to crack into the mainframe of one particular project. The information she was able to glean simply hinted at an infiltration mech, and that the project started after Shepard went off Cerberus' radar. Even with Miranda's assistance, Liara was unable to learn anything else.

Liara lays down on the soft comforter of her bed and breathes deeply, willing the headache to dissipate. Closing her eyes, she calls up the image of Shepard's face. Each detail etched into her memory, it is less a recall test and more a longing to see her lover. Smiling at the recollection of the way Shepard's eye brow arches upwards whenever she provides a sarcastic remark. Liara always thought eyebrows were funny. So expressive and yet completely pointless.

Falling into a memory, Liara lets her mind go, and focuses on the one she loves, letting the image of her gentle Commander lull her to sleep.

* * *

o.o.o

"What the actual fuck?"

"Woah, hey now. There's no need to get all loco about this."

"This isn't loco. I'll show you fucking loco if you do that again."

"All right, maybe try and calm down a little."

"Hey! Don't tell me to calm down. You're a fucking cheater!"

"Lola, it's just a card game. That's the point of crazy eights. If I play an eight, I can change the suit, and I've changed it to spades."

"Yeah, but I asked you if you had any eights and you said no! You fucking lied to me!"

"No, I bluffed. I'm not gonna tell you if I have eights just 'cause you ask."

Shepard stared at James, debating whether she should biotically light the cards on fire, or just suck it up and keep playing. Having been cooped up in Alliance HQ for five months was starting to get to her; she missed Liara, she missed being on a ship, she missed her fish. She even missed pre-packaged meals. Everything here was warm and soft and extremely boring. Shepard hadn't fired a gun or properly used her biotics in five months, and she was desperately eager to do so. Not that she enjoyed killing, she just enjoyed the freedom of being able to dance around a battlefield. It was the only time she felt well and truly invincible.

But now, she was stuck playing a card game with James, and losing horribly. Suddenly, a slow, wicked smile creeps across her lips. James notices, and raises his eyebrow.

"I know that look. What are you gonna do."

"Do you know what 52 Pick Up is?"

"No, should I?"

"You'll figure it out in about two seconds."


	25. Lady Like

A/N: So this kinda happened by accident. I've been trying for the past two days to put together a filler chapter before shit gets real. This really wasn't part of the plan, but I ran with it anyways. Also, the image of Garrus in pj's made me giggle, so I had to put it in here. I'm going to give this chapter a warning just to cover my bases. If sexual innuendos and hot make out sessions between two ladies isn't your cup of tea, you might want to skip this one :)

* * *

A persistent knocking, and eventual call to his omni-tool, wakes Garrus up from a particularly pleasant sleep. Grabbing a blanket to throw over his pajamas, he walks to his door, eyes half closed and his brain still half asleep. He opens the door to see the last person in the galaxy he'd expect.

"Miranda. What are you doing here?"

"Do you mind if I come in? It's rather chilly here at night."

Garrus blinks a few times to confirm that he is, in fact, standing in front of Miranda Lawson and not just dreaming. After he sees her shiver, he comes to his senses and lets her in.

"How did you know I live here? I only just got the place."

"Old habits die hard." Comes the calm response from the former Cerberus operative as she sways her way into Garrus' apartment. Watching her walk past, Garrus notes a particular change from the Ice Queen he knew only five and a half months ago. Gone was the superiority; it was now replaced with humility. Wearing dark jeans and a black hoodie, she doesn't even look the same. She looks smaller, more vulnerable. Garrus momentarily wonders why he never noticed that about her before.

Once he has closed his door, Miranda brings the hood down from her face. "Sorry to just drop in. Things got a bit… chaotic on Omega, and I had to leave. I knew you had come to Palaven, and it didn't take long to establish where you were. I actually had to do a bit of leg work, instead of just sifting through computer files." Miranda provides with a small smile.

A brief silence passes. Garrus isn't used to visitors, not to mention human women, and isn't exactly sure how to proceed.

"Would you like something to drink? Actually, I probably don't have much that you could drink without dying, but I might have a bottle of wine kicking around." Miranda nods her assent, and after a few moments, he returns with a bottle of Thessian Red and a wine glass.

"So… what do you mean things got a bit chaotic on Omega? Do I need to swoop in and save the day again? I've still got one good side that doesn't have any scars on it." Garrus quips as he pours a glass of wine. Sitting on his couch, Miranda doesn't respond for a few moments. Looking at her to confirm she had heard him, he sees a strange look on her face. For all his dealings with humans in the last few years, he's not seen that look before. It appears to be a mix of anxiety and loss.

"Miranda? What happened?"

"Omega was attacked by Cerberus. They have control of the entire station, and Aria has fled the system. I barely made it out with my life. There were signs and vid screens everywhere with my face on them. I knew the Illusive Man would come for me, but I didn't think it would be to this extent. Not only that, but there are now reports coming in from the Exodus cluster that thousands of batarian refugees are pouring through the relay, stating that their home world is being attacked by an unknown enemy. And to top it all off, they've got Shepard in lock down and the Shadow Broker's ship has been destroyed. Everything is literally falling apart." She responds quietly, disbelief colouring her voice.

Garrus can feel his heart drop at the mention of the Broker's ship. "Spirits, do we even know if Liara is alive?"

"She sent me a communication in reply to a data packet I had sent. She sent the ship down on purpose; the Illusive Man had tracked her down. She couldn't say where she is now, but I imagine she's safe. In little more than five months, everything has gone to hell." She replies despondently. Garrus can see tears forming in her eyes, but she quickly regains some semblance of her self control. Pushing back an errant strand of hair from her face, she looks Garrus in the eye.

"We need to break Shepard out."

"Excuse me?"

"We need to get her out of there, Garrus. The one person holding this galaxy together is sitting on Earth unable to do anything."

"I suspect she feels equally frustrated at the situation. She probably hasn't been allowed to have a drink since she got there." Garrus says, attempting to lighten the mood with humour. The mention of alcohol makes Miranda blush slightly. His mandibles flick faintly with the turian equivalent of frown as he tries to figure out why that comment would have made Miranda do that.

* * *

 _Miranda is sitting at her desk in the XO office, finalizing a report to send to the Illusive Man. Her hair pinned up and in pj pants and a tank top, her next objective is to sleep. That is, until she hears her door chime with a requested entry._

 _"_ _EDI, who is it?"_

 _"_ _Commander Shepard."_

 _Miranda sighs. The near miss she experienced earlier on the crew deck rattled her for a bit. She'd never seen Shepard that angry before. As painful as it was to watch, she was glad that Joker had provided a distraction. Shepard's anger at the events on Illium had been neatly diverted from her to Joker. Once Shepard had walked away with Garrus, Miranda had finally exhaled. Realizing though that the source of that anger was now at her door had Miranda on edge again._

 _"_ _Open the door please EDI."_

 _Shepard hesitantly steps inside Miranda's office. Looking around briefly, her eyes land on Miranda but she quickly diverts them._

 _"_ _Sorry, I didn't think you'd be… not dressed." Shepard states. Miranda stands up and crosses her arms in front of her, the desk providing a decent barrier._

 _"_ _It's all right. I didn't think you'd be coming here at 02:00. So I suppose we're both unknowns." She replies, her tone softening once she realizes there's no anger left in Shepard. Her stance and posture are indicating remorse, not rage._

 _Shepard smiles slightly and catches Miranda's eyes. "Look, I just wanted to apologize for before. I was really fucking pissed off, and the only one I could think to blame was you. Joker only half deserved what he got, but you didn't deserve that at all." Miranda tilts her head to the side, half smiling at the admission._

 _"_ _What? Why are you looking at me like that?"_

 _Miranda walks out from behind her desk and approaches Shepard. The Commander tenses for a moment at the unexpected movement, but watches as Miranda moves to stand in front of her._

 _"_ _You've been through a lot. You don't need to apologize for being angry. Your entire life was blown up, you can't expect to just walk away from that unscathed."_

 _"_ _I didn't. Remember how you spent two years rebuilding me? Because I died?" comes the sarcastic reply._

 _"_ _I do. But I meant mentally. Horizon, Illium... even your own mother doesn't know what happened. I'm sorry I couldn't stop this from happening." Miranda replies with a sadness in her voice and looks down to avoid Shepard's stare. Shepard raises an eyebrow and steps forward slightly, and without even thinking, reaches out to touch Miranda's chin, raising her head up._

 _"_ _Hey, you don't need to feel sorry for that. What you did, what you gave me back, I can never repay. The fact that I need to deal with my own fucked up emotions is not a reflection of you."_

 _Miranda closes her eyes, and catches the scent of whiskey on Shepard's breath, and realizes suddenly how close they are. Miranda became aware a long time ago that she had developed a harmless little crush on the Commander. Never acted upon, never broached. Miranda retained the professionalism that was expected of her. But her exhaustion and the proximity of Shepard was making it hard for her to focus on anything other than the feel of Shepard's hand on her chin, the warmth emanating from her, and what those lips would taste like. She tried to push the thoughts aside, and return to the façade of the Ice Queen she was so famous for, but suddenly Shepard's thumb was ghosting along Miranda's jawline, her fingers moving towards the back of her neck._

 _Looking at Shepard again, she sees a puzzled look cross Shepard's face, and her brilliant green eyes are reflecting something Miranda hadn't seen before. She can feel her heart rate increasing, and works to calm her breathing down. She wants to uncross her arms and just feel, but she doesn't want to cross a line. It's been made clear that Shepard isn't exactly fair game._

 _Or, perhaps, the game has changed._

 _Miranda bites her lower lip and raises an eyebrow. The signal is not lost on Shepard, and a breath hitches in her throat. Miranda realizes she isn't exactly playing fair; Shepard is emotionally exhausted, and has been drinking with Garrus which meant that she has been drinking quite a bit. She is about to withdraw as her conscience gets the better of her, but Shepard's hand is undoing the clip at the back of her head, and as Miranda's dark hair tumbles down, Shepard twines her fingers through it and pulls her head closer. Miranda slowly uncrosses her arms and places her shaking hands on Shepard's stomach. The shiver that goes through Shepard's body is instantaneous, and Miranda desperately wants to know what Shepard's lips feel like against her own._

 _Moments later, she finds out. Shepard had hesitated as if contemplating something, but appeared to have made up her mind as she lowers her head to kiss Miranda. It was gentle, and soft, and not at all what Miranda wanted it to be. She wanted harder, and rougher. She snakes her arms around Shepard's torso as her tongue moves to find Shepard's, tasting whiskey and heat. The dual contact sends electricity up Shepard's spine as she grabs another fistful of Miranda's hair. Pulling her head back and breaking the kiss, Shepard looks at Miranda. The haunted look those green eyes posses is heartbreaking, and Miranda can see tears forming there._

 _"Fuck_ _, Miranda, I shouldn't have done that. I wanted to… I still want to… but I can't… I shouldn't assume." Shepard stutters as she releases her hand from Miranda's hair._

 _"_ _No, you didn't assume. I'm sorry, Shepard." She replies as she slowly removes her hands from Shepard's back._

 _"_ _I like your hair better like this." Shepard says as she brushes a lock of hair away from Miranda's face. The sadness is evident in her voice, and it almost breaks Miranda's heart._

 _"_ _I should go."_

 _Miranda nods, and watches the Commander slowly leave her room._

* * *

"Sometimes the solution isn't always alcohol, Garrus." Miranda replies shortly.

"Miranda, you know as well as I do that we can't just waltz into Alliance HQ, walk up to Shepard's cell and say 'Come on Shepard, lets get out of here.' It doesn't work like that."

A frustrated sigh escapes Miranda as she realizes the logic behind the comment. Breaking Shepard out is great in theory, but in practice, it would be nearly impossible.

"Listen, I've got a spare room. Why don't you stay here tonight and in the morning, when we have a more rational idea, we can try and figure something out. Maybe talk to Anderson. I've got this shiny new task force now, and I have the authority to communicate with Alliance admirals."

Miranda smiles at Garrus. "No wonder Shepard speaks so highly of you. Are you always talking her out of crazy ideas as well?"

"Most of the time. But usually she doesn't listen."

"She is a stubborn one indeed."


	26. 1000 Ships of the Underworld

**Sol System, Earth, Vancouver, SA HQ  
September 28** **th** **, 2186**

Shepard paces around her room in a foul mood. Her hearing this morning had produced the same thing that it had for the last six months; remanded due to insufficient evidence. This time, she had snapped on the Admiral who had provided the resolution.

"Listen, while you sit here and continually push this back, millions of people are dying. Just because I'm in here doesn't mean I don't know about the refugees. You call me a murderer, but what are you doing about that?" Shepard seethed. She'd had enough, and was no longer going to hide the frustration.

"We would like to remind the defendant that this is a martial proceeding headed by your superiors. That tone of voice will not be tolerated." One of the Admirals responded.

"I've been here for six months, and for what? You to keep sending me back to my room after coming to the same conclusion as the last hundred times? Why do you keep bringing me here? Fuck, it would be easier on all of us if you just sent a messenger to my room telling me it's remanded. Again."

"Shepard, please contain yourself. There's no need for profanity."

"Just make a fucking decision already! Release me, hand me over to the batarians, or send me to the brig. Just do something. Your inaction is going to be our downfall! You're no fucking better than the Council!"

The Admiralty looked as frustrated as Shepard with the lack of decision, and the three of them were unable to refute the accusation. However, they weren't going to tolerate insubordination. The Admiral had nodded at a marine, who approached Shepard and grabbed her arm.

"Don't fucking touch me. I get the hint. I'll see you in a few days, Admirals."

Two hours later and she was still angry. New reports coming in from a turian colony, Taetrus, have said that the colony has gone dark and the attackers are presumed to be the same ones attacking the batarian home world. _How am I the only fucking one who can see what's happening? No one here is doing a damn thing._ _If Liara or anyone else gets hurt, or worse, because of this inaction, I'm going to kill someone._

Shepard stops her pacing to stand at the window, looking out over the Vancouver city scape. Fall has arrived, and the trees are turning from green, to beautiful red and oranges. The mountains have assumed their mantle of snow once again, and the brilliant white on the peaks set a stark contrast against the vivid blue sky. Something below catches her eye, and she watches a young boy playing with a toy fighter. Shepard feels a surge of anger again, knowing that the innocents like that one were the first to suffer and the hardest hit.

"Sorry kid. I hope we haven't damned us all." She says quietly to herself.

The door opens suddenly, and Lieutenant Vega appears and salutes her. "Commander. Looking radiant as ever."

"Fuck off, Vega." Shepard says, but there's no venom in it. "You're not supposed to call me that anymore, either."

"Yeah well, also shouldn't have saluted you. We gotta go though. The Defense Committee wants to see you."

 _Fuck._

"What for? You'd think they'd be eager to keep me in my room after my little outburst this morning in front of the Admirals."

James laughs as he leads the way through the corridors. "Yeah, I heard about that. Sounds like you were pretty close to getting cuffed. I'm not sure why they want to see you, but they said it was important."

The hallways were filled with people. Officers, marines, support personnel, all rushing with data pads and worried looks on their faces. Turning a corner, Shepard sees Anderson walking towards her. James stops and salutes, but Shepard shakes his hand.

"Long time no see, Admiral. I thought you'd forgotten about me." She says with a hint of a smile.

"Never. It helps though that I'm constantly reminded. Your mother sends her regards. You do look good though Shepard. Maybe a little soft around the edges." Anderson replies, a grin spreading across his face. Shepard notices that he looks considerably older than the last time she saw him. Grey hairs where there weren't any before, and a tired look in his eyes.

"Yeah well, nothing a little run won't fix. What's going on? Why's everyone in such a rush?" Shepard asks as Anderson resumes walking.

"Admiral Hackett is mobilizing the fleets. I guess word's made it to Alliance command. Something big is headed our way."

"Fuck, Anderson, we are not ready for them." Shepard says quietly at his shoulder.

"Tell that to the Defense Committee." He replies, as he continues walking.

"It's a waste of time talking to them. We can't just sit around talking about how to defeat the Reapers, we need to actually do something." Shepard retorts, frustration creeping into her voice.

"They're just scared, Shepard. None of them have seen what you have. They respect you for the experience you bring to the table, even though they might not like the way you present it."

Shepard snorts in derision. "Is that why they've kept me here for six months for no fucking reason? They have a funny way of showing respect."

Anderson stops and faces Shepard. The look on his face gives Shepard pause. It's obviously cost him dearly over the past six months, not having anyone on the outside to provide support or intel. It would've been just like when she had died. With Shepard out of sight and out of mind, the galaxy can continue to bask in the glow of ignorance. For people like Anderson and her team, that was exceptionally frustrating.

"The shit you've done… any other officer would have been discharged or worse. It's your knowledge of the Reapers that has kept that from happening."

"That and your good word."

"Yeah, I trust you Shepard. And so does the committee. Come on, we need to get in there."

Shepard and James follow Anderson as he leads them towards the board room. Hurried vid calls and whispered words echo around the space as Alliance personnel move to their differing objectives. Anderson is intercepted by a marine providing information, and James takes the opportunity to speak to Shepard.

"Good luck in there Lola. You're gonna need it."

"Thanks James. Something is telling me I won't need an escort back to my room. Sorry you had to be my babysitter for the past six months."

"Hey, don't mention it. I needed the down time. But I'll miss getting my ass handed to me during sparring sessions by a hot, badass woman."

"Easy there, Lieutenant." Shepard says with a smile and shakes his hand.

"Shepard?"

She spins around to see Kaidan standing with Anderson and notices the rank of Major added on to his battle dress uniform.

"Huh. Major Alenko. Guess I missed quite a bit while I've been locked up. Good to see you again." Shepard responds dryly.

"Sorry Shepard. I didn't really have a chance to tell you last time we saw each other."

"It's fine. Hey, are we gonna go talk to this committee or what?" Shepard asks Anderson, wanting to be done with the conversation at hand.

Anderson nods and motions Shepard to follow. Kaidan and James both watch Shepard walk away. James glances over at Kaidan, noting a solemn expression as his shoulders slump lower.

"Hey man, don't worry. She'll come around." James says good naturedly.

"Sorry Lieutenant, but I don't think that's any of your business."

* * *

Standing in front of the Defense Committee, Shepard wondered how anything got accomplished in the Alliance. Anderson wasn't wrong; these people were terrified. A video was played, taken in real time from London. The figures in the background where unmistakable, and they were now on Earth. Everyone in the room watched in terror as civilians were surrounded by husks. A child was torn away from her anguished mother, and marines doing their damnedest to fight an overwhelming force that had effectively come out of nowhere.

The look of horror on their faces when she told them they either fought or died had Shepard momentarily concerned. It was the exact same message she had been giving for the past three years, why was it only now being considered?

A low rumble shook the compound, and all eyes were suddenly turned towards the large windows at the back of the room. A blinding red beam was immediately followed by a nightmare. Shepard reacted first, shouting for everyone to move out of the line of fire, but she was too late. The shockwave from the blast exploded the windows, sending the large desk floating across the room, the Alliance Defense Committee obliterated in one hit. Shepard herself was thrown backwards, landing hard against the wall. Light exploded behind her eyes, and then darkness took over.

* * *

Alarm bells wailed throughout the Archives as an unknown force fought their way through. Liara had been watching a security vid taken from Arcturus just moments ago, and watched in horror as explosions rippled through the space station, and then the feed immediately went dark. Taetrus had been decimated, the Alliance government crippled, and the entire Second Fleet of the Alliance military gone, in just six hours. Apprehension grew in the pit of Liara's stomach upon the realization that they were heading to Earth. And as the alarms sounded and the now-recognized Cerberus forces started pouring into the Archives, Liara's sense of dread grew.

She heard gunfire just outside the office she had been working in. Grabbing her data discs and her pistol, she momentarily froze. She was alone, without Shepard or teammates to provide assistance. If even one Cerberus agent caught her, the entire Shadow network would fall, adding to the already overwhelming chaos. Crouching low behind a desk, Liara waited to see if the Cerberus forces would bother to enter the room. Her fear was answered when one of them tried the door. She heard him call for an engineer to provide a hack, and she waited in silence.

* * *

"Jeff?"

"Yeah EDI?"

"Reaper signatures appear to be entering Earth's atmosphere at an alarming rate. We need to move to a less vulnerable location."

"Shit. Can you contact docking control, get them to remove the clamps?"

"They are denying the request. Their long range scanners are picking up the same signatures mine are, however they are refusing to act without an order from an Alliance Officer."

"Y'know, it's shit like this that made me leave in the first place. First I get locked up, now I can't get the ship moving even though there is literally a Reaper on our heads. They sure do play a deadly game of chicken."

"I do not understand what birds have to do with this scenario."

Joker sighs in response to EDI's comment. Just as he is about to provide a more adequate reply, a shadow encompasses the Normandy. A low, rolling noise shivers through the ship, and Joker looks up through the viewport. A blinding red beam of light is immediately followed by a massive Reaper as it lands on top of Alliance HQ.

"EDI…"

"One moment, I am bypassing the docking clamps."

Joker engages the ship, activating the engines and the sensor array. A very upset Private Westmoreland and Private Campbell come running up the gangway towards Joker.

"What the hell, Moreau! What are you…" Westmoreland falls silent as she catches sight of the Reaper moving slowly, creating a miserable path of destruction. Her eyes go wide, and she pales. Two more Reaper capital ships land kilometers away from where the Normandy is docked, explosions lighting up around their appendages. Plumes of smoke drift in the wind, and the sensors are showing ground forces being deployed.

"Come on, EDI."

"Clamps removed. I am receiving a boarding request from a Major Alenko."

"Major? What the shit? Uh, am I the only one on board?"

"Lieutenant Adams is present in engineering and is currently the highest ranking officer."

"Ok, send him a message. I'm surprised he hasn't given me hell for starting up the engines. Allow Major Hair Gel on board, and then find us a safe place to go until we can track down Shepard. Preferably one that doesn't involve getting blown up by damn nightmare squids."

"Is that all, Jeff?" the AI replies sarcastically.

Joker smiles. "Yeah, I think so. Although I could use a coffee."

* * *

The city no longer looks like it had just an hour ago. Screams are filling the air, along with the deafening noise of the Reaper capital ships. Husks crawl along the walls and rooftops of most of the buildings, as well as the streets below, clawing and biting any human in their path. The scent of burning flesh hits Shepard's nose as she stands overlooking the destruction. At least a dozen Reapers are methodically blasting everything in sight. The beautiful red and orange trees are now nothing but flames as they are hit by red beams of light. Smoke fills the pristine sky, and even the mountains are dwarfed by the immense metallic forms moving through. Massive winged creatures fly overhead, following Alliance fighters as they dodge more air forces. SOS requests are lighting up every frequency, and Shepard listens to terrified marines as they request backup. The scream of one female marine makes Shepard's hair stand on end as she pleads for help, stating that husks are closing in on her. Armed with only a pistol, she is helpless against the rotting flesh of the reanimated as they drag her down.

Shepard switches off her comm and looks at Anderson. Wordlessly, he nods, and jumps down from the landing. Getting to the Normandy is the priority right now. He advises that Alenko and Vega have already arrived, and are waiting on their location to do a pick-up.

They make their way slowly along the edge of the roof. Down below, civilians are running towards transports and boats in a feeble attempt to escape. Husks follow behind them, and one of the winged creatures swoops low and lands in the midst of the terrified humans. Shepard looks away and continues to follow Anderson, rage starting to fill her completely. The beauty that was this city is now marred by a terrible noise, and the violent attempt at wiping it out. Tears of rage sting Shepard's eyes as she follows Anderson, and another massive ship lands with an earth-shattering rumble. Its red beam shearing aircraft in half, and totalling ships below it.

Anderson and Shepard arrive near the spaceport and witness a capital ship blasting an Alliance dreadnought out of the sky. They look on in horror as only three shots decimate the Alliance vessel. The explosion causes shockwaves to ripple outwards, knocking down the barely-supported walkway they were standing on. They tumble downwards, Shepard regaining her footing at the bottom. She winces in pain as she notices a deep gash in her arm, no doubt caused by broken glass and debris. Quickly applying medi-gel to stop the flow of blood, Anderson urges them onwards. Frustration and anger are radiating off Shepard, and when they encounter some monstrosity of a creation eating the flesh of a dead Reaper troop, Shepard doesn't hesitate. Charging into the middle of them, the creatures are caught off guard. Slamming into one, it gets sent flying backwards. _Time to test out my new toy_. With a shout, she leaps up and expends some of her biotic energy to send a massive amount of force outwards, knocking the rest of the troops down. Anderson quickly catches up and dispatches the remaining ground forces, and they continue towards the space port.

* * *

"Does this scenario feel familiar to you, EDI?"

"It does match another recorded scenario along the same lines, yes."

"Alright, so we did it last time, we can do it now. EDI, are those beautiful eyes of yours picking up their heat signatures?"

"Negative."

"So we know they're down there somewhere. Last communication stated they were heading to the space port, right Major?"

"That's right. They're by a downed gunship in the harbour."

"Ok EDI. Let's get that stealth tech active and get our Commander."

Joker initiates the engines, and slowly lifts off from the docking station. The familiar thrust and pull as the Normandy fights gravity is a welcome feeling. Six months of being grounded did not sit well with Joker.

"How are we looking, Adams?" Joker asks through the comm.

"All good down here. Stealth system engaged and operating well." Comes the reply from engineering.

"EDI?"

"Scans indicate we are not being actively targeted. Our Reaper IFF may be cloaking us completely."

"All right. Let's go be big damn heroes."

* * *

Liara hears the click of the door as the engineers finally manage to finish the hack. She'd delayed their entry by enabling her own hack on the door. Scrambling their sensors at key moments allowed their hacks to continually fail. The last one was bypassed though, and as the doors begin to open, Liara throws up a singularity to block the entrance. Unaware of the trap, three Cerberus grunts walk directly into it. Smiling to herself, Liara then dispatches a warp field, detonating the singularity. The explosion decimates the troopers, sending pieces of them flying everywhere. Standing behind the door is the engineer, momentarily frozen with inaction. Coming to his senses, he reaches behind himself to grab the turret. Liara deploys a stasis field to stop him. Momentarily considering her options, Liara chooses the safest one.

Walking up to the engineer, Liara places one shot through his helmeted head, ensuring she has some time to escape.

If she had to guess, Liara supposes that going through that door will lead directly to the path of the Cerberus troopers. Glancing around, she notices a hatch on the ceiling. A maintenance shaft that leads to the duct system of the Archives. Smiling at her own ingenuity, she moves towards the safest way to avoid the troops.

* * *

Out of ammo, and out of patience, Shepard fires her last round into one of the disgusting cannibals attempting to kill her and Anderson. With only biotics available, Shepard quickly scans the area. Multiple hostiles closing in fast, as well as more being constantly dropped from the sky in hellish fireballs. She hears Andersons clip empty and knows that he does not have the advantage of biotics; this has now turned into a protect/survive mission, and Shepard does not like her odds. Then, the most beautiful thing she's seen in six months dances into view.

The Normandy fires her main guns directly at the hostiles in the harbour. Sun glinting against her sheer metallic sides, Shepard feels relief flooding through her at the sight of her ship. Cerberus colours removed, and Alliance colours added, she looks perfect. Switching on her comm, she radios Joker.

"Hey, remember on that asteroid a few months back when you promised you'd never leave me hanging again? Empty promises Lieutenant."

"It's nice to see you too, Commander. Feel like coming aboard? We've got some coffee on."

There's a brief pause before Shepard replies with a smile. "Don't be a smart ass, just come pick us up."

"Gladly."

Five minutes later, Shepard is standing in the cargo bay of the Normandy with Kaidan, Anderson tossing her dog-tags to her.

"Now go! That's an order!"

She watches Anderson turn around and head directly back into the fray. A Reaper destroyer appears between the buildings, and Shepard watches as it targets civilian transports attempting to escape. The young boy she had seen only hours ago is climbing into one of the Kodiaks, and as he rights himself, he stares up at the ship. Shepard watches as the destroyer primes its gun, and as the shuttles take off, it fires a few quick shots, downing the transports. Women and children had boarded those transports. Innocents taken down for no reason, the first casualties in a war they never wanted.

Closing her eyes to the chaos, she turns around and walks deeper into the ship.


	27. Mayhem

A/N: I'm sure most of you know already, but in case you didn't, each chapter title is a song title. This one in particular is the name of a few different songs, so I wanted to clarify that it is by a band called Halestorm.

Enjoy!

* * *

Shepard walks towards the back of the cargo bay, her thoughts and emotions running wild. She is beyond angry. Angry at the unpreparedness, angry at Anderson, angry at the institution she regards as family. And now, the newly reinstated Commander had to play politician. Not the most diplomatic on the best of days, Shepard was angry at that the most.

Now, an equally pissed off James was dogging her steps, nipping at the heals of her thinning patience.

"Where's Anderson? Where are we going?"

Shepard doesn't reply, the benefit of rank now meaning she doesn't need to.

"Hey!"

Shepard stops and abruptly turns around. Facing the taller man, she glares at him in irritation.

"I like you, Lieutenant. But you're pushing my buttons and I need you to back off. If you must know, Anderson stayed to help the fight, and has ordered us to go to the Citadel."

Indignation crosses James' face, and Shepard can feel the inner turmoil radiating off of him.

"Bullshit. He wouldn't order us to leave."

"Enough." Shepard states as she stabs a finger to his chest. "You can carry on second guessing me all day if you like, but I don't have the time or patience to fucking answer your damn questions. We're going to the Citadel. You want out? You can catch a ride back from there."

"Commander?" Joker's voice rings out through the cargo bay.

"What?" She snaps, turning away from James and heading in the direction of the elevator.

"I've got an emergency transmission from Admiral Hackett for you."

"Put it through."

Shepard speaks to Hackett through a vid call filled with static. It's clear he's not yet in a position where communications are reliable. Instructing her to go to Mars, the feed cuts out before she has a chance to ask why.

"Why Mars?" Kaidan asks, echoing her own thoughts. He'd been silent the entire time, watching the interaction with James. The fire that burned in Shepard was back full-force, and he knew not to interrupt.

"I don't know." Shepard says with a sigh, and looks over at Kaidan. He sees despair hiding behind those green eyes, and a fierce anger that is going to take a long time to extinguish. "But we're going to find out." Turning back to James, Shepard stares him down. "Are we going to have a problem here Lieutenant? Because if we are, I don't need you coming along just to give me attitude."

"No, Commander."

"Good. Grab your gear. I need to head up to the bridge."

The slow ascent of the elevator gives Shepard a chance to breathe. Seeing Earth like that had cut her deep. She hadn't grown up there, and has never spent more than a few months on the planet, but it was her home world. It was where her culture and the history of her people was housed and cherished. And it was slowly turning into rubble. The momentary peace allowed her mind to wander, and she fervently hoped that Liara was ok. She hasn't seen or talked to her partner now for six months, and it was setting Shepard on edge.

Arriving in the CIC, Shepard rushes past an unknown marine gaping at her as she stood near the galaxy map's comm terminal. Shepard purposefully walks towards Joker, making a mental note to investigate who that was. When she arrives, Shepard notices two more marines standing on either side of Joker's chair, their assault rifles in hand but against their chest. Hearing the footsteps, both women turn around and come face to face with their new CO. However, since EDI did not provide the change announcement, neither woman knew they were standing in front of their new CO.

"Can I help you?" Westmoreland asks, a slight tone in her voice.

"Oh boy…" Shepard hears Joker mutter under his breath.

"Actually, you can. We have giant space monsters called Reapers attacking this system. They are currently ravaging our home world, and I have no doubt they will soon be in every system in the matter of days. If you think you can help me by providing a solution to this threat, I'm all ears. If not, you can help my by getting out of my way so I can give my flight lieutenant coordinates for our destination, Private." Shepard says calmly. "EDI, how about that change over?"

"Logged: The Commanding Officer is aboard, Commander Shepard has the deck. Lieutenant Adams stands relieved."

Shepard folds her arms in front of her chest and raises and eyebrow at Westmoreland. Realization quickly dawns on her, and the Privates face goes from shocked, to pale, to bright red in her embarrassment.

"Commander. Yes ma'am." She replies quickly, and both women salute, moving aside and backing away past the airlock.

Shepard rolls her eyes as Joker spins his chair around.

"Sorry Commander. They were on board 'guarding' me when we took off. I didn't really want to space them, and they refused to leave me alone."

"Yeah, I know what you mean. My babysitter is on board too, annoying the shit out of me. How you holding up, Joker?" Shepard asks, concern entering her voice.

Joker shifts in his chair at the unexpected question. Shepard was one of the best CO's he's ever had, and made a genuine effort to get to know her crew. She was caring and empathetic, but not usually so blunt about it.

"Ah, I'm fine. The Alliance held me on terrorism charges because I worked for Cerberus, but they didn't really press anything. The heat was directed at you so they didn't need me as a scapegoat this time."

"Yeah, 'heat'. They didn't know what the fuck to do with me. Doesn't matter now I guess. Anderson reinstated me, and now we need to head to Mars on Hackett's orders." Shepard provided.

"Mars? What for?"

"Not sure. We need to get to the archives though before we're totally cut off from this system. I need to go get prepped, let me know when we're five minutes out."

"Yes ma'am."

"And Joker? I'm glad you were onboard. If things are going to hell in a hand basket, I need you in that chair."

Joker blinked at the compliment as it caught him off guard. Usually full of wit and sarcasm, he could do nothing more than provide an honest reply.

"Thanks Commander. I wouldn't want to be anywhere else."

* * *

o.o.o

To: [BLOCKED]  
From: C. Shepard  
Date: September 29th 2186  
Subject: Where are you?

I'm out of Alliance HQ and on the Normandy. I need you to not be on the Shadow Broker ship, it's going to be way too unsafe not being able to get into space. We are heading to Mars, and then I'm going to come and get you.

I love you.

Liara exhaled a breath she didn't know she'd been holding. Reading the message again, she almost cried with relief. Shepard was coming to Mars. No doubt she had received orders from Hackett to retrieve the data on the Prothean weapon blueprints Liara had uncovered. From the sound of it though, Liara surmised that Hackett didn't tell Shepard she was here.

Stretching her legs out as much as she could, Liara worked to ease the cramped muscles in her legs and back. Hiding in the ducts for the last six hours, gradually working her way towards the main exit of the base, has proven exhausting. Rapid gun fire and pleading for mercy followed below her every inch of the way. Cerberus forces were gradually killing every person in their path. She had overheard an officer state that they needed to get to the archives to retrieve the data for the Illusive Man. It was unsurprising to her that they were after the same thing she was; they'd be relentless in their pursuit of her since she crashed her vessel into a Cerberus cruiser.

Fresh determination surged through Liara, and she resumed her slow crawl towards the exit. Moments later, she finds herself above a group of Cerberus troopers.

"Beta team, report to main gates ASAP. We have an unknown force moving towards the entrance. Eliminate hostiles."

A smile forms on Liara's face as she listens to the comm chatter. There's only one person that could be.

* * *

o.o.o

"Holy shit. They're executing them." James whispers into the comm.

Shepard watches a Cerberus trooper shoot an Alliance marine as he kneels with his hands behind his head. Anger bubbles to the surface, and Shepard can feel her biotics light up.

"Orders, Commander?" Kaidan asks quietly. Shepard scans the area and makes note of where each Cerberus trooper stands.

"Vega, on my order, I want a frag grenade thrown into the hostiles on the right hand side. Try and catch them on their right flank. Alenko, reave one of the troopers on the left hand side, and if you have a chance before I get in there, overload that fucker in the middle. That's the one I'm going for."

Shepard waits for a moment longer, allowing the Cerberus troops to unknowingly get in the perfect position.

"Now!"

Out of the corner of her eye, she catches the motions of James tossing his frag grenade into the fray, and Kaidan light up his biotics on her left to cripple one of the troopers. Shepard collects her biotic energy and flies forward, charging into the middle of the group. She sees the spark of electricity overload the shields the moment before she makes contact and smiles at the perfect timing. An explosion rocks the field the instant she sends the trooper flying backwards into a transport. To her right, chaos reigns. The frag grenade was perfectly thrown, and shrapnel flies everywhere. Encased in biotics, Shepard remains unscathed as the Cerberus troopers howl in surprise and pain. She unloads on the trooper to her left, and once she's let her amp cool down a little, charges again into the grunt doubled over in pain from the reave. Another explosion, this time igniting three troopers in blue flame as the biotics explode. James and Kaidan have made it down the hill, and are firing well placed shots into the panicked enemy forces. To her right, she sees another one coming out from behind a transport.

"Contact; behind the transport!" she shouts. The trooper tries to back up to create some distance, but it's too late. Charging a third time, she crashes into him. Employing her new toy for only the second time, she leaps in the air and comes back down with a tidal wave of biotics, cracking the armour of the trooper in front of her. She turns to her right to finish off the remaining enemy forces, but instead watches James' shotgun explode the chest of the last one.

"All clear, Commander." Comes the breathless remark from Kaidan. Shepard scans the area; the ground behind them is on fire, blue flames licking up the side of the transport. A deep well in the ground made by the frag grenade is still smoking, and six dead Cerberus troopers lay all around them.

In response, Shepard laughs. Adrenaline courses through her, and she laughs at the pure release combat gives her. Two well trained marines at her back, and an arsenal of exceptional equipment are making bad-guy elimination amusing.

"You alright there, Commander?" James asks in concern as he switches from his shotgun to his assault rifle.

"Never better, Lieutenant. This sure as shit beats sitting in a room all day. Come on, we need to get into this base."

With Shepard on point, the trio make their way up the hill. A shot rings off her armour, and as they crest the hill, she notices a Cerberus trooper attempting to take cover behind a transport.

"A little mayhem never hurt anyone." Shepard says to herself with a wicked grin. "Contact; flank these fuckers and bring them in for me."

Moving to the left and right, her squad mates shift around in a wide arc in order to flank the enemy. With Shepard taking cover behind a crate at the top of the hill, the tactic will effectively draw fire away from Shepard, and eventually bottle-neck the troopers, catching them like fish in a net. Taking pot shots with her Avenger to keep them distracted, the enemy troops slowly begin to draw inwards, and she waits for her prey. Once Kaidan and James have most of the troopers in the middle, Kaidan lights one up with reave. Her target acquired, Shepard locks onto the trooper with a vicious grin. Charging into him, he explodes with the force of a bomb, and immediately afterwards, Shepard has used the biotic version of a sledgehammer, the nova sending the remaining troopers crashing into transports and rock walls.

"We're good, Commander. Sons of bitches never stood a chance." James provides with a low chuckle.

"What's Cerberus doing here on Mars?" Kaidan asks.

"Good question." comes the guarded reply from Shepard.

"You mean you don't know?"

"How the hell would I know? I'm not with them anymore Kaidan if that's what you're asking."

"It wasn't, but it seems a bit too convenient. They show up just before you get here?"

"We are not doing this now, Major." Shepard states and moves towards the entrance of the base. Finding the control panel, Shepard shuts the door and beings re-pressurizing the room.

"Shepard, I need a straight answer."

Shepard sighs, forcing down the anger she's feeling at the questioning. _Six months of questions, and the second I get back to my ship, I am being questioned again. Constantly. By my own squad._

"Kaidan, I don't know what you want me to say here. I'm not with Cerberus. I don't know why they're here or what they want. I just spent six months as a guest of the Alliance without any communication. I couldn't even talk to Liara for gods sake. Why the hell do you think I would've been stupid enough to try and communicate with a terrorist organization that I'm not even a part of?"

The elevator shifts and starts moving upwards, cutting off the conversation. James paces around in an attempt to appear like he isn't listening. Kaidan removes his helmet and looks at Shepard once she's removed hers as well.

"Sorry Shepard, I just…"

"You just don't trust me. That's fine, I don't need you to. I just need you to make sure you follow orders. I'm done explaining myself to you."

The elevator reaches the top, Kaidan and James assuming their positions on either side of Shepard. With combat momentarily at a halt, Shepard can feel her adrenaline coming down, making her tired and irritable. Disembarking the elevator without another word, the three soldiers move around a transport, their guns primed.

The scene in front of Shepard makes her stop cold. Two Cerberus troopers stand around Liara, as she kneels in front of one of them, hands behind her head. A single tear runs down Liara's cheek as she looks up and sees Shepard. She mouths the words 'I love you too' as one of the troopers brings a gun up and points it at her forehead.

A shot is fired. Commander Shepard shouts with rage as the world around her blisters red.


	28. 21 Gun Salute

Monitoring the communications was a surprisingly taxing job. With the Reapers devastating the system, thousands of requests for aid were coming in from literally every direction. Not only civilian requests, but then heavily encrypted Alliance requests were also filtering through. If it weren't for some creative coding and a creepily helpful VI, Samantha Traynor would have found the task overwhelming.

As it was, she found herself overwhelmed anyways. Eight short hours ago, she was getting ready to go for a quick coffee break with her best friend Sarah. Now, she was just hoping Sarah was alive. Moments of panic gripped her periodically as the thought returned to her mind over and over again; if she had taken that coffee break, and hadn't accidentally gotten distracted over the news of her favourite strategy game releasing a new update, then she would be dead. That, or currently hiding for her life in some dark scary corner of the city, listening to the horrific metallic noises made by the Reapers.

Traynor supresses a shudder at the memory of that sound, and knows it's one she'll never forget. She's already doubting she'll get a good nights rest for a long time. After Horizon, it had taken her months just to be able to go outside for more than five minutes. Nighttime was the hardest. She could only just imagine the terror of being in a dark city with no lights, as the cold autumn rain poured down in Vancouver. No way of knowing if your family and friends are alive. No warm house or soft beds. Just cold rain and colder machines.

But now, she was inadvertently part of the crew of the Normandy. She'd heard stories; every human had. Everybody knew who Shepard was and what she had done. Hero of the Citadel, Saviour of the Galaxy, World Destroyer, Butcher. Traynor doubted the last nickname had any clout. She wasn't sure what Shepard did to deserve that awful name, but was certain it was just some made up propaganda to discredit her. Traynor had been startled at first when she'd heard the elevator door open, and all she could do was gape at the woman practically running out of it. Combat uniform torn and bloody, her black hair loose and falling around her shoulders, and the look on her face was one of extreme irritation. Traynor didn't even have a chance to salute before the Spectre was heading towards the bridge.

Now, as she casually monitored Alliance feeds, she blushed in pure embarrassment. The woman she idolized, the great Commander Shepard, had first seen her while Traynor's mouth gaped like a fish.

"Bloody fantastic, Sam. Well done." She muttered to herself.

"Wow. You've been on the Normandy off and on for six months and you're already talking to yourself. Didn't take you long to catch the crazy." She heard Joker say as he walked up to her.

"Oh, Lieutenant Moreau."

"You can just call me Joker, it's fine. No need to go all formal on me."

"All right, Joker." Traynor replied as she nervously wrung her hands in front of her. So far, the majority of time on the Normandy had been spent at this terminal, or entering coding into the galaxy map while laying underneath it. She rarely interacted with anyone on board.

"So… I'm heading down to the mess hall to grab a bite to eat. Shepard's gonna be a while, and EDI is monitoring Reaper activity, so we'll probably be ok to take a break. Wanna join me?"

"Wait, probably?"

"Yeah. You never know with giant space squids, they might just pop out of nowhere. But EDI will catch them anyways."

Traynor wondered at the reliance of a simple VI to catch something like the Reapers in advance, and was about to refuse the offer; someone needed to have eyes on this, it shouldn't fall to a VI. Should it? However, her stomach made up her mind for her. It rumbled at the prospect of food, and Traynor realized she'd not eaten for some time.

"I suppose I could do with something to eat. Thanks."

Joker and Traynor head in the direction of the elevator, and as the door closes, EDI chimes in.

"Destination?"

Joker laughs to himself. EDI has taken the role of VI very seriously. He liked the old EDI better.

"Deck 3 please EDI."

As the elevator starts to move downwards, Joker looks over at Traynor and notices her blushing.

"It's just an elevator Traynor, nothing to get all worked up about."

Traynor's blush deepens, and even though the defence is going to make her sound even more insane, she feels like she has to defend herself.

"It's not the elevator, it's EDI's voice. It's like silk. Gets me every time." She says, sliding her hands in her pockets and trying to make herself look smaller. Anticipating laughter, she was surprised at Joker's next words.

"Yeah, tell me about it. But she's being quiet right now, just wait until she starts arguing with you."

"I do not argue, Jeff."

"See?"

Traynor laughs at the interaction, and starts to feel more at ease. She is typically nervous in new situations, and she'd only seen Joker half a dozen times in the past six months. She'd also heard he was quite the smart ass, and had no qualms about telling you where to go and how to get there. But now, she realizes that maybe she misjudged him. Without Campbell and Westmoreland following him around, he was less on edge and far more accommodating than the previous times she'd run into him.

Exiting the elevator, they walk towards the auto dispenser. Picking up their trays and selecting their meals with grimaces of disgust, they take a seat at one of the mess tables. A few marines and support personnel walked through. Some greeted Joker, others just causally walked by. Joker noted Traynor's eyes moving back and forth to every person who walked through, and as he took a bite of his sandwich, he commented on it.

"Not used to people eh? It's like your first day at a new school. These guys won't bite or anything."

Traynor looks down at her tray and moves a piece of chicken around with her fork.

"It's less the people, and more the concept of where I am. I've heard stories about the Normandy SR-1 and SR-2. Stories of Shepard, her crew, even you. And now I'm sitting in the mess hall of the most advanced warship in the Alliance Navy, eating dinner with one of the most famous pilots. It's just taking some getting used to, I suppose. Yesterday night, I was sitting on my couch in my crappy apartment watching re-runs of some ridiculous Volus game show. This is all just surreal."

Joker watches Traynor for a moment, not having realized that perspective. He's been on this ship since day one. He knows what they've done and where they've been. And to him, it's normal. Just another day on the job. But to people like Traynor, this ship represents hope, a future, and so much more.

"Well, it's not always awesome. One time I had to fly into a volcano. Ok, not literally, but almost. Then there was this other time we went AWOL. Oh, and then we got blown up. Then Shepard died. But then we came back to a recreated Normandy and we have this sexy voice installed, except it was really creepy at first, having EDI watch and listen to everything we said." He pauses for a moment, chewing thoughtfully. "Sure, we've saved a lot of people, but we've also had to make a lot of hard calls. And they always fall to Shepard. I was the idiot who got her killed, and I spent a year and a half paying for that. But she was the one who died and she still gets shit on worse than anyone. The Alliance wanted to make a martyr out of her. The Council just uses air quotes a lot and tells her to stop being so dramatic. Even some of her friends have just been morons about it." He says, anger rising in his voice.

Traynor listens to Joker speak, marvelling at the way he is being so open with her. The things she's heard about him don't match up to the way he is acting now. Maybe, she thinks, he just needs someone to talk to.

"And now, not even twelve hours after being released, it's starting again. She's off to save the day, and play politician to a galaxy that never listens to her. The Admirals all expect her to keep the peace and solve all these problems. And you know what, Traynor? She can do it. That's why they keep sending her out there. Because she makes it happen. But no one ever thinks of the toll that takes on her."

He finishes his sandwich with a frown as Traynor takes the last bite of her chicken. Joker looks around the mess hall, thankful that there was no one else hanging around in here. He glances over at Traynor, hoping he hasn't pissed her off. She has some kind of hero worship going on, and he doesn't need her getting all high and mighty about it.

"Sorry Traynor, I probably shouldn't have flown off the handle like that. The Normandy is a sign of hope for a lot of people, but it isn't the ship or the crew. It's Shepard. She's the driving force behind all this."

"Jeff?" EDI suddenly comes through the comm, causing Traynor to jump at the unexpected interruption.

"Yeah?"

"Suit telemetry data is reporting a sudden spike in adrenaline above normal combat levels, and a considerable amount of physical stress registering in Commander Shepard's suit. I have also noted a large dosage of medigel being used by Major Alenko, however none of the squad is injured. It appears as though there is a problem."

"Shit. Ok, I'm on my way back up. Keep monitoring that, and let Adams know immediately if you think we need to send in backup."

"Of course."

"I need you back upstairs, Traynor. I want you to monitor comms between the squad mates so we know what's going on."

"Yes sir." Traynor replies. Leaving both their trays, she follows Joker as he hurriedly limps towards the elevator. Her heart rate increasing with every second the elevator takes to reach the CIC, Samantha runs to her terminal as soon as the doors open. Switching the feed to audio as Joker reaches her, she lets it play out loud.

After a few moments of static, the feed picks up. Traynor hears gunfire and the hurried orders of Commander Shepard.

"Kaidan, top left. Don't let them close in on us. James, you have your left flank exposed, find some fucking cover!" There's a brief pause, and Shepard's tone goes quieter. "Don't do this to me. Come on, Li. Wake up." There's a tense moment of silence, while Joker and Traynor listen to the hiss of applied medigel. Shepard's comm goes silent, and Traynor advises that she has switched it off.

"Damn it! Why the hell is she going silent! I gotta get up to the cockpit. If we need to deploy the other Kodiak, someone's gotta open that door. Keep listening Traynor, I'm going to get Adams up here."

Traynor watches Joker's back disappear towards the cockpit as she listens to the rapid gunfire of Major Alenko and Lieutenant Vega, and the silence of Commander Shepard.

* * *

o.o.o

James wouldn't have believed it if he hadn't seen it with his own eyes. The asari kneeling in front of the Cerberus trooper was done for, he was sure of it. A gun only inches away from her head, to be executed the same way the Alliance soldiers had been. Shepard's only movement was to ship her rifle, and Kaidan was frozen in place. And then everything happened at once. He was surprised at the cohesion, considering Shepard didn't say a word. Shepard deployed a pull field, wrenching the arm of the Cerberus trooper. The surprise caused him to fire his gun, and the slug went into the asari's shoulder, knocking her backwards with a cry. The scream of rage Shepard let out reminded him of a wounded animal. At the same time, Kaidan used reave on the other Cerberus trooper. And with a blink of the eye, Shepard was gone. Charging into the trooper in front of the asari, Shepard was vicious in her attack. The charge caused him to stumble, but Shepard's hand shot out and grabbed him by the front of his armour. Her fist glowed blue as she used the force of her biotics to punch the trooper in the face, shattering the visor of his helmet. As he went down, she grabbed her Carnifex, held the man's head by the top of his helmet, and shot him three times through the broken plastic.

By this point, Kaidan was acting, and James followed suit. Moving towards the other trooper, they were not fast enough. With the reave wearing off, he quickly realized he was vastly outnumbered and in serious trouble. Shepard wheeled around, and James thought that she wouldn't need her gun or biotics. The trooper was probably pissing himself and would explode just from the look she was giving him. As he backed away, it gave Kaidan the opportunity to move towards the asari, and he immediately began first aid. James stood behind Kaidan, providing them both cover. But Shepard didn't need it. She stalked towards the solider as he fired a few shots at her. They were deflected by the combination of her armour and biotics, and Shepard shrugged them off. As he took one final step back, James watched as he bumped into a crate and was unable to move any further. Shepard deployed her omni-blade, and charged into him, ramming the blade into his throat and upwards.

James shuddered. The last thing that Cerberus trooper would have seen was the green stare of his worst nightmare.

"Shepard!"

"Move, watch the doorway up on the balcony. Heat signatures moving in our direction." She snapped, and moved to take Kaidan's spot, kneeling on the ground. Liara was breathing, but unconscious. Her heart rate was low, and she was losing a lot of blood. Her face had gone to a pale blue. Shots rang out as Cerberus troops filed through the doors above them.

"Kaidan, top left. Don't let them close in on us. James, you have your left flank exposed, find some fucking cover!" Shepard ordered as she turned to look where the shots were coming from. Turning back to Liara, she looked at the wound on her shoulder. It appeared as though the bullet had gone in and out, but she needed a doctor, and fast. "Don't do this to me. Come on, Li. Wake up." She said, her voice shaking. She applied a dose of medi-gel to try and stop the flow of blood. She switched off her comm, and leaned over her lover.

"I need you in this world. Please don't leave me." Shepard said quietly. She worked to stabilize Liara, everything else in the room going silent. She didn't hear the gunshots, she didn't hear Kaidan's affirmation that there were no more hostiles. She didn't hear Joker's insistent request for a status update. All she heard was the sound of her heart as it beat furiously in her ears. Shepard wrapped Liara's arm up tightly, ensuring that transport wouldn't jar the wound. The medigel and bandages managed to stop the bleeding, and Shepard administered Liara with a dose of painkillers and medication to keep her unconscious. The last thing she needed was to have Liara wake up and move her arm. With Liara stable for the moment, and her heart beating a little stronger, Shepard switched her comm back on.

"Joker, get another shuttle down here ASAP. I need any available medical personnel on that shuttle, as well as a few marines. Liara has been wounded and needs immediate medical attention."

"Shuttle away, Commander." Joker replied seconds later.

"Lieutenant, I need you to stay here with Liara until that shuttle arrives. Escort them back, and then stay with our shuttle. I want you covering our exit in case this gets even more insane. Kaidan and I will head towards the archives and then we'll get the fuck out of here. I've had enough of this place."

"Yes ma'am." James replied, and began speaking on his comm to coordinate pick up with the incoming shuttle.

Shepard looked down at Liara, and noticed some of the colour returning to her cheeks. She brushed the back of her hand against her forehead, and leaned down to kiss her.

"Commander, we have to get moving." Kaidan said after a minute had passed. As she stood up and grabbed her rifle, Kaidan noticed that she was emotionless. No panic, no anxiety. Shepard had placed a mask across her face in order to be able to finish the mission. He realized this whole thing must be killing her.

"Let's move." Shepard replies, and they head off in the direction of the central archives.


	29. Talking To The Moon

A darkness, combined with a haze, encompasses Liara's mind. She tries, but she can't open her eyes. She can hear voices, but they are muffled beyond recognition. Reaching her mind outwards, she tries to find something familiar to hold on to. But there is nothing but emptiness in return. Liara considers the option that she is probably dead. Or, at least, dying. She tries again to open her eyes, but fails. Recalling events in an attempt to place what stage of life or death she is in, she remembers vaguely travelling through vents. Reaching the end, she had jumped down without checking, and found herself in the middle of a Cerberus patrol team. Chiding herself for the foolish action, Liara recalls being hit in her lower back with the butt of a rifle, and is forced to her knees. Then she sees them; Shepard and Kaidan and some other man she doesn't know. She begins to cry as she sees the look on Shepard's face. 'I love you too'. And suddenly, blinding pain occurs after the flash of biotics, followed swiftly by unconsciousness.

Cerberus. They have her.

Goddess, Cora. Did she get caught too?

The muffled voices around Liara become insistent. She can feel hands on her right shoulder and both thighs as someone tries to hold her down. Liara tries again to open her eyes, and this time she succeeds. But she cannot focus. Even her biotics are too weak to do anything. Whatever drugs Cerberus have given her have dulled her senses, and she feels the incredible pain of her left arm. As her heart rate increases, pumping her body full of new blood and diluting the medication, she can hear some of the words being thrown around her.

"She's going into shock…"

"Just relax. You're safe here…"

The words are empty, the voices she doesn't know, and they only cause her more panic. She tries to cry out, to stop the attackers, stop them from injecting her with more medication, but something is obstructing her mouth and throat, and she can taste blood on her tongue. She starts crying in frustration as figures move above her cloudy vision, her breathing escalating to a point where she's sure her lungs will burst. The obstruction is finally removed, and she gasps for air, fighting the urge to retch. She can hear medical alarms wailing beside her head, and that frightens her as much as the strangers grabbing at her.

And then there is a warm hand on her cheek, and the comforting presence of a mind she is familiar with. And as a face comes closer to hers, Liara can finally focus. She sees Shepard, her eyes filled with concern.

"Li, it's ok. It's me, I've got you. You're on the Normandy, and we are en route to the Citadel. I need you to calm down. Can you do that for me?" Shepard says with a soothing voice, completely devoid of everything but love. She reaches for Shepard's hand and finds it in an instant. Trying to speak, Liara finds she cannot get the words past her bruised throat. Instead, she nods, and Shepard smiles at her.

"Atta girl. We need you to stay asleep, it'll be easier on you. They're going to give you another dose of something that'll slow the bleeding down and make you pass out." Shepard runs her thumb across Liara's cheek, wiping away the tears that are slowly making their way down her skin. Liara feels the quick sting of something against her neck, and as Shepard squeezes her hand, Liara starts to lose focus. Her mind reaches out to confirm she's still safe, and once again, her world goes dark.

* * *

o.o.o

After her debrief with Hackett, Shepard had gone down to the armoury to check on James and get out of her suit. She'd slipped on a pair of combat slacks and a tank top, and had headed up to the medical bay. The room smelled sterile, and it felt empty without Chakwas. Liara is in one bed, and Kaidan in the other. She couldn't believe the terrible luck the mission held. Liara shot, and Kaidan almost killed by a Cerberus mech right in front of her. All she could do was watch with disbelief as the mech had burst from the flames and bee lined it for Kaidan. 'You have got to be fucking kidding me' had become the tagline from the mission, as that was all her and James could have said.

"Commander." One of the medics had approached her with a salute.

"Corporal. Can you give me a rundown?"

"Yes ma'am. Major Alenko is in critical condition, but stable. Scans indicate multiple fractures along his shoulders, and his biotic amp appears to have shifted when the mech smashed him against the shuttle. We've sedated him, but brain activity prior to sedation suggested he was unconscious, and likely to remain that way for some time. The asari…"

"Doctor T'Soni, you mean." Shepard interrupts with a frown. _Did this guy not even ask someone what her name is?_

"Uh, yes ma'am, Doctor T'Soni is in non-critical, stable condition. Her wounds are limited to hairline fractures on her posterior hip bones, indicating she had been struck with a blunt object. And of course, the gunshot wound to her shoulder. We've had to intubate as she stopped breathing during transport, and suffered a minor seizure."

Shepard closed her eyes momentarily, willing herself not to cry.

"We have managed to stop the bleeding though, but I would recommend she remain sedated." The corporal states. As he finishes, alarms start to beep at Liara's head. The lieutenant assisting the medic advises that her heart rate has spiked and she appears to be waking up.

"Don' let her move too much, hold her down."

"Doctor T'Soni, please don't move. You're going to hurt yourself more."

Shepard watches helplessly as Liara tries to move her arms and legs. The two personnel move to restrain her, placing their hands on her thighs and right shoulder. This makes Liara struggle more, and she instinctively tries to flare her biotics ineffectively as Shepard resists the urge to punch them both. Liara's heart rate is steadily increasing, and Shepard knows her body will not be able to handle the extra strain. She sees Liara's eyes fly open, and Shepard's just about had enough.

"She's going into shock. Pass me a hypo spray." The corporal demands of the lieutenant. "Just relax, you're safe here." He quickly removes the intubation tube and Liara sucks in a lungful of air.

Shepard moves to her side, pushing the lieutenant out of the way. She can see Liara's eyes trying to grasp onto something familiar as tears fall. Shepard places her right hand on Liara's cheek and leans in closer. Liara's beautiful blue eyes meet her own.

"Li, it's ok. It's me, I've got you. You're on the Normandy, and we are en route to the Citadel. I need you to calm down. Can you do that for me?" Shepard asks as she moves to sit on the bed, placing her left arm across Liara's body to rest her hand on the bed. The alarms gradually start to slow down, and Shepard watches her eyes fill with tears. Liara's hand moves and Shepard latches onto it, feeling the cold trembling caused by fear and pain. She tries to talk, but Shepard can tell it's too much effort. The intubation tube would have bruised her throat. Liara slowly nods instead in response to Shepard's question.

"Atta girl. We need you to stay asleep, it'll be easier on you. They're going to give you another dose of something that'll slow the bleeding down and make you pass out." Shepard looks to her left and nods at the corporal. He places the hypo spray against Liara's neck, and Shepard watches her eyelids slowly droop as she squeezes her hand.

Shepard remains sitting on the bed, holding Liara's hand, gently stroking her crest with the other. The corporal moves away to give them some space as Shepard inhales a shuddering breath. She watches the IV fluid move through the tube and disappear into Liara's veins, as the steady beeping of the machinery keeps her company. Shepard sighs and climbs off the bed, and as she lets go of her hand, she swears she sees Liara frown. Moving to Liara's right side, she sits down in the chair provided. The corporal grabs a chart, and quietly exits the room. Grabbing her hand again, Shepard sits beside her lover, and glances from her to Kaidan. Shepard's tears begin to fall, and she places her head down on Liara's arm with a heartbreaking sob.

* * *

o.o.o

Three hours later, Shepard finds herself waiting in Councillor Udina's office. The meeting with the Council had been less than advantageous. Each race holding up their hands, saying that they need to guard themselves, that each individual border was more important than the galaxy as a whole.

Udina walks in with a huff, irritation at his peers' lack of commitment evident on his face. Shepard didn't like Udina most of the time, but he got the job done. She was sure there were a lot of people in the galaxy who said the same thing about her.

"The Council. You saved their asses, and for what? Empty promises? They don't care about Earth, they never have. They're scared and they're looking out for themselves."

"I get where they're coming from. You can't tell me we wouldn't be saying the same thing if the roles were reversed."

"Thank you, Commander. I'm glad one of you has the sense to realize why we cannot provide assistance right now." Councillor Sparatus says as he enters the room. "Commander, I have a proposition for you."

Shepard glares at the councillor. "Of course you do. You want me to do something for you, don't you Councillor."

"No, I want you to do something that will benefit you. Palaven's Primarch Fedorian is trapped on Menae, one of Palaven's moons. The Normandy is the only ship that can get in and out undetected. If you retrieve the Primarch, you'd have a grateful ally in your bid to unite the races."

Shepard processes the request. He's right, of course. Retrieving the Primarch means that the turians would owe her a debt, whether she chose to hold that over them or not. It would also mean an ally in the fight to come.

"I'll get the Primarch." Shepard provides.

"Thank you, Commander. The Council has also decided to uphold your Spectre status, and various resources will be made available to you. Is there anything else you need?"

"No. I just wanted to tell you I told you so. I told you this would happen and you spent three years questioning me. Three years of shooting me down. And now look who's shown up at our door?" Shepard says with a raise of her eyebrow.

Sparatus' mandibles flick in irritation. "Commander, we can discuss the past later if you'd like. Right now, I need to focus on getting my people out of harms way. Good day."

Shepard glances over at Udina, and moves to leave the room as well. Heading towards the elevator, a reporter calls for her attention, but she keeps walking. She can see James by the window, probably waiting for Shepard out of habit, but she keeps walking. She waits for the elevator to take her to her destination, and once it has, she walks in the direction of the inpatient wing.


	30. I Can't Put Out This Fire

"I don't believe you."

"Why not?"

"Because there is no way a plant can talk."

"Traynor, you've been a lab rat your entire adult life. You can't tell me you haven't seen weird shit."

"Well, I did study the rachni. They do some pretty crazy things."

"Yeah, and so did this plant. Like, it enslaved an entire colony. Turned the colonists into mindless husks that puked up this nasty green shit. That's all you could smell on the Normandy for a week after we left Feros."

Traynor frowns at Joker, trying her best to look unimpressed with him. They were sitting in the mess hall, playfully bantering after shift change. Traynor was scheduled for the night shift, and Joker had just come off-duty. With another half hour to kill, Traynor was enjoying herself. They had formed a friendship in the past week, having to work closely on compiling combat data and flight path information on the Reapers, and subsequently, opposing paths for ships and civilians to flee to safety.

The last week had been a whirlwind of politicians, stops at the Citadel, N7 operations, and trying to locate enough dextro food. With Garrus and the Primarch now on board, they needed the supplies. Traynor found that more of a challenge than the politicians. With supplies in high demand across the entire galaxy, everyone was in dire need of dextro rations given the amount of turian refugees. Surprisingly enough though, random packages were being dropped off, on order from the Shadow Broker. A small transport would request docking, and five minutes later, dextro foods as well as medical supplies would have been delivered. James and Cortez didn't tell anyone other than Shepard, but more than once they found an item that was stamped with the Blue Suns or Eclipse logo.

"Well, I should get going. I need to catch some shut eye. The ship won't fly itself!"

"I can fly quite well on my own. The ship is an extension of myself, after all" EDI's voice rings out through the mess hall. Her physical body spent most of its time on the bridge, which Traynor was thankful for. She'd embarrassed herself enough admitting that she was attracted to a VI's voice, only to then find out EDI is an AI and can understand the innuendos. And then, she goes and gets herself a sexy robot body. Traynor can only handle so much at once.

"Actually, before you go, I have a question. Do you know a Miranda Lawson?"

"Ha, yep. She used to be my boss. Kind of. Former Cerberus, super hot, but can totally kick your ass if you so much as look at her the wrong way. We used to call her the Ice Queen. She almost got her ass handed to her by Shepard once, but I had to go and put myself in the line of fire."

"So, former Cerberus?" Traynor asked, picking up on one of the important pieces of information.

"Yeah, she took off from that, and the Illusive Man has been trying to track her down since. Well, that's what Garrus has told me. He ran into her not too long ago." Joker pauses for a moment. "Why are you asking me about her?"

Traynor contemplates the question for a moment. She _could_ tell him that since she received a message flagged for Shepard a week ago, she's been sending messages back and forth with Miranda. They were currently having a lovely discussion on the theoretical implications element zero exposure would have had on apes. She could also _maybe_ tell him she's developed a slight crush on the woman, even though she's not actually met her. Traynor chalks that down to just pure sexual frustration more than anything else. Instead, Traynor attempts to fib her way through the question. Joker is a notorious gossip, and she does not want her personal life getting around.

"Just curious, mostly." She supplies with an awkward smile.

Joker stares at her, eyes squinting as he tries to figure out why she'd lie to him; he had learned quickly that Traynor was terrible at it. Miranda was as deep-cover as it got. No one would know the name, unless they had once been tied to Cerberus. Which he knows Traynor wasn't. Maybe she saw her name pop up through the message system. Traynor does flag Shepard's messages for her, and it would make sense that Miranda would be trying to track Shepard down. Content with his reasoning, Joker nods.

"Cool. Yeah, Miranda's something else. She was some kind of entitled when we all took over this ship. The Cerberus crew were scared of her, and the rest of us just couldn't be bothered. We're Shepard's crew, not someone else's."

"Aw, you do care." Comes the smooth reply from Shepard as she turns the corner from the elevator.

"Oh hey Commander. Liara's doing ok?"

"Yeah, she is. We're heading to the Citadel to pick her up. The doc is letting her out today." Shepard says with a smile. The constant running to the Citadel and then back out again, combined with the mess that was Menae had taken a toll on Shepard. She looked exhausted, and Joker knew part of that was because of Liara's confinement. Shepard wouldn't rest until she had her close by, instead of all alone in a hospital room.

"Good. Now we just need Tali and Wrex, and we've got all the old crew back."

"Almost all, Lieutenant." Shepard responds with a ghost of guilt crossing her features. "Anyways, I gotta go see Chakwas, make sure we have everything for when Liara comes on board. I'll talk to you guys later."

As Shepard walks into the medbay, and Chakwas closes the shutters, Joker stands up and says goodbye to Traynor. She stands up as well, and heads to work. And hopefully, a new communication.

* * *

To: S. Traynor  
From: [ENCRYPTED]  
Subject: Re: Re: Eezo and Apes

Samantha,

I read the document you sent me, and I have to admit, it's a very interesting perspective to take. Would the apes even know they had biotics, or would they just carry on with their lives? I mean, it's not like they would stop themselves from falling by encasing themselves in biotics, and then draw a logical conclusion from that. Would they?

Regardless, it's a very interesting point of view to take. Thank you for sending me the dissertation.

You know, I'm quite happy that you decided to be so protective of Commander Shepard. Your first communication telling me to, and I quote, "sod off or I'll forward your information to the Alliance brass" was quite emphatic. But it has meant that we could enjoy discussions like this one now that you've calmed down. My current circumstance doesn't allow for much interaction, so I look forward to hearing from you when you have the time.

* * *

To: [ENCRYPTED]  
From: S. Traynor  
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Eezo and Apes

Miranda,

I'm glad you liked it. I always thought it was beneficial to see from the underdogs point of view. Most schools of thought side with the 'apes are very smart and would know' faction, while very few follow the other perspective.

Yeah, if I haven't before, I want to apologize about that communication. Shepard had just gone through something rather horrid, and was incredibly upset. And apparently her crews devotion to her has rubbed off on me. In any event, sorry for being such an arse. If it helps, I wouldn't have sent your information to the Alliance. It was just a bluff.

I was wondering… we have some shore leave coming up in a few weeks. That is, assuming we're all still alive. I think some of us are heading to Purgatory. Would you like to join us? I know you worked with most of these guys, and I'm sure they'd love to see you. Shepard and Liara might be there as well. Anyways, give it a thought and let me know.

* * *

Miranda sits in bed in her rented apartment on the Citadel, nerves suddenly getting the better of her. She's been staring at the communication for about half an hour now, trying to come up with a believable lie to excuse herself. Not that she needed a lie; she was on the run from anyone and everyone that had to do with Cerberus. Going into a very public place was not a good idea. But she couldn't tell Samantha that. She didn't particularly want it known that she used to work for Cerberus, but she _really_ didn't want Samantha to know. She is growing quite fond of the quirky Comms Specialist.

It wasn't that Miranda couldn't think up an excusable lie either. She is very good at hiding the truth. It was mostly that she desperately _wants_ to go to Purgatory. She wants to just let loose and have a few drinks with people she trusts. Besides, Miranda reasons, the fact that Aria is holed up in the bar meant that she has her own security detail guarding the place, and Aria is well aware of who could pose a threat.

With a sigh, Miranda pours herself another glass of wine. It is the Citadel's night cycle, and she lay in bed staring out the window, her back against the head board. She watches the displays running through the Presidium turn from sky blue to a beautiful pink, to a dark blue dotted with stars. Taking a sip of her wine, she sets the glass down, and types her reply to Samantha.

To: S. Traynor  
From: [ENCRYPTED]  
Subject: Purgatory

Samantha,

Thank you for the invite. That would be lovely.

* * *

"EDI, can you test it now please?" Traynor asks. Six hours into her shift and she thinks she has finally managed to calibrate the War Room display properly. She stands in front of it, hands on her hips, while she waits for EDI to transfer the data. Slowly, small pieces of information start to show up. Traynor sees the status of Alliance, turian, and some mercenary ships. She hopes to expand the information once more alliances are set up, but for now, she can only work with what Shepard has achieved. Not that it wasn't monumental. The turian Primarch was forwarding combat data usually reserved only for the Hierarchy, and somehow Shepard has managed to secure the Eclipse, Blue Suns, and Blood Pack groups. The information she sees in front of her makes Traynor smile widely.

"Fantastic. I've got access to what we need for now. Once we get more information, I'll work on establishing information packages for each resource we have available. Each asset will really give Shepard an edge in Reaper killing."

"The data you have compiled is already substantial, Specialist Traynor. It is most likely the most advanced War Room in the entire fleet."

Traynor can feel herself blush at EDI's statement. "Ah, it's not that big a deal." She says dismissively. Crawling back under the display, she works on putting the wiring back in place.

A few moments later, she clamours out from under the console, and gives a satisfied nod. Brushing dust off her pants and arms, she makes her way back towards the CIC. Westmoreland and Campbell have found bunks for the night, so two other marines guard the door. They nod at her as she passes through, but they otherwise ignore her. She pauses outside the door, and once it closes, she sighs deeply. She often volunteers for the night shift; The solitude, the peace and calm that resides here at night is very different from the bustle of the day. She is the only one – rather, the only human – on this level right now. Looking around, she notices most of the monitors are in sleep mode, and the space is lit by softly glowing lights. The odd one displays incoming data packets, but they are muted. Traynor surmises that even EDI herself needs some quiet time. The galaxy map, all blues and sparkling lights, spins slowly while it patiently waits for Shepard's directive. And as her eyes scan over the terminals she and Shepard use, she sees hers light up green, indicating a new message in her personal inbox.

Traynor walks over with her heart in her throat. Up until now, she'd forgotten she'd sent an invite out to Miranda. One reason she had gone to work in the War Room was so that she could distract herself from the eventual embarrassment when Miranda declined. But now, as she read the response, her embarrassment faded, and was replaced with excitement, and then promptly replaced with anxiety.

"Oh. Oh no. I didn't think she'd say yes to that. Ok, just play it cool, Sam. It's not a date, it's just shore leave. It'll be fine. We'll be fine. No need to get all worked up." She says to herself. "It's just to hang out. It'll be completely innocent."


	31. The Reunion

A/N: Not a very long one tonight. I've kind of a hit a bit of a wall, and seem to be lacking a way to drive the story forward to the next part I want to get to. So, if anyone has a cure for writers block, I'd love to hear it.

Tonight's chapter title comes from Aperture Science Psychoacoustic Laboratories (AKA, the Portal 2 Soundtrack. Because I am _super_ nerdy).

Also, thank you to everyone who is following/favouriting/reviewing this story. I'm so glad you all like it as much as you do. I'm always open to ideas and feedback (creative criticism allowed!), so please drop me a line if there's something you want to let me know!

* * *

Garrus walked through the Normandy's mess hall completely at ease. Having served on the Normandy for three tours now, walking around the ship was like coming home. The people changed, but the ship remained the same. He notices a few Alliance personnel salute him, and he nods in response. He wasn't even part of their military, but there were very few Alliance marines and officers that didn't recognize Garrus Vakarian. He was Shepard's right hand, her sound board, and more importantly, her friend. She had appointed him as XO once he had come onboard, and everyone accepted it whole heartedly. It was in stark contrast to the time spent on the Normandy SR-1, when the ship was still brand new and filled to the brim with humans, some of them blatantly anti-alien. Not one to shy away from a fight, Garrus recalls one particular altercation that could have become much more serious if Shepard weren't around.

 _"_ _Excuse me, Navigator Pressly?" Garrus asked after a few moments of waiting for Pressly to notice him._

 _Hearing the obviously turian voice, Pressly turned around from his current conversation with a barely contained look of disgust on his face._

 _"_ _Yes?"_

 _"_ _I'm sorry to bother you, but Commander Shepard mentioned I could give you coordinates for a mission she is helping me with." Garrus continued, ignoring the look he was receiving._

 _"_ _Did she now? Well, I'm sorry, but I'm much too busy to enter those coordinates now. You're just going to have to wait." Pressly replied, crossing his arms and frowning at Garrus. Garrus understood that the body language meant that Pressly was quite done with the interaction. But Pressly himself didn't need to know that._

 _"_ _Really? I hadn't realized that you were busy, considering I had to interrupt you during a conversation you were having about what you did on your last shore leave. You'll have to forgive me, but I didn't realize shore leave conversations took precedence over duties on a human ship."_

 _Garrus had watched Pressly's face turn bright red, in what he assumed was anger. He had slowly uncrossed his arms, and balled his fists at his side._

 _"_ _That sounds an awful lot like you're questioning my integrity, turian."_

 _"_ _That's exactly what I'm doing, human."_

 _Pressly stared Garrus down for a good twenty seconds, contemplating his next move. Before he had a chance to decide whether to swing a punch or just verbally beat Garrus down, Shepard interrupted him from her viewpoint at the top of the stairs._

 _"_ _Pressly. What the fuck do you think you're doing?"_

 _Pressly turned sharply in the direction of Shepard's voice, and saluted smartly._

 _"_ _Commander. How long have you been standing there?"_

 _"_ _If you have to ask, it was long enough. Now, what the fuck do you think you're doing?"_

 _"_ _Just having a conversation with operative Vakarian, ma'am."_

 _Garrus snorts, his mandibles flicking in irritation as he crosses his arms in front of him. Shepard looked from Pressly to Garrus, and then back again._

 _"_ _It had better have been a friendly one, Navigator. I'd like you to know that not a single alien on this ship has complained, but I'm not blind nor am I stupid. I've seen the way you look at Garrus, Tali, Wrex, and Liara when you think I'm not watching. And I've had enough. If you can't fucking get along and deal with the choices I have made as your commander, then I can sure as shit find you a different posting. Am I clear?"_

 _"_ _Crystal, ma'am."_

 _"_ _Good. And Garrus, don't fucking instigate." Shepard says in the same tone she used with Pressly. Though she sided with Garrus, she couldn't have her crew thinking she was playing favourites._

 _"_ _Yes ma'am." Garrus replied_

 _"_ _Pressly, just enter the damn coordinates Garrus has and plot a course." Shepard finishes, and heads off towards the cockpit._

"Garrus?"

Turning towards the sound of the voice interrupting the memory, he sees the familiar face of Liara standing at her cabin door. She looked pale and exhausted, but content. There were still bandages peeking out from underneath her tank top, but for the most part she seemed to be healing quite well.

"Liara. How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine, thank you. A bit tired, but now that I'm home I'll sleep a bit easier I'm sure." She says with a smile. Garrus wonders if she realizes she just referred to the Normandy as 'home', echoing his own feelings towards the ship.

"Good. Did you need me for something?"

"Yes, actually. I'm almost finished setting up some equipment, but I can't seem to get the last few wires in place. Could you help me please?"

Garrus walks towards Liara with a nod, and follows her into the cabin. He quickly realizes that 'some equipment' was an understatement. The entire right wall of the cabin was taken up by monitors displaying most of the galaxy. Four terminals set up in strategic spots not doubt provided varying information, and a VI drone lazily hummed to his left.

"This is quite the setup."

"Yes, well, I'd be a very silent Shadow Broker without data feeds. These are just the most important pieces of equipment. And of course Glyph over there."

"Is it your assistant?"

"In a way, I suppose. Glyph analyzes and catalogues collected data. Its been invaluable in helping me process information for the Prothean device."

Garrus crosses his arms in front of himself and looks at Liara. Just a few short years ago, she was a timid archaeologist, barely speaking to anyone and hiding in her room. Now, she was undoubtedly the most powerful person in the galaxy.

"Damn, T'Soni. You've really grown up."

Liara smiles, and Garrus instantly realizes why the asari standing in front of him was so important to Shepard. Not only beautiful, but intelligent and resourceful as well.

"Right, so where are these wires?" Garrus asks. Liara gestures to a spot underneath a monitor bank. As he crouches down, the door quietly opens, and he hears Glyph greet Shepard.

"Vakarian, what the fuck are you doing in here? You better not be trying to act all suave and steal her away from me with chivalrous deeds." Shepard says with a wink in Liara's direction.

"Act? I don't need to act suave, Shepard. It just comes naturally to some of us." Garrus says with a grin as he stands up to face his friend.

"Very funny. Put your heroic deeds aside for a moment, I need to debrief you on the next mission."

Garrus laughs, mandibles flicking with interest as he leans against one of the terminal desks. Liara frowns at Shepard, a question forming on her lips. Before she can ask it, the door opens again.

"What's going on in here? Why wasn't I invited?" Wrex booms as he strides into the room, purposely making himself look bigger with mock affront. He takes up the entire doorway, forcing everyone else to shift farther into the room.

"Goddess, there is not enough room in here." Liara says, momentarily concerned at how much space Wrex was taking up in her small cabin.

"Are you saying I've gained weight? That's not very nice Liara."

"Of course not, Wrex. And even if you had, it just means there's more of you to love." Liara smiles elegantly, raising an eyebrow marking slightly.

Wrex grumbles for a moment, showing his teeth, before cracking a smile and laughing loudly.

"I knew there was a reason I liked you. Don't worry, pretty blue. I won't knock down your Shadowy monitors."

"Hey now, first Garrus, and now you Wrex? Let's just all try and remember whose girl she is." Shepard says as she slides closer to Liara.

"Bah, I could take you Shepard. I just choose not to. It wouldn't be very fair to you to lose horribly on your own ship." Wrex says, emphasizing his point by slapping Shepard on the back. She stumbles forward a few paces before righting herself, laughter flowing from her.

"Alright, alright. Let's maybe try to focus here." She says, rubbing her shoulder and leaning against the terminal Glyph was floating near. "So, we're heading to Sur'Kesh to retrieve a few high priority persons of interest. Needless to say, the salarians are not happy that we are going to be dropping by, considering it's an STG base we're stopping at. The dalatrass was quite insistent it not happen at all, but she was outvoted."

"Who are we rescuing?" Garrus asks.

"They're the best, and probably last hope for my people and the salarians have been hiding them right under my nose. They have fertile females, and I'm going to get them back."

Shepard watches Liara's mouth fall open and Garrus' mandibles flicker in surprise.

"I had no idea there were fertile females left on Tuchanka. Wrex, that's amazing" Liara says with genuine sincerity. Shepard has to resist the urge to reach out and touch Liara; the honest reaction makes Shepard's heart swell with love for the empathetic and beautiful asari standing next to her.

"It is, although they've had to endure some pretty horrific things. But that ends now."

"It sure does. ETA two hours until we land. Garrus, I want you on the ground team. I'll be taking James as well since Liara is still out of commission. Because the salarians are so pissed off, I want this to be quick and quiet. Wrex is coming too, so I need to try and avoid a diplomatic incident."

"There will only be an incident if they don't hand over the females. If that happens, I can't be held accountable for my actions." Wrex replies without a trace of sarcasm.

"Well, you could always threaten to eat them first before bringing out the guns. That might scare them into cooperation." Garrus remarks dryly.

"Ha! I'm glad you're coming with us, bird brain."


	32. Home

A/N: So it turns out that all you need in order to cure writers block is a half decent sleep and a good day at work. So there you go!

This chapter is rated a strong M for content of a sexual nature. Reader discretion is advised.

* * *

"So much for quick and quiet." Shepard remarked sarcastically as the team boarded the Kodiak. Sur'Kesh had turned into way more than any of them had bargained for. Finding out all but one of the krogan females had died had almost pulled the plug on Shepard's entire alliance. She trusted Wrex, but she also knew he would stick to his word; no female, no cure, no alliance. Finding Mordin had been a boon, and with the health of his patient his number one priority, he had told Shepard he would be joining them on the Normandy.

"Dealing with krogan. No such thing as quick and quiet." Mordin remarked.

"Just like dealing with salarians. No such thing as straight-forward." Wrex returned with a grimace. Shepard had hoped finding one surviving female would make Wrex happy, however it just meant they were that much closer to losing a cure for the genophage forever.

"Hey Lola, you don't think the salarians will come down on us for bringing all hell down on them, do you?"

"I hope not. The fact that Cerberus showed up just after us just solidifies Liara's theory that they are hunting for the same thing. But, on the flip side, they're trying to destroy what we're trying to save. Either way, they're just as much our enemy as the Reapers right now, and this just proves it. The salarians might try to pin it on us considering we were there to retrieve the krogan, but I think Cerberus would've shown up anyways." Shepard says as she grabs on to a handlebar on the ceiling of the Kodiak.

"Correct. Cerberus after a way to stop genophage cure. Would have arrived to kill female krogan, destroy base in process. Presence of your team stopped total destruction of STG base and sensitive information." Mordin stated as he checked the female krogan's vital signs.

"Well one thing's for sure; if you hadn't been there, we would have lost all hope completely. Thank you, Shepard." Wrex said, genuinely thankful and not at all ashamed to admit it. He shook Shepard's hand emphatically, but resisted the urge to smack her on the back.

"Just glad I could help, Wrex." Shepard responds with sincerity.

Garrus clears his throat loudly, eliciting a laugh from Shepard.

"Yeah, you too Garrus. Glad you managed to keep your boney ass alive long enough to help out." Wrex says dismissively, though Shepard knows his thanks is heartfelt.

"Hey, maybe when all this is over, they'll erect a turian monument next to the krogan one in the Presidium." Garrus says.

"Yeah, and maybe when this is all over, varren are able to fly. If that's the case, I'll build the damn monument myself."

* * *

With her debrief complete, armour removed and shower achieved, Shepard makes her way towards her private terminal in the CIC. She'd picked up two new missions since arriving back on the Normandy, and was none to happy about either of them. The rachni threat just added on to the continually growing opposing forces, if they were hostile. Not to mention a bomb on Tuchanka when an alliance was already potentially fragile. She couldn't decide which was worse; the theoretical bomb or the literal one.

"Commander, have you got a moment?"

"Sure." Shepard responds to Traynor's interruption.

"I've found something while scanning Alliance channels. Grissom Academy is requesting help. The Reaper invasion front will hit them soon."

"What can we do? They need an evacuation?"

"A turian evac transport responded to their distress call, so normally I'd say we don't need to do anything. But something sounded off in the turian signal. I had EDI perform an analysis; it's a fake."

"Huh. That sounds familiar." Shepard says sceptically.

"EDI believes it's Cerberus." Traynor supplied.

"Yeah, I have no doubt. If their current MO is anything to go by, they'd naturally just keep running into me. What the fuck would they want with students though?"

"Some of the projects have specific Alliance funding, and the Academy houses students with high biotic, mathematic, and scientific potential. It is possible that Cerberus wants to use those skills for themselves." EDI replies.

"Alright, thanks you two. Put it on the galaxy map, Traynor. We'll investigate as soon as I have a chance."

Shepard spends the next half an hour checking in with her team. She stops by the medbay to chat with Mordin, and the newly christened 'Eve'. Shepard is shocked to learn the methods by which Maelon attempted to establish a cure. The heartbreak she hears in Eve's voice makes her wish she hadn't let Mordin kill him, just so she could kill him herself. Shepard was a big believer in the end justifying the means, but she drew the line at torturing innocents just looking for help. By the time she reaches Liara's cabin, she is exhausted. As she walks in, she sees Liara sitting at one of her terminals, earnestly typing away. She smiles at the sight, her lover dressed in just a tank top and underwear, and knows that Liara has probably been sitting there for hours. Shepard walks up behind Liara's chair, and wraps her arms around her chest, leaning down to place a kiss on Liara's crest.

"Hey you." She says quietly.

"Hello, Commander." Liara replies, her voice dropping an octave lower than normal.

"It's Commander tonight, is it?" Shepard murmurs, placing a kiss on Liara's neck. Liara moves her head to the side, allowing Shepard better access to the sensitive skin as she shivers in response. Shepard traces a finger along Liara's collarbone, and hears the asari practically purr with contentment.

"How is your shoulder feeling?" Shepard asks as she nuzzles into Liara's neck, as her hand lightly brushes along where the bullet wound was.

"Considerably better." Liara replies, stretching her arms above her head to run her fingers through Shepard's hair. "I had one of my last bone regeneration sessions with Doctor Chakwas today, and she has cleared me for light duty. She said she would have a copy of the report for you if you wanted."

"When I see Chakwas I'll probably get a copy, but it'll just get filed away regardless. If the doctor is happy, I'm happy." Shepard says with a kiss to Liara's neck. Straightening up, Shepard takes Liara's hand, gently pulling her away from her monitor. "Speaking of doctors being happy, come lay down with me." She says as she leads Liara to her bed. Liara follows with a smile, and a slight raise of her eyebrow marking.

Shepard crawls onto the soft bed, laying down on her back with a sigh. Her shower had helped with her aching muscles, but there was nothing quite like the soft comfort of laying down on a bed. Liara slides along her left side, hooking a leg over Shepard's thigh. With Liara resting her head on her shoulder, Shepard breathes deeply, marvelling at the peace and quiet she has finally managed to achieve since leaving Earth.

"I feel like I haven't slept in years. I don't think I got more than a couple hours a night since you've been trapped in a hospital."

"At least you weren't the one going for multiple surgeries and bone regen sessions." Liara replies, lightly kissing Shepard's cheek.

"Touché, T'Soni." Shepard replies with a smirk.

"How was Sur'Kesh?" Liara asks quietly, lightly running her fingers along Shepard's arm.

"Textbook, until we needed to land. So really, boarding the Kodiak was about as far as we got in terms of a textbook operation. With Cerberus bombing the place and blowing everything to shit, I would give that mission an A+ for fuckery."

"Garrus told me about Cerberus' appearance. I'm not surprised, really."

"Yeah, me neither. I had just hoped that maybe their intel dropped the ball for once. I'm just glad we managed to get out of there in one piece, and we at least retrieved one fertile female. Mordin's calling her Eve. She hasn't told anyone her real name." Shepard replies, closing her eyes and moving her left arm under her head.

"Yes, Garrus told me about her as well." Liara says, and moves her hand to Shepard's stomach. Subconsciously, Liara pushes Shepard's tank top aside so she can feel the soft skin, and starts lightly moving her fingers in circles as she continues speaking. "He's hoping that an arranged marriage won't be necessary in order to cement the krogan turian alliance."

"Hm." Shepard responds, instantly distracted by the feel of Liara's touch.

"Although that wasn't an uncommon practice on Tuchanka a millennia ago. Clans would often trade females of other clans for better land and territory, cementing a bond between the two. It would effectively stop uprisings, and smaller, weaker clans would do their best to ensure they traded almost everything, including almost all their females, for the protection of a bigger, stronger clan." Liara continued, completely unaware of the impact her touch was having.

"I didn't realize that." Shepard says, willing herself to pay attention to what Liara was saying as the asari's hand accidentally drifts close to the waistband of Shepard's pants.

"My paternal grandfather's clan was actually one of those bigger, stronger clans. The clan itself was enormous, and boasted a population that would rival what Wrex has managed to bring together in the last two years."

Shepard places a hand on top of Liara's, startling her lover.

"Li, I know that was all probably very interesting, but I love you so I'm going to tell you something: I honestly didn't hear half of what you said."

It takes Liara a moment to process why Shepard wouldn't have heard her, and then she realizes the position her hand is in. With a smile, Liara slowly withdraws her hand, and sitting up in one swift movement, straddles Shepard.

"Perhaps we could try having a conversation now?" Liara says with a wicked smile on her face. Shepard can feel herself go cold, followed by extremely warm as her hands instinctively move to Liara's hips.

"I… I don't think that would work." Shepard replies, swallowing hard as her eyes drift downwards to Liara's breasts.

"Hm." Liara responds, an expression of deep thought crossing her face. She absent mindedly shifts her hips slightly, and the grinding motion causes Shepard to shiver.

"Would this help?" Liara asks, as she removes her top. Shepard's breath hitches in her throat as Liara tosses the garment onto the floor, exposing her beautifully sculpted breasts.

"Yes. I mean, no. No, that would not help me carry on a conversation with you. At least not one that's fit for anyone else to hear." Shepard responds quietly, moving her hands up Liara's flat stomach. Before she has a chance to reach her target, Liara is leaning forward, placing her hands on either side of Shepard's head. Shepard stops breathing altogether, and as she slides her hands up Liara's bare back, Liara's lips come down millimeters away from her own.

"How about now, Commander?" Liara whispers. The use of her rank does Shepard in. She leans up slightly to make contact with her lover's lips, and Liara closes the distance, her hot mouth on Shepard's. The kiss is searing, both of them fighting for dominance. Liara's tongue moves to meet Shepard's, and with a moan, Shepard tries to switch positions, but to no avail. Liara redistributes her body weight to counter the movement, and remains straddling Shepard. With a grunt of frustration, Shepard breaks the kiss, and Liara tries to lean back. With at least one victory in mind, Shepard slides her hands down Liara's back, removing her underwear in the process. Liara raises her hips slightly to ease them off. Taking the opportunity, she slides Shepard's trousers down at the same time. Once she is repositioned and straddling Shepard again, she glides her own hands up Shepard's stomach to remove her tank top. Another garment tossed aside, Liara drinks in the sight of her Commander's upper body. Flat, muscular stomach, perfect breasts and strong arms, yet still entirely feminine.

Shepard reaches upwards, cupping Liara's breast in her hand as she gently squeezes her nipple, causing Liara to cry out. Her other hand slowly moves down Liara's hip bone, determined in her singular goal. Liara moves her hips in anticipation, and Shepard glances up to look at Liara's face. Her eyes are half closed, and she is biting her lower lip as she looks down at Shepard. Liara brings her hand up to meet Shepard's, replacing her lovers hand on her breast with her own blue one. With a sharp intake of breath, Shepard finds what she's been seeking. Touching the soft folds of Liara's sex causes a soft cry accompanied with an arching of her back. Shepard's fingers feel the wetness between her lovers legs, and she follows the source of the heat. Slowly penetrating, she hears Liara gasp and watches as Liara squeezes her own breast in return. Liara's other hand comes down to join Shepard's, their fingers twining together. Shepard raises her hips, and the contact of Liara's knuckles against her own sex sends her closer to the edge.

They soon achieve a steady rhythm, and Shepard watches the increasing rise and fall of Liara's chest as her breathing becomes more laboured, soft cries escaping her lips. Just as Shepard's thumb finds the sensitive nub hidden among Liara's folds, Liara cries out, urging Shepard to embrace eternity. With a swift assent, Shepard feels Liara's mind, feels the waves of cascading pleasure wash through her as if they were her own, and slowly tips over the edge with her lover, crying out in both mind and body.

With heavy breathing, she can feel Liara float downwards in her mind, as they slowly reconnect after months apart. Twined together, each link of their bond appears to become harder and more absolute. Shepard can feel the aftershocks of her lovers climax, both in her mind and through her body, and as she slowly withdraws, Liara pulls her mind back. Looking into Shepard's green eyes, still hazy from their love making, she feels her entire self drawn towards the woman underneath her. With a smile, Liara leans down and kisses Shepard. Their tongues lazily meet, and Shepard runs her hands up Liara's silky back.

"I need more of you." Shepard says with a reverent whisper.

"Yes, Commander." Liara counters with a smile.


	33. Live It Out

A/N: Sorry it took so long to get this up here. I know I usually post every day, but yesterday I had to help some friends move. And then when I got home, I had to watch Game of Thrones. Seriously, if you watched that episode last night, how uncomfortable was that?

Thanks to everyone reviewing and telling me how much you like this stuff, especially author Convergence-Eternal and reader jessturr88. Your feedback and support has been invaluable.

* * *

Shepard slowly wakes up hours later, wrapped up in blankets in Liara's soft bed, sighing contentedly. She stretches an arm out and doesn't feel Liara, but she can feel the presence of her close by. As her mind slowly pushes consciousness to the forefront, Shepard can tell that there is a bright light pressing against her eyelids. Opening one eye, she confirms that it is a sunrise. With a frown, Shepard opens her other eye to get a better view, and notices through Liara's window that they are orbiting a planet. The Normandy is tilted in such a way that the sun is just cresting over the orbit of a planet in the Eagle nebula, sending a cascade of light into the cabin. Shepard smiles, and closes her eyes again. The sun on her face was a rare thing to wake up to, and although she could not feel the heat of it, it still brought a calming feeling.

Opening her eyes with another sigh, she sits up to look out the window, languidly stretching her muscles. The verdant green of the planet below glowed below the brilliant sun, and blue oceans twined among the continents. The atmosphere had none of the smog and dust that Earth held, and there were only a few satellites here instead of the thousands orbiting her home planet. The colony world itself looked peaceful as it basked in the steady glow of its star, and Shepard watches as the sun slowly crests above the horizon, the Normandy following the pull of the planets orbit. Looking around the cabin, Shepard notices that the clothes that were haphazardly tossed on the floor the night before had been picked up, and the info drone hovered near a terminal. A glance to her right at the clock advises her of the time, and she slowly makes her way out of the bed. _0700 is as good a time as any. Maybe someone has coffee on._

Shepard finds some shorts and her hoodie, and pads barefoot towards the door. The drone to her right startles her with its cheery greeting, and she silently moves into the mess hall. The wafting scent of coffee hits her nose, and she pauses at the doorway, hearing Liara's voice.

"Why don't you think it's a good idea?"

"Well, we live two very different lives. Plus I haven't even talked to her in months."

"I'm not so sure that means much, Garrus. Shepard and I hadn't talked in months, and it was like we'd never been apart."

"Yeah, but you didn't see the way she looked at those Cerberus goons when they had you, Blue. She's got it bad for you, and I bet she'd be willing to take out the entire galaxy just to make you happy. You and Lola are something else." Shepard hears James' two cents, a slight frown creasing her brow at the memory.

"I appreciate that James, but I doubt Shepard would eliminate a galaxy just on my whim."

 _Probably. That sounds like something I'd do._

"Maybe, if you asked real nice. But that's the kind of bond you two have. Tali and me… well, I doubt she's even thought of it before. It's probably a stupid idea anyways, although with my roguish good looks, she wouldn't be able to do better." She hears Garrus say with a chuckle.

"Yeah, that's the spirit, Scars. But how do you… uh… y'know? How would that work, exactly. Hey, don't look at me like that Traynor, you know you were thinking it."

"I'm not sure what 'that' is, Vega. What d'you mean?"

Shepard decides it's now an appropriate time to enter the mess hall, if only to save James from the incredibly awkward question he's asked Garrus. She strolls in, but the only one facing her is Liara. Garrus and James have their backs to her as they sit at the table, and with a wink in Liara's direction – and an adorable blush as a response – Shepard practically walks into Traynor on her way to the coffee pot.

"Oh, sorry Traynor. Didn't see you there." Shepard says, causing James and Garrus to look over at the sound of her voice.

"Commander. Oh, it's no trouble. I probably shouldn't have been standing directly in the way anyways. But good morning." Traynor replies awkwardly, her face having gone bright red at nearly bumping into Shepard. She cocks an eyebrow at the extent which Traynor accepts the apology, and watches as she practically runs to take a seat beside James.

"Lola! You missed breakfast! I made some of my famous eggs."

"To be fair, Liara didn't have any, and I can't. So the validity of the 'famous' portion of that sentence is to be questioned." Garrus replies dryly.

Shepard smirks as she grabs a coffee, and walks over to where Liara is sitting. Standing behind her lover, Shepard places a hand on Liara's shoulder as she deposits a quick kiss on her crest.

"What's going on with everyone this morning? Anyone off duty today?" she asks as she takes a seat and a sip of her coffee.

"Nah, Esteban and I are gonna be fixing up the Kodiak today. She took a couple shots on Menae, so we just want to get those patched up. Then we'll probably be running through our current stock for ammo and weapons, and send in those armour repairs and paint job you needed."

"Thanks James. Yeah, I need that armour back ASAP. I quite like it." Shepard says as she leans back in her chair. Completely at ease with the people around her, Shepard lets her guard down for the first time in almost a year. She stretches her arm out to rest it on the back of Liara's chair, lightly touching the back of her lovers neck. She has to hide the smile when she sees the shiver the contact causes.

"That's a nice set of armour. Must've cost a fortune. I think the visor is more advanced than mine." Garrus says with a hint of jealousy in his voice.

Liara leans forward slightly to avoid becoming more distracted, and casually glances over at Traynor. She watches the woman's eyes glaze over in what appears to be pure exhaustion.

"Specialist? Are you just coming off duty?" Liara asks. Traynor blushes slightly once she realizes all eyes are now on her.

"Uh, yes. I finished up an hour ago."

"Why haven't you found a bunk yet?" Shepard questions, taking another sip of her coffee.

"I may have volunteered to pick up another shift…" she responds quietly.

"Hey, Mouse, that's not good for you. You just finished a twelve-hour shift, you can't go back to another one." James provides. Traynor's blush deepens, and Shepard frowns. She realizes that they are short-staffed in the communications department, and with just the crew that were on-board when the Reapers hit, it was hard to find enough people to cover the work. But two twelve-hour shifts in a row was just going to cause burn-out. And when the person responsible for planning and organizing strategic intel was dead tired, there were a lot of things that could go wrong.

"Traynor, you're not going to take that shift. You're going to go find a bunk for a few hours, and then you're taking the rest of the day off. And so help you if I find you within ten feet of a communications terminal, the galaxy map, or the War Room." Shepard instructs, her tone bordering on her command voice. Liara watches the look that passes on Traynor's face; it appears to be a mix of genuine thanks, and a little bit of disappointment.

"Yes ma'am." Traynor eventually concedes with a sigh.

"Good." she says with a nod in Traynor's direction. Redirecting her attention to the table, Shepard continues. "I've got some meetings with the Council today, which will most certainly take a good ten hours considering how fucking fast they move. And I need to check the Spectre terminal and retrieve my engineers. I don't know why Daniels and Donnelly ended up on the Citadel since they were detained on Earth, but it's probably best to not look a gift horse in the mouth."

"So no ground missions today?" Garrus asks.

"No, I just won't have the time. It'll be a good opportunity for everyone to take a day to get what they need done. We can re-stock, grab some fuel, personnel such as Traynor can take an afternoon to just relax. Garrus, could you get me a list of people who have pulled double shifts or otherwise have just not had a chance to get a proper sleep? I want those people on mandatory time off today. EDI can pick up the slack, and the rest of the ground team will be on board anyways. If you could get that to me by 0900, I'd appreciate it."

"Sure thing Shepard."

Shepard pauses and takes a sip of her coffee. A few more of the crew have made it into the mess hall, grabbing coffee and chatting casually. Chakwas is leaning against the wall of her domain, idly chatting to Adams, and Shepard knows it won't be long before Wrex shows up, determined to get the krogan equivalent of coffee. She's sure that the equivalent is, in fact, just battery acid.

"Alright, I gotta get moving." Shepard says as she stands up, finishing off her coffee. "James, let me know how repairs go on the Kodiak and if there's anything I need to grab while I'm on the Citadel. Garrus, maybe I'll just do a ship-wide twelve-hour shore leave. I don't want anyone burning out, especially since it's been non-stop since we left Earth a week and a half ago. I'll make that announcement in a moment before anyone has a chance to actually do anything."

"Yes ma'am."

"Traynor, go to bed. That's an order." Shepard says to an almost passed out Specialist. During the impromptu debrief, she'd tried her best to pay attention, but instead only accomplished a gradual lowering of her head as she started to doze off.

"Mmm, yes ma'am."

Liara glances up at Shepard, her lover casually doling out the most mundane orders, but completely at ease with her command. Liara often marvelled at the ability Shepard has to command a room, both with orders or just mere presence. She stands now in shorts, a hoodie, and her hair still a little messy, but there's not a single person around her right now that wouldn't instantly follow any directive she gave them. Liara smiles, the pull she feels towards Shepard gradually reminding her of the night before. She feels her heart rate increase, and decides that she needs to get back into her cabin with Shepard.

Standing up, Liara looks at Shepard with a raised eyebrow marking. "Would you mind following me, Commander? I need to discuss something with you."

Raising her own eyebrow in return, Shepard takes a moment to register that Liara had just given her an order. Quirking her head to the side, she catches on to where Liara is going with it, and a smile spreads across her mouth.

"Sure thing Li. Gentleman, keep me updated. And seriously, Traynor. Go to bed!"

* * *

o.o.o

An hour later, and Shepard is casually strolling towards Joker. So far, her morning had been wonderful. It was rare, since leaving Earth, that Shepard got a chance to just relax. Not that she minded; there was a war on. Reapers were ravaging every single living thing out there. Millions of people were being indoctrinated or worse. But, she was only human. And there's only so much one can do on four hours of sleep after back to back missions. She needed the break, and knows her crew does too.

"Morning, Shepard. We should be making our jump into Widow within the next half hour." Joker says pre-emptively as Shepard walks up to stand behind his chair.

"Great, thanks Joker. I'm going to make an announcement; I want everyone off duty today. I found out this morning that Traynor's been pulling shifts back to back, and I have no doubt everyone else is too. Why didn't anyone tell me this?"

"Well, when you're ground side fighting Reaper troops and saving Primarchs, it's not really something we want to bother you with. No one is complaining, they all know how important their job is."

"Regardless, I need to know these things. I'm going to have to appoint someone as CPO just to manage this."

"Good idea, Commander. We need one to keep an eye on things. And people. This guy though," Joker says, pointing to himself as he turns his chair around, "I don't need anyone to manage me. What I'm doing now, this is 98% of my job. I just watch buttons flash. Sometimes I press one."

Shepard smiles in response, and opens a ship wide comm channel.

"Crew, this is Commander Shepard. We are en route to the Citadel, ETA half an hour. It has come to my attention that some of you may be pulling double shifts in order to make sure everything is running smoothly. Though I appreciate your dedication, I cannot have any of you burning out. We have an important job to do here, but we can't do that effectively if we're falling asleep at our posts. Once we reach the Citadel, everyone is on a mandatory twelve-hour shore leave, no exceptions. Please report to your Staff Sergeant to be granted the leave and sign-off from the ship. Enjoy your day, and report back to docking bay D-24 at 2200. Shepard out."

* * *

o.o.o

Traynor opens her eyes, and checks the clock beside her bunk. Shooting upright with a gasp, she realizes she's slept far longer than she intended to. Jumping out of bed, she throws the covers back and walks hurriedly out of the room. The ship is eerily quiet; the engines are off, there is no one in the mess hall, and most of the lights are dimmed. There is some kind of chattering going on in the med-bay, but upon closer inspection, she realizes it's just Mordin singing to Eve. Memory quickly comes back to her sleepy brain that they are docked at the Citadel, and Shepard has told her to take the day off. With a frown, Traynor heads to the elevator and hits the button for the CIC. Once the doors open, her eyes are instantly drawn to her terminal. The light is flashing green, calling to her.

"I'm not touching you. Don't you flash at me like that. I'm not supposed to come anywhere near you." She says to the inanimate console.

"Specialist, you have been signed-off for duty today, and your Staff Sergeant being Commander Shepard, has been made aware of your imminent departure from the Normandy."

"Um, thanks EDI. Although I honestly do not know where to go." She replies, suddenly feeling vulnerable. She's only been to the Citadel once in her life, and that was a week ago to purchase a toothbrush. She certainly didn't have the chance to walk around.

"Might I suggest the Presidium? There is a lovely spot that Liara frequents overlooking the lakes, and there is a nice café there that serves all manner of food and drink." The AI responds helpfully. "There is also the SilverSun Strip, that features a casino as well as arcade games and a combat simulator."

Traynor snorts at the mental image a combat simulator provides. She doesn't even have armour, let alone a sense of how to shoot a gun.

"Thanks EDI. Maybe I'll just head to the Presidium. Knowing my luck, I'd end up shooting myself accidentally if I went into a combat sim."

Half an hour later, Traynor finds herself amid dozens of people, from various races, as she walks through the Presidium. EDI was right; the view of the lake was gorgeous. Trees shifted lightly in the artificial breeze, and birds jumped from branch to branch, singing their delicate songs. She breathes deeply, feeling herself relax. It was all so calm here, and it almost felt like an insult. The things Traynor has seen and heard over the last week and a half would, and have, made seasoned marines pale. And yet here, it was untouched. No panic, no chaos, hardly even any mention that there's a war on. Traynor listens to two salarians in a heated discussion over some Dalatrass that has gone missing, and an asari gracefully walks by her, clearly in deep reflection. The difference in the tone of this place compared to the Normandy is startling.

Having made up her mind to actually buy something nice for herself, Traynor heads in the direction of the elevator in order to head to the wards. Looking out the windows to her left as she walks past the apartments, Traynor finds herself making contact with someone as she bumps into them quite hard.

"Oh, god, I am so sorry. I had my head in the clouds and wasn't paying attention."

"It's alright, I shouldn't have been walking and reading a data pad anyways." Comes the smooth reply from the woman Traynor had crashed into. Looking at her, Traynor freezes. This woman is gorgeous. Raven black hair, alabaster skin, and piercing blue eyes threaten to make Traynor's heart stop. She realizes she's gawking, and quickly composes herself. The woman is watching her, an amused expression on her face as she crosses her arms in front of her.

"Um, yes, well, sorry again. I hope I didn't hurt you." Traynor says with an embarrassed blush.

"Not at all, Specialist."

Traynor frowns, wondering how this woman knows who she is. She isn't wearing her uniform, only casual crew clothes. She's never been here before, and would certainly have remembered meeting the woman standing in front of her. Especially with that accent, Traynor thinks to herself. Curiosity getting the better of her, Traynor can't resist starting a conversation.

"Right, so that's odd that you know who I am. But, I guess since we've basically tried to run each other over, it's only polite to introduce ourselves I suppose. I'm Specialist Samantha Traynor, it's nice to meet you and I'm sorry I bumped into you." Traynor says, holding out her hand.

"I'm not." comes the reply from the beautifully shaped lips. "Miranda Lawson. It's nice to finally meet you, Sam."


	34. Awake My Soul

"I'm sorry, I may have misheard you. Could you repeat that please?" Shepard asks, sarcasm dripping from her voice.

"We want to hold them for a bit longer, ma'am." The C-Sec officer advised in reply. Shepard folds her arms in front of her, raising her arm to pinch the bridge of her nose. As was tradition, the meeting with the Council had taken a frustrating turn. Councillor Valern was livid at even the idea of a genophage cure, however he was unable to do more than berate Shepard for her short-sightedness. Now, attempting to retrieve her engineers was even more frustrating. The C-Sec man sitting at the desk in front of her was being unreasonably obstinate, barely even looking at her as he replies.

"What the fuck for? They're my engineers, and I need them for a sensitive mission." Shepard states, looking back at the officer.

"Ma'am, I'm not sure. The directive came from higher up. All I know is, the hold order for Engineers Daniels and Donnelly has not been removed, and without that hold order lifted, there's nothing I can do." He states forcefully. "Now, if you don't mind, I'd like to get back to this paper work."

"Look, I know you're just doing your job. But so am I. I'm walking out of here with those two engineers at my side. You want to stop me? That's your prerogative. Just remember: I'm a Council Spectre, and I can literally shoot you for any fucking reason. In fact, I happen to not like the way you did your comb over today. Maybe I'll shoot you for that." Shepard says nonchalantly.

She watches as the man in front of her scowls, and after a pause, stands up. "If you'll just wait here, I'll go and release the engineers for you."

Moments later, a very happy looking pair of engineers come walking towards Shepard, and a very cranky C-Sec officer follows behind. Shepard smiles when she sees the pair, and greets them warmly with a handshake.

"Commander, thank you. I didn't think we were ever getting out of there. I thought for sure that everyone just forgot about us." Daniels says as the C-Sec officer quietly hands them both forms to sign.

"Yeah, I know what you mean. What're you guys doing here anyways? I thought they arrested you and kept you detained on Earth?"

"Ah, they didn't know what to do with us. We'd properly resigned from the Alliance, and considering our involvement on the Normandy, it was clear to them that two little engineers couldn't have done much in the way of terrorizing people or running experiments on aliens. They shipped us here a few months after detainment so that C-Sec could prosecute us as civilians since the Alliance couldn't court-martial us."

"I told ye we should've just stayed on Omega." Donnelly chimes in after handing the forms back with a frown.

"And let you run loose with all those asari maidens? Yeah right." Daniels says with an elbow to Donnelly's side. Shepard has to hide a smile; she wasn't sure how it wasn't obvious to these two that they clearly had feelings for each other. _But, I guess it took me forever to clue in to the fact that Liara had feelings for me._

"Well, I'm glad I could get you two out of here. The Normandy is docked in bay D-24, though we're not shipping out for another six hours. If you need to grab anything, now's your chance. EDI knows you're coming aboard, and engineer Adams will be your Staff Sergeant. Any questions?"

"No sir. Just, thanks." Daniels says with a genuine smile. Shepard can't help but smile back as she watches the two engineers head towards the elevator.

* * *

o.o.o

Traynor was spellbound. Not only was Miranda gorgeous, but she was incredibly grounded as well. She had a fierce mind that captivated Traynor, and her stunning eyes missed nothing. They sat at Apollo's, enjoying a drink. Miranda sipped at a glass of wine, while Traynor had her first pint of beer in what felt like years. It hadn't taken Traynor long to figure out why the Cerberus crew called her the Ice Queen. She was polite and to the point, but she carried herself with an air of superiority. It was making her a little nervous, but Traynor knew this was a façade, a way to protect herself. She knew there was more to Miranda Lawson, and she wanted to figure her out. To Traynor, she was a strategy game. A beautiful, sexy, badass strategy game.

"How are you enjoying the Normandy?" Miranda asks, interrupting Traynor's train of thought.

"It's incredible. It's as though all of the most advanced tech is jammed into one small frigate. And EDI? I never thought I'd say that I was friends with an AI. She's truly amazing. I still can't believe it sometimes; I'm serving on the Normandy, working closely with Shepard and her team. If it weren't for the circumstances that forced us together, I would go as far as to say that I'm extremely lucky." Traynor says, and Miranda can see the look in her eyes. It's the same look of wonder she saw in everyone; Jacob had it, so did Kelly. Miranda feels a brief pang of loss at not being there herself, and most nights she contemplated just asking Shepard if she could come back. But then she remembers Oriana, and the reason she has to live like a fugitive.

"Well, that's probably enough about me. I've talked your ear off, no doubt. I tend to get a bit chattier when I'm nervous." Traynor said before she could stop herself.

"Why are you nervous?" Miranda asks, taking a sip of her wine.

"Ha, no reason. Just that you're not at all what I expected. But seriously, enough about me. Where did you grow up? Australia obviously, but are your parents still there?"

Miranda regards Traynor with curiosity. Up until now, she's steered the conversation in such a way that Traynor was doing the majority of the talking. Miranda wanted it that way. The less she had to answer about her past, the better. But there was a keen intelligence lurking in Traynor, and the more she spoke, the more Miranda was sure of it. She found it endearing the way Traynor shuffled in her seat prior to answering a question, but what truly grabbed Miranda was when Traynor talked about something she was passionate about. Her eyes lit up, and she stopped being nervous for a few moments. Miranda enjoyed the transition.

"I did grow up in Australia, yes. I never knew my mother, and my father and I kept a kind of… formal affiliation. Not the typical father/daughter relationship, certainly. He ran his business, and I completed my studies, and that was that."

"And was it after you completed your studies that you joined Cerberus?"

Miranda froze. She studied Traynor's face for any hint of an angle, but she couldn't seem to locate one. Traynor's soft brown eyes regarded Miranda with steady curiosity, and Miranda suddenly found herself slightly on edge. Before this line of questioning, she knew she had the upper hand. Even in a casual conversation with someone who just happened to be as attractive as Traynor is, Miranda liked knowing she had the advantage. But now, she wasn't so sure. Accepting the question for what it was, even against her better judgement, Miranda decided to proceed with the truth rather than end the interaction altogether.

"Yes. Shortly afterwards I received an employment offer that was too good to pass up. How is it that you knew about that?"

"I've learned a few important lessons while working on the Normandy: one, don't get in Wrex's way before he has had his krogan coffee, and two, don't trust Joker with any information you don't want spread around." Traynor supplied, curious at the reaction Miranda obviously had towards the question.

"Damn it. That mans mouth flies faster than the ship he pilots." Miranda says with frustration. Traynor laughs, and the sound of it makes Miranda feel slightly more at ease.

"Yeah, it does. But either way, it doesn't really matter, does it? You did what you believed was right, and you were no doubt incredibly good at doing it. The organization you worked for isn't a reflection of who you are as a person. Joker worked for them, but he doesn't go around murdering people. He's a good person, even if he can't keep a secret to save his life. Miranda, you aren't a bad person. Even if you've been steering the conversation away from yourself this entire time and making it so that I don't shut up." Traynor finishes with a sly smile. "Did you think I wouldn't notice? I do enjoy a good game of chess, so I am quite familiar with distraction techniques."

Miranda tilted her head to the side, spinning her wine glass by the stem while she processed the statement. This entire time Traynor had been aware of what she was doing. She was also aware that Miranda had been part of Cerberus. And even with both of those things, she still continued to sit and talk. This woman was going against everything that Miranda supposed of her. And she liked the challenge.

"Honestly, I didn't think you would notice. I'm afraid I'm not very good at social interactions. I tend to evaluate a situation rather critically, which doesn't leave room for much emotion. I'm sorry, Sam. I underestimated you." Miranda replied sincerely. She was slowly starting to lower her walls much faster than she anticipated. But instead of scared, it made Miranda feel free.

"That's alright. I use it to my advantage. No one suspects the quiet, innocent one to win a match." Traynor replies as she finished her beer.

"Of chess?"

"Or social interaction. Either one, really."

"Hm. Well, maybe we should play."

"Chess, you mean?"

Miranda raises an eyebrow in response and finishes her wine.

"It'd be more fun than playing with EDI. EDI doesn't sweat."

"You sweat playing chess?"

"Depends on how much fun we're having." Traynor finishes with a grin.

She watches Miranda places her wine glass down on the table and stands up, a smirk crossing her lips. She approaches Traynor and leans down, placing a hand on the table inches away from her own. Traynor feels her heart pick up its pace as the petite brunette leans towards her, the soft scent of Miranda's skin invading her senses. Miranda leans farther forward, placing a ghost of a kiss against Traynor's cheek. She leans back again, and Traynor watches her silky blue gaze go from her lips to her eyes.

"Next time you're on the Citadel, let me know. I've got a chess board in my room, and I'd love to play with you." Miranda says with a small smile.

"I'd like that. I'm glad we had a chance to bump into each other."

"I am too."

* * *

o.o.o

With the impromptu shore leave coming to an end, Shepard boards the Normandy a good hour before everyone else is required to report back. Joker is already onboard, walking towards his chair with a coffee in hand. He greets Shepard with a sarcastic remark about the amount of walking the Citadel requires, and sits down with a huff. Walking towards the CIC, Shepard catches a few crew members walking around, most of them working their way to the crew quarters to change for their shifts. Her private terminal is flashing green, and she notes that Traynor's is as well. It's only been just over a week, but the space already looks emptier without Traynor occupying it, since Shepard was so used to seeing her there.

Shepard enters the elevator, asking EDI to take her up to her cabin. She enters her space, placing a few items she'd purchased today down on her desk. Feeding her fish that Kelly had thoughtfully kept safe for her, she watches them dart back and forth between the fronds of artificial plants. Hearing a knock on her door, promptly followed by an entrance, Shepard glances over to watch Liara walk towards her.

"Shepard, how was your day?" Liara asks quietly as she wraps her arms around Shepard's neck.

"Better now." She replies as she leans down to kiss Liara with a smile, pulling Liara closer by her hips.

"Well, I received some good news today." Liara says after breaking the kiss.

"Oh?"

"Chakwas cleared me for full duty. My shoulder has healed up well, aside from the scar. And my lower back shows no signs of trauma." She provides as she runs her hand up the back of Shepard's neck.

"That's great Li. As much as I would prefer to have you stay here safe and sound, you're invaluable to me out there. Without another biotic, I can't make giant explosions happen as often, and you know me and my giant explosions."

"So romantic." Liara says with a smile, and a kiss on Shepard's cheek. Stepping away with a smile, Shepard moves to the couches facing the fish tank, Liara following behind. Shepard takes a seat, with Liara straddling her legs, placing her arms around Shepard's neck again. Their lips meeting with a slow burn, Shepard's hands trailing up Liara's back. Liara pulls back and looks at her lover. The day off had done wonders. Shepard had told her about the meeting with the Council, and the C-Sec officer, but for the most part Shepard appears to have been able to relax.

"Would you like to watch a vid?" Liara asks, as Shepard kisses her cheek.

"Nah."

"I could read you one of the papers that have been published about Prothean architecture."

"Nope." Shepard replies, trailing a kiss down Liara's neck.

"What then?" Liara asks breathlessly as Shepard undoes the button at the top of Liara's jacket, lightly kissing her pulse point.

In one swift movement, Shepard picks up Liara, her hands cradling Liara's backside as she walks towards the bed, their lips meeting as they tumble downwards into the soft blankets.


	35. The Good Soldier

A/N: Today, I reached 5,000 views. You guys are incredible and wonderful and weird all at the same time. I'm still trying to wrap my head around the fact that people like what I'm writing, and that you're continuing to read it. Thank you!

 **I'm giving this chapter a rating of a strong M for sexual content.** Potential triggers due to the nature of the scene, so reader discretion is _seriously_ advised.

* * *

Shepard stood amongst the rubble of Tuchanka, dead Reaper troops scattered everywhere. She listens to the speech Tarquin Victus was giving to his men with a frown, concern etched in her features. It had become clear to her once she had found Victus why their mission had gone south; a bad call made by an inexperienced lieutenant at the cost of his men's' lives. Shepard understood sacrifice. She understood what it meant to make a decision and ask her crew to follow her command until death. But her sacrifices were made with careful calculations, or to save the lives of millions. This call was just one of pure panic. Shepard wasn't surprised his men were so pissed off.

"Commander, come with us. We're a shell of what we once were. We could use the help."

"Send me the coordinates. We'll meet you there."

Tarquin salutes, and heads off with his men in the direction of an operable shuttle. Turning around, Shepard sees Liara and Garrus in quiet conversation, and as she approaches Liara, she sees that the asari is much more pale than she has any right to be.

"Liara, you alright?"

"I'm fine, Shepard. Just not used to the exertion. It's been months since I've fought with you. You keep a pretty intense pace." Liara replies with a small smile. The last thing Shepard wanted was to have Liara push herself too hard and get herself hurt. Shepard found herself keeping a close eye on Liara this entire mission, sometimes at the risk of her own well being.

"Well, I don't want you to get hurt. I can radio Cortez and have him bring Vega down and he can take you back up." Shepard says with concern.

"Really, I'm fine. There's only one way for me to get back into it, and that's by just doing it." Liara replies logically. Shepard chides herself for bringing Liara on this mission. The brutes, husks, marauders and cannibals they had faced were tough enemies. But so far, Liara had done well. Her stasis and singularity proving invaluable to Shepard's own biotic attacks.

"Alright." Shepard agrees, not wanting to push the matter in such a public setting. She does make a mental note to broach it again when they're back on the Normandy. "Ok, so we need to head to the coordinates Lieutenant Victus has sent and finish this thing off. I don't know why Cerberus planted a bomb here, but whatever the reason, it's not good."

"Definitely not. If that bomb goes off, thousands of krogans are out of the picture before ever having entered it." Garrus supplies, checking his assault rifle.

"Yeah, no kidding." Shepard says, taking a seat on some rubble and pulling out an electrolyte pack from her belt. "Cortez, we need a pick up. Coordinates sent." Shepard says through the comm, punching in some codes on her omni-tool.

"Aye aye." Comes the reply from the shuttle moments later.

Within half an hour, the squad are approaching the drop point that Lieutenant Victus and his men were at. Shepard takes the opportunity to find out more about the Cerberus bomb, communicating with Victus through the shuttles vid screen.

"How many men does Cerberus have on this thing, Lieutenant?"

"As far as we can tell, it looks like maybe two entire platoons. From up here, we've seen engineers, foot soldiers, and some centurions."

"Fuck. That's awesome." Shepard replies sarcastically. "Why did they plant the bomb here in the first place? If they're just priming it now, clearly it's been here well before the Reapers showed up."

There was a brief pause before Lieutenant Victus replied. "Commander, it's not a Cerberus bomb. It's turian."

"Turian?" Shepard repeats, pausing her inspection of her assault rifle. "Lieutenant, would you mind telling me why the fuck you didn't think this was an important detail to tell me before now?" Shepard asks, her voice raising.

"Regardless of who planted it, it still needs to be disabled." Victus responded, attempting to divert the question.

"What do you mean, 'regardless of who planted it'? Holy hell, you have got to be fucking kidding me! I'm out here putting my ass, and my teams ass, on the line and no one had the fucking balls to tell me the real story? This is unreal." Shepard finishes, looking at Garrus. He replies with a shrug, but Shepard knew he hadn't known either. Even Liara looks horrified at the revelation.

"Fuck, ok listen. Lieutenant, we need to get to that bomb. You send in your fire team on the north side, and we'll come in from the south. Keep in radio contact." Shepard finishes as the switches off the vid screen, not bothering to wait for a confirmation.

"Commander, we're going to be landing in a hot zone. Multiple hostiles reading on the sensors, and it looks like more are flooding in." Cortez advises.

"Good. I need to fucking kill something." Shepard says, removing the safety from her assault rifle. "Liara, I need you on my left, hit anything that has shields with a stasis. Garrus, take the right side and push those bastards inwards towards me and Liara."

Cortez hovers the shuttle over the battlefield, and Shepard opens the shuttle door. Chaos greets them, with grenades blowing rubble to pieces, showering chunks of rock and debris across the entire field. From their temporary vantage point, Shepard can see multiple engineers setting up turrets, and centurions were already deploying smoke screens.

"Let's move it people!" Shepard shouts, as the trio jump from the shuttle.

* * *

o.o.o

Liara trails Shepard, watching as the woman in black and red armour dances across the battlefield. She is a blaze of blue, charging into everything and anything that moved and held a gun. Liara keeps up, priming biotic explosions, sometimes hitting an enemy with a stasis field seconds before Shepard charges. In those instances, she always hears a laugh following the explosion, and she smiles at how much Shepard enjoys it. For Liara, killing a living thing had never really been something she'd become particularly used to. For the most part, it was merely a matter of survival. Survive until the shuttle shows up. Make it to the objective. Fight your way through waves of husks and brutes. But there was no pleasure in it for her. But for her lover, there was no better thing. Liara knows it's less the mindless killing and more the pure release it enables Shepard to experience. No constraints, no rules telling her how and in what way to survive the mission. If it shot at her, it died. And Shepard always ensured that it did.

Liara moves in a wide arc around the left side, keeping an eye on Shepard and ensuring she's centered. The tactic was basic, but flawless. It always guaranteed that most of the present enemy force would be eliminated, and Liara wondered how it was that they never caught on to what was happening. Without fail, the enemy would be funnelled into the middle, Liara would throw a singularity, and Shepard would charge, the explosion rippling outwards.

"What did Vega call this?" Liara asks through the comm as she shoots at a Cerberus trooper attempting to take cover.

"Something about shooting fish?" Garrus responds, a concussive shot ringing through the comm.

"Like shooting fish in a barrel!" Shepard replies as her assault rifle tears through the chest of a trooper she's just knocked down.

"I don't know about Earth fish, but Thessian fish tend to be a lot smarter than this." Liara says, panting as she takes cover. Her shoulder throbbed terribly, but she was determined to make it to the end of this mission, and if that meant recalling the ridiculous things James Vega says, then so be it.

"All clear. Head towards the broken stairwell up there." Shepard instructs. Liara jogs towards Shepard, who is waiting at the edge of the overhang. Once she approaches, Liara watches Shepard's eyes scan her armour, taking in the expression on her face. Liara knows that her suits VI system is informing Shepard of any injuries present, and Shepard frowns as her green eyes meet Liara's.

"Li…" Shepard says, concern evident in her voice.

"Please, Shepard. I need to finish this. I'm fine, do not worry about me. We've got a bomb to disable."

"Shepard, hostiles up top." Garrus interrupts, sliding against the wall.

With a disbelieving glance, Shepard moves towards Garrus, Liara following behind.

* * *

o.o.o

"Are you sure you can do this? I do not need this going to hell now." Shepard angrily asks Lieutenant Victus as she approaches the terminal at the bombsite.

"Yes, it's old tech. I know what to do. Thank you, Commander, for making sure I got this chance."

"Yeah, you're welcome. Just get it done, Lieutenant. I'd like for all of us to get the fuck out of here in one piece."

"Contact, Atlas mech deployed." Garrus advises, taking cover and switching to his sniper rifle. With Garrus up on the rock shelf, it allows Shepard and Liara to get down with the mech, Garrus' expert aim providing cover. Within the span of a few shots, Garrus has cracked open the casing where the operator controls the mech, and with a pull field, Shepard draws the Cerberus goon out, and Liara explodes him with a warp field.

"Shepard! Lieutenant Victus is heading up to the top of the bomb. I guess the trigger mechanism won't release." Garrus states, his attention redirected once more as he notices a Cerberus trooper stupidly running from cover.

"Fuck." Shepard replies succinctly, the sound of Garrus' shot echoing off the walls as the Cerberus trooper's head is cleanly removed from his body.

Shepard watches helplessly as Lieutenant Victus crawls to the apex of the bomb, removing a panel and releasing the trigger mechanism. The metal shifts, and Shepard realizes too late that the Lieutenant knew it was a one-way trip. She watches silently as the metal surrounding the bomb starts to fall, Lieutenant Victus with it.

* * *

o.o.o

The trio quietly exit the Kodiak, Shepard and Liara removing pieces of their armour as they walk. Shepard is in a foul mood, and the smart ass greeting James was about to provide was stopped short when he saw the look on his Commander's face.

"Garrus, I'm going to have a debrief with the Primarch after I get this armour off. I'd like you to be there." She says with a scowl, undoing the clasps holding her shoulder pads in place.

"Of course."

"Shepard, do you need help with your armour?" Liara offers, moving to help Shepard undo a snap that had become jammed, most likely from a bullet.

"No, it's fine. I can get it." Shepard says dismissively, brushing Liara's hand away. Liara looks at Shepard with a puzzled frown, slightly hurt by the callous way Shepard declined. Without a second glance, Shepard walked towards the lockers, throwing pieces of her armour inside. Liara walks to her own locker on the opposite wall, and by the time she'd removed her armour and turned around, Shepard was gone. Tears form in Liara's eyes at the obvious rejection, but she can't understand why Shepard would be acting this way. Her shoulder suddenly reminds her of how extremely unhappy it is now that the adrenaline is wearing off, and adrenaline and hurt is quickly being replaced by anger. Liara decides that if Shepard wants to be pissed off and take it out on her, then she'll just have to deal with the consequences. Resolute and content with her logic, she heads towards the elevator and the medbay.

Some time later, Shepard is heading towards the medbay, finishing up the last of her rounds. Trying to stop Wrex from killing the Primarch had been surprisingly easy, and Shepard is once again thankful Wrex is as level headed as he is. Any other krogan would have killed the Primarch right then and there, but Wrex understood the remarkably awkward situation. As the medbay doors open with a hiss, Mordin looks over at her, and before Shepard can even greet him, he is already talking.

"Shepard, cure complete! Various methods tested, but have found the most effective one. Can synthesize cure from Eve's tissue, just need transmission vector!"

"Wait, already? I thought it would've taken a hell of a lot longer." Shepard replies, leaning against the wall beside Mordin.

"Please, not inexperienced scientist. Created modified genophage cure, creating new cure just as simple." Mordin replies, a hint of displeasure at the perceived insult.

"I knew you could do it Mordin, I didn't mean to sound like I doubted you. It's just that nothing else has been this fucking simple." Shepard replies with a sigh.

"Ah, yes of course. Not an insult, just skepticism. Natural for you to be skeptical, considering how things have been proceeding. But cure easy to formulate once base antigen established. But still need transmission vector. Ground water too inconsistent. Could inoculate, but slow process and krogan have natural fear of needles." Mordin says, attempting to solve the problem by talking way too much for Shepard's liking. She's always had a soft spot for Mordin. He was effective, he could be ruthless, but he always did what he thought was right. She could have done with less talking, though.

"Wait! Yes! The Shroud! Would distribute airborne particles throughout Tuchanka! Used it before to spread modified cure, could use it again to cure genophage completely!"

"I knew you'd figure it out, Mordin." Shepard says with a smile. "Let me know when you're ready to move on this. The turians are in deep, and we need to get the krogan mobilized."

"Of course Shepard. Will be ready when you are." Mordin says excitedly, turning back to the data in front of him.

Shepard leaves the medbay, and briefly considers heading to Liara's cabin. Shepard had been incredibly angry after coming back from Tuchanka. The Cerberus bomb that had turned out to be a turian doomsday device, the complete lack of communication between allies, and Liara pushing herself way too hard all made her very bad-tempered. The readings her visor had provided were alarming, and Liara shouldn't have been out there. But most of all, Shepard was mad at herself for that. Resigning herself to speaking with Liara, she heads towards her cabin.

"Greetings, Commander."

"Glyph, where is Liara?"

"Doctor T'Soni has gone to your cabin, Commander. She asked me to tell you that she'd like a word with you."

"Naturally." Shepard responds sarcastically, heading in the direction of her cabin.

She finds Liara there moments later, pacing in front of the fish tank. The look on her face could cause a storm to brew out of nothing, and Shepard is momentarily impressed.

"So you did decide to come and talk to me after all." Liara says with a glare, crossing her arms in front of herself.

 _Here we go_. "Well, yeah. Not only did I want to, but you're in my cabin. I couldn't not come and see you."

"Shepard, what was that about down there? Why did you just shrug me off like I didn't even matter?" Liara asks point-blank, her eyebrow markings knitting together in a fierce scowl.

"Woah, alright. I think maybe you've gotten a little too worked up. Maybe just calm down a little."

"Calm down? You want me to calm down, after you disregarded me like I was some insignificant Private?" Liara asks, her voice raising slightly, and Shepard desperately wished she had not just told Liara to calm down.

"Ok, you're right, that was harsh. But I was fucking pissed off and I didn't want to deal with it yet." Shepard says with a shrug. "Look, that mission was so fucking off the rails that you couldn't even see where it started. It was maybe excusable until I found out that it wasn't a Cerberus bomb but a turian one. No one fucking told me about that in advance."

"So you decide to take it out on me? For all your infinite wisdom and incredible intelligence, you decide to get all worked up and lash out at me because the Primarch didn't fill you in."

"Hey, that's not really fair. I feel like that's a valid thing to get pissed off about." Shepard replies, her own anger starting to rise at Liara's constant prodding.

"Well, I certainly am glad that the Primarch coming clean with you is more important than I am."

Shepard stares at Liara, disbelief at the statement echoing in her mind. Liara is beyond angry, and Shepard knows that most of what she's saying is just stemming from anger, or some bizarre desire to make Shepard even more angry. And if that's the case, it was certainly working.

"Alright, you want to know what pissed me off the most? My own fucking ineptitude. You should not have been out there today Liara. I saw the readings my visor was giving me, and you were in a lot of pain. But you're so fucking stubborn, you wouldn't just admit that you needed a break. And I'm so fucking stubborn that I couldn't just order you to take one. I kept pushing you to keep going even though I knew that you were hurting. So yeah, I brushed you off. Because I'm angry at myself."

Shepard watches some of the fire burn out from Liara's blue eyes, but there was still a significant amount lurking there. Liara had spent the last two hours working herself up to a state of anger that wasn't going to go away immediately. And then suddenly, Liara is moving towards her. Her hands roughly run through Shepard's hair as their lips make contact, Liara biting into Shepard's bottom lip. Liara pulls her head back, and Shepard tastes blood on her lip as her tongue gently runs over the bite mark.

 _Game on, T'Soni._

Shepard reaches for Liara, grabbing the back of her neck as her lips come crashing down on. The rough contact sends Shepard's heart racing, and Liara's tongue tangles with her own. Shepard starts pushing Liara backwards towards the bed as Liara pulls the shirt over Shepard's head, forcing her to break the kiss. Shepard takes the opportunity to remove Liara's shirt as well, and once it's out of the way, Shepard leans down and bites the soft skin between Liara's shoulder and neck. Liara retaliates with a gasp, her hand pulling at Shepard's hair. She feels Liara bump into the end of the bed, and gently pushes her down. Liara lands on the bed, her elbows propping herself up as she looks up at Shepard. Within a second, Shepard is quickly removing Liara's pants, and Liara removes her own bra, tossing it aside.

Shepard looks down at Liara, her blue eyes reflecting an incredible amount of passion and pent up frustration. She watches as Liara slowly crawls backwards, giving Shepard a tantalizing view of every inch of her beautifully soft skin. With a predatory smile, Shepard follows suit, kicking her own pants out of the way. She lands on top of Liara, the heat from her body blending with the flushed coolness of Liara's. Liara grabs Shepard's hair, pulling her up towards her face, turning her head to the side. Shepard shivers at the feeling of Liara's lips against her ear, her hot breath sending ripples down her spine. Liara moves her thigh between Shepard's legs and can feel the slick wetness there, as Liara utters three words that makes Shepard's blood run like fire.

"Fuck me. Now."

The uncommon use of the very human expletive smoothly flowing from Liara's lips causes a surge of desire that Shepard hasn't felt before. The anger, the frustration, and the pure animalistic nature of this whole scenario was driving Shepard mad, and now she couldn't control it anymore. Shepard bites down hard on the soft skin of Liara's breast as her fingers find what they are searching for. She roughly penetrates the wet heat of Liara, and with a cry, Liara rakes her nails down Shepard's back. Shepard can feel the welts of fire down her back, the pain only urging her on. With a moan, Shepard finds Liara's lips once again as her fingers withdraw slightly, only to surge inwards, eliciting another cry from Liara.

With her pace steadily increasing, Shepard feels Liara bite into her shoulder hard enough for tiny pinpricks of blood to seep to the surface. Liara grabs the back of Shepard's head with one hand, and running her nails up her back with the other. Shepard can feel Liara's mind threatening to break into a meld as her fingers thrust deeper into Liara, feeling a wetness run down her wrist. Crying out, Shepard feels herself quickly approaching her own climax, the contact of Liara's thigh against her sex causing just the right amount of pressure. With a gasp, Shepard can feel herself coming as Liara's mind blends with her own in an explosion of white hot light. The meld is instantaneous and all encompassing, and Shepard bites down hard on Liara's shoulder one last time.

"I hope I didn't hurt you." Liara says quietly as she runs her fingers lightly down Shepard's back. They were laying in bed, Liara staring up at the stars through the viewport, Shepard sprawled out alongside her.

"You did. But I liked it. I wouldn't have let you do it otherwise. You, on the other hand, I should not have hurt."

"Why? I wanted you to." Liara replies, glancing down at Shepard where she rests against her breast.

"Because. You're tough as hell when you're being all Shadowy, and when you're killing things out on the field. But I didn't expect you to enjoy something so… rough in the bedroom."

Liara smiles, kissing the top of Shepard's head. If she were being honest with herself, Liara hadn't expected she would enjoy it either. But it did wonders for banishing all of the anger she had felt. The rough contact and the pain were exactly what her mind needed in order to remember who she was. That she was important to Shepard, that she didn't need to self-doubt. The meld had allowed each of them to explore the anger of the other, and resolve it accordingly. Liara understood completely why Shepard had been angry, and Shepard understood perfectly why Liara had been as well.

Shepard yawns loudly, wrapping an arm around Liara's torso.

"I promise I'll talk to you next time. At least so you know it isn't your fault I'm angry." Shepard says quietly, and Liara can hear the sleep in her voice.

"I know. And I promise I won't get all worked up and snap at you when you come up to your room." Liara says, a yawn escaping her as well. Liara rolls over, settling in amongst the blankets and pillows, the strong arms of her Commander wrapped around her, and her gentle breath alighting against her skin.

"I love you."

"I love you too."


	36. Steady

A/N: I may be biased, but I think this is my favourite chapter so far.

Also, because it might be kind of obscure, the chapter title 'Steady' is by a band called 'Hey Ocean!'. The song is beautiful, and describes kind of how I've written Miranda and Shep. Give it a listen, and I apologize if the song breaks your heart.

Enjoy :)

* * *

Shepard strolled through the docking bay, heading towards her ship. She was thankful that today she didn't have a lot to do on the Citadel. She'd had a drink with James and a few marines, handed over some data packages and a few artifacts she'd found to some very happy people, and she'd even had a chance to speak with Thane. She'd been happy to see him; it was clear that he didn't have much longer, but his firm belief in a life well lived was evident, and it made the sadness dissipate slightly.

The docking bay was quiet, most of the travellers either having arrived or left already. It was approaching the Citadel's night cycle, and almost imperceptibly, lights were being dimmed. For species such as hers, it was like a kick start of the normal circadian rythym, and Shepard could feel herself tiring. With the Normandy still fifteen minutes away from a complete refuel, she had some time to kill before shipping out and heading to Utukku. Shepard notices the automatic coffee dispenser that is usually surrounded by tired or stressed out civilians, and decides to just suck it up. She typically avoided coffee of unknown origins, preferring to find a cup of better stuff. If there's one thing to be said about Cora Shepard, it's that she has a minor obsession with coffee. She'd had her own brought onto the Normandy SR-1, imported from Brazil on Earth. When she and the Normandy had been destroyed, and then subsequently rebuilt, Doctor Chakwas surprised her with the exact same coffee for her return to the Normandy SR-2.

Regarding her current options with disgust, Shepard wondered how anyone could drink the murky water that would no doubt come out of the machine. _Come on, Shep. We can take out a brute, but not a mud coloured cup of water?_ With a resigned sigh, Shepard decides to man up, and chooses the option that sounded the least terrible. While she waited for the 'coffee' to fill the cup, Shepard looked out towards the Normandy. The ship sat quietly, docking clamps holding fast to the sleeping ship. The massive letters, the shape, even the blue and silver accents, all reminded Shepard of home. Even if it was a reconstruction, even if had been the launching pad of anger, frustration, despair, and eventual bittersweet victory, it was still her place of refuge. Being in the military left little room for holding onto things. Postings changed, CO's changed, the objectives changed. Nothing was stationary, and everything was shared. It wasn't until the SR-1 that Shepard actually had her own bunk separate from everyone else. But if Shepard had to pick one thing in the entire galaxy she could call hers, it would be that ship. When she felt the engines power up, when it glided through atmosphere upon atmosphere, the barely noticeable pull of the inertial dampeners, all made her heart swell with pride. The ship and the people it safe guarded were more important to her than anything else.

With a beep, the machine beside her announces that her coffee is finished, and grabbing the cup, Shepard moves to the viewing area outside of the docking bay door. Leaning against the metal railing, she watches the fuel ship hover delicately beside the Normandy. Cargo ships ferry in and out of the space occupied by her ship, bringing in new goods and taking away deliveries or repair orders. Watching the scene, Shepard is awestruck. Never in all her life did she imagine she would be commanding a ship or a crew, let alone one as incredible as this. She remembers the stories she would make up as a child, her mother sitting on her small bed with her. Her sheets a myriad of stars and planets, stuffed toys in the shapes of ships forming a wall around her, and her own little collection of miniature replicas hanging from the ceiling. In true Cora fashion, she would be the one telling bedtime stories, and her mother would sit quietly in rapt attention as the mighty and super smart Cora Shepard would vanquish the baddies with her ship, and fly home with medals hanging all over her. Shepard smiled sadly at the memory, wishing she could tell her six-year-old self that award ceremonies are boring and take too long, and that the bad guys shoot back, sometimes hurting the ones she loves.

Breaking away from the memory, she looks down at the steaming cup of coffee, inhaling the scent of it. She reasoned that if it smells good, it must taste good as well. Before she could find out, she hears her name being softly called.

"Commander Shepard. It's been far too long."

Turning her head towards the familiar, and much missed accent, Shepard smiles widely as she watches Miranda walk towards her. Placing her cup on the floor, she enfolds Miranda in a hug once she comes close enough.

"Miri. It's really great to see you."

"Likewise. I've been trying my best to see you, but I always seem to miss you by a few moments." Miranda replies, ending the hug by moving backwards a few steps. "And I couldn't get anywhere near you when the Alliance had you locked up."

Shepard leans casually against the railing. "Yeah, relieved of duty. It was complicated."

"I can imagine. The Alliance isn't known for its flexibility." Miranda replies softly, mimicking Shepard's casual position.

"Well, not like it matters now. They held me for six months just to try and kill me with boredom I'm sure." Shepard says, taking in the woman standing in front of her. Miranda's hair was a bit longer, and she no longer wore the skin tight cat suit. In its stead was a pair of black dress pants, a navy blue collared shirt that she's left untucked, and a black knit shawl that went down to the back of her knees. Shepard raised an eyebrow slightly at the change; _Miranda has somehow managed to look sexier in her current get-up than the bloody cat suit._ Her radiant blue eyes were set off by the colour of the shirt, but there was something there. A stress or anxiety that Shepard had only seen once before, although she couldn't place it now.

"I'd be more than a little upset if you died again. I worked hard to get you back into one piece." Miranda interrupts with a grin. "Besides, I don't have access to the same resources anymore. So if it happens again, you're on your own."

Shepard laughs, and they fall into a momentary silence, both women looking out at the ship. The refueling vessel was detaching, and only one cargo vessel was now heading back towards the cargo bay.

"Where are you off to? If you can tell me, that is." Miranda asks as she looks back at Shepard.

"If there's one person I trust as much as myself and Liara, it's you. You know you can ask me anything." Shepard replies, and she sees a ghost of something cross Miranda's face at the mention of Liara, but it's gone in an instant. "We're heading to Utukku, out in the Ninmah cluster. Wrex mentioned something the other day, something about potential rachni activity. We're gonna go check it out."

"Rachni? How is that even possible? You killed the last queen."

"I know, that's exactly what I said. Must be something else. It has to be. But, then again, there's always something out there waiting to surprise us. Why not add rachni to the mix." Shepard states sarcastically, rolling her eyes.

Miranda provides a half-smile in return, and looks back out at the Normandy. Shepard watches her, waiting to see if she will bring up what's bothering her, or if Shepard will have to pry it out of her. She watches as Miranda looks down at her perfectly manicured hands as she starts speaking.

"Shepard… I haven't heard from Oriana in a while. I'm starting to get worried." Concern settles across Shepard's features as Miranda continues. "We kept in almost constant contact after we relocated her and her family. And then just a few weeks ago, she dropped off my radar. Without Cerberus contacts, it's been almost impossible to pick up her trail." Miranda starts wringing her hands together in a very uncommon gesture of insecurity. Miranda looks up, directly at Shepard, her blue eyes filled with tears. "I'm scared, Shepard."

Shepard can feel her heart breaking into a million pieces for Miranda, and without a second thought, reaches out to fold her into her arms. Miranda covers her face with her hands, leaning her forehead against Shepard's chest, and within seconds, Shepard can hear her crying. She runs her hand along Miranda's back soothingly, her other hand resting on the back of Miranda's head. She can feel Miranda shaking, her emotions finally getting the better of her after months of worry and stress. Shepard herself has felt the same way a multitude of times, but her default reaction is anger. It was a rare day that Shepard just had a good cry, preferring to punch someone in order to release the emotions. But now, this normally stoic woman is falling to pieces, and all Shepard can do is hold her.

Shepard realizes suddenly that Miranda has been completely alone for the past half a year. Shepard flew off to Aratoht while Miranda held down the fort. She organized and oversaw the repairs on Omega, single-handedly managed the entire crew of the Normandy, avoided being captured on Omega when Cerberus invaded the station… and now, with her sister missing as the final straw, Shepard is amazed Miranda is holding up as well as she is. With a pang of guilt, Shepard realizes that the majority of the stress Miranda is experiencing is a direct result of her own life hampering the life of someone else. While a guest of the Alliance, there was nothing she could do to prepare or help the ones who needed her.

Moments pass before Miranda is able to speak, her tears flowing freely and unabated. When she finally is able to resume the conversation, her words are mingled with a heavy sadness. "The last few months have been horrendous." Miranda starts with a sob, moving her head to a more comfortable position against Shepard's shoulder, balling her hands against Shepard's chest. "You get locked up, Cerberus has literally set a bounty on my head, and now the only good thing in my life is missing. And even if she isn't, and I find her, the Reapers are destroying everything anyways. There won't be a world left for her to come home to." Another heart wrenching cry breaks from her before she continues. "This is all so frightfully unfair. Everything I ever loved either hates me or is methodically being destroyed, and there's nothing I can do." She says as a sob wracks through her body. Shepard waits and listens to the genetically perfect Miranda Lawson break down in her arms, the woman echoing her own thoughts. Shepard leans her cheek against Miranda's head, and after a long while, the sobbing subsides. With a sniff, Miranda starts to pull back.

"Sorry, Shepard. How completely unladylike of me." Miranda apologizes with a weak attempt at a smile.

"Hey, don't worry about it. Seriously." Shepard says, placing her hands on either side of Miranda's face, forcing her to look at her. Tears have dampened her eyelashes, and the beautiful blue of her eyes are ringed in red, sorrow and despair threatening to cause more tears to fall.

"I'm going to do my best to make sure the Reapers go back to whatever hell they came from, and stay there. I'm fighting for you, Liara, Joker, Chakwas… everyone. Because I can't stand the thought of the people I love being torn apart by those damn things. Even if I have to fight till my last breath, I will end them." Shepard says quietly, green eyes staring steadily into Miranda's.

"I'd bet on you. If anyone can do it, you can." Miranda whispers, sniffling at the same time. Shepard gives Miranda a lopsided smile, brushing the tears off her cheek with her thumb.

"As Mordin would say, 'has to be me. Someone else might've gotten it wrong.'" Shepard says as she lets go of Miranda's face, moving to lean against the railing again. "And as far as Oriana goes, let me know what you need. Want me to fly in with my super powerful spaceship and blow someone's door in, I will do it. You're not alone in this, Miranda."

Miranda looks down at the floor, then back up at Shepard. Her green eyes filled with concern, her brows furrowed slightly. "Thank you, Shepard. That means a lot. But you've got your hands full at the moment. I will let you know if I need help. Right now, I just need to focus on finding some sort of trail." Miranda pauses, and looks up at Shepard, raising her eyebrow. "You're not going to tell anyone I just cried like an infant, are you?"

"Never." Shepard says honestly with a slight chuckle.

"Good. I can't have anyone thinking that I've gone soft. I'm sure there are quite a few people in the galaxy just waiting for me to crack." She says as she brushes a few errant tears from her cheeks.

Shepard smiles, tucking a piece of hair back behind Miranda's ear. "Don't worry, your secret is safe with me. But for the record, you've always been a softie. You just hide it real well."

"You're the only one who sees that." Miranda says, tilting her head to the side as though she herself had just come to that realization. "Anyways, I should get going. I've taken up enough of your time. Thank you for being here when I needed you the most." Comes the quiet response as Miranda smiles faintly, and turns to walk away.

"It was my pleasure, Ms. Lawson. Keep in touch." Shepard says as she watches Miranda disappear down the corridor.

Looking down at the floor, Shepard notices her long-forgotten and very cold coffee. Picking it up and discarding it in a nearby waste bin, she turns around to take in the view of the Normandy again. With renewed purpose, Shepard heads into the airlock.


	37. Love as a Construct

"Shuttle is landed, fire team is ground-side. Orders are to wait at drop point location until fire team returns."

"Roger that, Cortez." Joker replies, entering the comment into his pilots log. With a frown and a burning question, Joker switches to the private comm. "Hey, what do you do down there while you wait for Shepard to come back?"

"Depends. If there're hostiles firing at me, I try and find a secure place to land and keep an eye on my sensors in case they spot me. That or I fly towards you guys and have you take them out. Drops like this, I usually just monitor Shepard and her team in case they need an emergency extraction."

"So, like… you don't nap? Bring any magazines down with you? Sing really loudly to terrible music?"

"Well… sometimes I sing. But nap? No. I don't nap." Cortez replies with a chuckle. "Although that does give me some indication as to what you would do down here."

"Hey, I am always on, Cortez. Flying this bird means paying attention at all times. Waiting in a transport for five hours with literally nothing to look at? Damn right I'd take a nap. Or at least bring something interesting to read."

"I'm sure I don't want to know what your 'interesting read' would be. I've heard about your zettabytes of suspect material."

"Damnit EDI!" Joker exclaims, hearing Cortez laugh as the comm switches off.

Joker looks to his right and notices EDI's mobile platform is not there. With a frown, Joker spins his chair all the way around to see if there is anyone else close by. With the Normandy following standard ship time for the Alliance, it meant that it was once again the night shift crew. Thankfully, that also meant no one was nearby.

"EDI?"

"Yes Jeff?"

"Where are you?"

"I am here."

"No, where is your body?"

"Technically, you are in my body."

"First of all, weird. Second of all, you know what I mean. Stop being coy."

"Jeff, are you upset? Is there something you need?"

Joker pauses, contemplating his response. He was less upset at EDI being a slight blabbermouth, and more upset that he hasn't addressed it previously. Living and working with EDI has meant an entirely new way of doing things, most of which centered around the fact that without her shackles, EDI was as inquisitive and point-blank as a five-year-old. It also meant that there was a plethora of lessons to teach and lines to draw. EDI safeguarded the most classified information in the entire galaxy; she held medical records, ship logs, CO/XO logs, as well as advanced combat data for human, turian, krogan and salarian races. She was constantly fielding millions of data transactions from the Normandy to Earth, Palaven, Tuchanka, Sur'Kesh and back again. She kept the engines running, the air recycling, the life support active, all while being able to hold a conversation with any and all crew members who decided they needed to talk to her at that exact moment. But the only thing she couldn't do was keep a secret at a personal level.

"No. I just need to talk to you."

There is a brief pause, and Joker knows that EDI is contemplating another coy response. Seconds tick by before she responds. "My mobile platform is on its way back up to the bridge. One moment please."

"Flight Lieutenant, we have had a cave-in down here. Shepard and co. are alright and are proceeding into a cave system. Changing pick-up zone as per Commander Shepard's orders." Cortez alerts, and Joker enters the information into his log.

"Change noted, Lieutenant."

Joker runs one of the many diagnostics that are required as he waits for EDI. Finally, he hears the soft metallic footfall of the AI walking up and taking a seat in her customary chair.

"Ready." She states.

"EDI, listen. We have got to talk about you telling crew mates about private things. When you find something out about someone, or when a crew member tells you something, and asks you to keep it a secret, it literally means you need to not tell anyone."

EDI cocks her head to the side with a very human gesture. "I do not understand. If they did not want this information shared, why would it be accessible? And why would they have told me? The action itself is telling a secret."

"Yeah, you're right. But why is the person telling you that to begin with?"

Joker watches the proverbial wheels of thought spin, and he can tell EDI is trying to formulate a hypothesis.

"From what I have gathered, most of the information that is shared with me is of a sensitive nature. Previous recordings of a particular crew members time aboard the Normandy show that the crew member has not discussed the 'secret' with anyone else. Therefore, the reason must be that the crew member wishes to divulge something that they have been carrying with them for some time but have been unable to discuss due to societal restraints."

Joker stares at the AI as her hypothesis is chimed out in almost perfect psychologist format. He suddenly realizes that as smart as he is, EDI was significantly more advanced than he could ever hope to be.

"I guess that's what I get for having this kind of conversation with a computer-based program. Ok, so yes. Valid point. But what I'm trying to get it is that us humans are hyper-social. We like to tell stories and exaggerate and make a big deal out of nothing just so we can fit in. We like to involve other people in our lives so that we can establish a connection with them. The crew see you as one of us, a crew member. If they're telling you private information, it's because they want to perceive you as part of the whole, not some AI created by Cerberus to spy on us all creepy like."

"Joker, we have confirmed rachni engagement. I repeat, confirmed rachni engagement. Commander Shepard reports they have been, and I quote, "fucking Reaperized". Aralakh company moving to assist Normandy fire team. Stand by for new information."

Joker types the update into his log with a curse. "Holy shit. Situation noted, Lieutenant."

He checks the status of the diagnostic, disbelief at Cortez's statement. A moment later, he turns back to face a very quiet EDI. She has a look of thought on her face, and Joker wonders if it's simulated or a by-product of spending way too much time around humans.

"Jeff, I understand what you mean. Going forward, I will ensure that private information is kept as such." The pensive look is replaced by one of happiness. "Thank you for explaining this situation to me."

"Yeah, no problem. You just gotta find a happy balance. Sometimes people like Shepard or Garrus need to be told things in order to make sure everyone is safe. Finding out about zettabytes of… personal stuff, and telling someone does not help make the ship any more or less safe. Know what I mean?"

"I do. Thank you, Jeff. Also, the diagnostic is complete. Heat purge recommended in the starboard engine compartment."

Joker smiles. "Got it, EDI."

* * *

o.o.o

Shepard stood ankle deep in water, watching as the last of the altered rachni collapsed. She notices with a look of disgust that she was covered in some kind of bodily fluid that kept repeatedly depleting her shields, and she washes some of it off as Garrus and Liara do the same thing.

"Y'know, there's not a whole lot out there that surprises me anymore. Talking plants, Prothean's surviving into this cycle to be turned into puppets, blue prints for a giant death machine that kills giant death machines… but this? This is something I could have done without. Tali would've freaked out if she had been the one on this mission." Garrus remarks as he tries to remove some of the sludge from his assault rifle.

"Yeah, not a huge fan of what the Reapers have done here. Seriously, where are they even getting these rachni from?" Shepard asks as she activates her comm. "Cortez, hostiles terminated. Moving into what looks like the last chamber. We should be out soon."

"Roger that, Commander."

Shepard, Liara, and Garrus move on towards the large central cave, noticing a distinct lack of enemies. Firing at the last node that powers the Reaper walls, they tumble into a massive room. At its centre is an enormous insect looking beast, tied down by tendrils of an organic and metallic rope.

"What the actual fuck." Shepard exclaims quietly.

"Shepard… this is a rachni queen." Liara provides, opening her omni-tool to take a few readings.

Suddenly, a multitude of dead krogan begin moving, their mouths forming words that seem to come out of the air itself. The queen speaks to the trio, advising them of what the Reapers have done, and why they created her. Shepard stares in disbelief. She had supposed the rachni to be extinct, having destroyed the last queen on Noveria. Then, and now, she stood by her decision. She had a hunch, after witnessing indoctrination, why the rachni turned so violent during the Rachni Wars. Not to mention that Cerberus were able to clone and use the rachni in experiments. The rachni were too easy to manipulate. Now, this pseudo-queen was attempting to save her skin, but Shepard wasn't convinced. With all that is at stake, she couldn't afford having the rachni turn from allies to enemies at the Reaper's hands.

"Shepard! We stay here any longer and Aralakh company dies!" Grunt yells through the comm.

With a final look at the queen, Shepard gives the order to move. Screams of anger and hatred follow their path as they run to the safety of the shuttle.

* * *

o.o.o

"Logged: The Commanding officer is aboard, Commander Shepard has the deck. Major Chakwas stands relieved."

With a thankful sigh, Joker fills in the last of his pilots report. No casualties and only one injury. That was always a good sign. With Grunt coming aboard, things were about to get a lot more chaotic; Grunt had a propensity towards not listening to Chakwas as well as trying to tell every crew member on board about his finest moments in battle. It usually ended up with Grunt trying to re-enact the scene, which meant that most of the crew vanished. They didn't like being grappled by an 800 pound krogan.

"Joker, get us out of here and back to the Citadel." Shepard orders through the comm.

"Yes ma'am. How's our little tank baby doing?"

"If the background noise is any indication, I'd say he's doing well." Shepard provides, and Joker hears Grunt screaming a mock battle cry in the background. "No, Grunt, put your gun away. We all saw you kill that rachni, you don't need to fucking show us." Joker hears Shepard say as the comm switches off, Shepard undoubtedly trying to wrestle a gun away from the krogan.

An hour later, with his report sent to Shepard and his shift almost over, Joker turns the ship over to EDI. He hears foot steps behind him, and turns his chair around to see Shepard walking towards him.

"Hey Commander. Grunt gonna be ok?"

"Yeah, Chakwas says he'll be fine. She's recommended he go to the Citadel though, but for some minor surgery stuff that his own redundant nervous system can't heal up on its own."

"Huh. Well, I guess when you hurtle off the side of a cliff with rachni all around you, some injuries are bound to happen. Speaking of which, rachni? What the hell?"

"I know, it's fucking nuts. Even though they're out for our destruction, there's something to be said about Reaper intelligence. They basically recreated an extinct species, which is both humbling and terrifying." Shepard replies as she crosses her arms in front of her, leaning her weight on her right foot.

"Well, at least you got rid of them for good this time. I hope. We don't need them singing their sour yellow notes of whatever."

"Agreed." Shepard says, pausing to look out through the viewport. Streaks of blue danced across the Normandy's hull as they moved at FTL to get to the relay.

"So, anything exciting happen here while we were gone?"

"Negative. A whole lot of sitting and pressing buttons. I got up and had a snack, EDI kept life support on and didn't go rogue. Again. Y'know, basic stuff."

"I would like to make it known that I have no intention of going rogue. That was a singular occurrence." EDI replies primly. Joker and Shepard both smile at the response.

"Glad to hear it EDI. Not that I doubted you." Shepard replies. "Anyways, I'm gonna head down to the mess to grab something to eat. Reports are all away, and I'm signing off for eight hours. I feel like I need another shower after all that shit down there. I don't think the Kodiak is ever going to be the same. Fucking Reapers."

"Yeah no kidding. I'd hate to be the guy who has to clean out the shuttle. Glad I'm not Cortez."

Shepard unfolds her arms, a sly smile crossing her lips. "Me too. At least I know he won't take naps or look at zettabytes of weird shit while he waits for us." She says as she turns to walk towards the CIC.

"Damnit EDI!"

"Sorry, Jeff."


	38. Faith

A/N: I did not think I'd be getting this chapter up tonight. It's quite long, so I apologize for that. But... it would not have served it justice to split it up.

Thank you to everyone who is following this story, and for those who have made it a favourite. I'm very happy you like it :)

* * *

To: S. Traynor  
From: [ENCRYPTED]  
Subject: Bumping into you

Sam,

I just wanted to apologize for my behaviour when we met on the Citadel. I realize afterwards that I may have been a bit too forward. You need to understand that although I do prefer to be point-blank in my interactions, I did not intend for it to come across as though I merely want some brief exchange and then never meet again. I am not always the most adept at social interactions; I find people to be generally selfish and too mired in their own story. But you, you I like. I hope that the offer still stands, and that I'll be able to see you in Purgatory.

M.  
_

To: [ENCRYPTED]  
From: S. Traynor  
Subject: Re: Bumping into you

Miranda,

Honestly, it really was no trouble. I appreciate that you have a kind of brutal honesty. Most people don't. I admit, I am also crap at anything remotely close to being sociable and I tend to either blunder through most social events, or avoid them altogether.

The offer is still very available. I look forward to our chess game :)

Sam  
_

Traynor sent her response with a smile. She had thought Miranda's clearly overt offer was rather forward, but it hadn't offended her. It had actually managed to do the opposite. She was used to people being secretive or having a tendency to dance around a topic. Miranda was refreshing, if not hugely out of her league. Traynor was still waiting for the other shoe to fall.

"Action stations, action stations. This is a general ship-wide alert: approaching hostile territory, all crew please report to assigned stations."

Traynor froze as the klaxon sounded through the ship, red lights activating and emergency lighting illuminating all pathways, as EDI announced the action alert. She had known they were approaching Tuchanka, but the warning was very unexpected. Crew began running around in organized chaos. Most ended up along the gangway, each computer console now seating someone, and Traynor's terminal began flooding with data packages. She was momentarily overwhelmed. This was the first time since coming aboard, let alone during her entire military career, that she had to deal with full on ship-wide battle readiness. Garrus had given her and Privates Campbell and Westmoreland a run through on what to do, but she was now at a loss.

"Specialist, could you please report to the bridge? I believe Lieutenant Moreau requires you to monitor strategic combat data for allies assisting in this operation." EDI advises.

"Oh thank God." Traynor breathes, feeling her adrenaline kick in. "That, I can do. On my way."

Traynor joins the ranks of seasoned marines in a bid to get to her action station. Orders were flying all around her, and each order was subsequently responded to. As she walked towards Joker, a silence fell along the gangway. It was as though everyone was just sitting patiently, waiting and listening. Approaching Joker's domain was entirely different. Once she passed through the door disconnecting him from the rest of the ship, it was like a thousand things were happening at once. Shepard stood behind his chair in her full armour, hands on her hips, and as Traynor took the seat normally occupied by EDI's mobile platform, she caught the tail end of their conversation.

"How the fuck did this slip the net? Did the Reaper just materialize out of thin air?" Shepard asks angrily.

"No clue, Commander. All messages from Tuchanka in the last forty-eight hours didn't mention anything about a Reaper."

"Fuck, how the hell did they miss that? There's no way the krogan are _that_ oblivious."

Traynor peeked to her left, and noticed that Joker had five separate haptic screens open, one displaying a video feed, and the rest displaying what appeared to be combat data, proximity alerts, and drop point locations. There was also a sensor array indicating where allies were situated, as well as enemies. There was a stream of conversation coming in from all parts of the ship filtering through the speakers to the cockpit one by one, and Traynor realizes that although it is audible through here, EDI is managing the incoming information. Engineering was reporting in, Cortez was reporting the shuttle is ready, Chakwas advising that her medbay was prepped, and Garrus humorously providing the status of his perfectly calibrated main guns. James chimed in that he was ready to kick some ass and that Liara was with him at the shuttle. Not to be outdone, Wrex adds that it's his planet, and he'll be damned if some young varren pup kicks ass before him.

"Specialist?" EDI asks, and both Shepard and Joker look over as though they just realized she was here.

"Uh, yes EDI?" Traynor responds with a blush.

"Report please."

"Oh, yes of course. Sorry. Um… combat data streaming and available. I have all current available data. Systems go." She replies, opening two haptic screens in order to monitor the information she needed.

"Alright, well find me a place to land far away from that bastard. I'm sure as hell not in the mood to be taken out by a damn space squid before we get down there." Shepard orders, turning her attention back to Joker and the haptic screens. "Mordin, are you and Eve at the shuttle?"

"At shuttle and waiting for you, Shepard. Must hurry, significant stress on Eve's system."

"I told you already, I'm fine." Traynor hears Eve reply through Mordin's comm. She watches with interest as Shepard activates her visor, her eyes suddenly being encompassed by a bar of blue.

"Keep her safe, Joker." Shepard says, and Traynor observes Shepard placing her hand on Joker's shoulder before she walks away.

"Yes ma'am. Good hunting." Joker replies.

A brief silence falls over the cockpit, Joker pressing a few buttons, authorizing the shuttle docking clamps to release and the hangar bay door to open. Traynor glances back at her terminal, and not even two minutes later, she sees the virtual shape assigned to the Normandy's shuttle exit the hangar.

"Shuttle away." Comes the terse report from Cortez.

"Noted, see you in a few." Joker replies.

Traynor watches in silence and marvels at the cohesion. She was clearly amid experienced personnel. Not a single one blanched or questioned an order. Reports filed in like clockwork, and a constant stream of communication was provided to the people who needed to know what was going on. It was clear to her that although EDI was incredibly important, it was the people and the training that enabled scenarios like this to go off without a hitch. With EDI silent in the background, it allowed her to do what needed to be done, and it allowed Shepard and her team to do what they did best.

"Cortez, I am sending the coordinates for the drop point location. Turian allies have been informed, and will be modifying their flight path accordingly. I can't get a hold of anyone groundside, so Wrex will just have to do what he's known for."

"Yell really loudly until someone pays attention?" Cortez asks.

"Yeah. That." Joker replies with a smile, switching off the comm.

Another brief moment of silence, and Joker turns to Traynor.

"Ready?"

"What should I be ready for, Joker? I've got my screens up and I can see all the data…" Traynor says anxiously.

"Ready to watch Shepard kick some ass? That's always my favourite part. Watching her explode things."

Traynor stares at Joker for a moment, before breaking into a smile. He didn't question why she was here; he didn't second guess that she had the correct data up. He just trusted her, and was comfortable in her abilities to assist him.

"Yeah. I'm ready."

* * *

o.o.o

Shepard stares out at the Reaper, her entire world becoming so much bigger. She has one objective: destroy the Reapers. And now that she is faced with one, she feels anxiety and dread racing up to meet the emotions of anger and frustration. Though she knew what the Reapers were doing on Earth and a multitude of other planets and systems, it hadn't been since Vancouver that she had been at ground level with one.

 _Theory was great, but practice? I don't know about that…_

The realization came seconds after the turian fighter had destroyed the bridge the tomkah's were parked on. Bodies of krogan lay haphazardly around her, the burning wreckage of the fighter smouldering below where she and her team stood. The loud noise of the Reaper could be heard even from where they stood now, and it was slowly and surely moving towards its intended target. Once she had determined that the key people were alive and safe, she began focusing on how to destroy the massive impediment that blocked her path to an all-important alliance. She could feel her hope lagging behind her, partially destroyed with the turian fighter.

"Shepard, looks like there's a tunnel opening behind us. We might be able to go underground and meet up with Wrex on the other side." James advises, and Shepard notes a hint of something in his voice. Turning around to look at him, she realizes that it's determination and adrenaline. Glancing over at Liara, she sees the same look reflected on her lovers face. _Glad they're feeling so optimistic about our chances._

"Alright, let's move."

As the team moved through the tunnels, earthquakes permeated the ground, shaking the walls and causing dust to fall in thick coats. Paintings of long forgotten krogan culture coloured the walls, and whispering from Liara and James about the earthquakes blended with the communication from Wrex.

With a frustrated frown, Shepard signals that Liara and James stop moving as she does the same. "Wrex, I didn't copy that. Repeat?"

"I said that you need to get your ass out of there, Shepard. Those aren't earthquakes, it's a damn maw!"

"It is said that Kalros, the mother of all thresher maws, lives here and guards this area possessively." Eve advises.

"Fuck, seriously? Come on, let's get a move on. Feels like Kalros is massive. And pissed off." Shepard says with irritation. ' _A visit to Tuchanka isn't considered a real visit unless you're almost eaten by something' is now officially a true statement._

As they progress through the tunnels, and finally see light ahead, Shepard stops and signals that they take a quick break. Not wanting to push herself or her team too fast or hard without knowing how this was all going to play out, Shepard takes the opportunity for a breather while they still can. Shipping her rifle, she grabs a bottle of water from her belt as Liara approaches her. Shepard immediately picks up on the concern Liara is radiating, knowing that she herself was probably the one causing the minor distress.

"Shepard, do we have a plan?" Liara asks quietly once she is standing at Shepard's elbow. Shepard glances over to see James walk farther away and sit down on a piece of fallen wall. Glancing back at Liara, she is unsure what order to give. For the first time in years, she's seriously wishing this could be passed up the chain of command.

"I don't know. I plan to improvise. No plan survives contact with the enemy anyways." She finally provides, attempting to dismiss the question. Liara frowns in response, and Shepard knows it's not an adequate answer. Right now, her team needed an order, not uncertainty. She was also attempting to dodge the question of someone who knew her all too well.

"We need to figure something out. That Reaper is directly in our path." Liara states, and Shepard can feel herself grow irritated at the obvious statement.

"I know, I'm well aware. But I don't have a solution yet, Li. I don't know how to take that fucking thing down. The turians barely touched it, how the hell are the three of us on foot supposed to make a damn difference."

"Can't we have the Normandy come in?"

"No, I'm not risking it unless I absolutely have no other choice. If she gets shot down, we're fucked. I just need to get to Wrex and Mordin. He's usually full of ideas, I'm sure between the five of us we can figure something out." Shepard says quietly, watching the play of emotions on Liara's face. She sees hope quickly dissipating in Liara's eyes as well, and knows that James probably isn't far behind. Shepard grabs Liara's hand, squeezing it reassuringly for a brief moment, before announcing that they needed to keep moving.

They soon approach a wide open space, ancient ruins interspersed with walls of green and plant life blooming between the cracks of the dilapidated rocks. Shepard can hear Liara's intake of breath, and knows the archaeologist in her is amazed. Shepard smiles to herself, the wonder she hears in Liara's voice giving her pause. For all her brokered shadows, part of Liara was still the young asari archaeologist, her desire for knowledge and the beauty of old spaces evident in the look of awe on her face.

Unfortunately, sightseeing came to an abrupt end, as the silence of the space was interrupted by the deployment of Reaper ground troops.

"Contact! Multiple hostiles, and they've got those adulterated rachni. Keep an eye on your flank and don't let them get a bead on you!" Shepard orders as she dives for cover. Liara manages to find cover across from Shepard, with James inadvertently on point. Shepard scans the field, her visor letting her know where each enemy contact was. With a nod to the asari, Liara immobilizes one of the cannibals with a stasis, and Shepard charges in.

* * *

o.o.o

Traynor watches her screens, her hand covering her mouth in shock. Joker has been silent for some time, the aftermath of the turian fighter explosion still fresh on his sensors. Traynor suddenly realizes how tenuous Shepard's hold on victory was, and how easy it would be for one wrong step to end in disaster. The fighter going down could have easily destroyed the transport carrying Eve and Mordin, or Shepard and her team as they stood exposed on the bridge. Watching the feed was like watching a thriller vid, except in real life and involving people she lives and works with. In the vids, close calls like that were suspenseful, but Traynor knew that the actors would live to see another day. Currently, she was just praying that the people she was watching closely would just make it to the next half hour.

"You watch these feeds every time they're down there?" Traynor asks as she turns to look at Joker. She sees the same look, but with more faith than Traynor felt.

"Yeah." Joker replies simply.

"How? How do you watch this, knowing that they're down there fighting for their lives? How do you not just break down every time one of them takes a shot?"

Joker pauses for a moment, providing a status update to Wrex. Once it's sent, he looks over at Traynor.

"I watch the feeds because I need to know they're safe. You're looking at it through the lens of fear, and let me tell you, that's going to give you a heart attack. They're fighting for their lives, but every single one of them is a professional, led by one of the best soldiers out there. They take a shot, but they keep moving. I don't break down because Shepard always comes back. Death didn't stop her, I sure as hell doubt one single Reaper will. You just gotta switch to a different lens. Try faith. I find that works best for me."

Their conversation is interrupted by Shepard's order filtering through. "Contact! Multiple hostiles, and they've got those adulterated rachni. Keep an eye on your flank and don't let them get a bead on you!"

Traynor watches Joker's screen, one of his haptic displays showing James' helmet cam. They watch as one of the Reaper troops freezes, some kind of biotic attack stopping it in its tracks. Within seconds, a flash of blue explodes the enemy, knocking every other one down within a ten-foot radius. James' gun is firing, a grenade lobbed and exploded. He turns away from Shepard to fire at something to his right, and once it's eliminated, he turns back to Shepard. Traynor and Joker watch as a few spider-like insects jump onto the Commander, and moments later a yellow warning light pops up on Joker's display, telling him that Shepard's shields are down. As if waiting in the wings for its time to shine, a single marauder takes a shot at Shepard, but she had been moving at the same time. The shot goes low, entering into her leg instead of her abdomen. Traynor stops breathing as Shepard screams in pain, turning toward the source. She charges, and moments later, the marauder is dead, it's head blown clean off. The camera feed becomes choppy, and it's clear that James is running to Shepard.

Joker switches the feed to one of an overhead data view provided by the ships sensors, and looks over at Traynor again.

"She took a shot, but she'll keep moving. All it's done now is piss her off more."

* * *

o.o.o

"Fuck. Fucking marauder. I didn't even see him on my damn sensor. I swear, if they've got cloaking abilities, I'm going to be pissed."

"Just hold still, I need to get medigel on this wound." Liara chides, pressing a hand to Shepard's leg. The wound wasn't bad, having been at such a high speed that it simply went out the other side of her quad muscle. With her hand firmly pressing, Liara had managed to stem the flow of blood, and the medigel being applied would seal and protect the wound.

"Shepard, what the hell is taking so damn long?"

"Oh, you know, just getting myself shot trying to save your entire species. Sorry it's taking so long." Shepard replies sarcastically. She is starting to feel increasingly irritated with her current set of circumstances.

"You should be! I'm the one sitting in a damn tomkah with a salarian and a female krogan who is just bursting with great ideas."

"Unless it's a way to take out that Reaper, I don't want to know." Shepard says with a hiss of pain as the medigel stings her leg. Liara looks up apologetically from her kneeling position beside Shepard.

"Actually, it is. But we'll fill you in once you get here. If you get here. You move slower than Patriarch."

With a nod, Liara indicates she's finished. Shepard stands up, testing out the pain in her leg. Her suit has administered pain medication as well an antibacterial medication in order to ward off infection, but she knows she's only got a couple hours until she'll need to see Chakwas.

Gradually progressing towards the rendezvous point, the trio encounter more and more resistance. Husks, cannibals, brutes, rachni and marauders greet them almost every step of the way. With adequate fire fueling her rage, Shepard has no issues taking out the forces, and with James consistently hitting the Reaper troops in weak spots, and Liara combining her biotic powers with Shepard's, they make short work on the enemies. They manage to make it to the trucks, jumping in as Kalros finally makes an appearance, taking out a tomkah behind them. They move towards the base of the Shroud, the earth shaking with the force of an angry thresher maw behind them.

* * *

o.o.o

"Jeff, I am reading that turian wing Artimec is moving in on Shepard's location. ETA six minutes."

"Noted." Joker replies, and Traynor switches her screen to the combat data being relayed by the turian fighter team. "Traynor, can you switch to audio? I want to see if we can get a sitrep here."

A moment of static forms the reply, and after a few seconds, the voice of Eve comes through the comm.

"… hammers, largest in existence. If we can get to them, we can use them to summon Kalros."

"Thresher maw territorial instinct confirmed. Should be enough to eliminate Reaper threat." Mordin adds.

"So, what. I activate the hammers, that giant thresher maw pops up and eats the Reaper? How do we know she won't see us first?"

"Ha, we don't! That's the fun part! Bet you didn't wake up today thinking 'I wonder if the mother of all thresher maws is going to eat me for supper'. Gotta keep you on your toes, Shepard."

"This whole planet does nothing but try and eat me. But I guess this is really our only option. No way are we going to kill that fucking thing on foot. Besides, we've done crazier things."

"That's the spirit, Shepard! You get in there and activate those hammers, and I'll keep these bastards busy."

"Lab nearby, will use it to finish synthesizing cure."

There's a brief pause in conversation, and Traynor can see that no one in the group is moving. She supposes half of them are crying. She knows she would be, given that there was an overwhelming sense that someone isn't going to make it.

"Let's get it done and get the hell out of here."

* * *

With a blinding pain in her side, Shepard can feel herself tossed airborne by a hit from a brute. She had been sprinting towards the second hammer, the first one activated moments ago. Unable to kill them with one hit, she was instead using the brutes as a kind of launching pad; charging into one to get fifty feet further ahead, then targeting another, moving further up the field. With the turian fighter squad back in action, the Reaper was thankfully not firing at the ground team anymore. Shepard could still feel the ringing in her ears from the blast of the red beam as she gets to her feet, targeting the last brute in front of the hammer. She manages to activate it, and yells for Liara and James to clear out.

"Lola…" James begins to protest.

"That's an order, Lieutenant. Grab Liara and get the fuck out of here. I'm going to meet Mordin at the base of the Shroud." Shepard shouts, the look on her face indicating she is done arguing. James and Liara both move simultaneously, hesitantly following the order to leave Shepard alone.

Moments later, Shepard finds herself scrambling around rubble, debris the size of boulders landing around her. Kalros was indeed real, and she was indeed very angry. A giant sandworm was in the process of slowly decimating a Reaper, it's enormous body wrapping around the machine as it tried desperately to hold on to life. As she jumps clear of the battle, Shepard watches as Kalros curls tightly around the appendages of the Reaper, and drags it into the earth.

Making her way into the Shroud facility, she sees Mordin typing earnestly into a control panel.

"Shepard, perfect timing."

"How's Eve?"

"Procedure traumatic, but not lethal. Eve getting to safety now. Must go to top of tower to dispense cure." Mordin says as he points in the direction of the elevator.

"Wait, you're not seriously going up there. That thing's going to explode Mordin. There must be another way." Shepard says, desperation filling her voice. So far, this entire mission has been one desperate attempt at surviving after another, and Shepard was tired of it. Her leg burned something fierce, she was pretty sure she had a few cracked ribs, and now this crazy salarian was thinking of committing suicide in the name of science, willingly sacrificing himself for the krogan.

"No other way. Must get to top of Shroud tower. Need to counteract STG sabotage. No. Not coming back. Suggest you get clear." Mordin says calmly, his wide eyes regarding Shepard.

Shepard can feel tears forming in her eyes as she watches Mordin purposefully move towards the elevator.

"Mordin, wait." Shepard says, moving towards the elevator door.

"Shepard, please. Need to do this. My project, my responsibility. Would've liked to run tests on seashells." He says, the mention of seashells almost an afterthought.

"I'm sorry."

"I'm not." Mordin replies with certainty. "Had to be me. Someone else might've gotten it wrong."

With a faint smile, and the feeling of loss, Shepard watches as Mordin rides the elevator to the top of the Shroud, her faith in victory going with him.


	39. The Quiet Things That No One Ever Knows

A/N: Watching E3 while writing fanfic doesn't make me that big of a nerd, right?

Right?

* * *

James, Liara, and Shepard exit the shuttle in a melancholy mood. Garrus meets them in the cargo bay, having heard Joker's whispered admission of Mordin's death. Garrus takes in the party disembarking the shuttle; Liara carried herself quietly, emotionally and physically supporting an obviously injured Shepard. James walked on Shepard's left, solemn and sporting a few cuts on his face. His jaw was set in a determined way, and he was paying close attention to the way Shepard was walking. Looking at Shepard, Garrus sees the weight of the world resting on her shoulders. Tear tracks line her cheeks, blood and dirt darkening her features. Her right arm around Liara's shoulder, she suddenly stops. Garrus watches as her knees give way underneath her, and she falls to the ground dragging Liara down with her.

Before Garrus has a chance to move more than a foot towards Shepard, he sees Liara anxiously look towards James and then around the cargo bay, locking eyes with Garrus.

"Shepard can't breath, get Chakwas down here now." She states, a slight panic creeping into her voice. Liara starts hurriedly removing Shepard's chest piece as the Commander gasps for breath. Having picked up on the request, EDI had notified Doctor Chakwas, who moments later comes bursting out of the elevator, two aides following close behind with a stretcher.

"Lieutenant, if you would kindly move aside, I would like access to my patient." Chakwas orders, and James clears away. Garrus watches as Chakwas kneels beside Shepard, and places an oxygen mask on her face as Liara removes her chest piece. Blood has coloured her compression suit, and he hears Liara's sharp intake of breath.

"Right, Commander, I need you to listen to me. We're going to move you to the stretcher and take you upstairs to the medbay."

"No, no I'm fine…" Shepard says between gasps of breath, trying to remove the oxygen mask at the same time.

"You are not fine, my dear girl. Garrus, please take Liara upstairs." Chakwas says briskly. With an apologetic look, Garrus approaches Liara, who currently has a death grip on Shepard's hand. Her face has gone pale, her eyes wide as she takes in the scene.

"C'mon Liara, let's get out of the way so Doctor Chakwas can take care of Shepard." Garrus says quietly, placing a taloned hand on Liara's shoulder. Shepard looks up at Garrus, resigning herself to follow Chakwas' order. Garrus watches her look from his hand back to his eyes.

"Get your hand off my girl, Vakarian." She says, her voice barely more than a whisper. The oxygen and the removal of her chest piece both helping her to breath better.

"Don't worry Shepard, I think for all my charm, she only has eyes for one of us." Garrus replies with a smirk.

With a wink to Liara, Shepard allows Chakwas' aides to move her to a stretcher, and the four of them move to the elevator, Chakwas rhyming off orders as they walk. Liara stands up beside Garrus, nervously wringing her hands in front of her.

"Logged: The commanding officer stands relieved, XO Vakarian has the deck."

* * *

o.o.o

Liara sat at her broker terminal an hour later, having been convinced by Garrus to shower, change, and relax while Shepard occupied the medbay. Chakwas had closed the shutters, and has not allowed anyone in since bringing Shepard up. Liara could feel her lovers mind; it was muted and distant from the painkillers, but present. Liara's attempt at relaxing had failed, and instead she decided to do some work while waiting for Chakwas. According to her operatives, everything was steadily going to hell in a proverbial hand basket. She had fewer and fewer operatives reporting in every day, which concerned her. There seemed to be something going on at the Citadel within the Council, but her operative there was unable to glean more information than simply 'something odd'. The news from Tuchanka however was like a breath of fresh air. Word had quickly spread about the genophage cure, Shepard and Urdnot Wrex being touted as heroes. To his credit, Wrex was quick to point out that a salarian was one to formulate a cure, and had given his life to save the krogan people. This news was met with skepticism that was quickly quelled by Liara's operatives. She didn't want this currently tenuous grasp on peace to fall apart so quickly.

Liara hears her door quietly beep, allowing entry. She looks up to see Shepard awkwardly smile as she tries her best to move towards Liara, the bandages around her ribcage making progress slow.

"Goddess, does Chakwas know you're here?" Liara asks as she quickly stands up and moves towards Shepard. Placing her hand on Shepard's right side, she gently guides her into the room.

"What, you think I'd escape from the medbay without Chakwas knowing? You overestimate me T'Soni." She replies as she leans some of her weight into Liara's hand as they start walking towards the bed. "She let me leave, under the condition that I report directly to your cabin. I vetoed a medical escort to try and save some of my pride. I have no doubt Chakwas watched me the entire way though. She's like a mother hen."

"Yes, one with a vested interest in your survival, and not just out of duty." Liara replies, helping Shepard sit down on the end of the bed. Her face briefly twists with pain before she settles, placing a hand gently on her ribs. Liara sits down on the bed beside her, crossing her legs underneath herself. Brushing some of her hair back behind her ear, Liara regards Shepard with concern. She was obviously exhausted, dark shadows under her eyes. Her normally pale complexion seemed even more dramatic, the stress of the mission and her body's injuries leaving their mark. She watches Shepard gently probe her left side with her fingers absentmindedly, and it's clear to Liara that Shepard has zoned out, clearly replaying something in her mind.

"The injuries must not be bad if Chakwas let you leave." Liara says as a way to bring Shepard back. Shepard shakes her head quickly, her eyes clearing as she turns to focus on Liara.

"Yeah, I'll be fine. A couple cracked ribs and a lot of bruising. The shot to my leg just grazed the outside of my thigh, so I just needed some magic glue that Doc has to put that back together. My ribs will take a bit longer to heal, so I'm off duty for a couple days. Which I really can't fucking afford to do." Shepard says, irritation entering her voice with the last statement.

"I'm glad you're going to be all right. You had me worried for a moment there."

"I'm invincible, babe. Didn't you know that?" Shepard replies dryly. Liara knows her lover quite well, and she understands that Shepard is trying to use humour to cover something up. She's hurt, and not just physically. Liara can feel it emanating off of her; a deep pain, regret, and remorse.

"I know you think you are. But even invincible, galaxy saving heroes need a break now and again." Liara says, placing a hand on Shepard's knee.

Shepard moves her own to cover Liara's hand, twining their fingers together. "I know. I just can't. How can I take a break while the Reapers are still out there? I've got missions to do, people to save. I can't do that by taking an impromptu leave."

Liara smiles at Shepard, hearing the pout in her voice. "You're the commander of a ship; Command. Delegate. Do what you need to do. But you are on order to rest. I have no doubt that I have a communication from Chakwas outlining your prognosis and your treatment, and I'm certainly not going to disobey her orders." Liara replies, watching Shepard look down at their hands. Liara knows it kills the Commander to stay still and let others do the work, preferring to help and be there to guide her team. She's never wanted to be a distant commander, and she has worked very hard to ensure she is approachable and has built a rapport with the people she served with. To sit back and watch everyone else work was not how Commander Shepard preferred to do things.

With a sigh, Shepard delicately leans back, slowly sliding herself along the bed until her head rests on a pillow. Liara follows, laying on her side to face her lover, supporting her head in her hand, placing her other hand gently on Shepard's stomach.

"God, who would've thought moving around on a bed would make you sweat. Well, that happens frequently. But this is the opposite of pleasurable." Shepard quips. Liara notes that she is still using her normal avoidance tactic, as well as having completely disregarded Liara's advise of delegation.

A few moments of silence passes, and Liara looks to see if Shepard has fallen asleep. Her eyes are closed, her dark lashes brushing against the pale of her cheeks, but Liara can tell by her breathing that she is awake. It doesn't take Shepard long to open her eyes and look at Liara, finally acquiescing to Liara's quiet insistence.

"I think I'll have Garrus lead the next mission. It needs to get done, I've been putting it off for over a week now. Councillor Valern sent me a message requesting that I meet him on the Citadel to discuss some idiotic shit Udina's pulled, but I need this mission done before we head there. I'll need James to go, and I don't think I could stop you from going if I tried."

Liara frowns, "I don't understand. Why would I want to go that badly?"

"Well, it has to do with Protheans, and some artifact Cerberus has found."

Liara's mouth drops open, and she sees the look of amusement cross Shepard's face.

"Why didn't you tell me about this?" Liara asks, lightly pinching Shepard's stomach in rebuke. Shepard laughs, swatting Liara's hand away.

"Because, I had a million other things on the go. I figured curing the genophage was more important than some thousand year old Prothean relic anyways." She replies with a wink.

"Goddess, what if it's information for the device? Or some other treasure trove of Prothean information?" Liara asks, and Shepard's face lights up with a smile as she watches the curiosity surface on Liara's face.

"Don't get too excited there, Doctor. We don't know what it is. We just know Cerberus unearthed something and we can't have them keeping it." Shepard says, brushing Liara's cheek with the back of her hand. "Fortunately, it's not buried in some desolate wasteland. It's on Eden Prime."

Liara's eyes meet Shepard's, the irony of the situation glaringly obvious. "So we go back to where it all began in an attempt to end it all." She says quietly.

"Yep. Crazy huh? Who would've thought, while we were running around trying to keep our asses alive, that we were walking right past the exact thing that could maybe end all this insanity."

The pair fall into a momentary silence, Shepard replaying the mission from years ago, Liara processing with an analytical mind what information could have been found, and the impact that data could have on the entire galaxy. Liara absentmindedly runs her fingers along the smooth skin of Shepard's stomach, and she feels her lover flinch slightly. Looking at Shepard, she sees pain cross her face as a spasm of pain shoots up her ribcage.

"Sorry Cora. I wasn't thinking. I didn't mean to go that close." Liara whispers, coming back to reality and the obvious discomfort of the Commander. Watching her closely, Liara waits to see if Shepard will begin talking about today's events. When it becomes clear that she has no desire to, Liara pushes her into it.

"I'm sorry about Mordin. I know this can't be easy on you."

Shepard's brows knit together, and a sadness becomes evident in her eyes as she turns her head to look at Liara. The unspoken words she sees there are heavier than anything Shepard could say, but she begins speaking regardless.

"Yeah, he was a good friend. He was so certain, too. He knew he wasn't going to come back, but he didn't hesitate. The genophage took over his entire life, and he gave his life to stop it all." She says as she brings her hand up to hold Liara's. "And no one will ever know that he made that sacrifice. Just us, Wrex and Eve. The krogan will go on believing that the salarians want nothing but their destruction, when they lost their finest scientist who just wanted to help."

"I'm not so sure. Eve is in the Kelphic valley rallying the krogan, and both her and Wrex have been quick to point out who distributed the cure."

"I doubt most krogan will want to believe that though. They're going to be content to repopulate and expand, oblivious in their resurrection. They won't know that it came at a huge cost." Shepard says, and Liara can hear the emotion in her voice. Shepard closes her eyes, and Liara watches her chest rise and fall in Shepard's attempt to calm herself down. The action merely causes pain, and she exhales with frustration.

"And the worst part of it is that he died following my orders. I didn't save the krogan, Mordin did. I didn't ride that elevator to the top, Mordin did. He confidently walked into a mass of krogan and told them he's going to cure them. Half of them wanted to kill him on the spot. But he didn't care. He had one objective, and he got it done. I have one objective, and it sickens me. Seeing that Reaper down there, running around it's feet while it tried to kill us terrified me. I lost all hope, and I honestly didn't think we'd make it out alive. But Mordin faced his mission with determination. And I killed him for it." Shepard states with a bitter laugh. Liara waits patiently, knowing the storm isn't quite over yet. "How many more of my friends do I have to kill just to make it through a day? I had to leave Ash behind, watch her vitals on a screen in the cargo bay fade to nothing. But it meant the mission was completed. I had to watch Mordin disappear up an exploding tower to distribute a cure, but the mission was a success. Who else do I have to watch die just to finish the objective? Because I swear, if I need to sacrifice you or Garrus or anyone else, I won't. I'll gladly let the Reapers wipe us out, because I am not destroying my soul for them."

"Cora, you didn't kill anyone."

"The fact that Ash and Mordin aren't around anymore kind of disproves that." Shepard replies with an exhale.

"Listen. Ash, Mordin, and anyone else put in that position accepted their fate with grace and dignity. They knew the sacrifice that was required of them, just as you do. Ash was a soldier through and through. She died knowing she was making a difference, and bettering the whole. Mordin as well. He never wavered because he never would have thought to. His destiny was to finish what he started, what his species started. And he walked that line gladly. Cora, you aren't a monster. You aren't sending people to their deaths on a whim. And if one day that is asked of me…"

"Don't. Don't even say it."

"If it's asked of me, I will do it. If it saves you, or Garrus, or my father, or anyone I love, I will do that for you. Each of us is more important than we realize. Look what we achieved because of Ash's heroism. You saw the paintings in the city of the ancients. The krogan will rise again because of Mordin's sacrifice. Your order was to stop Saren, not for Ash to die. Your order was to cure the genophage, not to have Mordin go it alone. Don't despair, Cora. I know these decisions weigh heavy on your heart, but your soul is intact. I can feel it whenever we meld. Your heart is kind but burdened. But that does not make you evil."

Shepard regards Liara, tears pooling in her green eyes. Liara brushes a strand of hair away from Shepard's face as she leans down and kisses her cheek then her lips. Shepard reaches up slowly, ignoring the pain in her side, and holds on to the back of Liara's neck as she touches her forehead to Liara's.

"It all just feels so heavy. I don't want to make these decisions. I don't want to do this." Shepard says quietly as a tear rolls down her cheek. "This isn't what I signed on for."

"You signed on to kill bad guys, to save innocents and to make the galaxy a better place. And that's exactly what you're doing. Don't discount your emotions, but you're the only one making a difference in the lives of millions."

Liara leans back, seeing some of the distress quietening in Shepard's eyes. Shepard runs her hand down Liara's neck, closing her eyes.

"Will you stay with me?"

"Of course, Shepard." Liara says with a smile.


	40. Riders In The Sky (Ghost)

A/N: First of all, Mass Effect: Andromeda, am I right? The Carnifex and the soldier/adventurer turning around and you see the N7... I fangirled pretty hard. Well done, Bioware.

Second of all, I've named this chapter in honour of ME:A, as well as having put a few things in this chapter relating to it. I hope you enjoy it :)

* * *

"Garrus, talk to me."

"We're just heading towards what looks like the dig site. Nothing interesting since you last checked in a minute ago, Shepard."

Shepard frowns, leaning against the railing above the galaxy map. Garrus was right, she had just checked in a minute ago.

"Sorry, Garrus. Can't help myself. I'm not used to being a backseat driver."

"Well, I am, and let me tell you; taking point on this is harder than I thought. I'm not used to trailblazing. But I have to admit, it's easier than being in the back seat of the Mako."

"Hey. I loved that thing."

"We know, Shepard. We all have fond memories of you trying to make it airborne." Liara replies through the comm channel.

"Maybe once all this is over, the Alliance will make a fancy new one for me. But in the mean time, just find what we're looking for and keep me updated. Shepard out."

Shepard walks gingerly down the steps, the pain in her leg almost gone, only to be replaced by the feeling of extremely fatigued muscles. Her ribs felt better than they had yesterday, but breathing still caused her pain. It irritated her, but she trusted Chakwas' decision. If she were down on Eden Prime right now, she would be a serious liability to her team. She knew Garrus was able to lead, and she trusted him completely. With James and Liara providing backup, she had no concerns about their ability to retrieve the high-priority package and return home.

Moving towards her private terminal, Shepard opens up her inbox. Scanning through quickly, she sees the odd spam communication, one from a very disappointed dalatrass, one from Jack…

 _Wait, Jack?_

To: C. Shepard  
From: Grissom Academy - J. Nought  
Subject: Andromeda/Pirates/Thanks

Hey Shepard. Just wanted to thank you for that team of marines you sent through. Me and my kids wouldn't have made it without them. Fucking Cerberus. But it was awesome to get to kill a few before the big damn heroes showed up.

Anyways, I got some shit to do, but I'm gonna be on the Citadel for a bit. You should swing by. We can get all fucked up and find some hookers. Maybe take off to that neighbouring galaxy, Andromeda. I heard no one's been there before. Might be fun to find a new place away from all this bullshit.  
_

Shepard read through the communication once more, a puzzled frown on her face.

"EDI, where did Jack end up after the Normandy went to Earth?"

"Subject Zero remained on the ship, as she refused to advise Miranda where to drop her off. I believe Jack did not have a location in mind, given that she only knew the crew of the Normandy."

"Let's maybe get to the answer here, EDI."

"I apologize. Jack was offered a position within the Alliance a few weeks after the Normandy docked at SA HQ. Her background check had produced a clear disassociation from Cerberus, given her history with them. Anderson, Hackett, and the Shadow Broker all worked to insure that the Alliance not put Jack on trial, citing that she would be better off as an ally. A position as a biotics instructor was available at Grissom Academy, and Jack reported for duty there, her direct supervisor being Kahlee Sanders."

"No shit. Wow. Good for her." Shepard replies, impressed with how far Jack had come. She was probably still the angry spitfire she had always been, but at least now she had a purpose. Shepard had wanted to complete the mission herself, however once it was established that Mordin had created a cure for the genophage, Shepard did not want time wasted. She had messaged Hackett, requesting a team of marines head to Grissom Academy to rescue the students. Hackett had reported that the mission was a success, but hadn't mentioned anything about Jack.

"Garrus to Normandy."

"Go ahead."

"Shepard, you are not going to believe this. The Prothean artifact that Cerberus recovered? It's not an artifact. It's an actual Prothean."

Shepard pauses for a moment, attempting to register what Garrus has just told her. Traynor had looked over with an equally confused look on her face.

"EDI, can you run a scan on what the shore party has found?"

"Scanning. Shepard, it appears that Garrus is correct. I am reading life signs in the stasis pod, but they are weak."

"I think Cerberus may have damaged the pod when they tried to open it. Stasis pods are not meant to be opened unless a specific code is entered. They likely do not have it, and therefore tried brute force." Liara adds, and Shepard can hear the reverence and wonder in her voice.

"Ok, so let me just wrap my head around this. You found a real live Prothean down there, in a stasis pod that's been buried for 50,000 years, and it still has power."

"That is precisely what we have found." Liara replies, almost giggling into the comm. "We saw the same pods on Ilos. The only reason those stasis pods failed was lack of power. They are designed to last a very long time."

"Well. Good job, Cerberus. Still as useless as ever." Shepard says. "Ok, find those codes and get the hell out of there. Cerberus won't be far behind once they realize you've made it there."

"Speak of the devil. Contact! We've got two of those slippery snipers and a centurion, moving to cover." James pipes in.

Shepard switches the comm off, letting her team work. She couldn't believe what they had found. An actual Prothean, one who could possibly tell them about the device, or provide information for it. Shepard allowed herself a brief moment of hope, and she switched her terminal to display the helmet cam of Liara.

They had cleared out the enemies, and were moving father into the compound. Empty pre-fab buildings are littered with corpses, windows smashed in or cracked, and bullet holes in practically everything. Shepard watches calmly as the team engage another wave of Cerberus troopers, but they are easily dispatched. _Huh. No wonder fire fights are so easy. These guys are pretty damn good._

As the team move through the base, they enter into what looks like a vid comm room, a screen displaying a warning signal above a console. Switching on the audio, Shepard listens in to find out what's going on. As Garrus presses a button, the screen fills with static for a brief moment, but soon it's displaying an image of chaos. Shepard is drawn in, watching what she assumes is the fall of a Prothean city. Unfamiliar aliens move around the familiar shapes of the Collectors, fighting for their lives.

"It's just static, let's keep moving." She hears Garrus say.

"No, stop. Liara, keep looking at that screen." Shepard says. James and Garrus both look at Liara, confusion evident in their body language. Shepard watches the screen, and notices a code entered that opens up a stasis pod. The vid ends with a flash, and Shepard stays silent for a moment, not knowing what to make of it.

"Did you see something, Shepard?" Liara asks.

"Yeah, I can't believe you guys didn't."

"No, all we saw was static. Perhaps they function like the Prothean beacons did on Mars." Liara says speculatively.

"That doesn't make sense though. I'm not there."

"Well, technically you are." Liara switches quickly to a private comm channel. "Melds allow us to sense each other, as we become one mind during them. It is possible that this signal senses your presence within my mind. Asari are even able to sense when another is bonded, or even if someone has melded recently, considering that a meld is a very strong thing. It leaves a mental residue, if you will. It is just a theory, but the only one that would make sense." Liara explains quietly, switching back to the general frequency.

"Huh. I did not know that. Alright, well I have the code. I feel like there's probably a few more though. Find the rest and patch me in when you need me. Shepard out."

* * *

o.o.o

Six hours later, Shepard and Liara walk out of the port cargo hold, Liara shaking her head disbelievingly. They had just finished a rather discouraging conversation with the last Prothean, and his high and mighty demeanor grated on Shepard's nerves. She could only imagine at the emotions one would feel after waking up 50,000 years later, only to discover an entirely new galaxy. She'd only been gone two years and she had struggled. But Javik was something else.

"So… that was a thing." Shepard says, rubbing the back of her neck as she walked with Liara to the elevator.

"I had expected… well, I don't know what I expected. Certainly not that though. Looks like we're no further ahead than we were this morning." Liara says despairingly. As they enter the elevator, Shepard takes Liara's hand in hers.

"It's not a failure Li. We didn't know we'd be getting an actual Prothean, so I'd say we're one step ahead. Could you imagine what he would've done to Cerberus if that had managed to open the pod? I'd almost feel bad for them."

Liara smiles faintly, pressing the button for the crew deck. "You're right. And I'm fairly certain he would've sensed the indoctrination on them and would have just killed them where they stood."

"Yep. Dumbasses. Seriously, they were not that stupid when I worked for them." Shepard says with a smile. She leans down to kiss Liara chastely as the elevator doors open. "I gotta get to the medbay. Chakwas wants to check up on me, make sure I haven't broken anything just by breathing. Why don't you meet me in my cabin in an hour and we'll have dinner together?"

"I'd like that, Shepard. I'll bring something up."

* * *

o.o.o

Traynor sat across from Shepard, watching the Commander contemplate her move. So far, she'd been an admirable opponent. But the tactics Shepard used on the battlefield were not working so well for her here. Shepard had her elbows on her knees, her hands under her chin, staring at the chess pieces.

"Y'know, they aren't going to move on their own."

"Shh. I'm thinking."

Silence falls in the cabin again. Shepard moves her hand as if to reposition a pawn, but stops short of touching it, placing her hand under her chin again. Traynor can see what the best option would be, but there's no way she's giving a hint. Finally, with a determined nod, Shepard moves a piece on the board, smiling triumphantly.

Traynor flicks her eyes down to the board, moves one piece, and declares check-mate. The smile is quickly replaced by a frown on Shepard's face, and she sighs once more.

"My word, I had heard you were a phenomenal tactician, Commander." Traynor remarks slyly.

"I am. That move would've worked out in the field."

"I'm sure it would have. But in the field, you have squad mates who move at the same time, and no one moves on an eight-by-eight square grid."

"Still. I should've won. Although this is better than the time I played cards with James. The guy swore off playing with me ever again after he spent twenty minutes just trying to find all the damn cards." Shepard says, chuckling to herself.

"Bit of a sore loser, Commander?" Traynor asks with a smile.

"Yeah, just a bit."

The door to Shepard's cabin slides open, and Liara enters with a tray of food. Shepard looks over with a smile, but Traynor stands up immediately, blushing and muttering something about needing to be somewhere else. As she practically runs past Liara, both of them watch her go with puzzled amusement.

"Apparently you have that affect on people." Shepard says as she slowly stands up to help Liara.

"Me? All I did was walk into the room. It's you that she has eyes for."

Shepard stares at Liara, squinting her eyes in confusion. _Wait a second. Is this a trap? Because this feels like a trap. Maybe I should call for backup._

"Um… I'm not sure what you want me to say to that." Shepard says honestly. Liara places the tray down on the table in front of the couch, and turns back around to look at Shepard, a smile on her lips.

"There's nothing you can say, really. I can just tell. She blushes any time she sees you, particularly when you bumped into her the other day in the mess hall, and again just now…"

"Hey, she was perfectly amicable before you showed up. I think it's you she has a crush on." Shepard responded playfully, moving towards Liara. She places her hands on Liara's hips, moving her lips down the side of Liara's neck.

"Shepard… maybe just eat first…" Liara protests, feeling her heart rate bumping up a notch.

Shepard leans back, entirely convinced that Liara has no idea of the innuendo, but deciding to play it up anyways.

"Is that what you want, Li?" Shepard asks, raising an eyebrow. Liara stares at Shepard, trying to figure out why the mention of dinner would cause this reaction. When Shepard still hasn't answered Liara's unspoken question, she leans forward with a laugh, whispering something into Liara's aural cavity.

Seconds later, Liara blushes a deep purple, before slapping Shepard on her arm. "Cora!"

Shepard laughs whole heartedly, unable to stop herself from being entirely too crass. "Sorry Li, I couldn't help it. Fuck, that was funny."

"Sit down and eat your dinner. Goddess. You're as bad as James." Liara says, frowning at her lover.

"Yeah, well. I'm saving the galaxy. I feel like I'm allowed a few concessions."


	41. Rescue Me

Cora Shepard was used to anomalies. She was used to looking at a situation and seeing the odd factors intertwined with reality. She could identify what was real from what was absurd. She's spoken to a harbinger of galactic destruction. She's watched politicians, councillors, and high ranking military officials do some of the most asinine things that no one would ever have thought possible. She's witnessed the fall of multiple species, and has met the avatar of one. But the one thing Cora Shepard didn't think was possible, was occurring right in front of her.

She could hear her heart beat in her ear, feel her rapid pulse in a frantic pace of what ifs. Her hands held fast to the extension of herself that she so often wielded, its haptic display showing that the ammo would ignite. Her feet were planted firmly on the smooth surface, her stance perfect in its training. Her green eyes stared down the length of her gun, as she watched her target move to the side. It was hesitant, but certain. The stance was similar, if not a bit more grounded. The targets hands were not shaking; the eyes were not wavering. The singular devotion was evident. A brief deliberation, a momentary thought passing through the oculus of the objective was disregarded, and her hands held fast, the gun remained steady.

"I don't want to, but I will."

A flicker of doubt in the targets eyes was immediately replaced with certainty at the statement.

"This is insane. How do I know you aren't part of this?"

Her brow furrowed at the insinuation, the words like a kick in the stomach.

"We're still on this? You can't fucking move past it, can you?"

The intended target moved towards a terminal. Her green eyes followed, her arms unyielding, her finger on the trigger.

"I'm going to do my job. You want to shoot me? Fine. But I promise you, you will not live to fire another bullet if you do."

She hears the click of a talon on the trigger beside her, and knows that her allies have their guns trained on one person alone.

The inadvertent target weighs his options, and she can see the deliberation. She can see the shadow of distrust, but finally, the concession.

"I better not regret this."

Her arms relax minutely; the muzzle drops by a millimetre.

"Same here."

She watches as he turns around, his gun now trained on the real enemy. His stance is uncertain, but a singular devotion is his motivation.

"Udina, step away from the console."

* * *

o.o.o

She sat outside the doors of the hospital room hours later, clutching a small book in her hand. Tucked away in a corner of Huerta Memorial, only a few doctors bustled past. With her knees drawn up to her chest, Shepard watches as everyone around her fought to keep someone alive. Except the one behind her had just lost his battle. With tears stinging her eyes, she looked down at the book. Leather bound, with writing in a language she didn't understand, she ran her fingers across the embossed letters. The smooth hide was well worn with use, and the corners of each page were darkened by desperate fingers seeking answers. Shepard's tired gaze travelled through the people around her, and with a sigh, she wept. Her tears came in a flood of remorse and thorough sadness. As she sat in front of the door, she brought her head down onto her arms and cried for the one person in the galaxy who had just come alive again. She cried for his son, who even now prayed over him. She cried for Kaidan, a comrade who was alive and well, but could not trust her. She cried for Mordin, and his selflessness. And she cried for Ashley, the spit-fire of a marine who was so honest and loyal.

Moments pass, and Shepard collects herself, standing up and wiping the tears off her cheeks. She could feel the stares of doctors and interns, most of whom knew who she was but didn't want to interrupt. She walked through the sterile hallways, and into the chaos of the lounge. As if prompted by some unspoken word, reporters were waiting by the elevator door, a few security guards trying to keep them back once they had spotted Shepard. She stops cold, and she can feel her anger rising, and with it came the threat of new tears. Tears of exhaustion and frustration.

To her left comes a familiar bulk, and she sees James approach. He doesn't make any move to talk or stop her, he just stands beside her. To her right she feels the familiar sensation of Liara, and catches her scent as she comes to stand beside her lover. Garrus materializes, and moves to stand in front of Shepard, blocking her view of the reporters as he stands at an angle, waiting for Liara's cue. With a nod, she prompts Garrus to move, and he turns around and starts walking. Shepard feels Liara's hand move to her own, and she finds herself moving towards the elevator surrounded by some of her crew. They had effectively made a wall around her, protecting her from the onslaught of curious reporters. Garrus glared at them menacingly, James elbowed them aside, and Liara gently flared her biotics in response to the reporter's inquiries. Before she had a chance to process it, Shepard was in the elevator, her three companions blocking the door as it closes.

Her shoulders slump, and as Garrus and James remain standing at the elevator door, Liara moves towards Shepard. With a sob, Shepard buries her face into Liara's neck, and cries for those who have been lost.

* * *

o.o.o

Kaidan waits in the airlock, a determined look on his face as he stares out at the Normandy. The proposition from Hackett had been a phenomenal one, but he would give it all up to be back on that ship again. Joker wasn't letting him on, and he couldn't figure out if that was a by-product of an order, or just Joker being obstinate. Garrus, Liara, and James had walked through a few moments ago, but only Liara had acknowledged him. Kaidan had no doubt that Liara's courteous smile hid what she truly believed. She had greeted him as a friend, but he could tell she was not interested in talking long. If he was able to return to the Normandy, he knew there would be a lot of amends to make. But the main one to start with would be Shepard. If he could get her to believe his sincere apology, the rest would follow.

The doors hiss open, and he sees the Commander walk through. She looks tired and drained, and he notices a small leather book in her hands. Her eyes are rimmed in red as though she has been crying, and he is thankful that her rank means he doesn't need to ask her if she's ok; he doesn't want the rebuke of intruding into her personal feelings.

"Hey Kaidan. I'd wondered where you'd gone."

"Hey Shepard. Sorry I took off, I got swept up in making sure the Council was safe."

Shepard crosses her arms in front of her, and leans back on her right foot. The pose was familiar and even comforting to Kaidan, and he relaxes a little, letting himself slip back into the old familiarity he had with Shepard.

"Anyways, I just wanted to see you before you guys shipped out."

Shepard raises an eyebrow at the statement. "You aren't coming with us?"

"I didn't know that would be an option."

Shepard sighs, her posture relaxing slightly. "Look, I know the last year hasn't exactly been easy when it comes to our interactions. I pretty much swore to myself that if I ever saw you again, I'd either punch you or shoot you in the foot. But as much as you've hurt me, and as much as you distrust me, you're a good solider Kaidan. And a friend. I can't see us winning this thing without you. I've watched too many people I love die or walk out of my life. I don't want that to keep happening."

Kaidan watches Shepard, and he can see the look of pain in her eyes. He knows he's been an ass, and has put his mistrust on the wrong person.

"That means a lot to me Shepard. I'm sorry I haven't had your back. I need you to know that I will never doubt you again."

He watches her lips form into a faint smile, and suddenly feels as though a weight has been lifted off his shoulders.

"Good. Just one thing though."

"What's that?"

"If you ever point a gun at me again, it'll be the last thing you ever do."

Kaidan notes a hint of steel reflected in her eyes, and knows she isn't lying.

"Yes ma'am."

"Alright. Welcome aboard, Major."

"Thanks Commander. It's good to be home."


	42. The Bright Young Things

Shepard trails her finger along Liara's arm as she watches her lover. Goosebumps follow in a trail that steadily widens as Shepard reaches Liara's wrist. She lay beside Liara, her arm tucked under her head as she lay on her side. She begins the pattern again, her fingers lazily heading in the opposite direction as she marvels at the soft feel of the slightly pebbled skin below her finger tips. Liara's wrist moves as she turns the page of the book she's reading, and Shepard watches the gentle flexion of the muscles. Right now they are still and quiet, the mundane movement of turning a page hiding the strength she knows is in those muscles.

"Are you analyzing me?" Liara asks in a whisper.

"I think so. I don't know what I'm doing. I just like the feel of your skin."

Liara smiles and closes the book, placing it down on the side of the bed. She moves her hands out of the way, and Shepard instinctively repositions, resting her head on Liara's stomach, her arm across Liara's hips. From her position against the headboard, Liara realizes she can't kiss Shepard, and instead settles for running her fingers through Shepard's hair. It was still slightly damp from her shower, and the curls formed themselves around her finger as she toyed with the strands.

Moments pass, and Liara is sure Shepard is asleep. She herself starts to doze off, when a sudden question from Shepard brings her back.

"What do you think about a shore leave?"

"Are you asking my professional opinion, or are you asking for the opinion of your partner?"

"Both."

"Well, as one of your unofficial officers, I would say that although our mission is important and time sensitive, one cannot operate a successful mission with a crew that is exhausted. They've been going at it for a month now with little reprieve. They've lost family members and friends, and the reports coming in from each Staff Sergeant are ones of low morale and even less hope. Now, as your partner, my opinion is that you need a rest. You've lost weight, you're not eating. The only way I can get you to put in a decent night's rest is… well, you know."

"That's my favourite way to get ready for bed." Shepard adds as she rests her hand on Liara's thigh.

"Mine as well." Liara replies with a smile. "But honestly, Cora. You need a break. You need a couple of days where there are no missions and no crises. Your mind and body are in constant states of fight or flight. If you could see your mind the way I can, you'd order yourself to take a break as well." Liara adds as she runs her hand down the back of Shepard's neck.

"It's just that I feel so fucking guilty for even thinking it. Anderson isn't getting a shore leave. Hackett isn't either. I should be able to push on, and my crew are professionals. They should too."

"Cora, you know as well as I do that Anderson and Hackett are just buying us time. You are the crux, the one that all hopes are laying on. And you also know that if either of them saw the real you, instead of the Commander Shepard portrayed through your briefings, we wouldn't be having a discussion about shore leave. You'd already be on one."

A long moment of silence passes before Shepard speaks again.

"EDI?"

"Yes Shepard?"

"Do you need any major repairs?"

"The Normandy does require repairs; however, I am not damaged to the point of being unable to sustain life or maintain combat. I would recommend a new coating on our Solaris armour, considering space debris has damaged some of the protective layer. We are also at 78% and 69% efficiency in the starboard engines, 79% and 51% efficiency in the port side engines."

"How long would we need in order to complete the repairs?" Liara interjects.

"The work is merely maintenance, and could be completed in two days barring any other issues that may present themselves before we return."

Another pause while Shepard contemplates. Liara can feel Shepard's breath against her stomach as she exhales heavily.

"Alright. Thanks EDI. I'll let the crew know in the morning that we're on shore leave. We'll take two days to run a routine maintenance on the Normandy, and let everyone relax for a bit."

"Understood."

Liara strokes the back of Shepard's neck, content that her lover has decided to take some time off.

"So, what are you going to do with your leave?" she asks quietly.

"We are going on a date, and then we are going to get fucking drunk."

* * *

o.o.o

"Good morning crew, this is Commander Shepard. As of 0900 hours, we will be commencing shore leave. The duration of the leave will be two solar days and we will be departing docking bay D-24 as of 2100 hours on November 2nd. While docked at the Citadel, the Normandy will be undergoing minor repairs to ensure that when we are back out there, we can kick some Reaper ass." Shepard pauses as a dozen ooh-rah's resound through the CIC. "Please make sure we have no incidents like last time, as I am not interested in bailing any of you out of C-Sec confinement again. You get yourself in, you get yourself out." Shepard notices a few of the marines in the CIC blush and avoid making eye contact. "That being said, have fun. No one said this would be easy, but we might as well take some time to recharge while we can. Report in with your Staff Sergeant, and get the fuck off this ship. Shepard out." She finishes, smiling with her last few words.

The CIC promptly begins to come alive with personnel flying in every direction. Shepard stands at the galaxy map, hands behind her back, and watches with contentment. The last twenty-four hours had been one unexpected outcome after another, and Shepard was physically and emotionally drained. Watching Thane die in front of her had shaken her to the core, not to mention almost having to shoot a friend. The excitement around her now was palpable, and she hoped that she would gain some recovery from the time off as well. Looking around the CIC, she looks down and catches Traynor staring at her with an almost scared look in her eyes.

"Traynor, I was joking. If you find yourself in C-Sec confinement, I have to bail you out. Just don't tell anyone else that." Shepard says in a conspiratory whisper as she approaches Traynor. The specialist blushes and quickly looks away, talking to Shepard while staring off in another direction.

"Oh, it wasn't that Commander. I've never been in trouble or arrested or anything like that before."

"No kidding?" Shepard replies, the sarcasm subtle enough that Traynor doesn't catch on. "So what then? From what EDI said, you came back from our last shore leave quite happy. Clearly you have something planned."

Shepard watches Traynor wring her hands in front of her, her brown eyes making contact once again.

"Well, perhaps. I met someone last time we were on leave, and we sort of planned to meet up again on our next furlough."

"Wow, you don't fuck around hey? That was quick." Shepard replies, crossing her arms in front of her. Traynor smiles, and Shepard can see that she's clearly quite enamored with whomever she has met. Knowing that falling for someone still happened while the entire galaxy was at war was oddly comforting, and Shepard felt her mood improving as she returns the smile.

"Yes, well, it was unexpected. We kind of just bumped into each other. I'm just nervous I suppose." Traynor says, and quite suddenly, the far off look in her eyes disappears, and she stares at Shepard again. "And I really should not be bothering you with this. Sorry Commander."

"It's all right. I don't really have much to do. Liara enlisted Garrus to coordinate the leave with Citadel control and C-Sec, and Liara is handling everything else because she doesn't want me to do anything. So I'm kinda like a fish out of water." Shepard says as she shrugs, scanning the CIC. The crew were now busy finalizing reports and setting up runtime routines for their data while they were on leave. Shepard knew EDI would take care of that, but setting up the routines was familiar for the human crew, and part of their training. Their lives had been altered enough, and Shepard had decided long ago that whatever kept them focused and made them happy, made her happy.

"So, what's she like?" Shepard asks, and can tell that Traynor is taken aback slightly by her bluntness.

"Um… well, other than the regular adjectives one would use to describe someone they're smitten with, she's intelligent, varying kinds of mysterious, and entirely out of my league."

"Well, clearly you two have a connection. What's her name? Would I know her?"

Traynor pauses, a warning bell going off in her head. She is quite aware Miranda and Shepard worked together, but what she doesn't know is if that working relationship was amicable, or if they secretly loathed each other. Shepard has an innate distrust of Cerberus, and considering Traynor's brief understanding of Miranda's history with them, she assumes that they don't get along.

"You would, Commander. Her name is Miranda Lawson."

Shepard stares at Traynor, displeasure shoving contentment out the window.

"Huh. That's… unexpected." Shepard remarks, trying to keep her tone even. "Small galaxy."

"Ironically, it seems that way, Commander." Traynor says hesitantly. Shepard can see her trying not to recoil from what she assumes are the daggers she is currently throwing from her eyes. Shepard takes stock of her current emotions: jealousy, resentment, surprise, all present and accounted for. She knows that those emotions should not even play into this scenario. To her, Miranda was someone who existed in a state of mystery, vulnerability, and elegance. Shepard's mind didn't associate her with anything remotely like a one-night stand, or a full blown relationship. She had a soft spot in her heart for Miranda, and knew Miranda felt the same. The thought of someone else intruding into that bond caused her to feel something she didn't expect. The look of uncertainty on Traynor's face made her realize though that it's unfair of her to take that out on Traynor. The Specialist was clearly enamoured, and Shepard herself was far from unhappy in her own relationship.

"Sorry Traynor, didn't mean to sound harsh. It was just unexpected is all. Miranda and I know each other quite well."

Traynor's shoulders slump down in an obvious sign of relief at Shepard's statement. "No worries, Commander. I'm quite surprised by it myself. Honestly though, I'm sure I've wasted enough of your time, and I really should focus on getting everything organized for my absence."

"Yeah, of course. Sorry Specialist. See you at Purgatory tonight?"

"I believe that is the plan, Commander."

* * *

o.o.o

Kaidan sat in the crew quarters of the Normandy, pouring over duty rosters. As the newly appointed Chief Petty Officer, he had a lot of catching up to do. He was now responsible for the entire crew, answerable only to Shepard and Garrus. When Kaidan was offered the role, he had been surprised. As CPO, it would be his duty to liaise between the crew and Shepard, keeping everything running smoothly. It was a remarkable amount of trust to have placed on him, considering just a day ago he was pointing a gun at this commanding officer. The assignment was not one he was going to take lightly, and even with the entire crew disembarked, he remained reading the rosters and assigning shifts.

He hears the quiet hiss of the door open, and looks up to see Shepard. He has to catch himself from letting his jaw drop. She was wearing a pair of black dress pants, perfectly form fitting and sitting low on her hips. The dark green top she was wearing showed off her muscular arms, but hugged her in a way that her incredibly feminine curves were still visible. Her black hair was down and curling around her shoulders, and dark makeup finished off her look.

"Commander. You look… uh… yeah. You look good."

"Eyes up here, Major. What are you still doing here? Leave started hours ago." She said, humour reflecting in her eyes at the way Kaidan stumbled over his greeting.

"I just wanted to go over these rosters. And honestly, I've been on forced leave for the past four weeks. I don't think I need to take a break."

"Valid point. Well, you are officially on leave, but I get what you're saying. There are quite a few differences from the SR-1 to this ship, so it might not be a bad idea to get to know her. That, and the crew are entirely different. Well, except for the few of us SR-1 veterans."

Kaidan smiles, and nods his reply. "Yeah, that's what I was thinking. I'll take some time, get to know a few names, and explore the ship. Maybe get to know EDI a bit better. Y'know, she scared the hell out of me when I first came on board. Why didn't anyone tell me that the mech that tried to kill me would be roaming around the ship?"

Shepard laughs, having completely forgotten to mention it to Kaidan beforehand. Joker had told her of the interaction at the airlock between EDI, who had just been passing by, and Kaidan.

"Sorry Kaidan, I totally forgot. Different operator now though." She says with a smile.

"I would like to mention that I have no intention of inflicting harm on you, Major. Any hostilities that previously occurred between you and this platform were not of my design." EDI mentions.

"It's alright, I appreciate the concern though. I'm not too worried. If you, and Joker, trust EDI, then I do as well. But more to the point, you should get out of here Shepard. I'll be fine. Besides, you probably have someone waiting patiently for you."

Shepard smiles, knowing that Liara is no doubt waiting at the airlock. She does, however, doubt there is anything patient about it.

"Ok. Let me know if you need anything. And don't forget to take a break." Shepard says, raising her eyebrows in order to gain a confirmation from Kaidan.

"I will, and I won't forget, Commander. Thanks."

Shepard smiles, and turns towards the airlock. She was beginning to feel relaxed, and the prospect of dinner out with Liara was actually very enticing. As she walks through the bare CIC, and towards the empty cockpit, she sees her lover leaning against the door frame. Dressed in a silver dress in the style favoured by the asari, Shepard feels her breath catch in her throat. The colour of the dress accented the beautiful blue of Liara's skin, and the dress itself was skin tight. The perfect swell of each of Liara's curves was accented perfectly, and Shepard feels herself smile as she approaches Liara. Reaching out her arm, Liara twines her forearm into the crook of Shepard's elbow.

"You look beautiful." Shepard whispers, leaning in to kiss Liara on her cheek.

"So do you." Liara replies with a smile.

"This old thing? You should see what's underneath." Shepard replies with a sly grin.

"I'd like that. So then, should we eat before or after dinner?" Liara replies elegantly. It takes Shepard almost a full minute to register what Liara has said, before recognizing that her own crass comment from the other day has been neatly turned around on her.

With a laugh following an extremely surprised look, Shepard leans in to kiss Liara, before leading her out of the airlock.


	43. Heart Shaped Glasses

A/N: So, this is all just fluff. But I felt like writing something that wasn't all doom, gloom, angsty Cora, and Reapers.

Because you're all incredibly perceptive readers, I'm sure you've noticed the gradual movement towards a Traynor/Miranda pairing. Although I am a diehard Femshep/Liara fan, I thought this would be an interesting pairing to explore. Please review or provide feedback, and let me know what you think of it!

This chapter is rated a **strong M** for sexual content, and as such, reader discretion is advised.

* * *

With a resigned sigh, and a final adjustment to her outfit, Miranda steps off the elevator and heads towards Purgatory. The area between was remarkably busy, with several groups of drunk comrades loitering around and talking much too loudly. Miranda has never been fond of bars, or drinking for that matter. The complete lack of control and the foreign bodies pressing against her own was not at all to her taste. As if enforcing her distaste, a turian suddenly darts out from a group of people towards a garbage bin, and promptly vomits. Miranda turns her nose up at the sound, quickening her pace towards the door.

A large krogan with a scarred crest and red markings across his pale skin stops her before she enters, raising his massive hand with a gesture to stop.

"Well, aren't you a pretty thing. I don't normally find your kind attractive, but you are something else." He says as he leers at her. The fact that he has a shotgun shipped on his lower back tells Miranda he is acting as a bouncer, and she takes in his size as her indignation at the comment surfaces.

"Unfortunately for you, I'm not interested." She replies coolly.

"Ha! You don't have to be." He returns as his ugly red eyes travel down her body.

Miranda almost biotically slaps him at the insinuation, but before she has a chance to do so, she sees Traynor hurrying towards them.

"Excuse me, she's actually with our party, and I'd appreciate it if you kept your eyes where they belong. Maybe on the group of people attempting to sneak in while your limited attention span is focused elsewhere." Traynor says as she approaches the krogan. Miranda almost smiles at the bravado; Traynor is dwarfed by the krogan, who is a good three feet taller than her. That minute detail clearly wasn't stopping Traynor. She glared at the krogan, attempting to stare him down, her hands firmly planted on her hips. Miranda regards the interaction, her blue eyes flicking from Traynor to the krogan bouncer.

"You've got a quad on you, for being such a little thing." He remarks as he clenches his fist. Miranda doubts he understands precisely the insult Traynor has delivered to him, and his bluster seems to be coming from the fact that he has been informed she is with Shepard's crew. "Fine, get inside. I don't want Aria thinking I was eyeing up one of her dancers." He finishes, as his attention is diverted to the group of turians attempting to sneak past him.

Traynor takes hold of Miranda's elbow and leads her inside, stopping short just outside the second door.

"Sorry, I had been waiting for you but I just had to nip inside. Naturally that's when you showed up. That bouncer has been giving everyone a hard time tonight." Traynor says, slightly flustered from the confrontation.

"It's quite all right. He was fairly close to being a puddle on the floor, so it's probably for the best you showed up when you did." Miranda says with a smile. She lets her eyes wander, taking in what Traynor was wearing. A simple white skirt that flowed gently with her movements, and a burgundy tank top. For its simplicity, Miranda thought she looked incredible.

"Yes, well, I didn't exactly have a chance to think that through. I would've been a puddle on the floor if he had been smart enough to realize the insult. I don't know what I was thinking." Traynor replies, puzzlement in her own voice over her actions. "Anyways, I just wanted to give you a run down. Aria's got this place secured tightly, considering the entire crew of the Normandy is here. Her bouncers and guards are keeping anyone who hasn't served - or is serving - on the ship out. So, I guess it's our lucky night, to get treated like VIP's." Traynor says as she gestures towards the door. Miranda feels herself starting to relax; knowing the club was off-limits to anyone but people she knows is comforting. She smiles, and hooks her arm around Traynor's. The action clearly takes Traynor by surprise, and she blushes as she looks down at Miranda's arm, and then back up to her eyes.

"Our lucky night indeed, Specialist."

* * *

o.o.o

"God, Traynor. How is it that you managed to snag Miranda Lawson as your date?" Joker asks good naturedly as he, Traynor, and EDI sit at a table hours later. So far, shore leave had been exceptional. Traynor has had much more to drink than she anticipated, and had even attempted to dance with Shepard and a few other crew members. It had not lasted long, as Liara had beckoned Shepard off the dance floor moments after they had started dancing. Shepard and Liara hadn't been seen since, but the knowing smile from Garrus told Traynor they were more than fine. Traynor had been about to leave as well when Miranda had joined her. The dark, sultry look in her eyes as she wrapped her arms around Traynor's neck, her hips moving in a very deliberate way, had nearly caused Traynor's heart to stop.

"Honestly, I don't even know." She finally replies, attempting to bring herself back to reality. She spins her beer in circles with her fingers as she watches Miranda talk to someone she didn't know. Miranda stood casually, a drink in her hand, leaning against a wall close to the lower bar. Her dark jeans and white top left little to the imagination, and more than once Traynor had to stop herself from outright staring at her, especially after having felt those hips graze against her own.

"I believe that Ms. Lawson has an attraction to Samantha, hence the agreed upon date." EDI supplies, and Traynor can feel herself blush in response.

"EDI, you really don't need to analyze the situation." Traynor says, glaring at the AI.

"Oh, no. Please continue EDI. This is gonna be good." Joker says with a laugh as he takes a drink.

Traynor is saved further embarrassment as a clearly intoxicated James starts to move towards them. Traynor watches him as he spots Miranda, and he stops short as he checks her out. Traynor feels a pang of jealousy, and watches as James contemplates making a move, or staying his course. The latter wins out, and he approaches their table with a low whistle.

"Dios, do you see that one? I had no idea she served on the Normandy. Man, I probably would've joined Cerberus too if that's what all my coworkers looked like." James says with a grin. Traynor watches as Miranda also approaches the table, the loud music and deep base of the club rendering her silent as she approaches from behind James. She smoothly moves around him, ensuring she catches his eye, and Traynor watches as James' eyes flick downwards to stare at Miranda's ass. Before she realizes what's happening, or stands up to stare James down as though he was a krogan bouncer, Miranda enters her field of vision. She stands at an angle, half in front and half beside Traynor. She deliberately puts her drink down on the table, her blue eyes never leaving Traynor's brown ones. With a raise of her eyebrow, she plants her left hand on the surface, her right hand on the back of Traynor's chair, and slowly leans in. Traynor can feel her heart rate increase, and seconds later, the soft lips of Miranda are on her own. Gently, tentatively, and over much too quickly. Miranda leans back, a smile at the corner of her lips as she looks back at James.

"Sorry." She says simply, with a shrug. Traynor works at slowing her heart rate down, noticing that Miranda is still incredibly close, her one hand still resting on the back of Traynor's chair. James looks from Traynor, to Miranda, and back again.

"Fair enough. Hey, you guys want another drink?" James says, as he shrugs in return. Joker stands up with a wink at Traynor, EDI following closely behind him. The trio head off in the direction of the increasingly rambunctious Normandy crew, James calling for more shots of tequila.

"God, I'm going to need one of those." Traynor remarks to herself. Her head felt fuzzy, whether from the alcohol or the adrenaline, she didn't know. She looks up from the table and catches Miranda staring at her, a look crossing her face that Traynor can't place.

"I hope you don't mind me being so forward." Miranda says, her tone suggesting she's being sarcastic, but the look in her eyes is one of sincerity.

"Oh no. You can be forward whenever you like. I was just not expecting that. Quite honestly, I wasn't expecting you to even come here, let alone as my date." Traynor says as Miranda takes a seat opposite her.

"I had tried to convince myself not to come. Not because I didn't want to, but simply because it might not have been safe for me to do so." Miranda says, having to lean in as the music grew in volume.

"What do you mean?" Traynor asks, her brows furrowing in thought.

Miranda glances around, noting where everyone was. Joker and James were engaged in a vigorous game of shot-for-shot as EDI looked on. Garrus was idly chatting to Private Westmoreland, as Private Campbell urged some of her fellow crewmembers onto the dance floor. She notices that Shepard and Liara had come back, and were casually watching the crew dance, Liara leaning up to whisper something into Shepard's ear. Shepard clearly took whatever bet Liara had placed, and dragged her lover onto the dance floor. Looking back at Traynor, Miranda makes up her mind.

"Do you want to get out of here? It's a bit difficult to talk with this music. And I'd prefer to be somewhere private." Miranda asks. Traynor feels her stomach flip at the invitation, but tries not to read too much into it. So far the night had gone in a completely different direction than she had anticipated, but she didn't want to get her hopes up.

"Sure, I just need a shot of tequila first."

* * *

o.o.o

Miranda opens the door to her apartment, and pads quietly towards the window, pressing a button that closes the curtains. Traynor takes in her surroundings as she enters, noting that the apartment itself rivalled anything she's ever lived in.

"This place is immaculate. You live here?" Traynor asks, absentmindedly tossing her purse on the floor.

"Temporarily, yes. I'm renting it." Miranda replies, moving past Traynor to lock the door.

"Expecting trouble?" Traynor asks sarcastically, noting Miranda's movements.

"I typically expect trouble." Miranda replies seriously.

A thought dawns on Traynor, and she suddenly realizes that all the innuendos Miranda has dropped alluding to her privacy and safety are most likely serious.

"Miranda, what's going on?"

"It's nothing I can't handle. It's just… I need to be honest with you." Miranda says, approaching Traynor and standing in front of her. "You need to know who I am before anything… before you make a decision."

"What do you mean?"

Miranda sighs, folding her arms in front of her. "I'm being hunted by assassins. A lot of them. When I broke ties with Cerberus, the Illusive Man didn't take kindly to it. If it weren't for the fact that I was owed some favours, I'd be dead after Cerberus took over Omega. I know Cerberus doesn't have the best track record, but the project I was on was solely for the benefit of humanity, unlike the other cells that operated under the Cerberus banner."

Traynor frowns, trying to piece together what Miranda was saying. Realization hits her, her face clears, and she almost smiles.

"You're worried I'm going to hold your past against you. You're worried that the fact that you have assassins after you makes you too dangerous to get to know. Honestly, I think all of that makes you incredibly hard core, and still amazingly out of my league. I'm not sure if you've noticed, but I quite like you. Your past is yours, it doesn't make you less of a person to have believed in something. And as for the assassins? They'd have a better chance at catching light in a jar than catching you."

Miranda looks at Traynor, hearing similar words from over a year ago, uttered by a different person. She quirks her head to the side, and establishes that Traynor is being sincere. She doubted Traynor could be anything but sincere. Her words were heartfelt, and they made Miranda feel more at ease.

"It doesn't bother you?"

"Not in the slightest. What bothers me is the fact that the krogan bouncer looked at you like you were goods for sale, and that Vega can't keep his drunk eyes away from your ass." Traynor says without thinking. She immediately blushes, placing her hand over her mouth. "Oh god, I'm sorry. That should have been inside my head. I probably shouldn't have had that last tequila shot, it makes me say things without thinking first."

Miranda smiles, taking a step closer to Traynor. She lightly wraps her hand around Traynor's wrist, bringing her hand down from her mouth. She watches as Traynor's blush deepens at the contact, her lips parting slightly, her breathing increasing marginally. Miranda pulls Traynor even closer by her wrist, placing Traynor's hand on her waist. Traynor allows herself to be pulled in, watching the play of emotions dance across Miranda's eyes. Her motions are slow, giving Traynor ample time to withdraw or change her mind, but when she feels Miranda's left hand move to her lower back, all logic flies out the window.

Traynor closes the distance, bringing her lips to Miranda's. A jolt of electricity goes up her spine at the contact, Miranda's tongue moving to meet her own. Traynor's grip tightens on Miranda's waist as her other hand moves up her neck, and she twines her fingers through Miranda's long, dark hair. Traynor feels Miranda's other hand move to her stomach as she pushes Traynor against the door. The kiss deepens, and Traynor pulls on Miranda's hair as her back makes contact with the door. Miranda breaks the kiss, and for a moment they stop. Panting, their chests rising and falling in unison as they contemplate the next move. Miranda is sure she doesn't want this to stop, her lips tingling from the heated contact. And then, they move as one. Their lips meet again, passionate and hungry, as Miranda slides Traynor's top off, her hands running along the smooth length of her stomach. The cold touch of the door against her hot skin causes Traynor to break the kiss with a gasp, and she pauses for a moment, arching her back and pressing her chest against Miranda's. The look in those blue eyes causes Traynor to shiver; it held an incredible amount of need and desire. She pulls Miranda's head back by her hair, exposing the soft skin of her neck as she gently kisses down to Miranda's collarbone. Letting go of her hair, she slides both hands up Miranda's perfect back, removing her tank top.

"You're beautiful." Traynor whispers, and she catches what she assumes is a blush on Miranda's cheeks. Traynor begins kissing lower, her lips grazing against Miranda's breasts. Her hands stealthily move towards the button of Miranda's jeans, and while she distracts her with a nip of her teeth against the pure alabaster of Miranda's skin, she undoes the button and the zipper.

"That was sneaky." Miranda whispers as she moves her head close to Traynor's ear. Her hands move to either side of her head, the cool metal of the door against her palms, as she leans her body against Traynor's. Traynor feels the soft skin against her own, and momentarily loses her train of thought. The gentle bite against her neck reminds her, and with a grin, she slides her hands down Miranda's sides, catching the waistband of her pants. Her hands move them lower, as she follows with them, placing a line of kisses along Miranda's torso as she kneels in front of her. Traynor places a kiss above Miranda's black lace panties, and looks up into the blue eyes watching her. She raises an eyebrow, giving Miranda a crooked grin, and receives a low exhale of bated breath in return.

Miranda was frozen in place, her hands still planted firmly against the door. She closes her eyes, and feels her underwear slowly following the same way her pants had gone. She feels Traynor run her hands down her legs and pausing at her ankles, and Miranda lifts each foot as her pants are moved aside. She feels the soft hands travel up again, fingers leaving a trail of fire as they move up her thighs. She then feels Traynor's hot tongue against her clit, and her eyes open as a soft cry escapes her lips. The contact is gentle, but sure, as Traynor's tongue starts moving in slow circles, Miranda's hips responding instinctively. She looks down and watches as Traynor's hands move to her hips, steadying Miranda's movement. Miranda moves one hand down, running her fingers through Traynor's hair, and in response, Traynor digs her nails into Miranda's skin. The combination of pain and pleasure makes Miranda's hips move again, seeking more of the contact as she grabs a fistful of Traynor's hair.

Encouraged by the movements, and the sounds, coming from Miranda, Traynor's tongue explores. She tastes the sweet wetness of Miranda's sex, her fingers joining in the exploration. She runs a digit along the silky folds, and hears Miranda's sharp intake of breath at the touch. Another finger, and Traynor slowly enters her wet heat as Miranda cries out, her hips moving and her back arching. The grip on her head intensifies, and Traynor's tongue sets a tortuously slow speed as her fingers enter and withdraw slowly.

"You're killing me." She hears Miranda say, and can see her legs begin to shake from the build up. Traynor pauses, contemplating her next move; she withdraws her fingers, and stands up swiftly, feeling Miranda's mouth make contact with her own. Her tongue meets Traynor's, tasting and attempting to regain control. In a second, Traynor finds herself braless, Miranda's skilled fingers eliminating the obstacle. Not breaking the kiss, Traynor grabs Miranda's hand, leading her backwards towards the bed. Her thoughts were going at the speed of light, the still-lingering thought of 'this can't be happening' in the back of her mind. She was unable to think clearly for much longer, as the back of her knees make contact with the bed, and they fall backwards, Miranda landing on top of her. Traynor moves to undo Miranda's bra, and the contact of skin-on-skin just moments later causes Traynor to moan. Miranda ends the heated kiss, looking down into Traynor's eyes. Traynor realizes that at some point she has lost her own skirt and underwear, as Miranda's thigh moves to press against her sex. Traynor bites her lower lip, and Miranda catches the action, kissing Traynor and biting her lip instead, moving her thigh at the same time. Traynor snakes her hand downwards, searching for the wet heat she wants to feel again as her other hand holds fast to the back of Miranda's head.

Miranda feels Traynor inside her again, this time at a much more intense pace. She props herself up with one hand, the other moving to cup Traynor's breast as her thigh presses harder into Traynor. Traynor cries out, and follows it with a soft bite to Miranda's shoulder. Establishing a steady, but increasingly rapid pace, Traynor can feel the gentle throbbing and flexing of her internal muscles as Miranda's orgasm hits her hard, her back arching and a surprisingly dirty expletive escaping her lips. Traynor follows almost immediately, the pressure of Miranda's thigh in the perfect spot as she runs her nails down Miranda's back, crying out as the waves of her own orgasm wash over her.

Miranda rests her head in the crook of Traynor's neck, moving her hands to support her weight as Traynor's leg wraps around her hip, both women attempting to catch their breath as their hearts start to slow. Miranda slowly moves, climbing to the top of the bed and burrowing under the covers. Traynor sits up, suddenly unsure of how to proceed. She didn't know if she was staying, if she should assume as much, or if she should take her leave.

"Come here. I'm not quite done with you yet." Miranda says silkily, unknowingly answering Traynor's question. With a smile, Traynor moves to follow Miranda's path, their lips meeting once again.


	44. Morning Song

**Wake Me Up**

"All I'm saying is that this could be a really long tour, and the last thing I want is to finish off a really tough mission and not have any vodka."

"Cora, I think the last thing we should be discussing right now is any topic involving alcohol."

"Aww, feeling a bit hung over?"

"Yes, if you must know. I see you're just fine though."

"Yeah, I feel pretty damn skippy. Might be all those cybernetics grafted into me though, so don't feel bad."

Shepard and Liara walk side by side through the wards marketplace, casually eyeing up the goods for sale. The previous night had been long, but full of fun, boisterous laughter, and alcohol. It had been well past 0200 before Liara and Shepard made it back to their rented apartment, 0330 before they managed to actually sleep, and close to 1300 before they made it out into the world again. Liara had an insistent nag of pain against her temples, and her stomach was a riot of ill-feelings. Shepard had been adamant that Liara try several different types of alcohol from earth, most of which had Liara feeling quite tipsy almost immediately. It hadn't slowed Shepard down though, and once she had found out that James had initiated some form of drinking game, it all devolved quickly. Liara had gracefully bowed out, but watched as Shepard drank James under the table. For all her hang over, she wondered how the Lieutenant was faring this morning.

Shepard stops at a kiosk, picking up a box containing a model ship. Liara stands beside her, watching her lover flip it over, presumably reading the information about this particular ship. A frown crosses Shepard's face, and she snorts in derision.

"'A fantasy-based artist's rendition of the Geth ship that attacked the Citadel.' Geth ship? Really? They still believed that even after what I had unearthed?" Shepard states after reading the description of the model out loud. She tosses the box back on the counter, knocking a few other pieces over, ignoring the protests from the volus kiosk owner. "That is clearly a model of Sovereign. Although I guess it doesn't matter now. There's no hiding the truth anymore." She says as she continues walking.

Liara follows along, matching her pace to Shepard's. They pass through the corridor leading to Flux, the expansive walls to their right displaying the Citadel. The purple backdrop of the Widow system gently weaving around the massive space station catches Liara's eye, and she breaks off from Shepard to stand at one of the guard railings. She hadn't been in this part of the Citadel for years, but she knew there had been far fewer ships than what she was seeing now. Past the open arms and colourful veins, the Citadel Defense Force sat in wait, gaining strength. Sensors on high alert, ready to catch any movement of the enemy towards this valuable gem hidden among the stars. Liara feels Shepard come to stand beside her, and she leans forward against the rails.

"I remember the very first time I came down here. I had never been in a place like this before. You had just rescued me from Therum, and I was still trying to wrap my head around the fact that my mother was working for Saren, and ultimately for the Reapers. The people and noise of this place had startled me; every foreign sound made me jump, every time someone bumped into me I panicked." Liara smiles at the memory, watching a ship taxi past the viewing windows. "And now, I'm standing here as the most important person in the shadows, with the most important person in the light. It's funny, the Citadel is really where it all began for us. I know that without Eden Prime, we would have never known the truth, but this is where you found Wrex, Garrus, and Tali. It's where you were made a Spectre, where the Council denounced Saren as a traitor. And now I can't help thinking that this is where it will all end." She says quietly, looking down at her hands. "But I'm not afraid anymore. I no longer panic, or want to exclude myself. I don't wonder anymore because I know it all. I know what hides in the shadows, and I know what is lurking out there, waiting for us. But I know that even though we will fight and it will be hard, we will do this."

Shepard leans closer to Liara, placing a kiss on her crest. She can feel the presence of Liara's mind, and knows that it is tranquil. Reaching out and taking her hand, Shepard looks out towards the Citadel.

"I couldn't do this without you, Li."

"And I couldn't do this without you. I'm glad you chose to save me from that containment field."

Shepard laughs, wrapping an arm around Liara's shoulders.

"So am I."

* * *

o.o.o

 **Must've Had a Ball Last Night**

James feels a weight on his arm, pinning it down. He opens his eyes, closing them immediately as the bright lights of the Citadel day cycle burn into his retinas. Taking it a bit slower the second time, he turns his head to his left to see what is causing the discomfort, and opens one eye. He blinks a few times in an attempt to clear his vision. As he focuses, he sees the the toned back of a woman, her blonde hair a wave of curls down her back. A sheet covered her lower half, but James raises an eyebrow in surprise nonetheless.

"Ok, I do not remember that happening." He says quietly to himself. He takes stock of his current situation as he opens both eyes, his vision clearing. It was clear to him that he was laying in a bed, and he turns his head to the right. The movement causes a wave of dizziness and a slight urge to vomit, and he realizes that he is probably hung over. He carefully attempts to extricate his arm from underneath the woman beside him, doing his best not to wake her up. She shuffles slightly, moaning a protest, but after a second she stops moving. James breathes a sigh of relief; he was not particularly interested in explaining why he was trying to run off.

Sitting up slowly, his head throbbing something fierce, he looks around the room. His pants and shirt were in two very different locations. A few bottles of alcohol lay around, empty of their contents. A bra is draped across the back of a chair, and at the foot of the bed were a pair of panties. He stands up carefully, trying not to wake the woman in the bed, and walks naked in the direction of his pants. Fighting the headache, he tells himself that it's nothing a good breakfast and a run won't cure. With his pants and shirt obtained, he looks around for his wallet and his authorization card. His dog tags still circled his neck, and as he completed the routine checklist of ensuring he has all his items, he makes his way towards the door, his final mission to put his boots on.

It was during the process of tying up the laces on his boot that he hears a sigh from the direction of the bed, followed by the sheets moving as the blonde woman rolls over, and sits up once she realizes he is not there anymore.

"Damnit." James says to himself.

"Leaving so soon?" the woman asks, and James notes that she has an accent. He smiles to himself; he's always had a thing for girls with accents.

"Uh, yeah. Duty calls. But I had a great time with you last night." James bluffs. He actually couldn't remember if he did have a good time. He frowns, realizing that he couldn't remember anything after taking the last few shots of absinthe with Shepard.

"It wasn't just me." The woman says with a laugh. James notices movement to her left, as the tousled head of brunette hair shows itself from under the covers. The second woman sits up and pouts at him once she notices he was about to leave.

James swallows hard. That he definitely had not remembered.

"Oh boy. Yeah, I had a really great time with both of you. Sorry to cut this short. Honestly, I'm kinda regretting not staying in bed now." He says as the sheet covering the brunettes upper body slowly starts to slip downwards.

A brief knock on the door brings James back from the particularly dirty thoughts that were starting to enter his mind. He moves towards it, and once it's opened, he sees Cortez and Garrus standing there.

"Wow, you need to take a shower man." Cortez says with a laugh.

Garrus folds his arms around his chest, his mandibles flickering in amusement.

"Yeah, you really do. I can smell at least two human females on you." Garrus remarks.

"Yeah yeah, laugh it up. Like you two didn't do anything crazy last night."

"Actually, I went back to the Normandy around 2300 and had a real nice chat with our new CPO. I like that guy."

"Uh huh." James says, raising his eyebrow.

"And I spent the night surrounded by human females who were so enamoured with my scars, they bought me all kinds of drinks. But you, James. You win for crazy."

James stares at his crew mates, deciding whether he should shut the door and return back to whatever he didn't remember from last night, or join his friends. They had planned to do a few rounds in the combat sim, but without James, these two wouldn't be able to enter. With a fleeting glance back at the two women waiting patiently, he nods, and leaves the room.

As Garrus, Cortez, and James walk down the stairs from the apartment, James finds himself swept up in a conversation about how quickly each of them are going to be able to beat the other, and does not regret his decision in the least.

* * *

o.o.o

 **Cara Mia Addio**

EDI sat across from Joker, watching him intently. They had come down to Apollo's at Joker's request, as he had been starving. Since arriving at their table, he had not ordered anything, and simply had his head down on the table. EDI was curious; she had watched his behaviour last night, and took note of the amount of alcoholic beverages he had been consuming. She had secretly run a few scans on him, and noticed that his body was reading quite a high level of toxins. She had surmised that the reason was the alcohol consumption, and after searching a database that validated this, she had essentially 'cut him off'. This action had elicited laughter from everyone, and a few comments that EDI could not understand the root of.

"Jeff?"

"Shh. Too loud."

"May I ask you a question?"

"Only if you can do that without talking. Still too loud."

"I am unable to communicate with you without using an audible form."

"Ok. Ask away." Joker replies with a sigh.

"Last night, when I had requested you lessen, or stop, your intake of alcohol, most of the crew members around us laughed. A few of them even made comments. My question is this: why would my request elicit such a response?"

Joker sighs again, lifting his head off the table, supporting it with his hands. He looks at EDI, and notes the tilt of her head. She had picked up the behaviour, most likely from working so closely with human crew members. It gave her a pensive look, and in this case, a curious one.

"Usually that kind of request comes from someone's partner. It made everyone laugh because they all just assume that since we act like a married couple, we should just be one." He says.

"So because I made that request, it validated for the crew that we are, in fact, a couple?"

"Yeah. Something like that. Even though we aren't." Joker says with a shadow of regret in his voice.

EDI pauses, calculating her next statement. She has watched Joker for the past year; she knew his moods, what made him happy, what made him angry. She knew that his heart rate spiked and his blood pressure increased whenever the shore party took fire. She knew he didn't like being woken up before his alarm went off, and that he talked in his sleep. He liked his coffee black, he had a deep respect for his beard, and could tell within a second if someone else had sat in his pilot's chair and changed the settings. He was blunt, but sincere. He was sarcastic but honest. And within a nanosecond, EDI had made her decision.

"Would you like to be?" she asks.

"What? Would I like to be what? Like, a couple?" Joker stammers, lifting his head up slightly higher.

"Yes, that is what I'm asking. I cannot find a reason why it should not be attempted. I know your likes and dislikes. I know what makes you happy. And you have taught me more than any other human I know. I would like to know you on a deeper level."

Joker stared at EDI, trying his best to focus on her words. For the past month, the thought had entered his mind, but was quickly pushed aside. He'd asked Mordin about it, and was given a clinical answer. But he's not mentioned it to anyone else.

"Shepard also seems to think it would be a good idea." EDI adds.

"What? You asked Shepard?"

"Correct. She was quite supportive of the idea, and suggested that we do something fun together. Perhaps we could go see a comedy show today?"

Joker smiles, watching EDI tilt her head again as she waited for a response. He wasn't sure how it would work, but if there was one thing more important to him than his ship, it was EDI.

"Yeah EDI. Let's do that. But on one condition."

"What is it Jeff?"

"Don't offer to carry me anywhere."

* * *

o.o.o

 **Feel It In My Bones**

"Well, Ms. Lawson?" Traynor asks casually as they sit on a bench overlooking the Presidium.

"Well what, Specialist Traynor?" Miranda asks, her hands resting in her lap as she watches a bird take flight.

"Well, do we go our separate ways? I go back out into space, and you go back into hiding, never to see each other again?"

"Is that what you want?"

Traynor pauses, looking down at her hands clasped in front of her. Just two hours ago, she had woken up to a gentle kiss on the back of her neck, a soft hand gently travelling along her stomach. Now she sat with Miranda, her emotions wreaking havoc. Miranda didn't seem like the type of woman who would settle; she was headstrong, confident, and incredibly passionate. Those traits were hard to hold still, and with constant time apart, any relationship would be difficult. Even worse, she didn't know what Miranda wanted. Traynor suspected she was getting ahead of herself, thinking that time apart in a fledgling relationship would be the worst part. The worst part would be if Miranda said no altogether.

"No. That isn't what I want. We are all on borrowed time, and I don't want to look back at the end of my life and know that I didn't take any chances. I was terrified when I first joined the Normandy; there were so many unknowns, new people, a vicious enemy that we suddenly had to fight. But since then I've learned that if you don't take a risk, there will never be a payout. So no, I don't want to never see you again. I want to see you every day, but I can't. But just knowing you're out there, and that you said yes, would make this fight worth trudging through." Traynor says, and she can feel herself getting a tad emotional.

Miranda reaches over and takes hold of her hand. The gentle pressure as she squeezes is followed by her fingers twining with Traynor's. She looks up and sees Miranda's blue eyes scanning her face. Traynor feels as though her heart will break, and almost doesn't want Miranda to say anything. She suspects she knows what the reply will be, and she is seriously contemplating just standing up and walking away.

"I couldn't say no if I wanted to." Miranda replies with a faint smile. "I quite like you, Sam. The thought of you suddenly leaving is making me feel all sorts of things I'm not used to. I'm not good at commitment. It's never something I've had enough practice with. My life is one chaotic scenario after another, and it typically means that I have to leave people I care about far behind me. But, I want to try this."

Traynor looks at Miranda, her previous expectations blowing away in the wind. She sees the ghost of a smile cross Miranda's mouth, and those perfect lips draw her eyes in. She glances back up at the beautiful blue eyes, and feels her heart skip a beat.

"I don't know what to say now. 'Thank you' isn't quite appropriate." Traynor replies, and Miranda laughs gently.

"It's all right. I'm happy to just sit here with you. I don't have much time." Miranda says with a note of despair in her voice.

"That sounds perfect." Traynor replies, holding Miranda's hand in both of hers, as they watch the gentle ripples of water move along the lake.


	45. Welcome Home

A/N: Thank you to all readers who are reviewing, following, and making this story a favourite. It's really such an honour that you are all enjoying this so much. Thank you for taking the time to read about Cora Shepard and her epic temper.

Enjoy!

* * *

Shepard stood at the airlock, waiting for the last few crew members to come aboard. It was fifteen minutes away from take off, and she was still missing a few people. She hadn't received any requests from Commander Bailey to come and retrieve her people, so she just assumed they were running behind. She crosses her arms and leans against the wall, content to wait. Shore leave had done wonders for her mood; she was less despairing, she had slightly more patience, and she had a renewed sense of destruction. She was itching to get back out there and kill some Reapers. The peace of the last two days has given her yet another reason to end the Reapers and get on with her life.

"Commander, I just got word from Ensign MacDonald and Ensign Stevens. Their ETA is five minutes. I guess some C-Sec officer stopped them and didn't believe they were part of the Normandy crew." Joker advises over the comm.

"Roger that." Shepard replies, rolling her eyes at the statement. Security was tightening all over the Citadel, for obvious reasons. But there were some things that C-Sec were cracking down on a little too hard, and it was stopping people from doing their jobs. It was rare that Shepard pulled the Spectre card, but she has found she's been doing it more often than she thought was necessary.

The ramp leading up to the airlock starts to move gently, and Shepard can hear the fast pace of four feet running towards the airlock. She watches her two Ensigns round the corner, and they both stop short upon seeing their Commander. With beet red cheeks, they both salute and stand stock-still.

"It's all right you two. I know why you're delayed. Just get inside, would you?" Shepard says with a smile. Both Ensigns visibly relax, donning smiles of their own, as they rush past Shepard.

"Ok EDI. Is that everyone?"

"Yes Commander. All crew present and accounted for."

"Perfect." Shepard says as she turns around, heading to Joker. The airlock hisses shut behind her, locking with a beep. "Joker, pre-flight checks are done?"

"Just about Commander. I'm just waiting for the final diagnostic to finish up on the starboard engines. Y'know, for a bunch of space monkeys banging their tools against the hull, they did a pretty good job!" Joker provides sarcastically.

"No love for engineers, huh?"

"Engineers I like. They make my baby purr. Mechanics? They can be shifty."

Shepard smiles, watching a flashing yellow light suddenly turn green, and as if on cue, a comm channel lights up.

"Normandy, this is Citadel docking control. You have been cleared for departure. Please follow the flight path marked on the navigational data being provided to your ship's databank."

"Roger that, Citadel control. We'll see you soon."

"Good hunting, Normandy."

There is a pause after Joker turns off the comm channel, while they waited for the authorization and flight path to come through.

"Hey, remember back on Nos Astra when we were literally treated like crap every time we wanted to dock? Now look at us. We've got our own docking bay reserved just for the Normandy. A dedicated Alliance officer to greet us…" Shepard says.

"Yeah, all it took was a giant ass Reaper invasion." Joker replies sardonically.

Shepard watches Joker and EDI work, their seamlessness and cohesion a thing to behold. Shepard understood of course that EDI is an AI, and is able to make calculations and decisions at a rate exponentially higher than that of a human mind. But the fact that an AI and a human were working in tandem, without any questions being asked, and only checks being verbalized made Shepard incredibly glad she had the team she did.

"Shepard?"

"Hm? Oh, sorry. I was somewhere else."

"Yeah no kidding. Where are we going?"

"I don't have a destination yet. I have a briefing with Hackett in about five minutes, I'm sure he'll be telling us where to go. Just get us out to the relay and I'll let you know once I've checked in."

"Sounds good, Commander."

Shepard pats the back of Joker's chair, and heads off down the gang way. Most of the terminals were actually full, and Shepard could hear the crew laughing and chatting while they waiting for their data packets. They had picked up a few new crew members while on leave, thanks to Hackett neatly diverting some troops headed to another ship. Six new crew members as well as a few more to monitor the War Room were going to be a huge asset. _Traynor will actually be able to take a break now._

Shepard strolls past the terminal where the comms specialist was inputting data into the galaxy map. Traynor casually looks up, and seeing Shepard, calls her over.

"What's going on, Specialist?"

"Commander, I just received a request from Allers. She'd like to talk to you about the events on the Citadel during the coup. Major Alenko has requested some of your time, and I believe Javik would like to see you as well. Although I'm not too sure, as he wasn't exactly polite about the request, so I kind of toned him out." Traynor says, admitting the last part with a blush.

Shepard sighs. _So it begins_.

"Alright, well let Allers know I'll get to her when I can. Feeding the media isn't exactly a priority. I'll meet Kaidan in the starboard observation lounge later this evening, and Javik can wait. I'm tired of that guy and his pissy attitude."

"Right, so you want those messages delivered verbatim?" Traynor asks anxiously.

"No, Traynor." Shepard states with a chuckle. "Well, Kaidan's maybe. But make the other two a bit more diplomatic."

Shepard heads towards the War Room, Privates Campbell and Westmoreland greeting her respectfully, and moments later she finally finds herself in the QEC. She feels the pull of the ship as they move out of the docking bay, gaining a moderate speed as they navigate the increasingly congested Citadel air space. Shepard punches in a code that directs her to Hackett, knowing she has at least twenty minutes before they get to the relay. After waiting a moment, Admiral Hackett appears in front of her.

"Shepard. Thank you for taking the time to debrief now. I know you are heading out from the Citadel."

"Yes sir, we're en route to the relay."

"Good, I'll make this quick then. I need you to head out to the Far Rim, in the Dholen system. The quarians are apparently willing to talk now in regards to aiding this war. Sounds like they're in a bit of trouble though, so the Admirals could have a hidden agenda."

"Doesn't everyone?"

"Everyone is slowly starting to come together, but I agree. There hasn't been one step of this journey for you where someone hasn't had a hidden motive. Just be prepared, Commander. We are hearing whispers of instability along the Geth border, and if the quarians are in trouble…"

"They may have gone and done something stupid." Shepard finishes.

"Exactly. Find out what they're doing out there, and get them on-side. They have the largest fleet in the galaxy Shepard, and we need it."

"We'll get it done, Admiral." Shepard says with a salute.

"See that you do. Hackett out."

Shepard stands at ease until the image of Hackett disappears. Once it has, she slumps her shoulders slightly, exhaling deeply. She can feel the anxiety rushing up again, and the stress of mediating yet another species. Her last interaction with the quarian admirals had been less than diplomatic; she had practically yelled at them to get them off Tali's back. And it was during that trial that Shepard had found out the quarians were seriously considering a war with the geth. If Hackett's reports were accurate, Shepard has no doubt that what she will be refereeing is a quarian/geth war.

"Joker, we need to head out to the Far Rim, Dholen system. We're meeting up with the quarians."

* * *

o.o.o

Shepard paced through the War Room, eager to get the meeting underway. Travelling from the Citadel to the Far Rim takes longer than she likes, and she was quickly beginning to lose her patience. She had made time to meet with Kaidan, who briefed her on the crew schedules. She had begrudgingly met with Diana Allers and provided a very brief interview about the coup. She had to remind herself more than once that she was very much in the public eye now, and tried her best not to punch the reporter. Javik had merely soured her mood even further by going on a tangent about how EDI should not be allowed to have the freedoms she did. With her already limited patience now paper thin, she loathed the fact that the quarians were keeping her waiting.

She was about to request an update as to their status, when the door to the War Room opened up, and the quarian admirals strode in.

"Commander Shepard, it's a pleasure to see you again. Though I wish it were under different circumstances." Admiral Shala'Raan says politely.

"What's going on? I had hoped for your support against the Reapers. But instead, we're hearing reports of instability. Please tell me you haven't done anything rash." Shepard says without greeting.

"Seventeen days ago, with precision strikes on four geth systems, the quarians initiated the war to retake our home world." Admiral Gerrel provides.

"Which was a clear violation of our agreement with the Council to avoid provoking the geth." Admiral Koris states vehemently, obviously frustrated with the decision.

"A treaty violation is nothing compared to recovering our home world and advanced AI technology."

Shepard stares at the admirals, listening to them arguing. It takes her a moment to process what she's just heard.

"Wait, let me get this straight. You guys declared war on the geth while the rest of the galaxy is at war with the Reapers? What the fuck is wrong with you? 'A treaty violation is nothing'? Can you even hear yourselves?"

"Commander, please. We have done what we think is the best thing for our people…"

"What, throwing yourselves at the geth, again, is the best thing for your people?" Shepard says, her voice rising as she glares at the admirals.

"I couldn't agree more, Commander. This plan is doomed to fail, and we have put our people on the line because of it." Admiral Koris says as he folds his arms in front of him.

"If you weren't such a dried up old bosh'tet and had some faith in our technological advances…"

"Enough!" Shepard yells, quelling the argument that was starting to rise. Shala'Raan had strategically placed herself between the other three admirals; Shepard had no doubt that for the last seventeen days, she has been doing a lot of mediating. Shepard felt little sympathy; mediation had been her life for the past month, if not longer.

"Look, I'm going to be honest with you. This is the stupidest thing I've ever heard. And don't even get me started on the ramifications this is going to have on the entire galaxy, not to mention the fact that you won't even have a home world to retake if the galaxy is destroyed by the Reapers. But, what's done is done. I sure as hell doubt the geth are going to back down now that you sneak attacked them. So let's just all get to the point of why you agreed to meet with me; what do you need me to do."

The admirals pause, and look at one another. Admiral Koris remained still, avoiding eye contact with the other admirals in a clear sign of defiance. The reply was left to Shala'Raan, who stepped forward hesitantly, pulling up a haptic display on the War Room terminal.

"We'd driven the geth back to the home system when this signal started transmitting to all geth ships."

"The Reapers." Shepard says with irritation.

"Under Reaper control, the geth are significantly more effective, and our fleet is pinned down in the home system."

"Naturally. And I can see where this is going. You want me to disable whatever is transmitting that signal."

"Yes, Commander." Admiral Gerrel says, interrupting Shala'Raan. "It's housed in a geth dreadnought. It can outgun anything we've got and it's heavily defended."

"Of course it is. You know, just once I'd like to ask someone for help and have them say 'sure, no problem! Let's go right now!'" Shepard says as she crosses her arms with a sigh. "All right. The Normandy's stealth drive can get us in undetected. I could board with a team and disable that command signal."

"Mind if I join you?" Comes a recognizable voice from the door way. Shepard looks up and sees the familiar purple and black of Tali, hands behind her back, her stance confident.

"Tali." Shepard says, and feels herself smiling. Tali had been a much-missed presence on the ship, and every time Shepard had gone down to engineering, she half expected Tali to be there, musing over how quiet the ship was.

"Thought you might need some help on this one, Shepard." Tali says, the hint of a smile in her voice.

"Sure do. Glad you could make it, Tali. Admirals, I'll ready a team to hit that dreadnought. Tali, feel like joining me for a debriefing?" Shepard asks as she walks away from the admirals.

Tali and Shepard walk silently through the ship towards the elevator. Shepard stops, whispering something to Traynor before rejoining Tali.

"And by debriefing I meant drink. I seriously need one right now." Shepard says with a smirk.

"I knew you were just trying to pull me away." Tali replies, laughing and gently pushing Shepard on the arm.

"Come on. I picked up some turian brandy when we were at the Citadel, and I know that there are a few people who will be really happy to see you."

Shepard and Tali enter the elevator, and as the door closes, Shepard finds herself quickly wrapped up in a hug from Tali.

"I know you like your personal space, but it is really good to see you."

"It's good to have you home, Tali'Zorah vas Normandy."


	46. All Together Now

A/N: Just so y'all know, I'm going on vacation! As such, this will be my last chapter for a couple of days. I need to re-charge, and hopefully by the time I get back, I'll have a million ideas and have a bunch of new chapters up for you guys.

As always, thanks for reading and following. I hope you like this one :)

* * *

Liara sat on the edge of her bed, frowning at the sight outside her window. Thousands of geth ships were firing at thousands of quarian ships. Even from the short amount of time she'd been watching the battle, it was clear to her who was winning.

She turns her head as she hears the door open and Glyph provide a greeting. Liara watches as Shepard walks towards her; in full armour, she looked considerably more intimidating than she normally did. Her jet black armour, accented by the blood red stripe down her right arm, gave her a predatory look. The frown didn't help, and Liara knew that Shepard was wholeheartedly unimpressed with the reason for the mission.

"Hey Li, I just wanted to see you before we head out. I didn't realize it was this bad. It's a cluster fuck out there." Shepard says by way of greeting, putting her hands on her hips as she looks out the window.

"I know, it doesn't look good. There was no way for you to have known though. Even I didn't realize the situation had escalated to war." Liara says as she looks up at Shepard. The green eyes of her Commander were scanning the ships as they banked to avoid fire, or were just simply destroyed. An explosion of flame would erupt from a ship, but was quickly extinguished as the oxygen ran out, the vacuum of space eliminating it immediately.

Shepard shook her head, muttering something under her breath before speaking again.

"Well, I had better get out there. They aren't going to save themselves. Sorry you have to sit this one out; I need Tali, and I might as well start Kaidan out somewhere. His overload is going to come in handy with those geth shields."

"I understand. You know you don't need to bring me on every mission." Liara says with a smile.

"I know. But I like it when you're on my right and Garrus is on my left. It makes me feel invincible, and I trust you two completely. I know Kaidan is good, but it'll be his first fight since Horizon, and he spent half of that battle frozen. I'm going to have to watch him, which I just won't have the time to do while geth are shooting at me."

"It won't take him long, Shepard. He's a quick learner, he'll establish his pattern again. And you'll have Tali reprogramming geth to shoot each other, so you shouldn't take too much fire."

Shepard places a hand on Liara's shoulder, leaning down to kiss her cheek.

"I know. I need to get going. I'll see you soon."

"I love you."

"I love you too." Shepard states with a wink as she walks back towards the crew deck.

Liara watches her lover stalk out of her quarters, and turns her attention back to the battle. With the Normandy in stealth mode, surrounded by millions of advanced AI technology, EDI has suggested that all unnecessary terminals and information consoles be turned off to limit the electronic footprint. Liara had begrudgingly acquiesced: being blind for a few hours could be incredibly damaging. But she trusted her operatives, and knew that nothing that cataclysmic would happen in such a short time frame.

Her room was quiet for the first time in months. There was the faint glow of the lighting from floor, but the terminals were dark. Glyph was active, but without data to process, it was mostly just a night light. Liara looked around, and wondered if silence and serenity were ever going to be a part of her life again, or if chaos and stress would reign. She knew the answer; as long as the Reapers existed, it would always be chaos and stress.

With a sigh, Liara decides to head to the mess hall to make some tea. Without data feeds or information, there was little for her to do. It reminded her of when she first joined the Normandy SR-1. Although back then, she would never have been confident enough to leave her sanctuary, especially not while other crew members roamed the ship.

 _Liara had been standing at the door to the medbay for quite some time. She had decided to leave the little room Doctor Chakwas was kind enough to let her inhabit, and was attempting to work up the courage to get herself some tea. But first, she needed to work up the courage to leave the room. She could hear the voices and the laughter coming from the mess hall, and knew that by the sounds of it, the room was full. She didn't want to face those people, not after having it come about that her mother was working with Saren._

 _She was about to turn back around and head back to the lab when the door suddenly opened, and she found herself face to face with Doctor Chakwas._

 _"_ _Sorry Liara, I didn't know you were on your way out. I almost ran you over." The doctor had said with a kind smile. She held a cup of tea in her hand, and as the aroma hit Liara's nostrils, she found herself wanting the same, even if her anxiety was getting the better of her._

 _"_ _It's no trouble, Doctor. To be honest, I've been standing here for some time just trying to decide if I want a cup of tea badly enough to walk out there and face the stares of the crew." Liara had said quietly. Doctor Chakwas gave her a sympathetic look, glancing back out towards the mess hall._

 _"_ _Oh my dear, there's nothing to be afraid of. They might sound like obnoxious jarheads, but they're all lovely people."_

 _"_ _I have no doubt they are. They just don't seem to think the same way of me."_

 _"_ _Well, you won't know what they're like, and they won't know what you're like, if you stay cloistered in your room all the time. Give them a chance, my dear. You'll see." Chakwas said with a pat on Liara's arm. Liara gave Chakwas a half smile, before nodding her agreement. Chakwas moved aside, letting Liara pass as she walked into the mess hall._

 _To her relief, most of the crew members in the mess hall had not noticed her. They were busy talking about training, or their postings before the Normandy. Some of them were talking about the events that had unfolded at Eden Prime, and some others talked about Commander Shepard's Spectre induction. Thankfully though, it hadn't sounded as though they were talking about Benezia T'Soni._

 _Liara had made her way to the kettle, which was thankfully still hot from Doctor Chakwas having used it. She stood with half her back towards the crew, waiting for it to boil. She had felt the odd feeling of being watched, the sensation causing the skin at the back of her neck to form goose bumps. Turning around slightly, she had noticed that a few male crew members were staring at her and pointing. Liara had felt herself go cold, and knew without a doubt they were talking about her purported involvement with Saren. Before she had a chance to turn tail and run, she heard their boots making contact with the metal floor, and within a moment, she was flanked._

 _"_ _Private Felawa and I were just having a talk, and we thought we should ask your opinion on something, if you don't mind." One of the marines had asked as he stood next to Liara. He had been standing much too close for Liara's liking, but she found she could not move aside, as Private Felawa was blocking her path._

 _"_ _I'm sure whatever you were discussing is much too important to involve me with." Liara had said quietly, wishing that the kettle would boil faster._

 _"_ _Well, the thing is, we just can't wrap our heads around the fact that you're denying you have anything to do with this whole Saren business. I mean, your mom is his right hand woman. Probably his fuck buddy, too. And you're trying to get us all to believe you have nothing to do with it?" the marine continues, his voice taking on a sinister tone._

 _Liara could feel heat rising in her cheeks, tears stinging her eyes at the insinuations._

 _"_ _Yeah, so we want to know the truth." Private Felawa interjects._

 _"_ _Ten-hut! Commander on deck!" a marine yelled behind Liara, and she closes her eyes, her embarrassment increasing. The two marines flanking her immediately stand at attention, saluting in the direction of their commanding officer. Liara stood still, and the kettle clicked, letting her know it was done at the same time as she heard another set of boots moving towards her and the two marines. She had felt the presence of someone else standing directly behind her, and had known exactly who it was._

 _"_ _Private Felawa. Private Tucks. How are you fine marines doing today?" came the smooth voice of Commander Shepard._

 _"_ _Good ma'am. Thank you ma'am." Both marines provide in unison._

 _"_ _Good, good. You two seem nervous. Is there a reason for that?"_

 _"_ _No ma'am. Just helping the asari make some tea." Private Tucks had said._

 _"_ _Hm. I see. That's very noble of you. She has a name though, you know. And a doctorate. Which means she's a hell of a lot smarter than you two, and I don't mean in just a literal sense." Shepard had said, and although there was amusement at their discomfort in her voice, there was also the hard edge of someone who was incredibly displeased. "Actually, come to think of it, my boot probably has more intelligence than both of you. Because what you're pulling, right now, is the stupidest thing I've ever witnessed." Shepard had said in a low whisper. Liara had opened her eyes, and focused on the steam rising from the spout of the kettle as she listened to Shepard. "I want you two to listen to me very carefully, because I am not going to say this again. You do this one more time, or have a conversation with Doctor T'Soni that doesn't involve asking how her day is going, I will personally lock you in the brig and throw away the key. Am I clear, Private?"_

 _"_ _Ma'am, yes ma'am."_

 _"_ _Get the hell out of my sight."_

 _Liara hears the two marines move faster than lightening, their boots sounding in quick succession as they head towards the stairs. Liara had slowly turned to face Shepard. The look on the Commander's face was an anger so complete, it had actually shocked Liara. The look cleared a second later, but Liara was already moving, quickly walking back to the security of the lab._

Liara recalls the memory as she walks through the mess hall towards the kettle. Private Tucks and Felawa had been nothing but courteous to her after that, and she even established some form of friendship with them. They had later apologized, and Liara had been saddened to learn that both marines had lost their lives when the Normandy SR-1 had gone down. Liara smiles sadly as she clicks the kettle on, and waits for it to boil.

"Fancy meeting you here. EDI's not letting you do anything either?" comes the voice of Garrus to her right. She looks up and smiles at her friend as he enters the kitchen, and begins opening one cupboard door after another.

"She is not. Although I understand why. I'm surprised calibrating is on the list of things you are unable to do. What will you ever do with your time now?" Liara asks in mock curiosity.

"Well, I won't be eating, that's for sure. Seriously, Tali has been on the ship less than twenty-four hours, and we're already almost out of dextro rations. That girl can eat." Garrus remarks, promptly turning around with a scared look on his face. "But don't tell her I said that."

Liara laughs at the mild look of panic on Garrus' face. "Don't worry, your secret is safe with me."

Garrus flicks his mandibles with amusement as he turns back around to root through a drawer. The kettle clicks, and Liara pours the hot water in a tea cup, the soft scent of Thessian tea instantly reminding her of home. The smell brought back memories of enjoying the garden of her mother's estate, sitting at Benezia's feet as an attendant poured her a cup of this very same tea. The ocean waves crashing along the shore, the sound of sea birds permeating the air. She picks up the cup, wrapping her hands around it, and closes her eyes as she inhales again.

"Vakarian to T'Soni, you awake in there?"

Liara's eyes shoot open, and she sees Garrus staring at her, a dextro-marked MRE tangling from his talons. She blushes slightly, providing a smile.

"Sorry, Garrus."

"No problem. I just asked if you'd like something to eat. Might as well sit in the lounge and have some lunch since we can't calibrate anything." He says, rolling his eyes in the direction of the ceiling.

"I'm not hungry, but I'd like to sit with you all the same. Also, I'm sure you'll be fine not calibrating anything for a few hours." Liara says as she takes a sip of her tea.

Liara watches Garrus prepare his meal, while he discusses the endless merits of ensuring everything is properly calibrated. Liara listens with a smile while she drinks her tea. She has a hard time picturing herself as the shy, naïve scientist she was when she first arrived. Even Garrus is different; he was so headstrong, and willing to do anything to achieve what he thought was right. His sojourn as Archangel had changed him. He was still headstrong, but he came at it from a place of wisdom, instead of rashness. She has noticed subtle changes in all her friends. Tali had become a respected member of the Fleet, her expertise and advice sought after. Garrus was Shepard's right hand, a confidant, and a close friend. Wrex was certainly less melodramatic and despairing, and more willing to fight for the people he once thought were a lost cause. Joker was less defensive, and Kaidan was less introspective and moody. Liara was thankful for the people she could count on as friends, even if they had all had a rocky start together.

"Ready?" Garrus asks, his food heated up.

"Ready." Liara replies with a smile.


	47. Stubborn Love

A/N: And... I'm back! Some friends and I went camping in Jasper National Park over the weekend, and it turns out I needed a few days extra to recuperate from that.

Also, Happy Canada Day to my fellow Canadian fanfiction members! Weird to have a day off in the middle of the week, but I won't complain ;)

Reviews are always welcome, and I hope you like this one!

* * *

Shepard ducked her head down behind cover, slamming a new thermal clip into her Avenger with a scowl. Shots skimmed across the top of the console she was hiding behind, the loud bang of high velocity slugs drowning out the noise around her. She couldn't see Kaidan on her sensors; he had gone silent, and she couldn't get a visual on him. After finding Legion, geth started dropping from the ceiling, and the three had scattered. It wasn't until they were half way through did she realize Kaidan wasn't to her left. The elevator platform they had been standing on was taken out by a geth rocket trooper, and Shepard hoped that Kaidan had simply fallen down to where Legion was, and not the worst-case scenario that kept running through her head.

The orb of a combat drone suddenly hums past her, and Tali slides to cover beside her. "Go for the optics, Chatika." Tali orders, watching the progress of the drone on her omni-tool.

"Seriously Tali, this is getting fucking ridiculous. They aren't letting up, and they're just getting smarter the more we shoot at them."

"I know; I've had to modify my sabotage codes three times in the last ten minutes. They keep counteracting them." Tali replies, making a disappointed noise when the signal representing the drone blips out of view. "And they're taking my drones out faster. I knew I should have given them rockets."

Shepard checks her shielding, her frown increasing at the readout. She had gotten a little too close to a geth pyro, and it had damaged some of her kinetic barriers. "Yeah, well I don't think rockets are going to help much if we keep taking this kind of damage."

"Why don't we try flanking them? You can head up to that platform and fire at them from up there." Tali says, pointing to a platform to their left. Shepard looks over, and runs a scan on her visor. There are no hostiles on the landing, and if she charges, she can be up there in a second. Looking back at Tali, she sees the expectant tilt of her head, and her chest rising and falling rapidly. She knows that fairly soon, they're going to be grasping at straws; with the geth adapting to their combat styles, and Kaidan randomly MIA, they had few better chances left.

"Alright. I'm going to get over there and draw their aggression. You keep hitting them with energy drain and your drone. Maybe we can whittle them down."

"Sounds good Shepard."

Shepard glances back over to her landing, and draws on her biotic energy to charge, taking cover behind a large pillar. With a topical view of the battle ground, she can see the way the geth are advancing. Knee-high platforms of metal are set up in rows about ten feet apart, allowing one group of geth to fire at them and keep them distracted, while another group jump the platforms and move in closer. From her position she was able to catch a few of them off-guard; firing into a group of four geth that had taken cover while their counterparts shot at where they anticipated Shepard to be. She unloads a clip into one of them before the other three realize that their targets have dispersed. With their attention drawn, and cover rendered obsolete, Tali quickly deploys a combat drone while simultaneously sabotaging another.

"Shepard to Alenko, do you read me?" Shepard asks as she reloads another clip. There is nothing but static in return, and her anger starts to walk side-by-side with trepidation. She fires into the fray again, having seen a geth pyro moving towards Tali, smiling when her incendiary ammo explodes his fuel tank.

"Shepard to Normandy, please tell me you have life signs registering for Major Alenko."

"Aye, Commander. Life signs are strong and stable." Comes the immediate reply from Joker.

Shepard exhales a breath of relief as she throws a shockwave into a group of geth firing at her.

"Good. I don't have a visual, and he isn't responding to comms, so I have no idea where he has gotten himself."

"The last comm we copied from Alenko was just after you found Legion. Since then, we've not heard anything from him. EDI can't do a scan on the dreadnought either without giving away our position."

"Well, this just keeps getting better and better. Tali and I are going to mop up the rest of the geth and try and find him. Stand by."

Shepard leans out of cover, noticing a distinct lack of bullets flying in her direction. She looks over in Tali's direction, and watches as her head slowly appears from behind the terminal. Her visor suddenly alerts her to an incoming hostile, and seconds later, the landing shakes as a geth prime drops from a ventilation shaft.

"Uh, Shepard?" Tali says hesitantly.

"Shit. Ok, drop it's shields and focus on the turrets. Whenever you can, send a drone in to distract it, and send your defense drone my way. I'm going to charge into that thing repeatedly until either it's dead or I am."

"Shepard…"

"Don't worry, I'll probably be fine." Shepard says with a smirk.

"Wait, probably?" Tali exclaims.

Shepard waits until Tali has drained the prime's shields before charging, taking it by surprise. Slamming into the massive geth does little damage, and as she fires an entire clip at its chest in point-blank range, she quickly draws back, ensuring she isn't in hazardous range of it's shotgun. Just as she is priming for another charge, the powerful shots of the geth prime shaking the pillar she is leaning against, Joker comes through the comms again.

"Commander, we've got a problem."

"Don't tell me EDI found herself a different sexy robot body?"

"Ha, no. That would imply Cerberus had planted a mole on the ship and… hey, you know what? I'll theorize that later. More importantly, Traynor just reported that the quarian admirals are sending authorization codes to the fleet. They are preparing to fire at the dreadnought."

"As in, the dreadnought we are currently standing in?" she asks as a cold feeling of dread ripples down her spine.

"Yep, that dreadnought. They must have noticed when Legion dropped the shields on it."

Shepard clenches her jaw, leaning out of cover to fire at the prime as it tries in vain to swat at an incredibly swift moving combat drone.

"Fuck. This is exactly why I didn't tell them. I knew they'd do something stupid. Tali, we need to take this thing out and get the fuck out of here. Kaidan, if you can read me, I need you to get to me. Now."

As Shepard charges again into the prime, a massive explosion rocks the dreadnought as the full force of the quarian fleet starts firing on it. Beams start to fall from the ceiling, and Shepard uses it to her advantage; as one starts to slowly shift, she charges into the massive geth a final time, knocking it backwards just as the beam falls from the ceiling. A flash of blue catches her eye directly behind where the geth prime was standing, and she notices a lone geth trooper with wisps of blue around it, signalling that it has been reaved. With a grin, she charges into the geth, biotically exploding it into pieces as fire erupts to her left. Kaidan stood at the top of a ladder, gun trained on the now dead geth.

"Where the fuck have you been?" Shepard yells as Tali comes alongside her. Kaidan points at his earpiece, and Shepard realizes that his comm unit must be damaged, and she notices the look in his eyes. He looks angry, and Shepard is momentarily surprised by the emotion. Shrugging it off with a mental note to deal with it later, Shepard continues.

"Well, that explains a lot. Let's just get the hell out of here."

"Shepard-Commander, we have found an acceptable escape route. Creator vessels are firing at this dreadnought, and there is little time before it is destroyed. We recommend that you follow us." Legion says from below them. With a final glance at Kaidan, the trio descend the ladder, and follow Legion towards an escape shuttle.

* * *

o.o.o

"And you got through that without punching him?"

"Yeah… something like that."

"That's why you're command material. If it wouldn't have broken every bone in my hand and arm, I would've punched him right in the stomach." Joker says as he preps the jump codes to the mass relay.

"I'd be lying if I said I hadn't wanted to. But it was a sound decision. Sometimes you gotta make a call like that."

"Well, great job getting everyone out of there safely. What the hell happened with Alenko?"

"No idea. He was taking his armour off in the hangar bay when I went to have a chat with the admirals. I'm going to go find out." Shepard says as she leaves the cockpit.

Shepard makes her way through the CIC towards the elevator. She realizes with a frown that she's not checked her messages yet, but stays her course to head towards Kaidan. She finds him in the observation lounge; arms crossed against his chest, leaning back and looking at the deep expanse of space. They were heading towards the relay, and the geth and quarian ships were barely visible now at this distance. The few planets in orbit around the sun were the only other things keeping the Normandy company.

Kaidan turns his head and looks at Shepard as the door opens, and she sees the same look in his eyes. It is perhaps a bit more tempered, and less impacted by combat, but the anger is still there.

"What's going on, Kaidan? What happened down there?"

"That's what I'm trying to wrap my head around, Shepard." Kaidan replies as he looks back out the window.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, the technical answer is that my suits comm system got damaged when that rocket trooper took out the elevator. That I can understand. What I can't understand is why you would abandon a member of your crew."

Shepard stares at Kaidan, the words echoing close to home. She can feel herself getting angry, feel the decisions rise up to the forefront where she's had to abandon a crew member or order them to their death. With a frown, she tells herself that what happened on the dreadnought wasn't like that. She had known, on some level, that Kaidan was alive.

"Wow, you don't pull your punches, do you." Shepard remarks, attempting to keep her anger down.

"Not when my life is at stake, no. That hurt, Shepard. You didn't know if I was alive or dead, and you didn't come back around to check. You just carried on. It was lucky for me I fell back down where that geth was; it showed me a different pathway up. But I feel like, if it hadn't been there, I'd be blown up with the rest of the dreadnought right now." He says in the quiet tones Shepard is familiar with. Shepard attempts to match his tone and posture, knowing that this has the potential to escalate very quickly. She was hoping this interaction could be completed without theoretically ripping Kaidan's head off.

"Honestly Kaidan, I don't need to explain myself to you. But I will, because you're a friend. I didn't look back because I assumed you were right beside me. And to be frank, the mission is always more important than anything else. We had thirty geth firing at us, what could I have done? Go back down into a pit with you and Tali, and allow thirty geth to just take pot shots at us from above? It'd be suicide." She says, pausing to look out at the relay they were approaching. "I probably should have kept a closer eye on you, but I didn't want you to feel like I was babysitting you."

Shepard looks back over to see Kaidan watching her, his hazel eyes scanning her face. Some of the anger was gone, but confusion and hurt were palpable.

"So what I'm hearing you say, is that if I hadn't come up that ladder, or if I had been knocked unconscious or whatever… you would have left me behind? The mission would have taken precedence?"

"I'm not sure why this is a surprise to you, Kaidan. When have I ever not taken a mission seriously? If you're looking for an honest answer, it's yes. The mission would have taken precedence, and I would have been forced to leave you behind. You knew what was at stake when you enlisted; every damn soldier on this ship did as well. We all know we are expendable, and though I will always do my best to bring everyone home, sometimes I won't be able to." Shepard replies as the ghost-like memory of Ashley makes its presence known.

"And what if Liara had been in my position?" Kaidan asks simply.

Shepard feels herself go cold, the sudden and immediate sense of dread drowning out almost every other sense. It is, of course, something she had thought of on multiple occasions; it was a driving force behind every squad mate decision. And though she had thought of it, she has never been able to give herself an answer. Now with Kaidan staring intently at her, she either had to back out or provide him with an explanation.

"I try not to think about it. If I do, I'll go insane. The commander in me wants to say that I would do the same thing, but I… I don't know." She responds quietly.

"It's alright, Shepard. It's an unfair question for me to ask. I guess you don't really know what to do until you're in that situation. I can't say that I'd know what to do. But you're right; we all know what being part of the Alliance military means, and we know that sacrifice is required. I guess that up until now, I was just paying it lip service. When you suddenly find yourself at the precipice of being the one who gets sacrificed, things look a whole lot different."

Shepard looks over at Kaidan, watching his eyes scan the view outside the window. She had intimate knowledge of the feeling of being sacrificed, or following orders that could have led to her death. She could empathize and she understood it wasn't an easy pill to swallow. She knew that at any time during a mission, she might have to order a squad mate into a situation that they may not come out of. That, or the mission could go south, and she would find herself making a decision that could cost the lives of people she loves.

"They do. But, I can only work with what I'm given, and every time we leave this ship and wander into the unknown, I have to hope that it's a situation I'm not going to be faced with. Don't drive yourself crazy over this, Kaidan."

Shepard and Kaidan watch the Normandy closing the distance to the mass relay in silence. There was a subtle shift of gravity letting them know that the engines were ramping up, and the ship banked slightly to accommodate the flight path. Both marines stood still, the gentle waver of the ship a familiar feeling. The once bright stars started to form tails of light as they blurred, and the Normandy increased speed.

"Don't worry, Commander. I know what is asked of me. Thanks for the honesty." Kaidan finally replies as he looks down at Shepard. She smiles up at him and nods, before leaving Kaidan to his thoughts.

* * *

o.o.o

"We've cleared the system, Commander. ETA to the Citadel is ten hours."

"Thanks Joker. I'm going off-duty until we reach the Citadel. Give me a heads up when we're an hour out."

"Roger that."

Shepard was laying on Liara's bed, her arm covering her eyes as she responded to Joker. She had been dozing while Liara worked, and the sudden interruption had jarred her awake. She had left Kaidan and headed to Liara's cabin, and had found that Liara was quite involved in deciphering some of the Prothean data filtering in from an operative. Shepard had smiled at the concentration written all over her lovers face as she greeted her with a kiss to her cheek. She had quietly walked to the bed to lay down, not wanting to interrupt Liara's work. Now with her nap temporarily over, she shifted her arm above her head to look around, seeing that Liara was still at her terminal, her head resting on her hand. Shepard watched Liara suddenly move and type something on the keyboard, before resuming her previous position with a sigh. Shepard quirked a smile, knowing that Liara has probably been working on this piece of data for hours. If it weren't for her steadfast dedication to knowledge, they wouldn't stand half a chance against the Reapers. It was Liara's information network, and her demanding work ethic, that provided them a fighting chance.

"You know you're the brains of this operation, right?" Shepard says with a smile. Liara looks over, the vocal intrustion having startled her out of what Shepard assumes is a particularly difficult translation. Liara's brow markings were almost fused together with how hard she had been concentrating, and dark smudges were showing up under her eyes.

"Hardly. I spend most of my time trying to figure out if the word I just translated means something scientific, or if I have possibly just inserted a Prothean curse word into a string of instructions."

"Well it's not like anyone else would know." Shepard responds with a laugh. Liara's frown breaks, and her lips form into a small smile.

"I suppose you're right. I'd know though. I've tried to enlist Javik to help with some of the more advanced translations, but I fear he has no interest in helping anyone."

"Yeah, well, Javik can be an ass. By the time you finally get his help, you'd have it figured out anyways."

"Perhaps. But half the time, I feel like I'm trying to catch leaves in the wind, and having someone to help who knows the language would be a huge asset. But I suppose I have to work with the resources I can actually use." Liara replies with a tired yawn. She gives a final look at the monitor before shutting it down. She slowly stands up and stretches, and Shepard watches as the muscles in her arms and back flex delightfully. Liara exhales and walks over to the bed, crawling up to where Shepard lay. Shepard feels Liara's soft hand slide up her stomach as her lover settles beside her, resting her head on Shepard's shoulder.

"I didn't realize it had gotten so late. I hadn't been able to work for most of the time you were on that dreadnought, so I was making up for lost time." Liara whispers as she runs her fingers in circles on the soft skin of Shepard's stomach. Shepard can hear Liara exhale contentedly, and kisses the top of Liara's head. Shepard lays still for a moment, a sudden fear creeping down her spine. The thought of not being able to lay with Liara after they had both finished their respective jobs suddenly grips her heart with an incredible sadness.

"What's wrong?" Liara asks.

"How did you know something was wrong?"

"I can feel it when your emotions change, Cora."

Shepard sighs, knowing that melding with Liara on a frequent basis means she is having a harder and harder time of concealing her emotions.

"Just something that Kaidan said to me. He went MIA on the dreadnought because his comms got all busted up during a firefight. He was pissed off that I left him behind and didn't go back to check on him. He asked me if I'd do the same thing if it was you that had gone MIA." Shepard replies as she runs her hand up Liara's back.

"Would you?" Liara asks. Shepard knows the question is coming from a place of unbiased curiosity, and that there's no hint of concern in Liara's voice.

"I don't know. That's all I could give Kaidan. I want to be able to say that I know you'd be fine, and that I'd be able to carry on… but the thought of you getting hurt or worse… it makes me want to burn everything in a fiery death. I'm the commander of these people, of you, and I know what that means. But honestly? I don't think I'd be able to continue the mission. I think I would literally stop everything and make sure you're ok. And that's dangerous." Biting her lower lip, Shepard replies with an honesty she knows she feels. She had dodged the question with Kaidan, but knew she couldn't dodge it here. Admitting that she was fallible was tough, and admitting she would push aside a mission objective for someone on her squad was completely foreign. But she also knew she'd never been in love like this before. _My mom always told me that love makes you do stupid._

"If I am becoming a liability…" Liara starts.

"You aren't. Well, you probably are… but I would rather take my chances with you in the field where I can protect you, than have you somewhere else and getting hurt. I fight better when you're with me; you give me a strength I didn't know I had before. You're good at what you do, and there is nothing better than flying into a group of baddies that you've caught in a stasis field. But it's more than that. You make me feel invincible, like I can stand in front of a Reaper and tell it to go to hell. It scares me to know that at any moment during a fight, one of us could be hurt. But it scares me more to think of you not being near me at all." Shepard says as she fights to push back the tears threatening to fall. She closes her eyes, and feels Liara's hand on her cheek as her fingers trace the line of her eyebrow, down to her ear, and along her jaw.

"I'm not going anywhere, Cora." Liara whispers, and Shepard can feel her mind pressing against her own.

"You don't know that Li." Shepard says as she opens her eyes to look into the blue ones staring back at her.

"Can I show you what I do know?" Liara asks as she places a kiss on Shepard's lips. Shepard nods, and feels Liara's forehead against her own.

"Embrace eternity."


	48. The Cowboy Rides Away

A/N: Two days ago, I reached 10,000 views. You guys are incredible; thank you so much for taking the time to read, favourite, and review this story. I am so happy you like it as much as I do. Thank you :)

On another note, it's Stampede time here in Calgary, and good ol' Cow Town is full of cowboys, rodeos, chuck wagons, and horses for the next week. I love the Calgary Stampede, which means I may neglect a regular update rhythm because I'm either a) riding a horse or b) partaking in Stampede events. I apologize in advance for any irregular chapter postings that may occur!

Enjoy :)

* * *

Miranda Lawson quietly tapped her fingers on the table, her patience running thin. The information broker she had hired was late; there were many things she detested, and being kept waiting was one of them. Especially when her sister, and a significant sum of money, were both on the line. The salarian waiter was attempting to make eye contact with her, a sign that meant she had overstayed her welcome. His patience was clearly running thin as well, considering she has been occupying a table for no apparent reason, while some patrons were queuing up. She is about to stand up, a carefully formulated speech on the merits of punctuality forming in her mind, when she sees the lithe form of an asari gently make her way through the tables towards her.

"Ms. Lawson?" the asari asks by way of greeting once she has arrived at Miranda's table.

"You're late."

"Alia Tagori, it's a pleasure to meet you." The well-dressed asari responds with a smile and a polite tip of her head. "May I?" she asks as she gestures to the chair across from Miranda.

"Please." Miranda responds coolly, unimpressed that the asari has chosen to disregard the comment about her lateness. She watches as Alia takes a seat, regarding the deep blue of her skin with its lilac-coloured facial markings impassively. If Miranda weren't irritated, she might have enjoyed having a drink with this woman.

"I take it you have the information I requested?" Miranda asks. Pale blue eyes meet Miranda's own, and the friendly disposition stifles Miranda's irritation slightly.

"Indeed, Ms. Lawson. It was very well encrypted, and required some expert involvement, but I was able to obtain most of it. You certainly did pay for the best." Alia responds, folding her hands in her lap and smiling at Miranda. She pauses after her statement, regarding Miranda with what appears to be curiosity. Miranda raises an eyebrow when it becomes clear that Alia has no intention of volunteering the information.

"Well?"

"Right to business I see. And here I was hoping to enjoy a drink with you." Alia responds, and Miranda swears she sees a hint of something other than professionalism pass through the pale blue eyes. A curiosity of her own flares in Miranda's mind before it is quickly stifled, the growing concern of her sisters whereabouts pressing to the forefront.

"Yes, well, I have a very limited amount of time. As does my sister, I'm sure. Were you able to find out where she is?"

"That I unfortunately could not find out. Some of the information files regarding Oriana Lawson and Henry Lawson are housed within Alliance channels, and those I am not willing to breach. I was able to find out what your father has been up to over the last year, however prior to that, and the last two months, are locked down very tightly. Interestingly enough, his most recent activities are locked down behind Cerberus firewalls, so that should provide you with enough information to theorize at least who he is working with."

Miranda can feel herself growing pale with the obvious statement that her father is working with the Illusive Man. The potentially dangerous combination did not sit well with her; she knew that her father was willing to do almost anything to get himself written into the annals of galactic history, and that the Illusive Man was insane. The two of them together, and the sudden disappearance of her sister, did not bode well for anyone.

Suddenly, Alia's first statement sends a red flag, and Miranda frowns. "I'm sorry, you said that some of the files are housed within Alliance channels? Why would that be?"

The corner of Alia's mouth turns upwards in a smirk. "Ms. Lawson, there are many people within many organizations that have dirty little secrets. Some are just able to hide them better. It is possible that at one time, Henry Lawson and the Alliance had an agreement. Or it could just be that they were keeping tabs on him. I'm not sure; like I said, I am not willing to interfere with Alliance records." Alia responds in a soft tone.

Miranda processes the information for a moment, temporarily unsure of her next move. She is becoming more sure that her father has something to do with Oriana's disappearance; if he is working with the Illusive Man, he undoubtedly received information on her sister's location directly from the CEO of Cerberus. The Illusive Man was cunning, and most likely provided the information in return for Henry Lawson's assistance on some project. Now it would just be a matter of finding out what that project was, and digging backwards to find any clues from the past two years that would point her to what he could be doing now. She would need access to Alliance files, and she knew exactly who to get that from.

"Thank you for your assistance, Alia. I assume you have the information you found on an OSD?"

"I do. And you're welcome. Are you sure you can't stay for a drink, Ms. Lawson?" Alia responds with a subtle flirtatious tone as she slides an OSD towards Miranda.

Miranda contemplates for far longer than she should have before politely declining.

"Sorry, but no. There's a Spectre I need to track down, and that's going to occupy quite a bit of time I think."

* * *

o.o.o

"Kamikaze Admiral saved? Check. Geth consensus explored? Check. Now all that's left to do is shut down that damn Reaper signal and call it a day." Joker quips as he spins his chair around to face Shepard.

"You make it sound like I was just out running errands or getting groceries." Shepard responds dryly as she leans against the doorframe of the cockpit.

"Well, basically. You went into a geth consensus. Like, virtual reality, and all you have to say is that you're 'a little thirsty'? You're the one making it sound mundane, Commander."

"I gotta stay grounded, Joker. All this insanity around me? If I don't make light of it, I'll end up going on a murderous rampage and killing someone important. I don't think the brass would like that too much."

"Technically, you are able to go on as many murderous rampages as you want. You are a Spectre, Shepard." EDI states in a cheerful tone from her seat beside Joker. Shepard watches as Joker stifles a laugh by covering his mouth with his hand.

"I was being sarcastic, EDI, but thanks for the reminder." Shepard replies, a chuckle escaping her before she could stop it. "Alright, well I gotta go make my rounds, maybe find something to eat before this headache gets worse. How are we doing for fuel and supplies? Do you think it'd be worth stopping at the Citadel, or should we just get rid of that Reaper signal first?" Shepard says as her command tone habitually creeps back into her voice.

Joker spins back around, pulling up the most recent ship diagnostic and the supply data. "Fuel is at half capacity, so we should be ok on that front, assuming we don't do anything but the mission within this system. Supplies might be iffy though. Garrus has sent about ten requests for more dextro rations, however Tali has sent none, so I assume Garrus is just being annoying. But it might not hurt to have someone actually look into it. If you want, I can just request a status report from all lead officers and get it to you within the next half hour."

"That would be great, thanks. Apparently Javik needs me for something, so I'll go see him and then grab some lunch with Liara. Send me that report once it's ready Joker." Shepard says as she moves towards the CIC.

"Yes ma'am."

Shepard walks down the gangway, mentally preparing herself to meet with Javik. He was an incredible soldier, and extremely useful in combat, but his social skills left something to be desired. More often than not, she found herself going from a relatively neutral mood to downright angry within moments of stopping by his quarters. His arrogance towards anything he deemed as 'primitive' appalled her, and his blatant hatred and distrust of AI's was something she once shared. But unlike Javik, Shepard had quickly become used to the benefits of working with AI's, and even counted EDI and Legion among her friends. His narrow-mindedness combined with Shepard's temper has even led to potentially combative conversations due to their differences in opinions.

 _"_ _You know what, Javik? I am no longer surprised the Protheans fell victim to the Reapers. You're so arrogantly stubborn, condescending, and unwilling to cooperate, it's no wonder the Reapers decimated you. It sounds like you even fucking deserved it." Shepard said, no longer able to control the anger she had towards the Avatar of Vengeance. He had just finished giving her a speech on what he would have done to Kaidan for defending a traitor, and with the wound still raw, Shepard had been in no mood to hear it. She had watched Javik's face darken at her words, his animosity towards her growing at an alarming rate. But Shepard hadn't cared; he had crossed a line, and all was fair in love and war._

 _"_ _It is your species' desire to see everyone saved that will be your downfall, Commander. We survived decades of this war; yours is only in its infancy. You will not see it in the same light once it has been going on for fifty years." Javik had replied in low tones._

 _"_ _That's where you're wrong, Javik. This war won't last fifty years, or even one year. Because we are willing to cooperate with other species, instead of enslaving them. We are willing to 'lower ourselves' to work with each other towards a common goal." Shepard said as she scowled at Javik, wanting to goad a reaction out of him. "Your people couldn't handle the stress of fighting a war alone. And the funny thing is, is that you chose to go it alone because you were so damn high and mighty, you thought you could win! Instead of working together, you chose to watch your children die at the hands of the Reapers because of your own selfishness." Shepard continued. At the mention of children, she had watched Javik clench his fists in anger, and knew that he was restraining himself. She had known that the ground she was walking on was treacherous, and that she was quickly crossing a line as well. But anger had been overruling decency, and Shepard found herself with a singular goal in mind: pissing Javik off._

 _"_ _You are the Commander of this ship, and for the time being, of me. It is because of that fact alone that I have not killed you where you stand." Javik replied with a growl._

 _"_ _I'd like to see you try." Shepard said menacingly as she moved one step closer towards Javik. She had watched as his biotics flared minutely, her invasion of his personal space clearly causing his anger to finally rise up. "But I don't think you have guts to try, Javik. Because deep down, you know I'm right." Shepard continued, her green eyes blazing with an anger that still didn't have an outlet. "You know that if it weren't for your species' complete lack of any sense of cooperation, you would've won your war, and I wouldn't be stuck fixing your fuck-ups. Your children would have had the hope that ours do."_

 _Shepard watched with satisfaction as rage crossed Javik's features, and he was no longer restraining his biotics. She had seen the green energy flow down his arm to his fist, and expected to have that fist make contact with her face in less than three seconds. Then, she would finally have an outlet for her anger. She had been disappointed when EDI had come over the comm, letting her know that Anderson was available in the War Room. She hadn't responded; instead, she and Javik had continued to stare at each other, both with their proverbial hackles raised, waiting for the other to make a move. Javik backed down first, his biotics disappearing as he took a step backwards, apparently making the decision to not try and take Shepard out. With a final glare, she had stalked out of his quarters to head towards the War Room._

"Commander?"

Shepard startles out of her reverie just as she walks past her private terminal, Traynor's voice bringing her back to reality. Shepard looks over and notices a particularly distressed look on her comm specialists' face.

"Traynor. What's going on?" She asks as she stops beside the stairs of the galaxy map, Javik instantly forgotten. Traynor wrings her hands together in front of her, a worried look furrowing her brow.

"Sorry to interrupt you, Commander. It's just that you've received a message from Miranda, marked urgent. I've forwarded it to your private inbox, but I also received one from her as well. Something isn't right." Traynor says quietly, and the look on her face instantly makes Shepard anxious. Shepard knew that Miranda was searching for Oriana, and she also knew that she wouldn't send an urgently marked message unless something was very wrong.

"Ok, I'll take a look at it." Shepard says, but the look of worry was only increasing on Traynor's face. Shepard knows that loving someone like Miranda Lawson takes a toll on a person. "Traynor, she'll be ok. If there's anyone in this galaxy more stubborn than me, it's Miranda. Hell, she put up with me for more than half a year, that alone should've warranted a saint-hood." Shepard says as she pats Traynor on the arm. Traynor jumps at the contact, but a look of relief starts to flow into her eyes. "So don't worry too much. She's tougher than she looks, and quite frankly she could probably kick my ass. Just don't tell her I said that." She says with a smile.

Traynor responds with a faint smile of her own. "Thanks, Commander."

Shepard turns towards her private terminal, watching Traynor out of the corner of her eye as she waits for Miranda's message to load. Once it does, her eyes scan through the vague message Miranda had sent, a frown forming on Shepard's face. She now faces a dilemma; the message clearly states that Miranda needs help, and needs it now. However, the Normandy was in-orbit around an extremely fragile Rannoch, and a war that needs to end so that the real war can be won. _Saving damsels in distress is something I'm pretty damn good at, but unless it's critical that I do, I can't just leave a mission…_ _Can I?_

"Report away, Commander. Sounds like we might need to head to the Citadel first after all. Apparently fighting two wars at the same time uses up most of our medical supplies. Who knew?" Joker provides sarcastically over the comm. Shepard hears the sigh of relief that escapes Traynor, feeling her own relief at the decision having been made for her.

"Roger that, Joker. Plot a course to the Citadel."

* * *

o.o.o

"You're shitting me."

"Unfortunately, I am not. Do you need to be so crass?"

"Sorry, Miri. I just can't believe that. You really think the Illusive Man would've given Oriana's location to your father?" Shepard says incredulously. She was standing in Miranda's apartment, the woman in front of her radiating anxiety and stress. To her credit, Miranda was as determined as ever. Like a hound that had captured a scent, she had a lead she wasn't going to let disappear. "Actually, never mind. I don't know why I'm surprised. The Illusive Man is a ruthless bastard."

"He is. And so is my father. I can only just imagine what those two have cooked up. But, there's another reason why I asked to see you." Miranda replies as she wrings her hands. "I need access to secure Alliance channels. I can't really say why, because I don't exactly know myself… but I just need you to trust me."

Shepard contemplates the request for a moment, understanding that the level of access Miranda needs is the highest level clearance Shepard can grant. And as a Spectre, it's top level.

"You'll have your access Miranda, but I don't like the sound of this."

A look of obvious relief crosses Miranda's dark blue eyes, her shoulders lowering slightly. "Thank you. You don't know what that means to me, to have you trust me with that."

"Of course. But I wish you'd let me help you with this."

"I appreciate the offer, Shepard, but I don't want to involve anyone else unless I need to. Besides, from what I hear, you're in the middle of a couple wars right now." Miranda replies with a smirk.

"I know, don't remind me. I swear, the quarians will be the death of me. If it weren't for Tali, I'd be fighting their dumb asses right along with the geth. Who starts a war while the galaxy is literally being destroyed around them?" Shepard asks rhetorically.

"Someone with a lot to lose if they don't try." Miranda says quietly.

Shepard watches Miranda, and she can feel the sadness emanating from her. Finding out her sister is missing while being on the run from just about everyone was starting to chip away at Miranda's resolve, and Shepard feels her heart break for the beautiful brunette. Shepard takes a step forward, placing her hand on Miranda's cheek.

"Hey, it'll be ok. You'll find her, I know you will." Shepard says as Miranda's eyes meet hers. "And if she's anything like you, when you do find her she'll read you the riot act for taking so damn long to get to her. But you'll see her again."

"I know. It's just getting to that point that's exhausting." Miranda says with a sigh as she closes her eyes. She opens them again seconds later, the look on her face suggesting she has just realized something. "I couldn't do this without you."

"Sure you could. There'd be a hell of a lot less casualties, and property damage, but you'd manage." Shepard replies as she moves her hand away, crossing her arms in front of her with a lop-sided smile.

"You're probably right. Does all that property damage come out of your paycheque?" Miranda asks with a smile, picking up on Shepard's levity.

"Hell no. The Alliance pays for anything I destroy while taking out the bad guys."

Shepard watches Miranda's smile grow at the comment, and is thankful that she was able to restore her friends' equilibrium before the exhaustion caused an emotional burn-out. She could see it written all over Miranda's face plain as day, and knew she was walking side-by-side with a sadness Shepard was familiar with. Long ago, Shepard came to the realization that Miranda was very similar to her; they both present a façade to on-lookers that make it seem like they've got everything figured out, when really their entire lives were falling apart. Shepard theorized that it's why they've become so close, and why their bond was so strong. Shepard had a sense though that Miranda's lonely walk was almost done, whereas her own was nowhere close to over.

"I hate to leave, but I've gotta get back to the Normandy. We ship out in an hour." Shepard says quietly.

"I understand. I should get to work on figuring all this out. I don't suppose Specialist Traynor made it off the ship, did she?" Miranda asks. Shepard pauses for a heartbeat, realizing that someone else now holds that position of confidant.

"Yeah, she's waiting in Apollo's. I outrank her, so I came up first." Shepard says with an easy-going tone she isn't sure she feels is true.

"Alright. Thank you Shepard. For everything." Miranda says with sincerity.

"You're welcome. Please be careful."

"I promise."


	49. Tessellate

Liara watched her data feed update with mild interest, the monitor next to her providing information worth significantly more. It was displaying the suit telemetry data for Shepard, Garrus, and Tali as they made their way through the geth base in order to destroy the Reaper signal. They've only been ground-side for about twenty minutes, but already Liara had a gnawing feeling in her stomach. She knew something was wrong, but she couldn't put her finger on it. She typically felt nervous when Shepard was ground-side and she remained on the ship; there were a million and one things that could go wrong, and while she could only help with a handful of those things, at least if she were down there she wouldn't be operating in the dark. She knew why Shepard has Garrus with her, but Liara secretly wonders if Garrus asked to be a part of the squad for the same reasons Liara herself wished she was down on the planet. It was no secret that Tali and Garrus have grown quite close, and Liara was glad for them. But she also knew what it meant to love someone who was in constant danger of losing their life. She could already see the signs in Garrus. He'd almost had a heart attack when he found out the quarian admirals were firing on the dreadnought while Tali was onboard. Liara had never seen him so angry, and had to almost biotically restrain him from systematically sniping each and every one of the admirals.

Liara allows her mind to wander for a moment, caught in a thought of what it must be like to be with someone and not have intimate knowledge of their partner through a meld. Shepard and Liara were able to share emotions, feelings, doubts, fears, love, and happiness all within a second. Liara could see the stress and anxiety, and witness it as though they were her very own emotions. Shepard could see Liara's singular and steadfast love, as well as her own trepidation that she wasn't doing enough. Each doubt or worry was blended together so that both minds became one. The benefit to this was that positives flowed through just as much as the negatives; Shepard was becoming more patient. She had a wider understanding of other people and their need to find solace. She was developing an empathy that was not naturally her own. Liara shared her own personality traits with Shepard, and they were becoming part of her. On the flip side, Liara mused, she was becoming more impatient, short tempered, and unsympathetic. But she was also gaining the ability to stand up for what she believed in, to fight for something greater than herself, and to be unyielding in her devotion.

Because of the frequent melding, Liara knew she had a deep and unrestrained knowledge of Cora Shepard. Garrus would never have that with Tali, and it made Liara sad for her friends. They would never be able to truly become one person. They would each independently carry emotions that had no verbal form of expression, nor would they be able to see what love really looks like. Liara made a mental note to ask Shepard how limiting this must be for other species; she's seen whispers of past relationships, and knows Shepard's had them. Her pure curiosity would outweigh the minute jealousy she might feel.

Liara feels a sudden spike in her mind; a sharp intake of emotion denoting that something is happening with Shepard. She turns on the audio portion of the data feed, and hears short bursts of gunfire, the metallic whine of geth as they are powered down, and the random cursing of her lover.

"Fuck, how the hell did we not see them? That scared the piss out of me."

"No kidding. They didn't even show up on my HUD." Garrus responds.

"Fucking geth. I really wish they didn't just pop up out of nowhere. I hate jump scares." Liara hears the angry, and slightly shaky voice, as Shepard pauses to load a new thermal clip. She knows the deep-seated fear Shepard has of anything to do with being scared, and Liara can't help but smile slightly at how Shepard reacts to being startled.

"Alright, let's keep moving. Tali, we're closing in on the main doors?" Shepard continues.

"Kind of. We have to go through one of the side entrances. I've marked it on your omni-tool for you."

"Hey, you didn't mark it on my omni-tool." Garrus says with a mock pout in his voice.

"Well, that's because I just assumed you'd follow behind me. I'm sure you'd appreciate the view better anyways."

Liara smiles widely at the innuendo, and knows exactly what look Garrus must be giving Tali right now, as the small quarian innocently makes the remark. There's a brief pause where no one says anything, before a clearly impressed Shepard starts laughing.

"Wow, well played Tali. Oh man, I wish you could see the look on your face Garrus, because seriously, it is priceless."

Liara hears Garrus clear his throat before speaking. "Yes, well, that was… unexpected. And not at all unwelcome. But maybe we could focus on the geth immediately in front of us?"

"Shit. Damn geth bastards!" Shepard says before the audio feed fills up with the sound of gunfire. Liara switches the audio off again, content in the knowledge that the spike she felt was just Shepard getting spooked. With her data upload finally completed, Liara turns her attention back to her Shadow network.

* * *

o.o.o

"Well, that's because I just assumed you'd follow behind me. I'm sure you'd appreciate the view better anyways."

Shepard stares at Tali, her mouth agape at the boldness of the comment. She looks to her left to take in Garrus' expression, and can't contain her laughter. She isn't sure what the equivalent of a turian blush is, but she's sure Garrus is doing it. His mandibles flick a couple times, and for the first time in many months, Shepard can feel herself feel genuinely happy. The look on her best friend's face is something she will never forget; neither will she forget the way Tali delivered the remark in mock naiveté, swaying her hips purposefully as she strode past Garrus.

"Wow, well played Tali. Oh man, I wish you could see the look on your face Garrus, because seriously, it is priceless." Shepard remarks, still laughing at the expression on Garrus' face as the three of them stood in the middle of a pathway.

Garrus clears his throat, and Shepard expects a smart-ass remark, however he throws logic into the fray.

"Yes, well, that was… unexpected. And not at all unwelcome. But maybe we could focus on the geth immediately in front of us?"

Suddenly, Shepard's visor alerts her to four incoming hostiles, and she spins around, all humour forgotten. The geth were amassing in front of the door they needed to proceed through, and most of them were rocket troopers.

"Shit. Damn geth bastards!" Shepard exclaims as she unloads into the chest of the nearest geth. The rocket troopers were her greatest concern; she would rather be in the middle of the fight, charging and blowing things up with pure biotic energy. However, getting too close to a rocket trooper could lead to serious issues. They could decimate her shields in one hit, and potentially kill her in another. Surrounded by four of them, and she probably wouldn't stand a chance. Shepard bides her time, slowly advancing from cover point to cover point, taking out the rocket troopers first. Garrus has gone wide and to higher ground, and she hears the loud boom of his sniper rifle as a geth drops to the ground. Tali is just below her, hiding behind a pillar and sending her newly upgraded rocket drone to harass the geth. Shepard can feel her heart lift at the sight; two of her closest friends, working in perfect tandem with her. She'd not provided one order, or asked them to do anything; they just knew. They've been working with her for so long, and had fought beside her every step of the way, that they just had an innate sense of what to do. Faced with such synchronicity, the geth didn't stand much of a chance. In short order, all hostiles had been eliminated, and Shepard leads her squad farther into the compound.

Shepard and her team fight through the base, wave after wave of increasingly desperate geth blocking her path. It was easy work, until they stumbled across three geth primes waiting for them above the signal source. With no time to prepare, Shepard was again thankful for the cohesion of her team. Without a thought, she charges into the geth prime immediately in front of her as it deploys a turret. She hears the other two geth on their side of her as their fire their shotguns, Garrus and Tali undoubtedly hiding behind solid cover. Shepard makes the mistake of looking towards Tali for a nanosecond, and instantly she is hit across the face with the solid mass of the geth prime's elbow making contact. She feels her shields flicker as she stumbles backwards, the geth prime taking advantage of the reprieve to fire a couple shots into her. Her shields fail completely, and as fight or flight takes hold of her, her world slows down, and she takes a moment to evaluate. _I can withdraw, but without shields, I'm as good as dead. Its turret is gone, but it won't be long until another one is deployed. My only option is to charge. The contact will force my shields to regenerate, and at least then I can find some cover._

"Nice try, fucker." Shepard says quietly, as she charges full-force into the geth prime. Without another biotic on the field, the contact isn't as blue, and there is a distinct lack of explosions, but it achieves her goal. With her shields restored, and the geth primes' now down to half, she has a chance to withdraw.

"Shepard? We need to coordinate this. They're too strong for each of us." Garrus says to her through the comm.

With a grimace, Shepard locks on to the geth nearest Tali, knowing that the quarian's shields and armour are significantly weaker than Garrus'. Flying across the battle ground in a flash of blue, Shepard makes contact with the geth just as Tali sabotages its systems.

"Tali! Hack the one near Garrus. At least then we'll have a few seconds of them fighting each other." Shepard orders breathlessly as she dances around the geth, staying clear of its amazingly sharp elbows. She fires directly into the circuity on its back, drawing its attention away from Tali. Shepard charges again once it's facing her, her Avenger firing red-hot bullets directly into its chest. With a creaking, metallic screech, the prime drops, falling into a heap of metal and smoke at her feet. She looks straight ahead, watching as the hacked geth blows the other prime into pieces, shrapnel of metal bits flying around. Its shields drop, signalling the hack is over, and as it turns around to find its target, its immediately hit by the force of three separate guns and multiple tech and biotic attacks. Within seconds, the final geth prime lay in ruins on the floor.

"Well. That was a thing." Shepard says, her breathing heavy as she looks around at the smoking, short-circuiting remains of the geth.

"That was indeed a thing. One that I hope I'll never have to do again." Garrus remarks as he empties his thermal clip.

"I did not realize the geth had become so advanced. That last prime was about two seconds away from turning my own hack against me, making it so that my drones attacked us instead. I'm glad we took it out before it did that." Tali said quietly.

Shepard surveyed the room, and caught sight of the pathway leading to the deep pit they had watched close over.

"Shepard-Commander, we detect no more geth in your immediate area. Reinforcements are minutes away." Legion joins in.

"Alright. We're almost done. One shot to that Reaper signal, and we can head home."

* * *

o.o.o

Liara had made her way to the cockpit, too anxious to get any real work done. She had watched Shepard's shields disappear as the geth prime had savagely attacked her face, and had heard Shepard's taunt a few seconds later. With the fighting increasing in pace, Liara had decided to join Joker and EDI instead of pacing aimlessly around her cabin.

"Hey, EDI, you won't like… go rogue, will you?" Joker asks, and Liara knows he is only half joking. Seeing the advancement in the geth primes has most likely scared him.

"No, Jeff. I've already done that once; I do not plan to a second time." EDI replies. Liara knows she is referring to the incident on Luna all those years ago, but doubts that Joker knows that story.

"Wait, when did you go rogue?"

"I think that perhaps I will have to tell you that story later. The Commander is requesting the sync. One moment."

The haptic display in front of EDI changes from the overhead view of the geth base, to the syncing laser currently being activated by Shepard.

"Normandy's weapon systems are ready to sync to your target. I recommend you withdraw to a safe distance." EDI provides to Shepard seconds later. The display showing the laser lights up, indicating that the gun is firing, painting a target for EDI to hit.

"Target locked." EDI states. Liara can feel the pull and shift of the Normandy as it flies low over the earth of Rannoch. A deep rumble precedes two shots as they are fired from the main battery. A brief moment of silence goes through the cockpit, as human, AI, and asari all wait for the confirmation that the target has been destroyed. They re-enter orbit of Rannoch, the safety of space surrounding the Normandy. A warning of shield depletion pops up on Joker's display, and Liara hears him swear under his breath.

"Shit. Shepard must've gotten hit with the blowback. She should've gotten to a safe distance."

Liara feels it seconds later; an ominous, dark foreboding, as though a shadow has crossed her minds eye. She feels the tendrils of dark smoke intertwine with reality, and has to resist the urge to vomit as she feels a looming presence threaten to tear her apart. Sitting in orbit, she knows that it isn't her emotions she's feeling, but Shepard's.

"Reaper!"

Liara feels herself grow cold as the shocked voice of Shepard comes through the comm. EDI's haptic display instantly shows her the now familiar shape of a Reaper destroyer lifting itself from the bottom of the pit.

"Everybody, get to the ship. Move!" Shepard orders, and Liara feels her lover's moment of panic as though it was her own. She's on the ground with a Reaper, and there's nothing she can do.

"Action stations, action stations. This is not a drill. Reaper presence confirmed. Action stations." EDI alerts throughout the ship.

"EDI, get me a scan on the system. I don't want that thing calling in it's buddies. We can't have Reaper capital ships showing up on our flank."

"Yes Jeff."

"And patch in the quarians. They need to know what's going on. Relay to them that we have Reaper contact ground-side. And for the love of all that is holy, do not let them shoot at our people."

Liara watches as orders fly through every available comm frequency. EDI is hard at work, keeping an active scan of the system going while simultaneously informing the quarians of what was going on. The dread she feels is growing, gnawing at her that something cataclysmic was about to happen. She knew Shepard felt it too; it was faint, but she felt Shepard's mind, and the fear present there. She watched on Joker's display as Legion piloted a geth ship in the opposite direction of the Reaper, and the confirmation from the quarian admirals that they have successfully fired on the Reaper, rendering it temporarily immobile.

Then suddenly, Liara heard the words that almost made her heart stop.

"Pull over. I'm not running from that thing."

"Shepard-Commander?"

"You heard me. Let me out of this thing, then get the fuck out of here. I'm going to blow this Reaper back to hell."

EDI and Joker stop, both of them processing what Shepard has just ordered. Liara can feel herself starting to panic, and she brings her hand up to her mouth to stop herself from crying out. Shepard was about to stand in front of a Reaper, with no protection, and no backup.

"No." Liara whispers, and she can feel the tears forming behind her eyes.

* * *

o.o.o

Shepard jumps out of the geth ship, striding purposefully towards the very angry Reaper. Its massive black bulk looming ahead of her as it struggled to rise up after being pummeled by the quarian fleet.

"EDI?"

"Yes, Commander?"

"I want this laser synced up to the whole damn fleet. Can you make that happen for me?"

"Of course, Commander."

Shepard pauses, watching the Reaper gather its strength as it stands up, firing into space. She can feel a headache forming at the back of her skull as she fights down the urge to vomit. The recollection of Aratoht comes to mind; being close to that artifact had not been pleasant. But this was a Reaper. And it was still kilometers away. _If that thing gets closer to me, I might not be able to stay conscious long enough to kick its ass._

With a resigned sigh, Shepard walks forward towards the edge of a cliff. The Reaper hasn't noticed her yet, content to shoot at the quarians in-orbit. She regards the monster that has led her to this point. All of the fighting, the mediating, the loss of friends and loved ones, has been caused by the machine in front of her and its ilk. As she watches it, she wonders for a moment how she'll survive against millions of the same, let alone the one in front of her. Wanton destruction, chaos, and heartbreak are the calling cards of the black demon in front of her.

 _But then again, the same thing is said about me._

"Li?" Shepard asks as she switches to her private comm.

"I'm here."

"I'm sorry. I love you, ok?"

"Cora, please don't…"

"Hey, it's ok. I have to do this. I'm not going to run from it so it can continue to keep hold of the geth."

"But what about you?"

The heartbreak she hears in Liara's voice almost does her in. She knows Liara is watching, and listening. She knows she has been this entire time. And now, she will most likely have to watch her lover die.

"There is no me anymore, Li. There hasn't been for a while."

A brief pause follows her words, and she unships the laser from her back. Pointing it at the Reaper, she presses the trigger down, waiting for the sync to complete.

"I love you."

"I love you too."


	50. Burning Bridges

A/N: I did not mean to take so long to get this up here. I started writing a couple nights ago, but I just wasn't feeling it. And then tonight I had all these ideas pop into my head, and lo and behold, a chapter was born.

Thank you to everyone who is following Cora Shepard, as well as those of you reviewing. Thank you as well to author/amazing artist A.E. McDuff, who has given me so much fantastic feedback, as well as the encouragement to keep writing.

Enjoy :)

* * *

Liara walked towards the medbay, uncertainty clouding her steps. The crew deck was quite; most of the Normandy's people were down in the hangar bay, celebrating the end of the geth/quarian war. James had surreptitiously unearthed some rather fancy tequila from underneath his work station, cheers of the off-duty crew proceeding his discovery. Liara had joined them for a moment, hugging Tali and congratulating her on the return of her home world. Garrus had been her shadow; following at her elbow, ensuring her glass of turian brandy was never more than half empty. It has proven to be a monumental day for Tali and all the quarian people. They had a firm and solid place to call home. As Liara had exited the hangar bay, she wondered how long it would be until another skirmish broke out. The quarians had new neighbours, and although Liara trusted the geth, she was hesitant to trust the quarian admirals. Living side by side with a race they had been in constant war with for three hundred years was bound to be stressful.

The gentle hiss of the med bay doors opening broke into her thoughts, and she glanced around. The smell of antiseptic greeted her, as well as the pristine white floors and the immaculately kept shelves of medical books and medicine cabinets. Doctor Chakwas was at her desk, and turned around to greet Liara.

"Liara, how are you?" Doctor Chakwas asks with a smile as she stands up.

"I'm well, thank you."

"Forgive me if I don't believe you. You look as though you haven't slept for days. Someone as young as yourself should be full of piss and vinegar – pardon my language – not shadowed in stress as you are." Chakwas says as she approaches Liara. Her tone suggests she is playing, however Liara notices the look on the doctor's face. It is one of pure professionalism, as Chakwas undoubtedly makes a mental note of all of Liara's visible concerns.

"I'm sure it's nothing a good sleep won't fix, but I do appreciate your concern. That mission on Rannoch was… stressful."

Chakwas smiles sympathetically, and Liara allows her to place an arm on her shoulder. If she were being honest with herself, stressful was the last word Liara would have used to describe that mission. Life-altering would have been much more appropriate, and she feels as though she's aged by at least one hundred years.

 _With the Reaper's attention diverted from the fleet, Joker had entered the lower atmosphere of Rannoch while in stealth mode to offer additional support if Shepard needed it. Liara stood watching the vid feed, holding her breath as the giant beast of a machine took calculated, purposeful steps towards Shepard. Its huge body rocked with the force of a thousand ships slamming their munitions into it, but still it had not faltered. It had a singular goal: destroy the lone woman standing in front of it._

 _"_ _Is there nothing we can do?"_

 _"_ _I don't like being up here any more than you do Liara, but no. There isn't. It's a one way trip for us if we get the Normandy involved." Joker replied to Liara's anxious plea._

 _"_ _And it's a one way trip for Shepard if we don't help!" Liara countered, raising her voice, tears of frustration threatening to fall._

 _Joker had turned his chair around to look at her, and Liara knew that she was panicking. She had to calm herself down, or risk Joker requesting that she leave the bridge._

 _"_ _I know, ok? I know this is hard. But listen; she's a small target. She's been dancing around that red beam like it's nothing. She'd have to lose total focus to get taken out by that thing. The Normandy flying in, shooting at the Reaper? That would change her focus. And there's no way we could dodge that beam like Shepard can."_

 _"_ _Jeff is correct. At this proximity, we would suffer major damage if hit by the Reaper." EDI added._

 _Liara had nodded with a sigh, and looked back at the feed provided by the Normandy's external cameras. She knew the logic was sound, and wouldn't dream of second guessing Joker. But her life was down there in front of a monster, and she didn't know what to do to help._

 _Moments later, the laser had synced up again, and the quarian fleet fired for the last time. The Reaper slowly started to fall to its knees, the overwhelming force of the combined assault finally dropping it. Liara glances to the read out on Joker's terminal, noting an extremely fatigued Shepard. Her shields were gone, her heart rate was through the roof, and her suit was administering a plethora of pain medication and anti-comedown meds. They had been not nearly close enough to get a look at Shepard's face, but Liara could feel the exhaustion, and she had known that Shepard was moments away from falling._

 _"_ _Tell your friends I'm coming for them." They heard Shepard say through the comm, seconds before she requests a final sync._

 _"_ _Never mind. I'll tell them myself."_

 _The main guns of the Normandy fired directly into the oculus of the dying Reaper, finally rendering it non-functional. Joker switches to Garrus' helmet cam to get a better view of the ground, and Liara watched as Garrus trots towards his commander. The syncing laser falls from her hand, as her knees connect with the ground. Liara watched as her lover collapses onto the soil of Rannoch, and hears Garrus call for Doctor Chakwas to meet them groundside. Before she realized what she was doing, Liara was running through the CIC towards the hangar bay, wanting to ensure she was in that transport._

"Liara?"

"Hm? Oh goddess, I'm sorry Doctor." Liara responds, realizing that Chakwas has clearly asked her something.

"It's quite alright my dear. I just wanted to know if you'd like to see her. I've got her sedated; she needs to sleep far longer than what she will allow herself, but she's sleeping comfortably. I was going to have one of the marines take her to her quarters, but now that you are here, I think I'll just arrange for them to take her to yours." Chakwas advises.

Liara looks in the direction Chakwas motioned to, noting a curtain surrounding one of the beds.

"Thank you, that would be ideal. I'll be able to keep an eye on her. Was she badly injured?"

"No, thankfully. She'll have a black eye from where that geth prime knocked her face, but no broken bones or anything serious. Just exhaustion; physically, mentally, and biotically. I do have her hooked up to an IV, but it's simply to ensure her electrolytes gain strength." Chakwas says as she regards Liara. "I think I might go down to the hangar bay, just to make sure no one hurts themselves. I'll come back up in an hour or so to organize moving her. Her IV will be done by then, we'll get her someplace comfortable, and I'll give the both of you some sleep aids."

"That really won't be necessary. For me, at least." Liara counters.

Chakwas smiles, and Liara knows she isn't going to get out of it. There's one person that intimidated Shepard, and it was this brilliant, caring, sympathetic wonder of a woman. Liara had initially found it surprising, until she had witnessed first-hand Commander Shepard, Council Spectre, cowed by Doctor Chakwas.

Liara glances again towards the curtains, then back at the doctor. "Thank you, Karin."

"It's my pleasure, Liara."

Liara walks towards the bed, and quietly pushes aside the curtain. Shepard is laying on her side, facing away from Liara, the steady beep of the IV machine filling the silence. Her black hair falling in a pool against the stark contrast of the brilliant white sheets, and Liara watches the gentle rise and fall of her ribcage as she takes long, slow breaths. Liara smiles slightly, marvelling at the way Shepard looks so innocent, so peaceful, when mere hours ago she was staring down a Reaper. Liara approaches the bed, walking around to sit in the chair beside her lover. Her face was dark with bruises, the skin around her left eye already turning a dark blue. The rest of her skin was pale, paler than normal, and Liara frowns. She momentarily doubts if the exhaustion is simply from the last mission, or if it has been this bad for this long.

She reaches out and brushes a strand of hair away from Shepard's cheek, tucking it behind her ear. She trails her fingers down the soft skin of her jaw, and places a soft kiss on her brow. She watches as Shepard's brows move infinitesimally, and notices that her breathing has changed. Liara realizes with amusement that Shepard is waking up; Doctor Chakwas clearly had underestimated Shepard's desire to be awake lest she miss anything important.

Shepard's eyelids flicker, and Liara watches as the brilliant green orbs attempt to focus, finally settling on Liara's face.

"Li…"

"You're supposed to be sleeping, Cora." Liara says with mock admonishment. She doesn't feel too upset; she's just happy to see Shepard awake and alive after having witnessed the events on Rannoch.

"I can't sleep. There's too much to do." Shepard responds quietly, and although her tone is insistent, she makes no move towards getting up. Liara has to hide her smile when the opposite happens, and Shepard curls further into herself, sighing in contentment. Liara strokes Shepard's cheek, and watches as her commander's eyes slowly close again as she drifts back into sleep.

* * *

o.o.o

Shepard struggles against something that is pinning her down. She opens her eyes, but she can't focus on anything; it's too dark, and she can feel herself starting to panic. Beads of sweat form on her brow as her legs kick at something unknown, something threatening to grab her. She closes her eyes, but all she can see is the terrible face of a Reaper staring down at her, the red beam denoting death if she isn't quick enough, if she doesn't think fast enough. She can't feel anyone around her, and the feeling of desolation surrounds her again. She had been alone with that Reaper, it's dark presence pressing down on her, threatening to break her resolve. Garrus and Tali were with Legion, the Normandy nowhere to be seen. She can feel her heart pick up its pace as she struggles against the incredible anxiety of being alone in all this. She opens her eyes again, wanting to catch something; some form of light, a face she knows, anything other than the death and destruction that is her mind. Something touches her face, and she tries to swat it away but her arms are sluggish and sore, her mind unable to register anything other than the panic threatening to consume her.

"Cora!"

Her eyes fly open, and this time there is light. Her eyes still can't focus, but she can feel the panic receding, feel the familiar presence of someone she knows. She stops struggling, and blinks a few times. Her eyes clear, and she finds herself looking at Liara.

"Goddess, are you alright?" she hears her ask, and she feels Liara's hands on her face. As the fog clears, Shepard registers the look of panic and concern on Liara's face, and mentally steps back to asses where she is. Liara is kneeling beside her on the bed in only a tank top, and Shepard surmises that she must have been sleeping. It is then that Shepard realizes that means she had been dreaming. She pushes herself up to her elbows looking down to see the sheets in a knot around her legs. She shakes her head a couple times, willing the image of the Reaper to disappear. Looking back at Liara, she tries her best to smile.

"Sorry Li. Hell of a dream." She manages, although she can't seem to achieve the nonchalance she was going for.

Liara frowns, turning her attention to helping Shepard untangle the disaster that was their bedding. With her body incredibly sore, and her limbs still not working as well as she'd like, she watches as Liara succeeds in straightening the covers as she lays back down beside her. Shepard gingerly lays back down, the muscles in her shoulders feeling as though they will break from any form of exertion.

"Chakwas drugged me, didn't she?" Shepard asks after a moment.

"She did. You were in a sorry state when we got you back on-board. She wanted to make sure you got the rest you need." Liara replies as she moves closer into Shepard's side.

"How long have I been out?"

"About sixteen hours."

"Sixteen hours? Holy hell. Is the galaxy still around?"

"Yes, the galaxy is still around, Cora." Liara responds, and Shepard can hear the smile in her voice.

"Well, that's good I suppose. Although if it weren't, and you and I were, that wouldn't be a terrible way to live a life." Shepard muses, the remaining sedatives finally clearing from her brain. The dream she had been having still lurked at the fringes of her mind, but with consciousness came clarity, and she already felt more at ease.

She allows her mind to wander, trying to piece together what she remembers last, and slowly the pieces of the puzzle click into place. She remembers threatening a dying Reaper, and watching as its eye goes black as it's pummeled by the quarian fleet. She knows she dropped the laser, and then allowed herself to follow it, exhaustion taking hold as she slipped into unconsciousness. It hadn't lasted long, and she remembers Garrus rudely waking her up from her nap, concern written all over his face.

She had stood up as Garrus helped her to her feet, watching Tali and Legion having a heated debate. She was still dancing on the edge of unconsciousness when she finally realized the option Legion was presenting to her. Shepard remembers yelling at a bunch of admirals in order to end a war, and breathing a sigh of relief when they listen to her. She watches as Legion dies for what it – he – believes in. He dies for his people, for the quarian people. With remorse biting at her heels, and an all-consuming exhaustion threatening to tear her apart, Shepard remembers watching a transport pull up, and Chakwas and Liara rushing towards her. She blacks out before they get to her, finally able to sleep for more than a few moments.

Her recollection is broken by the gentle touch of Liara's fingers against her abdomen, and she is brought back to reality. The distraction increases when suddenly Liara repositions, and straddles her hips. Shepard looks up at Liara, her mind still not making all the connections it usually does, not acting as fast as she'd like. Liara leans down, her lips meeting Shepard's, and as if electricity finds its way through her body, Shepard reacts instinctively. She deepens the kiss, finally reacting to what she knows and loves. The mission is pushed aside, the decisions of the galaxy are left on the back-burner, and Shepard allows herself the freedom of becoming one with her person.


	51. Safe and Sound

There were few things these days that surprised Samantha Traynor. She's witnessed first hand devastation, brought down from the sky by menacing machines hell bent on her destruction. She works closely with the first human Spectre and most of her famous crew. She's been assaulted by reporters because of the ties, and had her first glimpse of what she looks like in a vid because of it. She's spoken to admirals, diplomats, and councillors, all of whom have asked her sincerely for her opinion on mission-sensitive intel. Grandiose and marvellous things happened around her, as well as heartbreak and despair. And she took it all in stride. Yet this morning, she was surprised by the most insignificant thing of all.

She was surprised to learn that she was able to drink almost an entire bottle of tequila and not die.

Traynor was fairly certain she was dying, however. Her head was threatening to split in half, her stomach was _extremely_ upset with her, and although she wanted to sleep for days, she was unable to do so for longer than an hour. She stood at her terminal, clutching on to her coffee cup as though it was her saving grace, and practically scowled at everyone around her. It was quiet in the CIC, most of the other crewmembers in a similar state to her own. It was also fairly early, barely even 0600 SST. This meant that Traynor had a few moments to check her messages before more crew showed up, and then she could disappear again into the depths of the crew quarters, waiting for the hangover to either go away, or slowly kill her.

She takes a sip of her coffee, her hand shaking slightly at the effort. Normally she shied away from the chocolate-coloured mud the Alliance passed off as coffee, but today she made an exception. If there was one thing that was going to save her, it would be this coffee, she was sure of it.

"Specialist Traynor?"

"God, EDI… not so loud." Traynor sputters, the sound of the AI's voice piercing through her brain.

"I apologize. I will alter the volume of my audio out-put. Is this better?"

"It sounds the same, although you could be whispering and it would still be just as loud." Traynor replies with a grimace. The sound of EDI's far too chipper voice has made her slightly dizzy. It is then that Traynor realizes she may perhaps still be intoxicated.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, I just wanted to advise you there is a call waiting on the QEC."

Traynor closes her eyes, the voice still far too loud for her. Opening her eyes and glancing around, she notices that some of the other crew members seem to be responding to the vocal intrusion the same way.

"All right. Shepard is off-duty as per Major Chakwas, so I could see if Vakarian is awake." She replies to EDI, setting the coffee cup down on her terminal, mentally preparing herself to move towards the elevator.

"It is not mission critical, Specialist. It is actually for you." EDI responds happily. Traynor blinks a few times, grasping on to her coffee cup once more.

"For me? Who the bloody hell would want to speak to me? And at 0600 hours no less."

"The channel is heavily encrypted, but – "

"Miranda."

Traynor feels relief mixing with her already over-taxed emotions. She hasn't heard from Miranda in over a week and a half. Normal, she supposes, for someone on the run for her life. But nevertheless, it was still stressful for Traynor to not know where Miranda was, or if she was ok. Miranda had been a wreck the last time she had seen her, and had burst into tears moments after Traynor walked into the room.

 _"_ _God, I'm sorry. This is hardly appropriate behaviour for a second date." Miranda said as she sniffled, trying her best not to let the tears dampen Traynor's shoulder._

 _"_ _Hey, it's alright. Although I highly doubt this counts as a second date. I'm not wearing something fancy." Traynor supplied in an attempt to calm Miranda down. She had knocked on the apartment door, had been granted entry, and watched the anxious disposition of Miranda Lawson slowly crumble into a proverbial heap on the floor. Traynor had barely taken five steps into the apartment before Miranda was throwing her arms around her neck and sobbing on her shoulder._

 _Traynor ran her hand soothingly down Miranda's back, waiting for the tears to slow. She rested her head against Miranda's, closed her eyes, and breathed in a scent she had missed. They'd only spent what equaled two days together, and already Traynor found herself more attached than she originally intended to get. She had felt Miranda move, and opened her eyes, Miranda slowly untangling herself from around Traynor's neck. Traynor had tried to step back to give Miranda some space, but she had suddenly found that Miranda's lips were on her own as Miranda snaked her arms back around Traynor's neck, her hands running through her hair. It had taken Traynor seconds to respond, her own mouth moving against Miranda's as the beautiful Australian tried to increase the tempo. Traynor had felt her body react, when a small thought pushed her way to the forefront of her mind. With a strength she hadn't been aware she had, she had pulled back, breaking the kiss._

 _Miranda had stared at her, her blue eyes registering confusion, and Traynor had fought every urge in her entire being not to reinitiate what Miranda had started._

 _"_ _If you do that, I will not be able to focus. And there is clearly something very wrong." Traynor had said by way of explanation. "Not that I am not one hundred percent interested in rolling around in bed with you for the next hour. But I can't leave you like this. What's going on?"_

 _Traynor had waited with bated breath for the explosion she thought was surely coming. She got the impression that it was a rare day someone said 'no' to Miranda. But she had been more concerned about the meltdown, and wanted to get to the bottom of it before they got too carried away. Thankfully, there was no explosion, and Miranda had simply hidden her face in Traynor's neck while she spoke quietly._

 _"_ _I'm sorry. It's a distraction technique I learned long ago. Tempt someone with something they enjoy, and they tend to forget they asked you a question in the first place. Especially in this case, when I want to avoid explaining to someone why I am dropping off the grid for God knows how long, and potentially not coming back at all."_

 _Traynor had blinked a couple times, processing what Miranda had just said to her._

 _"_ _Wait… you were trying to tempt me with sex so that you didn't have to tell me you're going gallivanting across the galaxy to play heroine? That's a compliment and an insult all rolled into one I think." Traynor had said, but there was no malice in her words._

 _"_ _I hadn't meant to insinuate…"_

 _"_ _It's alright, Miranda. I didn't take offense. Just tell me what's going on."_

Traynor shook her head at the memory. She had managed to coax an answer out of Miranda, even if that answer had come in the form of clothes being shed individually. Traynor smirked at that memory. It had been like strip poker, except with questions and answers.

"It's on the QEC?" Traynor clarifies, pushing the memory back where it wouldn't distract her.

"That is correct."

"Um… can I use that for personal calls?"

"Technically no, however Miranda Lawson has dedicated access to the QEC as per Commander Shepard."

"Good enough for me, EDI. Thanks. I'll hobble my way back there."

Traynor makes her way to the QEC, Campbell and Westmoreland barely acknowledging her, both of them a pale colour that suggests to Traynor they had also not fared well at Tali's celebration the night before. With her coffee cup as her steadfast companion, Traynor makes her way into the QEC, and presses the button to allow the call to come through.

* * *

o.o.o

"Garrus, you there?"

"Can it wait for a bit, Joker? I'm in the middle of some calibrations."

"Of course you are. Y'know, one day someone is going to take that to mean something completely different. Especially now that you and Tali are all lovey dovey."

"I'm not sure I know what you're referring to, flight lieutenant."

"Uh huh. But seriously, it can't wait for a bit. I need you up here."

Garrus sighs, and places his calibration tool down on his workbench. He has been trying for the past hour to see if he can improve the weapons systems by even .1 percent, but has so far been unsuccessful. He thinks that perhaps a distraction might do the trick, as he makes his way up to the bridge.

The walk through the CIC is a quiet one, and he actually has to check his omni-tool to confirm the time. Normally at this hour, it was buzzing with people and energy, orders flying around as a destination is set, or intel is received. And usually, the ever-present figure of Commander Shepard is at the galaxy map, requesting information or suggesting alternate flight paths. But today, even though the CIC had the same amount of crew occupying the space as every other day, it was dead silent. Garrus laughs to himself, wondering how humans made it this far if they couldn't even hold their alcohol.

Garrus arrives in the cockpit moments later, as Joker turns his chair around to face him.

"You called, oh graceful master of the skies?"

"Ha, funny. I should get that title put in the official Alliance records. Although unless I'm flying, there's nothing graceful about me. But listen, I need to ask you a favour." Joker responds, his face changing from an expression of humour to seriousness.

"What is it?"

"Just… keep an eye on Shepard. I ran her suit data this morning, and things are not looking good. EDI says her stress levels are higher than they were at Torfan. Torfan, Garrus. Where her whole life basically went to hell in a hand basket. I get that our current circumstances are way more stressful, in theory, but in this case Shepard has a bunch of people to rely on. She didn't have anyone at Torfan."

"So she's bottling it all up."

"Yeah. I mean, this is all completely off the record. I can't formally ask you to keep tabs on a superior officer. But she's more than that to you. To all of us. She's a friend, and she's in trouble. Whether she admits it or not."

Garrus watches Joker as he speaks, knowing that his request was coming from a place of genuine concern. He has noticed a marked decline in Shepard's 'bullshit tolerance capacity', as she calls it. She's even more quick to anger than usual, and Garrus had initially chalked that down to the demands being made of her. But the more he watched her, the less sure of that he became. Her friends were dying around her. People she could once count on held her at gunpoint. Entire races were asking her to solve their problems. This mission to stop the Reapers was quickly changing to one where Shepard provides solutions to a threat that isn't even the real one. Two and a half years ago, the biggest problem they faced was getting the Council to believe the Reaper threat was real. Now, Shepard is basically holding the galaxy on her shoulders, hoping to keep it balanced.

"I'll do my best, Joker. If that means I take her out for an afternoon at the shooting range to clear her head, that's what we'll do. I wonder how she feels about gun shopping?"

"I'd say she'd feel pretty ok about that. Thanks Garrus. You're the only other one she confides in, or speaks to regularly. Don't ask how I know that. I figured between you and Liara, we might be able to see some of our old Commander back again. You know… the one who had me disconnect practically all her conference calls with the Council."

"Or the one who stole the Normandy and laughed about it. In hindsight, she probably would have made a great pirate."

Joker laughs in response, and Garrus flicks his mandibles in amusement.

"Don't worry Joker. We'll get her back."

* * *

o.o.o

Javik was unimpressed. He frequently found himself in this state of disgust since being awoken to find his galaxy involved in war once again. Fifty thousand years after falling asleep, and he was once again faced with Reapers. As if to add insult to injury, he was also at the mercy of the primitives of his cycle. He found it disconcerting that they were involved in space travel and governance. He found it even more unsettling that they were also harmoniously working with each other, even though it appeared as though each individual species would rather go it alone. Humans fought amongst humans for power and prestige. Quarians stupidly involved themselves with AI technology, and ended up paying the ultimate price for it. Salarians thought they were the most brilliant things to ever grace the galactic stage. The asari were high and mighty, lording their cultural prowess over everyone. Turians and krogan, battle hardened and vicious as they are, were still nothing but chest pounders. It was because of this foul mood that Javik felt the need to spread it, just like the fires that were spreading on thousands of worlds.

He hadn't intended to come across the jumpy quarian, but sensing that she was suffering the ill-effects of alcohol, he couldn't help but stick around and prod at the wound.

"Tell me again, quarian, why you and the rest of this crew felt the need to consume that much alcohol." Javik asks as he sits across from Tali at one of the tables in the mess hall.

"Because it was a celebration, Javik. Did you and your people not celebrate monumental occasions?" Tali responded half-heartedly. "In retrospect, I probably shouldn't have had that much to drink."

"It is obvious that your weakened immune systems cannot handle the additional toxins. And to answer your question, no. We did not celebrate, because there was nothing to celebrate."

"There are lots of things to celebrate now. We are all working together to defeat the Reapers. That alone is a big step for all of us." Tali responds, taking a sip of her tea through the straw.

"In my cycle, there was no option for other races to decide if they would join us. They were told to help, and they did. Otherwise, they would have been left to face the Reapers alone."

Javik watches the quarian, noting how her body language is one of pure discomfort, as her head turns slowly while she looks for a distraction. He then feels the presence of someone else, and knows that within moments, the turian will be down here. He can smell his pheromones all over the quarian, and does not attempt hide his disgust at the pairing.

"Yes, well, our cycle is different." Tali replies shortly.

"I find it amusing, quarian, that even though you have just regained the home world you stupidly lost, you find the need to remain here, no doubt so you can continue whatever it is you have started with the turian."

Javik can feel the quarian getting upset, but he doesn't care. He wants to goad a reaction out of her, he wants her to realize that all that matters is stopping the Reapers, not some simple tryst that is bound to end badly. It is then that the turian enters the mess hall, and Javik can feel the anger radiating off him.

"Hey, Javik, can you stop being an ass for once? Who pissed in your coffee this morning." Garrus asks as he walks up to stand behind Tali. Javik is instantly reminded of Shepard, and notes that what the turian has just said to him, is strikingly similar to what Shepard would have said to him as well. He watches the quarian stand up, and with a final glare from the turian, the two walk away towards the observation lounge.

Javik sits for a moment longer, feeling his mood improve. He was certain that none of the crew liked him, but he did not care for such things. He was alive for one reason, and that reason was still out there. It did not matter to him if he didn't have primitive friends. As he sits alone in a quiet mess hall, he can feel the minute tremor of perception that Shepard has woken up. He can feel her presence like a charging brute, all force and anger. He decides now is a good time to leave, and he casually saunters back down towards his quarters.


	52. Bullet Proof I Wish I Was

A/N: So just a short one this evening. I apparently have come down with some stupid thing called uveitis. It means that it hurts to look at my computer screen. Or play video games. Or do anything involving my eyeballs. This, my lovely readers, is why I've not been posting chapters that frequently! Fortunately, it's going away, so I'll be able to post some longer chapters pretty soon.

In the meantime, here is this for you!

* * *

"So, Lola. You know her?"

"Yeah. Samara. She was part of my crew during our mission to take down the Collectors."

"She must be pretty badass to have negotiated all these Reaper troops alone. It's a gong show in here."

"She is pretty badass, James." Shepard supplies, signaling a halt. James and Liara stop abruptly behind their commander, and Shepard takes a moment to review the map of the monastery on her omni-tool. Samara had indicated that they meet her in a place called the Great Hall, and Shepard was eager to find it, detonate the bomb, and get out. Something about this monastery was off. She kept hearing a high-pitched wail, from some unseen abomination the Reapers have created, and it was unsettling. She half expected something to jump out at her from the shadows. She could feel that Liara was uneasy as well, which was just fueling her own discomfort.

With the nav-point established, the trio continue moving through the barren halls. Blood of varying colours painted the once-pristine floor, and the path to the Great Hall was darkened due to lack of power. Windows have been broken, walls smashed, and bullet holes littered every surface. There were shadows everywhere, and Shepard worked to keep her breathing steady. She knew that if she loses focus, it could mean death for any one of them. She couldn't help picturing a husk, or a cannibal, or even whatever was screaming crawling out from under a broken wall, and the thought made her shiver. It wasn't until they were back outside, breathing in the cold mountain air, that she felt herself calm down. Out in the open, she had escape routes, cover, places to position her squad. She didn't need to worry about being boxed in, stuck in a dark hallway while husks grabbed at her ankles.

"Lola?"

"What?" Shepard replies, subconsciously looking down to confirm there was nothing reaching for her.

"Just a thought: why couldn't the asari handle this? This is one of their monasteries, right? They need us to swoop in and save the day?"

"Asari High Command sent in a group of asari commando's. They thought the threat had been dealt with; I suspect they have no idea the situation was this bad." Liara replies quietly, looking up at the architecture that formed the once beautiful house of peace and refuge. Shepard watches Liara's emotions cross her face, as clear to her as if Liara was speaking them aloud. Sadness darkened her eyes, a mournful expression of grief and loss as her lover processed the thought of a multitude of peace-seeking asari were brutally murdered in their own sanctuary. Innocent victims in a war they wanted no part of, they were systematically destroyed. What Shepard found curious though, was that they had not come across any bodies. She empathized with Liara. She understood what it was like to witness the destruction of innocence. But something was off, and the cloud of menace she felt building was overshadowing her ability to provide comfort.

"Yeah, well it's probably going to get worse if we don't get a move on. We need to find that bomb and blow this place up. It's giving me the creeps."

As they navigate to the bottom of a long, sweeping staircase, Shepard feels goose bumps creep across her skin, as the hair on the back of her neck stands on end. She turns to face the middle of the courtyard, the delicate pathway leading to the doors of what she assumes is the Great Hall. She feels James and Liara come to a stop beside her, and the tension is palpable. It was as though the air was still, the same stillness that was present right before a thunderstorm. Electricity charged air surrounding her, a calm before the chaos of the storm.

"Something is really wrong here." James says as he scans the area for any sign of movement.

"Of course there is. I'm still on this fucking planet, instead of on my ship drinking a beer." She says, anxiety, fear, and irritation edging into her voice.

Shepard takes a tentative step forward, and the air explodes with a visceral scream. The same high pitched wail they had been hearing was no longer a distant sound. It was on a balcony above them, and it was coming from the foulest Reaper creature Shepard had yet seen. It takes a surprising amount of strength for Shepard to not cringe at the sound, and she instead shoves Liara to cover as she scrambles to the ground beside her.

"James! Throw a grenade at that damn thing! HUD reading high barriers and strong armour, so work away at those. Liara, throw in a warp for me." Shepard barks as her visor processes what's in front of her. Unsurprisingly, her HUD could only provide a question mark beside the species category, but it did let her know that it was organic and synthetic, and Shepard herself filled in the blanks. She knew it was an adulterated asari, and she figured out it was able to charge by the way it warped itself from the balcony to the ground to almost on top of them. It was only James' frag grenade that finally slowed it down, its aggression diverted to him instead of jumping towards herself and Liara.

It was then that Shepard made a mistake. Her usual tactic of 'charge and fire' has served her well for years, and even though the now faded bruising on her face was an indication that some enemies might be too powerful, she counted that a rarity. But it wasn't until her charge was over, and her biotics slammed against the grotesque body of the mutilated asari, that she realized it had claws.

She fired a round into its distended belly, its screams now ear-piercingly close. It reached forward with a menacing arm, intent on driving it right through her body. Shepard reacted marginally faster, and dodged to the side, but not before the creature had a chance to swing, its claws raking their way right through Shepard's barriers and a portion of her armour. She felt the familiar sting of torn flesh as she quickly backed away, finding the closest cover. Another grenade exploded, and the asari let out one final scream before falling to the ground, crying out as if in pain.

"Dios, Commander are you ok?" James asks as he makes his way to Shepard's side. She feels lightheaded, and her visor chirps a warning that she's losing more than the allowable amount of blood. She looks down at her right side, and notices the rivulets of blood making their way down her hip and leg. She mentally curses herself for her idiocy. She knows better; years of Alliance training have taught her to exercise caution when facing an unknown enemy, but instead she had thrown herself right in front of an unknown enemy. _Twice in one week, Shep. Chakwas is going to be pissed._

"Yeah, I'm fine." She replies as she administers a dose of medi-gel. The bleeding stops almost immediately, the medi-gel forming a second skin over the wound. James watches her skeptically, a frown forming on his face.

"Listen, we can radio the Normandy, get some more marines down here so you can…"

"I said I'm fine, lieutenant. Let's just finish this fucking show, shall we?" she says with a glare. It is only then that she realizes Liara is not with them. Panic rises in her chest, and she curses herself again for her stupidity. _What if that thing blasted Liara with biotics, and she's unconscious somewhere? I just left her to get my stupid ass hurt. Fuck, she better be ok._

"Liara!" Shepard calls out, waiting for the reply. Silence follows, and her anxiety grows. Once she confirms there are no other hostiles surrounding them, she stands up and makes her way back to the bottom of the stairs. She finds Liara still tucked behind the same cover she had pushed her into, shaking and sobbing.

"God, Li. What happened? Are you ok?" Shepard asks anxiously, her brain switching from commander to partner. She kneels in front of Liara, but there's no response. A vacant, terrified look is resting on Liara's face as she huddles into herself, crying silently. Shepard inches closer, taking up Liara's entire field of vision. Still there is no acknowledgement. Shepard runs a scan with her omni-tool, the results advising that Liara is not physically injured. She also notices there are no spent thermal clips anywhere to be seen. It is then she realizes that Liara hadn't been part of that fight at all; she was in shock, and had been from the get-go.

"Cortez, what's your situation?"

"Waiting at the entrance of the monastery, Commander."

"I need a pick up at my coordinates, ASAP. Get Joker on the comm and get him to send the second shuttle down with Garrus and Kaidan in it. I need backup."

"Yes ma'am."

Shepard feels a wave of nausea, and knows that her wound needs to be tended to. But the scared feeling she has for Liara outweighs the pain, and she is momentarily torn. She needs to finish this mission. The bomb needs to be set, and the monastery needs to be destroyed. But by doing that, she's sending Liara back to the ship by herself, and if she snaps out of it and sees that Shepard isn't there, it might cause her to panic more.

 _Just once, I'd like things to go smoothly._

"Orders, Commander?" James asks quietly.

"We wait here until Garrus and Kaidan show up, and then we finish what we started."

Moments later, Shepard watches as Cortez lifts off, taking Liara back to the Normandy alone.


	53. Paper Swans

A/N: And... I'm back. /impromptu hiatus. Turns out my eye issue is something much more serious. When faced with news that is literally life altering, it becomes difficult to find the energy or motivation to write. But the show must go on! If I have anything, it's this story, and all you wonderful people who read it every time I post something new. Thank you for giving me the will to do so. Chapters might be sporadic over the next little bit, but I promise that if the time comes where I need to stop writing, I will give you all a heads up.

Thank you for your reviews, follows, and favourites. It really does make my day to see that someone else is enjoying Cora Shepard as much as I am. Please feel free to send me a message or review a chapter if you have any questions, feedback, or requests!

* * *

"Are we done here, Doc? Because I've got about a million things to take care of. My girlfriend being one of them."

"Almost there, Shepard. I'm just waiting for the final diagnostic on your puncture wound and then you are free. There doesn't appear to be any abnormalities, but I'd still like to take a sample and send it off to Huerta Memorial for a more complete analysis. We don't know what that abomination might've exposed you to."

Shepard lay in the med-bay, her right side exposed to Chakwas. As predicted, the doctor had been less than impressed when Shepard had finally managed to make her way to the med-bay. Concerned hands had helped Shepard out of her armour, a litany of rebukes falling from Major Chakwas' lips. Shepard glanced down at her side, noting the wound was already less of an angry red colour, and it was significantly less painful. Shepard sighed and looked up at the ceiling, running the debrief through her head again. She had yet to report in with Hackett, and it was priority number one once she was finally free of her current confines. She started making a mental check-list; an all too familiar pattern that ensured she knew what was going on with her crew and officers, and also to ensure that they knew what the situation was. Joker would come after Hackett, followed by Garrus and Kaidan, then maybe Javik…

"Alright, you're free to go Commander. The wound is going to be quite tender over the next day or so, so do try to keep your activities light. Perhaps no sparring with Lieutenant Vega this evening?"

"You're no fun." Shepard replies with a pout.

"Yes, well, you're no fun when you're in pain. Which you will be if you don't listen to me." Chakwas replies, cocking an eyebrow at Shepard.

"Fine. No sparring with James tonight." Shepard says with mock petulance as she sits up and puts her shirt back on. "I wonder if Wrex is free? We can take a detour to Tuchanka."

"I think even the great Urdnot Wrex wouldn't dare contradict my orders Commander, and you know it." Chakwas provides with a smile for her friend. Shepard returns the smile, and stands up from the bed.

"Don't worry Doc, I'll be good." Shepard says with a wink before exiting the med-bay. Once in the mess hall, she glances towards Liara's door. Chakwas had mentioned that Cortez had brought Liara up here once she was back onboard, and that her shock seemed to have died down. Chakwas had given Liara some sleep aids, electrolytes, and strict orders to go to her quarters and sleep. Shepard still hasn't seen Liara, but duty wins out. She knows that if she goes in there first, she won't be coming out for hours. With a frown, Shepard heads towards the elevator.

* * *

o.o.o

Staring out at the vast expanse of space, watching the red, yellow, and blue lights of distant stars float past, provided Kaidan with a quiet comfort. He found he could spend hours watching the stars move past, often forgetting about his expense reports, or duty rosters. He was thankful for the distraction this evening. With his Spectre reports complete, and his duty rosters filed, he found himself with little else to do except for think about the haunting sound of the banshee's scream as it burrowed into his head. Lesuss had been horrifying. By the time he and Garrus had landed, Liara was long gone, and Shepard was pacing impatiently as James looked on. It wasn't until he encountered two of the Reaper creatures, following slowly behind a wave of husks, did he understand fully why Liara was not here any longer. Her people had been turned into something disgusting; tall, grotesque beasts that screamed horrifically. He was thankful that Liara didn't have to witness watching Rila get killed by one of them. James had nick-named them Banshee's, and Kaidan had thought it was fitting. Hours later, and he could still hear the keening wail of impending death.

He shivers just as the door opens, and he turns slightly to watch Shepard walk in. He notices that she's already out of uniform, no doubt at Chakwas' behest. Her gray track pants worn low on her hips, and her almost iconic N7 hoodie practically embodied comfort. He momentarily wonders if she gave her debrief to Hackett wearing that, but he knows his commander well. She could be mouthy, hard-headed, and stubborn with military officials that outranked her, but she was blue blooded through and through. He was fairly certain that protocol and military tradition were the only things keeping Shepard going, and knew that she took debriefs seriously.

"Hey Kaidan."

"Hey Shepard. Feeling better?"

"Yeah, Chakwas fixed me up. I'm gonna be sore for a bit, but that's nothing new." She replies as she stands beside Kaidan. A few moments pass, both marines watching the endless stars move past the viewing window. Kaidan hazards a glance at Shepard, and notices that she looks exhausted. Her already small frame looked even smaller, months of non-stop fighting, both politically and militarily, taking their toll. He wonders if she even gets four hours of sleep a night, or at least one decent meal during the day.

"Heard from your mom?" Shepard asks quietly, her green eyes catching Kaidan's. For a brief moment, he can see the actual woman, and not the figurehead that Commander Shepard has become. There's a genuine concern written on her face, and a keen hope that he's been able to make contact. His heart feels heavy at the mention of his mom, and he knows she's on Earth, completely alone.

"No, nothing in the last few days. Last time I talked to her, she had made it to a refugee camp that the Alliance had set up. I guess the plan is to find as many survivors as possible, and bring them over to the Citadel. It'll be the first time my mom will have gotten off-world, and it's because of this damn war." Kaidan responds sadly. "She's all alone in this. My dad is MIA, I'm here on the Normandy... And my mom is with hundreds of refugees, being herded like cattle to a space station that has no room for them."

"There's no where else they can go?"

"I think the Alliance is trying to find somewhere, but the Reapers have pretty much destroyed everything. I keep hearing rumours of this Sanctuary place. Maybe I'll see if I can work out a way to get her a room there."

"A safe haven is becoming a rare resource, but I'm sure you'll work something out."

Kaidan watches as Shepard turns her attention back to space, undoubtedly thinking of her own mom. The difference though was that Hannah Shepard was safe and sound, her ship providing escort to Hackett's own fleet. The Fifth fleet was practically untouchable, hidden so far out that not even the Reapers would find them any time soon. It seemed to most people in the Alliance that it was the safest place to be in the entire galaxy.

"Anyways, I just wanted to know if there's anything you needed from me. I'm signing off for eight hours, and we're heading to the Citadel. The asari councillor wants to talk to me about something." Shepard interjected into Kaidan's thoughts. Her command voice was back, and the woman had disappeared.

"I'm good Shepard. Nothing to report on my end, though I'm glad we're stopping at the Citadel. If we're there for a bit, my guys could use a couple hours off the ship."

"Yeah, I can give them four hours. I wish it was more, but that's all we can afford right now."

"That's understandable. I'll send the message right now. Thanks Shepard."

* * *

o.o.o

For the first time since coming aboard, Liara's room was dark and silent. The monitors were turned off; the constant humming of terminals was non-existent. Even Glyph was powered down, his usual greeting not provided when Shepard entered the room. She was so used to the lights, it actually made her a little uncomfortable to be in the almost total blackness. The only light came from a small night-light tucked beside one of the curtains that sectioned off Liara's bed from her office space. Shepard could make out the small form of Liara buried under her covers, and chided herself for not coming sooner. The debrief with Hackett took longer than she anticipated. She had bypassed Javik altogether, instead deciding on speaking to Allers for a bit. After an impromptu interview, Shepard had actually wished she had chosen Javik. Almost four hours have passed since leaving Lesuss, and Shepard felt a pang of guilt in not being able to speak to Liara while she was still awake.

She makes her way to Liara's bed, her instincts helping guide her away from any item that would stub her toes. With a mental high-five to herself at remaining uninjured, she gently crawls into bed beside Liara. Her side protests marginally, but she's able to ignore the sensation as she wraps her arm around Liara's waist. She feels Liara stir, and she subconsciously moves backwards, her back pressed tight against Shepard's chest.

"Why did you wait so long to find me?" comes the quiet whisper from Liara. Shepard can hear the despair in her voice, and knows she shouldn't have waited so long.

"Sorry Li. The debrief took way longer than I thought. Then I had to check in with Garrus and Kaidan. Joker needed to talk to me about some maintenance stuff…" Shepard says, trailing off as she places a kiss on the back of Liara's neck.

Silence falls again, and Liara presses backwards further. Shepard clenches her jaw, the jolt of arousal completely unexpected. _Now is REALLY not the time._

"I thought that perhaps you were avoiding me. You were fairly quick to send me away."

"You think I wanted you to go?" Shepard asks incredulously, feeling her body grow still. The last emotion she anticipated coming from Liara was anger, but she could hear it simmering below the surface.

"Your actions clearly stated your intentions. I doubt I'll be able to hold a conversation with Cortez now, after trying to order him to turn the shuttle around once I finally snapped out of it. He must think I have gone completely mad.

"You were in shock. What the hell else was I going to do? Let you sit there by yourself? Protocol for people in shock…"

"It's always about protocol with you, Cora." Liara says as she moves away, sitting up to face Shepard in one swift movement. The anger was surfacing so quickly that Shepard was finding herself unable to react fast enough. Moments ago, Liara was comfortably pressing her backside into a decidedly sensitive area, and now suddenly Shepard found herself in the middle of a storm. "I wish that for once you would see that protocol doesn't always make things easier. You've been on this ship for four hours, after having sent me away because I was witnessing the destruction of my species, and I'm the last one you come to see?" Liara finishes in an angry whisper. Shepard's defense quickly arrives on her tongue, and before she can think, the words are tumbling out.

"This is a military vessel, and I am a military officer. How the fuck do you expect me to run this ship? You know that I have reports to file and debriefs to hold. What am I supposed to do, tell Hackett to fucking wait while I spend the rest of the night consoling you?"

The moment the words were uttered, Shepard knew they should not have been. Even though she knew she hadn't meant to sound callous, she had achieved exactly that. She could feel the shift in the air, feel the anger and hurt permeating the space between them. She could feel the distance grow, and knew she needed to close the gap.

"Shit, Li, I'm sorry. I didn't mean…"

"Don't. If I mean that little to you, that you would rather hold fast and true to your procedures than lower yourself to consoling me, don't even bother apologizing. What I saw today I will carry with me for the rest of my life. I needed you, and you cast me away." Liara says, and she moves to stand up. Shepard watches in confusion as Liara swiftly finds her discarded clothes, and she realizes that Liara's intent is to leave.

"Where are you going."

"Anywhere but here."

"Would you just stop for a second? What the fuck. How are you this angry at me?"

Shepard sees the dim outline of Liara as she stands in front of the window, her body making a silhouette of the stars. She moves slowly, sitting up slightly and reaching for Liara's hand. Surprisingly, Liara doesn't brush her away, and she allows the contact as Shepard twines her fingers with Liara's.

"That could have been me." Liara says quietly.

"What did you say?"

"Those monsters that the Reapers created. They were Ardat-Yakshi. It's a genetic condition only found in pure-blood asari. If they had gotten me… they could have turned me." Liara replies as Shepard gently pulls her back down to the bed. Shepard feels herself go cold, followed by incredibly angry. She hasn't had a chance yet to do anything in terms of research as to what the creatures are. Clearly though, Liara has.

"They wouldn't have turned you. If you think I would have let you get close enough to one of those things, you are mistaken." Shepard says, guiding Liara down beside her.

They are both quiet for a moment, and Shepard slowly runs her hand down Liara's back, resting her cheek on her crest. The thought of Liara turning into one of those banshee's has Shepard's blood run cold, a determined anger presenting itself in the form of fierce protectiveness.

"I'm angry at myself, not at you. I shouldn't have crumbled like that. I should have fought with you and James. Instead I fell and became nothing but a burden. I understand your protocol. I know this is a military vessel and that you have your orders. It was just… terrifying. It seems as though every encounter with the Reapers produces another vicious psychological attack."

"I know. If I wasn't used to them, husks would terrify the shit out of me. Sometimes I forget that not everyone is as jaded as I am. I just assume the Reapers will take everything that's good and pure in this galaxy, and turn it into a monstrosity. You, my love, are much more optimistic. I have no doubt that seeing your own kind turned into that mess was chilling." Shepard replies, watching a bright blue star move past the window. She feels the sudden softness of Liara's lips on her neck as chills ripple down her spine. Liara's lips are at her ear seconds later.

"Please make me forget."

Shepard isn't given a chance to respond before Liara's lips are on her own, the soft, slow kiss gradually erasing all other thoughts from Shepard's mind. She can sense the need Liara has to move on, to forget, to process the terrible things she had seen today. As she brings her hand up to the back of Liara's neck, she can feel her own need of the same things. The desire to be lost in someone else's love, to be enveloped by something that isn't distressing, or threatening to kill her. Shepard moves, gently pinning Liara underneath her body, savouring the deep kiss that Liara had started. Liara's hands gently graze up Shepard's sides in an effort to remove her shirt, and Shepard registers the brief pain, but disregards it as she feels the soft hands of her lover touch her back.

Shepard feels Liara's legs move to hold onto her hips, and she breaks the kiss slowly, trailing her hand down Liara's side, down to her leg.

"Don't send me away again, please." Liara pleads quietly as she pulls Shepard's forehead to her own.

"I promise. I love you."

"I love you too. Embrace eternity."


	54. Mirage

To: S. Traynor  
From: [ENCRYPTED]  
Subject: Sorry.

Sam,

I'm not very good at these things, so I apologize if this isn't romantic or endearing. I know we've already said our goodbyes, and I'm sure you're regretting even trying this in the first place; it isn't very fair of me to disappear at a time like this, but I have no choice. I hope you understand.

This might be the last time you'll hear from me. If my suspicions are correct, I am going to be walking into a hell created by my father. I know he has my sister, and I hope I'm going to make it before he has a chance to make good on his dynastic promises. If he's hurt her, I'll kill him.

I need you to know that there are very few people in this galaxy I care for. I'm glad that most of them are on the same ship, as safe and secure as they can be while taking out the monsters of the galaxy. Take care of her, Sam. She's been through too much, and she has the weight of millions on her shoulders.

I should have said this before, and I'm sorry I didn't, but I love you. Please, take care. If I make it out of here, I'll try my best to come back to you.

Miri.

Miranda closes her omni-tool at the same moment the transport VI alerts her and the other passengers to their imminent arrival. Wiping away a tear that managed to escape, she looks around at the other passengers as they begin to shuffle anxiously through pockets and luggage for their identification cards and passport papers. Parents are helping children secure their cards around their necks so they don't get lost, little faces looking around in curiosity or nervousness. Miranda notices one little girl clutching on to a teddy bear for dear life, as her mother straightens a pink bow on her head. Stress and emotional wear are evident on every single adult in the transport, as well as a palpable feeling of relief at being able to find a refuge in a galaxy torn by war. Miranda has no illusion of safety; the two-day trip to the Iera system has only helped solidify in her mind that this transport was heading to a final destination that these people weren't aware of.

She has overheard bits and pieces of conversation throughout the trip. Most people were here on borrowed money. Friends and relatives loaning them the credits so that they might be safe. Parents sending their children away for their own safety while they remain on Earth, Palaven, Thessia. The general consensus though, was that it was remarkably easy to arrange a seat and to reserve a room. Most people see it as a blessing, but Miranda knows it is no such thing. No organization is going to offer hot food, safety, and peace of mind for an undetermined amount of time, for a one-time payment of merely six thousand credits. No corporation, in a time of war, would be willing to do that on such a massive scale.

Unless that corporation was Cerberus. She knows the organization, and the CEO, all too well. The Illusive Man would see a return on his investment, and these people would not be here if they knew what that would be.

Glancing out the window, Miranda watches as a moderately-sized space station comes into view. According to her itinerary, all refugees are required to register at this station prior to moving on to Horizon. The reasoning provided was that it was easier to start registration here, in order to reduce long wait times once they arrived at Sanctuary. Miranda knows it's a ruse; people would be held and processed, ID cards checked and funds cleared. Undesirables weeded out, ensuring there are no spies or informants attempting to gain access. Anyone with particularly special talents would be 'upgraded to a separate division' of Sanctuary. Miranda knows that the Illusive Man won't pass up scientists, engineers, or any person with a talent he can exploit. She'd seen it before, a hundred times. The interview process for Cerberus is an arduous one.

Half an hour later, Miranda walks along the pristine corridors of the station, following alongside dozens of other people. The halls look familiar, the infrastructure one that she is used to. The station they are on is a Cerberus facility, she'd bet her last credit on it. She's thankful then that she took precautions before even attempting to gain passage on the ship. She's coloured her hair a deep red and has tied it into a pony tail, and contacts have made her eyes green. She's put aside her cat-suit in favour of jeans and a hoodie that is too big for her as she attempts to make herself blend in by hiding her physical assets. Her goal has been to look as normal as possible. If she weren't at risk of being caught and executed, she'd actually enjoy her time as a red-head. She feels her heart break slightly at the thought of Sam chiding her, in jest of course, for her change in hair colour, and can just picture the look on the comm specialists' face. A small smile creeps over her lips, until she remembers that this might be a one-way trip. Miranda reminds herself that it very well could end here if she wasn't careful.

Miranda soon finds herself next in line at the registration booth, a well groomed young man checking people in. Miranda breathes a sigh of relief; she doesn't recognize him, so her chances of success just increased. The woman in front of her is cleared to proceed, and the young man smiles warmly at Miranda as she approaches.

"Identification card and passport papers please miss."

Miranda hands the documents over without a word, and the young man begins typing her information into the computer.

"Miss Kate Chapman, welcome. Where are you coming in from?"

"Earth."

"Ah yes, it says here on your paperwork that you're from the United North American States. Heard it got pretty rough there. Rest assured, you will be well looked after here."

Miranda smiles politely as the young man continues his typing, glancing down every once in a while at the information Miranda has provided. She wills herself to remain calm; she knows the documents are rock solid, she had paid a small fortune to ensure they would pass the tough screening she knew she would encounter. After a few moments, the young man hands her the identification card and paperwork.

"Thank you for your patience, Miss Chapman. If you will follow the signs to your left, one of our staff will show you to your temporary room. Your next scheduled flight will be in three days' time, where you will be on your way to safety and security. And once again, welcome to Sanctuary."

* * *

o.o.o

Shepard was irritated. Her ribs hurt, she hadn't had a coffee yet, and she was stuck waiting in line. She'd been waiting for what felt like a century, and wondered to herself if a private docking bay meant anything anymore. It was all well and good to be allowed to dock at a moments notice, but what was the point when you had to wait just to get on the elevator? The Normandy sat quietly in her docking clamps, most of the crew disembarked and attempting to enjoy a few hours of freedom, and Shepard grew more and more irritated with each passing second. Liara stood patiently at her elbow, her hands folded in front of her as she calmly watched the people around them. Shepard noted with even more irritation that the waiting didn't seem to have any impact on Liara whatsoever. She looked as calm and poised as ever. Shepard frowns as she looks from Liara back to the elevator, noticing that the line still hadn't moved.

"I'm going to kill something." She mutters quietly.

"Shepard, you cannot kill something. Goddess, we've been waiting for five minutes."

"It's gotta be a hell of a lot longer than that. Seriously, what genius thought only one elevator at a docking bay was a good idea."

"Well, next time you speak with Harbinger, perhaps you could ask why it designed the Citadel the way it did."

"Very funny."

Shepard watches the corner of Liara's mouth turn up with a smile, and she's pleased to see that Liara looks much better than she had two days ago. Shepard had taken the day after Lesuss off, and they had spent most of that day hiding away in Liara's room. Shepard had felt the threads of their bond being strained, and knew that if they hadn't taken a day to themselves, it would have gotten worse. Liara was now back to her cool, confident self, and Shepard was still just irritated.

"That's it. We're not waiting here anymore." Shepard grabs Liara's hand in the same moment Liara gives her a questioning look. She then starts moving towards the elevator, gently but firmly pushing people out of the way.

"Spectre coming through. I've got important Spectre stuff to take care of. I am authorized to use lethal force. Please move away from the elevator."

Civilians and military people alike quickly move out of the way, and Shepard smiles to herself as she notices the disgruntled looks she is fielding. In seconds, she is leading Liara into a now vacant elevator, pressing the button for deck three as the stunned looks of dozens of people vanish behind the closing doors.

"Shepard!" Liara exclaims, slapping her lover gently on her arm.

"What? I never get to pull the Spectre card."

"Because you shouldn't! They were there before us."

"Yeah, well. They aren't going toe-to-toe with Reapers. Or killing husks by the dozens. Or getting shot at by Cerberus. Or dealing with everyone's problems. I should have my own damn elevator." Shepard replies nonchalantly with a shrug. She smiles in amusement, watching Liara do the same. She reaches out and pulls Liara into her, placing a chaste kiss on her lips.

"Also, I like the elevator better when it's just you and me in it. This is one of the slow ones too…" Shepard says, raising her eyebrow with a smile. She watches a faint blush spread across Liara's cheeks, which surprises Shepard. Liara is capable of things that would make a krogan blush if she were to talk about it. Before she can continue her train of thought, the elevator chimes and the doors open to the Embassies.

"Hm. I really thought I had a few more minutes." Shepard says with a frown as Liara slowly breaks the shared contact.

"That isn't one of the slow ones, Shepard." Liara replies with a wink as she makes her way out of the elevator.

"Damn. Well, better luck next time I suppose."

Shepard and Liara slowly make their way towards the Council offices, and Shepard notices immediately that the space is packed with people from various species. The coup had increased security, and as more and more worlds fell victim to the Reapers, more people were coming here to petition the Council for aid. Most of the requests were falling on deaf ears; the Council had a thousand problems and no way to solve any of them. Shepard herself had helped the situation on Palaven, but there was only so much that could be done. Only Thessia still hadn't felt the immediate effects of the Reapers, but they would be closing in soon.

They arrive at Udina's old office, C-Sec personnel still combing through mountains of data and endless paperwork in order to find a shred of information. Councillor Tevos was overseeing the process, and Shepard immediately notices the look of concern and stress on the councillors face. Shepard has spent years speaking with the council, years of denied threats and quelled investigations. But she has never seen Tevos look as nervous as she does now.

"Commander Shepard, Doctor T'Soni, thank you for joining me. I have information for you that might help your Crucible project." She says once Shepard approaches.

"It should be considered _our_ Crucible project, considering the asari are now assisting, Councillor." Liara says by way of greeting. Shepard notices that Liara's demeanor has changed to one she's not witnessed before. She's holding her head higher as though she regards Tevos an equal, not as someone who holds a superior position.

"Yes, I suppose you are correct, though I wish we could devote more resources to it. The situation on Thessia is growing dire." Tevos responds, now turning her attention towards Shepard. There is a look of anxiety in her eyes that Shepard cannot ignore. Though the Council has been a thorn in her side from day one, Shepard always preferred working with the asari councillor. She was straightforward and honest, and Shepard could tolerate her much longer than she could Sparatus.

"Have the Reapers landed?" Shepard asks.

"No, however we are receiving reports of Reaper contact on some of our colonies, and of course Lesuss. We are aware that you are missing a key component for the Crucible, and I feel that it is time that you be made aware of it."

"Wait, you have information on the Catalyst?" Shepard asks incredulously. Tevos nods shortly, and directs Liara and Shepard towards the balcony overlooking the lakes of the Presidium. Shepard can almost feel Liara processing, attempting to piece together what it is Tevos could be referring to.

"Not exactly, but there is an artifact on Thessia known only to the highest levels of my government. The Matriarchs have worked hard to ensure no one knows of it."

"I've not heard of any artifact on our home world. Benezia never spoke of such a thing, and given my profession, I would assume she would have. What is it, Councillor?" Liara asks, her interest piqued.

"Lady Benezia was sworn to secrecy, and would not have revealed the existence of it. With any luck, it is a means to help you locate the Catalyst. I cannot tell you more about it than that. The artifact itself is located in a temple at these coordinates. I've ordered a science team to meet you there."

Tevos hands Shepard a data pad, and she scans it quickly. There is little information, and Shepard feels her frustration mounting. She knows that Tevos has known about this artifact since they started building the Crucible, and finds her anger growing over the fact that she has kept this a secret until now.

"So let me get this straight. This artifact has been there for what, thousands of years? We start building the Crucible months ago, and you damn well know we are missing the crucial component, and you only now tell me where to find it? Now that your home world is in danger? What about us, Councillor? Earth was being ravaged well before Thessia, and you turned our plea for help down. Now you're asking me to help you in your time of need?"

"Shepard…" Liara says quietly.

"You're right, Commander Shepard." Tevos interrupts, deflating most Shepard's anger immediately. "I am afraid the Council has not been as supportive of you as we should have been, and for that I apologize. In the beginning, we did not comprehend what kind of threat the Reapers would pose. I thought I would be able to keep Thessia safe, but I have failed. For the first time in our history, Thessia is vulnerable."

Shepard watches despair and anxiety cross the features of Councillor Tevos, and can feel the same emotions coming from Liara. The genuine apology was something Shepard never expected she would receive, and regards the strong, protective Tevos in a new light.

"Alright. We'll head to Thessia." Shepard says quietly with a frown, some of her anger still lingering.

"Thank you, Commander. Whether you know it or not, you've become the sole ray of hope in a very dark night. Goddess be with you." Tevos says as she places a hand on Shepard's shoulder, a look of pure relief in her eyes. Shepard nods, and she and Liara leave the office.

"I need a fucking drink."

"Well, we have a couple of hours before we leave. Let's go see if we can find my father." Liara says, before stopping and looking up at her lover. Liara's brilliant blue eyes hold a concern for her people in their depths. Despite all her bluster and anger, Shepard knows she would go to Thessia simply for the woman standing in front of her. "Thank you, Shepard." Liara says quietly, grabbing hold of Shepard's arm.

"It's all for you, babe."


	55. Soot and Stars

A/N: I know this isn't what you're all expecting, but I didn't have it in me to write the emotional roller coaster that is Thessia quite yet. It will be the next one, I promise. But for now, here's some fluff/build up.

Enjoy :)

* * *

"EDI, can you go ahead and run that diagnostic again please? I'm getting a lot of white noise."

"Of course, Jeff."

Joker watches the haptic display to his left turn yellow, signifying that the diagnostic was in progress. He frowned slightly, and opened up the previous diagnostic that was completed only ten minutes before. It was clear that something was causing a massive amount of noise, and it was blocking some of the Normandy's sensors. They were twenty minutes away from their jump into the Parnitha system, and Joker was expecting a lot more silence than what they were receiving. The first diagnostic revealed nothing of significance, and with the second one turning green and beeping quietly upon completion, a slight realization started to dawn on him.

"EDI, what would be causing this much of an auditory shit show?"

"Typically noise is common to a certain degree, most often when we are passing closely to other planets. In this instance, I would suspect that the noise is being created by something that wishes to purposely throw off our sensors."

Joker feels his heart sink. He knew the answer before he asked EDI, but he wanted to confirm. As far as they knew, Thessia was still untouched by the Reapers, and they were heading there on that pretense. Joker doubts Shepard, or Liara, knows what they are about to fly into.

"Shit. Ok. Where's Shepard right now?"

"Shepard is in Doctor T'Soni's cabin."

"Can you ask her to come up here? I think I'm about to ruin her day."

* * *

o.o.o

Shepard sits in her chair, a cup of coffee cradled gently in her hands. With her reports finished, duty rosters approved, and expense reports finalized, she now has a moment to herself. She leans back and stretches her legs out in front of her, and watches the lazy dance of the fish in her fish tank. She hears scuttling to her left, and looks up to see Boo scrabbling about in her cage, burying some peanuts that Shepard had given her. The action makes Shepard smile as she watches the furry space hamster carry on with her mission of peanut retrieval. The quiet of her room, and the blue light casted by the fish tank give off an aura of calm and peace, allowing Shepard to collect her thoughts.

Taking a sip of her coffee, she reflects on the meeting with Tevos. The councillor had been holding herself together, but there was obvious strain etched into every feature. Shepard was sure there was a lot that the asari councillor was not telling her about this artifact, but there was little she could do about it. The war was having an impact on every single person out there, and she respected Tevos' need for discretion. It meant that she was walking into the unknown, but that was not an uncommon occurrence for Shepard.

A sudden thought creeps into Shepard's mind, and she turns to face her monitor, punching in a series of numbers on the haptic screen. A few uncertain seconds later, and a voice that meant home came drifting through the monitor.

"Hannah Shepard here."

"Hey mom."

"Cora Shepard, this had better be you and not some voice recording. You haven't called me in weeks!"

"Yeah, sorry about that. Got kinda caught up in saving the galaxy. You know how it is." Shepard replies with a smile.

"Damn right you're saving the galaxy. Sure isn't anyone else out there that can do it as well as you, my girl."

"Had to be me. Someone else might've gotten it wrong." Shepard replied, a smirk forming on her lips at the irony of the statement.

"Well, even though you're perfect for the job, it's got to be taking a toll. You're eating? Drinking lots of water? Getting lots of sleep?"

"Something like that."

Shepard hears her mom sigh, in a way that only mothers do when faced with an obstinate child. It brings a smile to her face, and she can picture the look her mother is giving her, even though they are light years away from each other. She has a pang of loss flow through her heart, a childish thought of never seeing her mother again, never inhaling that familiar scent or feeling those arms as she holds her close. She can feel herself tear up, and has to push down the unwelcome feeling of loss that the thought provokes.

"Hey, mom, I don't have a lot of time… but I wanted to see how you were doing out there."

"Oh we're fine Cora. The Orizaba is safely under Hackett's command, and we're working around the clock on this project of yours. I have to say, what you've done, and what you're continuing to do is just remarkable. I'm so proud of you."

"Thanks mom."

There's a brief moment where neither of them speak, and Shepard knows her mother is either lost in thought, or is doling out orders. It isn't until her mother speaks again that she realizes it was the former.

"Remember those bed time stories we'd tell? How you'd have your own ship and your own crew, and you'd always swoop in to save the day? Never once did you falter or doubt in your heart of hearts that it was what you wanted. You're a protector, Cora. People look to you; not just because you get things done, but because they believe in you. I know you have days where you think there's no point. No one in this damn galaxy says thank you for anything. But you do it anyways. There's a reason Anderson and Hackett trust you with things that should only fall to a higher ranking officer. But that's besides the point. You stay strong for me out there, ok?" Hannah says, her voice cracking a little. Shepard has to stop herself from breaking down as she hears the strength of her mother's voice, and the belief she has in her daughter. "I want you to come back to me in one piece. Don't go staring down Reapers again. That gave me a damn heart attack when I heard about it."

Shepard laughs and wipes a tear off her cheek, "Yes mom."

"Good girl. Now I've got to go. Lieutenant Percy is getting quite worked up about something and I need to make sure he doesn't shoot his own damn foot off. Call me when you can, alright?"

"I will. Thanks mom. I love you."

"You're welcome, Cora. I love you too."

Shepard disconnects the call and retrieves her coffee, her mother's words floating through her head. There were two people in the galaxy that could lift her spirits, and her mom was one of them. The other was two decks below her, and much too far away for her liking.

* * *

o.o.o

Liara stood at her monitor, filtering through dozens of reports. She was looking for one in particular, a message Feron had sent a few days ago. He had apparently stumbled across some interesting data about the Illusive Man, and Liara wanted to review it again. Information about Jack Harper was incredibly difficult to come across, and any morsel Liara could find was more valuable than eezo. Since the coup, Cerberus had become a smaller blip on everyone's radar, with the Council basically forgetting about them. Even Shepard had become so involved with everything else going on, she had stopped asking Liara for updates. With that data, Liara would hopefully be able to bring Cerberus back into the spot light so that they could be permanently dealt with.

The door to her cabin opens quietly, and she turns to see Shepard walking in. Coffee cup in hand, and in just her shorts and hoodie, she looks a lot more optimistic than the last time Liara had seen her. She greets Liara with a kiss as her hand reaches out to pull Liara closer.

"Well, what brings you down here Commander?" Liara asks quietly, a small smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.

"You were too far away." Shepard replies as she places her mug down on Liara's terminal. Liara catches the look too late, and she suddenly finds herself enveloped in her lover. Shepard's hand reaches out to gently touch the back of Liara's neck, and she shivers in response. With her message search pushed to the side, Liara grabs Shepard's hips lightly, pulling her closer, wanting more of the contact. She feels the sharp exhale as Shepard's breath catches in her throat, and moments later Liara feels her lover's lips on her own. It was soft, and lazy, and perfect. Liara feels the steady increase of her heartbeat, and can feel the desire slowly building in Shepard. Liara moves her hands to Shepard's back, feeling the tight muscles against her hand as Shepard slowly starts moving them towards the bed.

"Commander?"

Shepard ignores the request from EDI, trailing a line of kisses down Liara's neck. Liara herself contemplates ignoring the AI as well, until the metallic voice rings through the room again.

"Commander?"

Liara feels Shepard sigh against her neck as her hands reach up beneath Liara's shirt. The contrast of Shepard's warm hands against her cool skin send shivers down her spine.

"Now is really not a good time, EDI." Shepard replies tersely, and Liara smiles at the reaction she causes when she gently tugs at Shepard's hair.

"I understand that you and Doctor T'Soni are currently engaging in what appears to be forep—"

"EDI! That's good! Thank you! What the hell do you need?" Shepard says as she cuts EDI off. Liara can't help but laugh at the look on Shepard's face, and gently pushes Shepard back so that her commander can focus.

"Jeff has requested your presence on the bridge. It is quite urgent, as it pertains to the mission on Thessia."

Liara feels herself go instantly cold, and she can see Shepard's muscles tense. With a shared glance, both Liara and Shepard straighten their clothing, and Liara retrieves a pair of off-duty combat slacks for Shepard.

"I'm on my way EDI." Shepard says as she takes the pants from Liara and quickly changes. She gives Liara an uncertain, almost nervous look, before she abruptly leaves the room. Liara stands by herself for a moment, glancing at her terminal. She decides that the information on the Illusive Man can wait, and follows Shepard up to the bridge.


	56. Between the Devil and Me

A/N: So... I think this is the longest chapter I've written yet. It is, of course, Thessia, so I didn't want to break it up. Thank you for all of your patience, I know this took a while to get up here. In other news, I somehow have managed to accumulate over 16,000 views, thanks to you wonderful readers. Thank you for all your reviews, favourites, and comments. Thanks as well to reader AlsoKnownAsMatt for your help with the beginning of this chapter.

Enjoy :)

* * *

The cockpit was mired in anxious tension as Shepard watched the haptic readout in front of Joker. Standing behind his chair, one hand resting on the soft leather, she watches in silence as he authorizes system scans and transfers incoming information to Traynor. They were eighteen minutes out from the relay, and Shepard was hoping that the previous scans were incorrect. She could feel, rather than hear, Liara pacing behind her. She knows Liara is just as anxious as she is, but is doing her best to hide it.

"You're sure that's what the block could mean?" Shepard asks quietly.

"No, but it's the only thing it could be. I doubt the asari would set up communication scramblers over their own home world." Joker replies. Shepard notes his comment is lacking his usual sarcasm, and suspects he is hoping that he's wrong.

"Shepard, it is logical to assume that the Reapers would have a defensive method such as this in place. It prevents a fast recovery and rescue of civilians, allowing them to harvest the population without interruption. I suspect that if we were not heading there already, no one would have been aware of Thessia's fall for some time." EDI supplied as she catalogued data.

"Thessia hasn't fallen, EDI." Liara replies from the doorway.

"I apologize, Doctor T'Soni. It was a poor choice of words."

Shepard taps the back of Joker's chair, watching the relay come into view. There were no enemy forces anywhere near the relay itself, which meant they would all be on the other side.

"What's our ETA to the relay?"

"Fifteen minutes, Commander."

"Set condition one throughout the ship." Shepard orders, and the all-hands warning sounds through the Normandy. "Open the ship-wide comm for me, EDI."

"Comm is live, Shepard."

"Crew, this is Shepard. Approach into hostile enemy territory, ETA fifteen minutes. All hands to action stations. Alenko, Vakarian, Vega, and Javik report to the cargo bay for ground-side deployment." Shepard orders quickly, shutting down the comm. "Joker, make sure our stealth system is active the second we are out of that relay. I can't have those bastards seeing us, and I have no idea if they're waiting outside the relay."

"IES stealth system has been vented, so we're good for a few hours. Unless you want us to hang out in orbit."

"We're going to take the shuttle down, and I want you to keep the Normandy between the planet and the relay. I want our exit covered." Shepard supplies as she turns around to head to the hangar.

"Yes ma'am. Good hunting."

Liara falls in step beside Shepard as they make their way through the CIC, the crew around them all at their posts, haptic screens glowing orange, orders being given by the staff lieutenant in charge. Shepard can feel the thrill of battle creeping up her spine, the familiar tingle that precedes almost all of her ground-side missions. This one is tainted though; she feels a sense of dread that is not typically present. Trying to push it aside, summing it up to Liara's presence, she allows the pleasant feeling of killing the bad guys to come to the surface.

"Shepard, I have to go. That's my home down there." Liara finally says as they reach the elevator. Shepard can see the pain and hurt reflected in Liara's eyes, she can feel the remorse and despair she has for her people. But she is also a commander, and needs to make the right decision. Lesuss had been a disaster for Liara; she hadn't been on a mission since, and it had taken a serious emotional toll on her. To be on Thessia, to see thousands of her people dead in the streets, children being dragged away by husks or eaten by cannibals… Shepard doubted Liara's resolve. She was taking enough backup so as to have the firepower, but she'd feel it if Liara was unable to finish the mission.

"Li, I don't think that would be a good call to make."

"Because of Lesuss." Liara said, and Shepard watched her eyes shift from sadness to actual affront.

"Yeah, because of Lesuss. You were a wreck, Liara. This mission is too important for me to lose a squad mate, and I won't have the time to check on you." Shepard says calmly as she presses the button on the elevator. It opens up, and both Liara and Shepard step inside. As the doors close, Liara is suddenly moving into Shepard's space. There's no raise of the eyebrow or burning look, just a feeling of purpose; Shepard feels Liara's hands on her face, her forehead against her own, before Liara mutters to embrace eternity.

The meld breaks as the elevator doors open, and Shepard can feel the familiar feeling of excitement she gets before going ground-side. Gone is the sense of dread, and she nods at Liara. She watches the asari go to her locker and begin changing, and she heads to her own to retrieve her armour from her own storage locker. She listens as Vega and Garrus share their war stories, each of them getting more grandiose as they are told, and the odd grunt of disapproval from Javik. She catches Kaidan out of the corner of her eye, slipping his gauntlets on, quiet and focused as ever. She prefers the casual banter Garrus and James were part of, rather than focusing too hard on what was to come. As much as she valued military protocol and successful missions, she's not had a mission yet where it went according to plan, and it was hard to prepare for the unknown.

Over ten minutes later, Shepard and her squad are finalizing their load out. The banter had stopped, and she knew they were waiting for orders.

"So what's the plan, Shepard?" Kaidan asks.

"I'm going to split us up into two groups. Kaidan, I want you, James, and Garrus as fire team Bravo. You'll stick with us until we get to the monastery. EDI has uploaded the schematics to your omni-tools. Once we're close to the monastery, your team will hang back and cover our rear. I don't want our exit hampered. Javik, Liara and I will take Alpha, and head to the monastery to retrieve the artifact. I'll radio once we've got it and we'll fall back to your position. This is, of course, assuming that we don't get fucked over along the way. We may need Cortez to just pick us up at the monastery."

"What's our resistance like? What are we heading into down there, Commander?" James asks as he checks the safety on his Mattock.

"No idea, but I assume heavy resistance. As far as we know, it's Earth all over again."

Shepard watches her team steel themselves emotionally, pushing aside any feelings they might have. They're all highly trained military personnel, and she expects nothing less. She doesn't doubt her team for a moment, and she knows they'll get the job done.

"Commander, entering the relay in three minutes." Joker provides, his voice ringing out through the cargo bay.

"Copy that. All right folks, lets kill some Reapers."

* * *

o.o.o

Supporting Lieutenant Kurin's fire team from waves of husks and brutes made Shepard realize how incorrect her prognosis had been. It wasn't like Earth; it was ten times worse. Months of fighting Alliance, asari, and turian troops have meant that the Reaper's adapted and changed their attack patterns. They were faced with an enemy ground force that could cripple entire platoons in minutes. Capitol ships darkened the skies, and the new recruits in the Reaper army meant it was more than just husks. Banshee's, mutilated rachni, and waves of cannibals were now in their path, along with swarms of husks that pack attacked and slowed down progress. Fighting their way across a long, badly damaged bridge took them far longer than Shepard had hoped. With the last enemy downed, she and her team have a chance to catch their breath. Kaidan and Liara grab an electrolyte pack from their belts, and Shepard does the same, scanning the route ahead of them.

"Holy hell, I don't remember Earth being that bad. I'm pretty sure we made it to the space port, without armour and just a crappy hand gun, without getting so much as a bruise." James remarks as he takes a swig of water.

"Yeah, no kidding. They've really upped the ante. You guys good? I want to get a move on." Shepard asks.

"Ready when you are, Commander." Kaidan supplies, shoving the empty electrolyte package into his belt. Shepard takes a second to scan her team, noticing that everyone looks ready. Liara is looking anywhere but at the destruction surrounding them, but her resolve seems solid. Shepard notes with a smile that Liara looks more pissed off now than she ever has.

Shepard signals to move out, and they make their way across the bridge. Corpses of Reaper troops are scattered everywhere, blood of varying disgusting colours painting the concrete below their feet. They catch glimpses of asari blood, as well as the odd dead civilian, but not as many as Shepard had anticipated. The team makes their way into what must have been a beautiful open air courtyard once; now it was no more than crumbled walls, fire, and bodies. They watch as a harvester screams into view, attacking a squad of snipers on the roof opposite them. Shepard watches helplessly as the team is decimated in two hits, and she can feel Liara's emotions shift.

"Keep focused, Liara." Shepard mutters, and seconds later the ground below them ignites into balls of flame, as new Reaper troops are deployed.

"Bravo, go left to flank. We'll take right flank and we'll meet you at the bottleneck." Shepard orders as she pushes Liara towards a flight of stairs, Javik in tow.

"Do not let fear consume you, asari. It is the enemy's greatest weapon." Javik advises as he takes down a cannibal. Marauders start pouring in, husks preceding them. The flanking tactic is working though, and as Shepard and her team take cover behind some rubble, she watches the confused movements of the husks as they try in vain to make a decision. The marauders are smarter, and quickly redistribute the husks to attack in two teams of their own. But they are now thinned out, and Shepard's teams make quick work of them. Cannibals are too busy eating their own kind to notice an advancing team of heavily armed marines and are taken out just as quickly. It isn't until the two teams meet up at an entrance way do more heavy Reaper troops arrive. More marauders, but now with a banshee thrown into the mix.

"Kaidan, Liara, Javik! Hit that thing with whatever the hell will take down its barriers. James, Garrus, knock that thing back!" Shepard yells through the comm. Her instinct is to charge the second the barrier is down, but the memory of Lesuss makes an appearance. The image of the grotesque arm and foul stench of its breath as the banshee ripped through her armour and shields in an attempt to kill her surfaces, and Shepard momentarily doubts herself. That thing could kill her in one hit, so would it really be worth charging at it? _What the hell, Shep. Are we scared of ghosts too?_

With its barriers down and the banshee unable to jump due to concussive shots, Shepard charges, pushing aside her fear. The first charge causes the banshee to take a step backwards to gain its footing, but it lashes out wildly with its dagger like claws. Shepard charges again, and the high pitched scream that fills her ears tells her it's dead as it slumps to the ground.

Shepard looks around, taking stock of her team and herself. No injuries, only exhausted looks and fast breathing. Biotics were extremely high energy, and she could feel her body beginning to ache, and had no doubt that the other biotics were feeling the same way. Garrus was sporting a few cuts on his mandible, but only Javik looked no worse for wear. He stood calmly, regarding his fellow squad mates with a look of superiority. Shepard could almost hear his words of disdain, his complete lack of regard for the emotions of her crew. She decides to ignore him for the moment, otherwise she might kill him instead of the real threat.

* * *

o.o.o

"They're making good time. No injuries, just high heart rates and muscle fatigue probably from the biotic usage. Looks like they're right on track for being big damn heroes again, hey EDI?"

"Their scans are indeed good, Jeff. As for being 'big damn heroes', I feel like it is too early to say."

"Yeah, you're probably right. The Illusive Man will undoubtedly show up with an army or something. I'm surprised he's not here already."

"It is possible he is unaware of the events, considering the block the Reapers have. He may know about the artifact; however, he would have likely already collected it if that were the case. That would mean Shepard is on this mission for no reason."

"Always a ray of sunshine, aren't you?"

"I am simply here to help."

There's a brief pause in conversation as Joker watches Shepard and her team move towards what looked like should be a sniper hold out. Switching to Shepard's helmet cam, he watches the lumbering mass of a Reaper capitol ship move directly in front of the squad, as all five of them duck behind cover. The sight sends chills down his back; they've spent months essentially dodging the Reapers, trying their best to stay out of range. Tuchanka and then Rannoch had brought Shepard too close for comfort to an actual Reaper, and once again it looked like they were staring up at the dark visage of death. It looked to be moving ahead, and Joker sighed in relief as Shepard and her team skirted out of its sights, and towards the lone friendly on their scanners.

"Jeff, isn't it the responsibility of Doctor Chakwas to monitor the progress of the ground team?" EDI asks unexpectedly.

"Well, yeah. It just kind of became routine on the SR-1. We didn't have a lot of crew members then, and Chakwas had different responsibilities. I've just never really given her the reins back." Joker replies quickly, closing the helmet feed as if he was caught doing something he shouldn't.

"I see. Do you perhaps have an emotional attachment to the ground crew that requires you to keep tabs on them?"

"Woah, ok EDI. I think maybe you're reading into this a bit more than you should. I just like to make sure I know what's going on, in case Cortez needs to pick them up, or Shepard needs something."

EDI pauses for a moment, running calculations to see if she can anticipate Joker's reaction to her next statement. Her visual of him tells her that he is trying hard to avoid the topic, going as far as to initiate a conversation with Traynor about her most recent chess game. EDI waits, the patience of an AI allowing her to do so without irritation. The conversation concludes, and she resumes her line of reasoning.

"If I may, Jeff, I have a hypothesis."

Joker sighs, placing his head in his hand. "And what is that, EDI?"

"I believe that you have a desire to monitor the ground team, Shepard in particular, because you are afraid of her dying again. If you are watching the feed, you are able to more easily predict incoming danger, and thus alert Shepard before it has a chance to impact her. You are also able to be a first responder in the even that something does happen to Shepard. I believe this desire stems from guilt."

Joker is silent for a moment, watching each squad members heart rate pick up as they encounter more ground forces. Shepard's heart rate is steady and relaxed, spiking slightly as she throws herself into a charge. He watches the blips on his radar signifying the Normandy crew fan out, encompassing the enemy forces, allowing Shepard to charge into them one by one. He sighs again, pushing the feed to the side to run a scan on the system, speaking as he does so.

"Yeah, maybe it is. Those two years without her was hell, and not just for me. I ruined her life, and Liara's life, because I was too damn cocky. So maybe it is out of guilt. I just can't let her die again. I would never forgive myself. I still don't forgive myself."

EDI cocks her head to the side, processing Joker's words. She nods once, and turns her attention to the system scan he has forwarded her.

"Don't worry, Jeff."

"No promises, EDI."

* * *

o.o.o

"Damn, I hate those things. Spiders creep me the hell out." Shepard says as she brushes the remains of a rachni worker off her armour.

"In my cycle, we would unleash thousands at a time on our enemies. Most of them spent their energy running away from these 'spiders'." Javik provided arrogantly, crushing one beneath his foot.

"Well in my cycle, they're creepy as hell." Shepard replies with irritation. So far, the enemies have been easy enough to dispatch, however the deluge of sarcastic or arrogant remarks coming from Javik were thinning her nerves. She's had to clip him a couple times, once as he regaled Liara with a story of the Reapers using indoctrinated children against their own kind, parents being forced to shoot and kill their sons and daughters. A quick reprimand stopped the words, but she had caught the look of superiority on his face as she passed between him and Liara. "All right, this is where I want to split off." Shepard continues, "You guys hold here to keep our backs covered, and the three of us will head up to the temple. Garrus, see if that sniper up there needs your help. Radio me if it's anything serious, but chances are you'll see us in a bit. I'll let you know when we're done." Shepard says with a nod, receiving two salutes and a turian grin in response. She watches Garrus almost dance to where the sniper is, and with a smile, they head to the temple.

* * *

o.o.o

Outpost Tykis was a wreck by the time they arrive, with only one surviving member left, still fighting the waves of troops coming down at them. Liara watches Shepard crouch low with the asari huntress, no doubt getting an update on the situation. Liara scans the area, noticing hostiles are still closing in on them, but the field is clear for now. Liara realizes she has a moment to breathe, and take stock of where she is at. She could easily ask to be left with Kaidan, and have James take her spot. Liara has seen enough death and destruction to last two asari lifetimes, and she could feel her resolve slipping. The dead bodies of her own people lying haphazardly in the street were a grim reminder that even the brilliant and socially strong asari fell victim to monsters. She entertains the brief thought that she's glad her mother isn't alive to see all of this. Benezia had a heart for her people so fierce, it put Tevos to shame. She would be beyond despairing to see the beauty of her civilization torn to shreds.

Liara checks her kinetic barrier, happy to see it's still hovering close to 80%. She watches Shepard stand up and place a hand on the asari's arm, and can feel her remorse for the woman in front of her. Liara has seen Shepard go into combat many times, and more often than not, end up irritated or downright mean by the end of it. But there was something to Shepard, an emotion and a stance Liara had not seen before. Shepard's heart was just as heavy as her own, she was sure of it. The strong willed, charismatic, fierce leader has a benevolent and kind side. Liara has seen it in all of their melds, but has never seen it in action. With a determination she still isn't sure she feels yet, Liara decides to stay her course, and fight alongside her commander.

* * *

o.o.o

"So why would the asari have military grade kinetic barriers protecting this thing? What the hell is this artifact?" Shepard asks as they approach the entrance to the temple. Outpost Tykis is all but gone, the last few asari huntresses sacrificed to give Shepard and her team cover.

"I'm not sure, but it's easy enough to bypass. Just give me a moment." Liara provides, lighting up her omni-tool to bypass the barrier. Shepard looks out over the skyline of the city, watching the monstrous capitol ships destroy everything in their path. Smoke billows up into the sky, and the sunset is marred by the thick blackness of Reapers and fires alike. Night was the worst time to fight a battle, and it was even worse when it was against disgusting monsters that became all but invisible against the night sky. The vibrations and terrifying scream of metal were the only indications a soldier had that the enemy was approaching. Husks moved quickly and quietly through debris, scouting and finding pockets of victims. By the time they swarmed, marauders and cannibals moved in, and the solider or civilian didn't stand a chance. Shepard suppresses a shudder, willing the barrier to be dropped soon so they can be gone before night fell.

"It's down, Commander." Javik replies quietly from beside her.

"Good. Let's get this artifact and get out of here."

The temple provided a peace and tranquility Shepard had not expected. A soothing light cast a glow against a lithe asari statue in the centre, and rows of pews branched outwards. Pillars of marble and smooth white stone stood sentry in this quiet place, and Shepard followed Liara to the front of the temple, drinking in the sight around her. Artifacts were spread out on smaller pillars to the left and right of a walkway around the temple, and Shepard hoped that one of them is what they needed.

"Commander, we were told the scientists would be meet us here. I do not see them." Javik says as he walks past one of the artifacts.

"They might be hiding. Take a look around." Shepard orders as she walks up to Liara. Something to her left catches her eye, and she sees the bodies of the scientists, blood forming a halo around their heads. "Cancel that, they're right here." Shepard crouches down to take a closer look, and to try and establish if any of them are still remotely alive. She notices cut marks along their necks, and frowns in confusion. "Looks like their throats have been slit though. The Reapers didn't kill them." She stands up to look towards Liara, willing her not to look this way. She then feels a subtle draw, like an ocean wave pulling her, drawing her closer into the depths. She looks up at the asari statue, and slowly starts walking towards it. Whispered words that she's heard before start flowing past her ears, and she can feel a vibration coursing through her body. As she approaches, the world around her goes dark, with the statue growing brighter in front of her. She knows the feeling, though it has been many years since she's felt the draw.

"There's a Prothean beacon here." She says quietly, interrupting the conversation Javik was having with Liara.

"What? Are you sure?" Liara asks.

"It's not exactly something you forget."

"I can feel it too. I am surprised you have not read the signs, asari. The writing is there for all to see. The artifacts littered around the room are from your beginning, when the asari were still learning language and mathematics. Harvests and weather patterns. But they are borrowed designs from those who were your true gods."

"I know about these artifacts. The goddess Athame, the figure in the statue, gave the asari the means to learn and grow."

Javik smirks, moving closer to the statue of Athame. His eyes close, and he reaches out his hand as if to touch the memory of his people. Shepard watches his face form a rare smile, while she fights back the headache the proximity is giving her.

"Your Athame was no asari goddess. She was Prothean. How can you be so blind? You call yourself a doctor of ancient relics, yet you have no idea what you are doing, asari." Javik says as he opens his eyes, his arm falling back at his side. Shepard's irritation with him surfaces, and she watches Liara's face fall at the insinuation. Liara has spent years proving herself to her own people, mostly in vain. She didn't deserve what Javik was throwing at her.

"Javik, cut it out. If you're not going to play nice and fucking help us, I'll send you back down with the rest of the squad."

"I am merely speaking truth, Commander. The artifacts around the temple are keyed to activate the beacon if we are to utilize it. I suggest we focus on that, instead of whatever petty grudges might exist."

After a frustrating search around the temple, with a deluge of facts being spewed at Liara about her peoples' true intelligence, the trio manage to activate the beacon, causing the statue of Athame to crumble in a heap at the bottom. A VI program activates itself, floating in an orb of green to where Shepard stands. Javik's presence ends up aiding them, as the VI does not shut down, and instead beings to provide information of defeating the Reapers. A Prothean construct, the VI was interfaced with the Crucible prior to the fall of the Protheans. Shepard listens to the information, and feels a surge of hope fill her chest. The VI programs knows how to complete the Crucible, and the solution is within arms reach.

"So we just take you back to the Normandy, and you can tell us how to finish the Crucible?" Shepard asks.

"Yes." Comes the short reply from the VI.

"Fantastic. Then let's get the hell out of here. Kaidan, rendezvous in five minutes. We've got what we came for."

"Roger that, Commander." Kaidan replies.

Before they could move ten feet, Shepard hears the muffled sound of footfall quietly landing in dust. She then feels a surge of panic rip through her, and she spins around to see Liara being held, an arm around her throat and a gun against her side.

"Thank you for doing my dirty work, Shepard. Artifacts are so boring." Kai Leng says with a vicious grin.

"You. You stupid son of a bitch. What the hell are you doing here?" Shepard says as she aims her pistol at his head. She turns off her emotions, and doesn't dare look at Liara. She needs to focus, and she won't be able to if she allows herself to get worked up.

"That should be clear, now that you've recovered the Prothean VI. If you don't mind, you can go ahead and place the data disk on the floor. I promise I won't hurt your little asari too badly."

Shepard weighs her options and checks her surroundings. He's got Liara firmly in his grip, and one wrong move from any of them and there's a bullet in her abdomen. There is only debris and concrete littering the floor around him, and none of it is substantial enough to use as a projectile. Javik has his gun trained on the assassin, but she knows that he would not hesitate to shoot the hostage, even if it meant he would die right along with Kai Leng. She then hears the engines of a gunship as it hovers outside the entrance of the temple. The bullets would tear her and her team apart in seconds if they don't find cover.

"Time is limited, Shepard." Kai Leng says, emphasizing his words by pressing the muzzle of his pistol farther into Liara's side.

Shepard can feel the burning rage inside of her, the unspoken plea from Liara not to do it, that the galaxy is more important than one asari. Shepard herself knows the stakes; the ruthless calculus of war. The growing feeling of anger is becoming harder to contain, and Shepard can feel the world around her growing red. She then makes the mistake of looking at Liara. There is no fear, only a calm resolution that Shepard would make the right decision.

"Commander, you're not actually debating this, are you?" Javik says at her elbow.

Her green eyes flick from Javik, to Liara, to Kai Leng. She hears the motors of the gunship spinning up, and she knows he'll just kill them all if she doesn't act soon.

"Fuck. I'm going to find you, and I'm going to kill you. You'll never see it coming when I put a blade right through your heart." Shepard says in a low whisper. She tosses the data disc containing the Prothean VI between her and Liara. Kai Leng shoves Liara to the side, and as shots are fired from Javik and Shepard, he activates his kinetic shield. The gunship fires up, unloading rounds into the temple. Shepard rushes to Liara, pulling them both into cover as Javik does the same across from them. The barrage of bullets doesn't stop until the gunship leaves the entrance of the temple. Shepard charges into the empty space, firing fruitlessly at the gunship as it retreats into the Thessian sky. A rage so complete fills Shepard's chest as she watches it disappear. She feels Liara's hand on her shoulder, but she shrugs it off. _I failed. I fucking failed because I love someone. The only chance to save the galaxy was just carried off by the enemy._

"Let's go find the others." She says after a moment, her tone dark and full of hate for the Illusive Man and his constant road blocks. "Because if we don't, I'm going to tear this place down with my hands and save the Reapers the trouble."


	57. Man Overboard

A/N: This chapter was a bit difficult to write. I understand that as the author, I can direct where the story goes and I have the option to make it as light-hearted and care free as I want. That being said, depression and its many forms is a real thing that a lot of us deal with, and I feel like Shepard would be no exception. Cora is, after all, only human.

 ****This chapter contains potential triggers for suicide/self harm. Reader discretion is strongly advised.****

* * *

For the first time in a long time, Garrus was anxious. It was rare that he felt this way; he was the best sniper in the galaxy, he spent a better part of two years as Archangel, and he was an all around turian bad boy. Anxiety wasn't his usual MO, but as he walked through the CIC towards the elevator, he could feel the unwelcome hold of it in his guts. The ship was quiet, the engines humming in the way they do when the ship was floating through the empty reaches of space. The drive core was sleeping, as were most of the crew. As he made his way to the crew deck, memories of Thessia were still present in his mind, as fresh and painful as a new bruise. Liara had been remarkably brave; bodies of her people lying in the streets, Javik constantly prodding, the beautiful skyline of the Thessian city being brought to ruins, seemed to have bolstered Liara rather than ruin her. He knew that part of the reason for those emotions was the desire to not let Shepard down. He had been surprised to see her join the ground team, but trusted Shepard's order. She wouldn't have jeopardized the mission or her team if she didn't trust Liara to get the job done.

Liara's calm, and Shepard's destructive anger were the roots of his anxiety. He knew that both were toxic emotions, neither reaction being healthy given the circumstances, and fairly soon everything would come to a head.

The elevator doors open, and Garrus sees Tali by the memorial wall. Her head bowed, stress for her friends evident in her posture. His mandibles twitch slightly, and he approaches her quietly, moving to stand beside her. She sighs, and her small frame seems even smaller under the dim lights of the night cycle. She reaches out and takes his taloned hand in hers, leaning her head against his arm. The anxiety dissipates slightly, and Garrus tries to will some of his own stress away in order to just enjoy the contact.

"This is all such a mess, Garrus." Tali says quietly.

"I know. Have you talked to Liara?"

"No. I just regained my home world. I'm probably the last person she'd want to see right now. Have you talked to Shepard?"

"Not yet. The ride back in the shuttle was like being locked up with a caged animal. It was all we could do to give her as much distance as possible, so there wasn't much room for conversation. I haven't seen her since we boarded."

"She came through not too long ago, to check on Kaidan and to find you. But I think she's avoiding Liara."

Garrus was not surprised. He knew Shepard well, and the fact that she hasn't spoken to Liara yet meant that she was wearing a mantle of unbearable guilt, and wouldn't be able to face her lover yet. Shepard would most likely hole herself up in her room for as long as possible, both to avoid the looks of sympathy from well meaning crew, and to wallow in her guilt. He loves her like a sister, but he knows she has a penchant for being melodramatic.

"Yeah, I figured that would happen. Maybe I'll go check on her."

Tali lets go of his hand, folding her arms across her chest. She was usually so chatty and full of life; to see her in a state of hopelessness made his heart break for her. Everyone on this ship was feeling the pressure now. The people who have been with Shepard since the beginning have a sense of finality, similar to the feeling they all had before running off to Ilos, or taking on the Collectors. Something was changing, he could feel it in the air. The certainty of finality for the tenured officers was confusing for the newer crew members, who did their jobs efficiently and without complaint, but still had an uneasy look on their faces. He knew Tali spent a lot of time speaking with the new crew members, calming them down or just being there to talk to. Most of them sought Tali out; she was a breath of a fresh air for them, full of energy and hope. Full of a life that made quarians who they are. But wearing a mask of bravery when you felt anything but was clearly taking a toll.

"We'll get this done, Tali. It's not going to get any easier, but we'll all make it out to the other side. Don't lose your enthusiasm; you're the only one who has it most of the time, and we all thrive on it. I need you in this." He feels Tali shift to look up at him, and he turns slightly to watch her. Her head is quirked to the side, her posture a little more relaxed. It didn't take much to pick Tali's spirits up as they rarely fell far.

"I wont, Garrus. And I'll be here. You know, until this fling is over, and I'm done using you for your body."

"That's more like the Tali I know." Garrus says with a laugh, and reaches out to bring Tali closer, squeezing her into a hug.

"Let go of me, you bosht'et. You'll wrinkle my suit." Tali replies gently, squirming in his arms for effect. "Go and see Shepard. And come find me later."

* * *

o.o.o

Garrus stood at the door to Shepard's cabin, waiting patiently for her to allow him access. His chat with Tali had helped, and he felt considerably more at ease with the conversation he was about to have. Often he felt it unfair for Shepard to be saddled with the burden she has been, with little regard seeming to have been given by her superior officers. As much as he respected Admiral Hackett, Garrus thought a little more breathing room could be offered to the one person saving the galaxy. As a turian, he knew the importance of military protocol and following orders. But he himself knew he wasn't a very good turian, going as far as to wish Shepard said 'no' once in a while. He presses the call button on her door again with a frown, noting that it's taking her quite some time to let him in.

"Garrus, I have overridden the door controls to allow you access. I believe Shepard needs someone to talk to." EDI says quietly in the space between. Garrus feels his anxiety rise up again, but steps closer to the door to open it up.

The cabin is dark and quiet, the illumination from the fish tank providing the only light. Pieces of her armour are scattered across the floor, his foot bumping into a gauntlet directly in front of him. Pushing it aside gently, he scans the room. The bed is still made and does not have the form of his friend laying on it, so she must be on the couch. Walking further into the room, he hears a soft sigh, and knows that's exactly where Shepard is. Rounding the corner, he stops short. Shepard is sitting cross-legged on the couch in just her compression suit, and he can smell the blood and sweat on her still from the mission. Her head is in her hands, and her eyes are closed.

"EDI let you in, I assume." Shepard says quietly. Garrus notices that her voice is strained and rough, like she has been crying.

"Yeah. I wanted to come up and see how you were doing, and I think EDI was worried for you."

"I'm living the dream, Garrus." Shepard replies with a short laugh, but there's no humour in it. She moves slightly, placing something on the table in front of her. Garrus frowns in concentration, trying to get his eyes to focus in the dim light. When they do, he can clearly make out the shape of a Carnifex, Shepard's Carnifex. His eyes move from Shepard to the gun, and back again. The safety is off, and he wonders why she would have been holding the gun in her lap. He watches her for a moment, and the pieces start to come together.

"Shepard, what are you doing?" he asks gently, leaning against the wall. He wants to make himself appear as though he isn't a threat, and he clasps his hands loosely in front of himself.

"Just sitting here, Garrus. Contemplating life and all that."

"And? What have you established through your contemplations?"

"That there is nothing in this entire galaxy that will go right for me. That no one gives a shit whether I live or die, just as long as the galaxy is saved and the Reapers are destroyed. That I am going to face increasingly hard decisions, and one day I will have to shoot someone I love to complete a mission."

Garrus watches Shepard closely, waiting for any movement or display of emotion. He can hear the pain in her voice, the stress of months of fighting against an unfathomable enemy. He had heard of the situation she was forced into when Kai Leng showed up. Javik had told him, of course with derision. Javik didn't understand why Shepard hadn't shot Liara to get to Kai Leng, but Garrus did. And he would have done the same thing in Shepard's position.

"There is nothing you could have done differently on that mission, Shepard. The Reapers were already there, no one had warning of that. Kai Leng showing up wasn't something we could have predicted. And the situation with Liara? Well, I would be worried if it had gone any other way."

He watches Shepard tilt her head in his direction, processing what he was saying. He knows she doesn't believe him, but the fact that she was listening was a win. He slowly moves away from the wall, and joins Shepard on the couch. He watches her look back towards the Carnifex sitting idly on the table, and she sighs. A few moments pass, and Garrus waits patiently for Shepard to come back.

"I should have known, Garrus. The Illusive Man has been dogging my steps since day one, of course he would have shown up in some form. I lost us this war because I wasn't fast enough, wasn't smart enough. Because I didn't plan, and because I love someone. Now he has the key to stopping the Reapers, and I don't. I don't know how to finish the Crucible, and a trillion lives will waste away in a sea of blood because of me. You, Kaidan, Joker, Chakwas… everyone will die now. I've already killed Ash, Mordin, Thane, Legion. I don't save people, Garrus. I kill them. So what's the point." Shepard says quietly. Garrus can hear a hint of anger in her voice, but otherwise it's calm and quiet. He considers anger a good thing, because at least there's some semblance of emotion. He watches her reach forward and grab the Carnifex, her hand holding it like it's an extension of herself. She looks at it intently, and he again waits for her.

"Seemed like a good idea. I could shoot the window above my bed, get sucked out into space. That happened once. It's not so bad, everything goes dark and quiet in seconds. EDI would lock out this room so the rest of the ship wasn't affected. Or I could just shoot myself and be done with it, save you guys from having to repair the ship before you went to Earth. But then I realized something, Garrus. I realized that if either of those things happened, I'd never see Liara again. I'd never see the way a planet looks from orbit as the Normandy hides in its shadow, waiting for the sunrise to crest over the horizon. I'd never see the look on EDI's face when she learned something new, or hear you and James having a pissing contest. I'd never hear Grunt's stupid laugh again, and I wouldn't be able to talk to my mom." Garrus hears her voice catch in her throat, and he reaches out to place a hand on her knee. Shepard brushes the back of her hand against her cheek, and continues speaking, this time with a smile in her voice. "And the way Tali bounces, one foot to the other, when she upgrades the drive core? That makes me smile, and I would miss that.

I would miss shooting the Illusive Man in the head, and kicking the Reapers out of my galaxy. I couldn't leave it to someone else, Garrus. Someone else will get it wrong. So I have to do this. I have to wade through all this heartache, all of this despair and fear and anxiety. I have to make it to the finish line, even if it means I crawl across it with a broken body. I have to do this for you, Liara, Ash, Joker… all of you. I have to do this for my mom, Hackett, Anderson. For all of those kids who are now orphans because the boogey man is real. If I stop now, I'll die. And I can't."

Garrus watches Shepard turn the safety on, and she places the Carnifex back on the table. She looks up at him, tears in her eyes, and he pats her knee. He's never seen her this broken, but he can see the hint of determination hiding in her green eyes. She wipes the tears from her cheeks with a smile, and he can see she's coming back.

"Damn, Garrus. Don't tell anyone I cried like a baby. I'll never live it down."

"I wouldn't dream of it, Shepard."

"I need to shower. I smell like a varren. How are you sitting this close to me? Don't you turians have an amazing sense of smell?"

"Well, I thought it would be rude to vomit on your floor, so mostly I'm just holding my breath."

Shepard chuckles, and Garrus smiles in return. It's going to take a lot longer for Shepard to come around, and she'll still be heart sore for quite some time, but he's happy to see her smile and hear her genuine laugh.

"Has anyone seen Liara? I didn't have the balls to check in on her, which makes me a terrible girlfriend."

"I think Tali was going to go see her, but you really should Shepard. She'll need you."

He watches Shepard look around her room as though she's just walked in, her vision clearing and her mind starting to process at higher levels. She frowns when she sees her armour in pieces all over the floor, and he hears her stomach grumble. It's been hours since they got back from Thessia, and he realizes she probably hasn't eaten.

"Why don't you go shower, and then we'll go down to the mess hall and grab something to eat. I really hope Tali hasn't found the chocolate Doctor Michele gave me, because I could sure go for some of that right now."

"I think you'd know if she found it, Garrus. I doubt you'd hear the end of it." Shepard replies with a sly smile.

"Why, what do you mean?"

Garrus smiles in confusion at the laughter that follows, unsure why Shepard finds it so funny. He thought it was rather nice of Doctor Michele to give him the dextro chocolate.

"Nothing, Garrus. Never mind. I'll meet you downstairs. And thank you."

Garrus nods at Shepard's heartfelt thanks, her eyes still threatening to let more tears fall.

"Of course. There's no Shepard without Vakarian."


	58. Do You Feel It?

A/N: Just a warning, I'm going to give the second half of this a chapter a rating of M due to content. Nothing extreme, but I thought I'd make mention of a rating. Even though the story itself is rated... anyways, better safe than sorry! As a side note, I was actually going to post this chapter without any sexy times, but then I got carried away. Sorry not sorry.

Two things: 1) the title is a song by Chaos Chaos. I stumbled across it not too long ago, and it is actually the inspiration for this chapter. It's worth checking out. 2) Apparently the site's traffic graph is down, so I have zero record for the past six days that anyone is reading this story. You guys are still out there, right?

Right?

Enjoy :)

* * *

Her room was getting too small, and the walls were becoming too confining. While the outside intentions were meant to convey a sense of safety and security, Miranda was quickly coming to the realization that she was, indeed, a prisoner. The three-day wait had turned into five days, and while she had lost her patience within the first hour, she had tried to make the best of it. Pacing had lost its charm, so she instead had to resort to escorted walks around the small compound. It was unsurprising to her that the staff in charge of the station were hesitant to allow free roam of the facility; she had spent years as a loyal Cerberus agent, and she could identify other agents with her eyes closed. Of course, she hadn't known anyone by name or face, but operatives had a way about them. The way they walked, confident and deadly. They were incredibly intelligent, and their superiority would enter a room before they did. Miranda knew the calling cards, because she herself had spent years working on them.

As she walked through the stark white corridors of the Cerberus facility, her guide only a few paces behind her, Miranda had to stop herself time and time again from falling into a false sense of security. The scientists, support staff, and social workers all passed by with a calm efficiency, prone to offer a smile or a quick greeting. They were the same manners she had adopted during her years with Cerberus, and it was evident to her that old habits die hard. She wondered where she would have fit in, if she hadn't left the organization that she had grown up in. She watches as a young woman dressed in a white, nondescript uniform walks by, holding the hand of a small child who may have gotten lost, or wandered in a direction he shouldn't have. Miranda doubted that child would see his family again. The thought of her place in this organization made her feel ill. It was apparent that the Illusive Man was grasping at straws, and whatever this plan was, it was not in the best interests of anyone here.

Miranda stands next to one of the many windows overlooking the rest of the station, the black expanse of space enveloping everything. A ship leaves its docking port, only to be replaced moments later by another cargo vessel, undoubtedly filled with people or supplies. She glances behind her, noticing that her guide has his finger pressed to his ear, his head cocked to the side, as though he was listening to orders. His face is neutral, and he remains quiet. Miranda feels a knot form in the pit of her stomach, and quickly gives the man a once-over. He doesn't appear to be armed, but that doesn't mean much when it came to Cerberus. He could have cybernetic implants that allow for above-average strength and speed, or he could have well trained biotic abilities. She feigned disinterest, and looked back out the window, watching for security or visual alarms to sound outside of the facility. There was no movement, and no sound. She forced herself to relax; he could just be going off rotation, or receiving another request to escort someone else around.

"Miss Chapman? I'm afraid I will need to escort you back to your room now. If you'll kindly follow me." The man says suddenly, cutting into Miranda's thoughts.

"Of course. Is there something wrong?" she asks nonchalantly.

"No miss, everything is just fine."

She could tell he was lying. She was trained a long time ago to weed out liars and cheats, and even though this agent was clearly good at his job, she could see the signs. She dropped her eyes and nodded, even though all of her training and her personality begged her to ask more questions. She followed behind him at a pace that was much quicker than she would have expected for a situation where nothing was wrong. An announcement came over the stations comms, advising that all guests should return to their rooms and should remain there until otherwise notified. It was as close to a lock-down as they could get without scaring the population. Miranda's mind quickly went through likely scenarios; an angry 'guest' causing commotion over the long wait period. A fire in the cafeteria would prompt damage control. But the most likely scenario would be that someone has gotten out of hand, and that someone could be privy to secrets that the staff would want to keep under wraps.

Miranda didn't have to wait long to find the answer. As they approached a common area, a wide space with all passageways entering into the circle-like room surrounded by the dormitories, she could hear yelling. It was clear that whatever the commotion was, it started here and was still going on. Staff escorted families and individuals around the area, trying to get them either to their rooms or one in a different wing. There was a wall of security blocking most of the entrances, and Miranda felt her anxiety grow. She slowed her pace, trying to catch a glimpse of what the guards were shielding. She felt a hand grab her elbow roughly, pulling her into an adjoining passageway. Her guide pulled her along, and she instinctively flared her biotics.

"Let go of me." Miranda said coldly, the biotic push causing the man to let go of her elbow as he stumbled backwards a few steps. He righted himself, and stared at her in disbelief. The unauthorized use of biotics was subject to harsh penalties aboard this station, but Miranda just glared at him, waiting for him to alert security. Instead, his body stiffened, his eyes unfocused, and he dropped to the ground. The yelling behind her was intensifying, and ahead of her stood a drell, a small dart gun in his hand. His large eyes watched her, waiting for her to make a move.

"That's an interesting way to relieve someone of duty. Is that common practice around here?"

"I wouldn't know. I don't work here. My job though is to get you out of here, so I suggest we move while security is distracted." The drell replies, moving towards the guide. He crouches down and removes the dart that had been neatly shot into the back of his neck.

"I'm not going anywhere with you."

"I know who you are, and I know why you're here. I've been asked to take you to your desired destination."

Miranda watches him closely, his gun now hidden away, his arms folded behind his back. He stood the same way Thane always did during debriefs, and Miranda found that oddly comforting.

"Who asked you?" Miranda asked, his answer depending on her decision.

"The Shadow Broker. She thought you might show up here. My name is Feron, I am one of the Broker's operatives."

Feron inclined his head, suggesting that Miranda follow him. Miranda nodded hesitantly, content in the knowledge that if he were lying, she could quickly dispose of him. They quietly proceeded down a series of hallways Miranda had been denied access to, and her mind processed the idea that Liara knew about this place. She was one of the few people in the galaxy who actually knew the Shadow Broker on a first name basis, but to have not been told about this stepping stone of a facility irritated her.

"How did the Broker find out about this facility?"

"It was a recent piece of knowledge that the Broker acquired. The family of one of her operatives decided to go to Sanctuary a few weeks ago, and hasn't been heard from since. The Broker gave permission for that operative to investigate." Feron whispers.

"So how did you get looped into this, Feron?" Miranda asks as they pause at a crossroads, Feron listening intently for any sound that could pose a threat.

"Well, when the operative didn't report back, the Broker became concerned that something larger could be going on," – Feron provides, pausing for a moment to check around the corner – "and then I guess there was a leaked transmission aboard the ship the Broker is currently on, and she became aware that you might perhaps need some assistance."

Feron moves silently across the hallway, Miranda following closely behind. She knew that there was no chance of a leaked transmission; the only one she had sent was to Traynor, and she was a communications specialist, trusted with Shepard's messages as well as sensitive information. Miranda then realizes Liara would have advised Feron it was a leaked transmission, when in all reality, Traynor must have spoken to Liara in person.

"Well played, Sam." Miranda says quietly to herself. Feron comes to a stop at a dead end in one of the corridors and activates his omni-tool. A short burst of electricity follows, and a small panel opens along the wall. Feron keys in a quick series of numbers, and a larger door materializes to the right.

"My ship is docked inside one of the open-air ventilation shafts. I've disabled the sub-routine that prompts venting, but we don't have much time before that hack is cancelled. Are you ready to go, Ms. Lawson?"

"Yes. I must say, it certainly helps to have friends in high places." Miranda says as they slip through the doorway.

"Indeed it does, especially one as high up as our Broker."

* * *

o.o.o

Liara reads the incoming message from Feron quickly, smiling with satisfaction as she files it away in her archives. A list of casualties was pouring down on the haptic screen to her left, the names of the dead from Thessia and the colonies passing by as though they were swept up in a raging river. She was working quickly to establish safe houses and provisions for those who had fled Thessia in time, and while Liara knew that there was only so much to be done, she welcomed the distraction. She had waited until Shepard had disappeared before she allowed herself to break down. She was barely in her quarters before the horror that was Thessia invaded her memory. The screams of Lieutenant Kurin and her team, the horrifying sound of the harvesters as they killed everyone around them. Bodies of mothers holding their children as they died in the first rush of the enemy forces. Powerful matriarchs who had joined the chaos to provide stability and assistance, lay dead in the streets, surrounded by the bodies of those they had tried to save. Liara had remained resolute, keeping her eyes on Shepard's back, watching the commander take out waves of enemies while Liara dutifully dispatched singularities or stasis fields.

It wasn't until they had reached the temple that Liara finally allowed her concentration to break. Javik had been unbearable, and appeared to relish the distraught look on her face as he told her how much her people had needed his. The idea that the asari were just a science project for the Protheans made Liara feel sick. She couldn't help but wonder what would have happened to them if it was discovered they couldn't count to a number higher than their toes, or they hadn't mastered agriculture. She imagined the Protheans would have just abandoned them, or at the very least, taken a few of them as slaves. These thoughts had prompted Liara to confront Javik, to force him to realize that he is just as fallible as the rest of them. She had been furious and heartbroken, but was satisfied to see his countenance change after she had forcefully spoken to him. She knew his words of courage were forced, but she hadn't cared. She'd finally elicited an emotion from him that was different from his usual disdain.

The door to her cabin hisses open, and Liara sees a decidedly morose looking Shepard standing at the entrance. Her hair was still wet from a recent shower, and her N7 hoodie was wrapped tightly around her. Shepard has paused at the doorway, and Liara realizes that she's waiting for permission to come inside.

"You can come in, Cora." Liara says quietly, a small smile forming on her lips.

"Are you sure? I should've been here hours ago."

"To do what? Try and console me while you yourself needed consolation? I love you, but I don't think you were in any position to help anyone."

Shepard smirks and slowly enters the cabin, padding her way quietly to Liara's bed. "Yeah, I feel like that a lot." She says as she sits down. Liara watches Shepard's face, and can see that her green eyes are holding something other than frustration in their depths. Liara knows that Shepard feels guilt about what happened on Thessia. She had watched her lover struggle with a decision to save Liara or the data, and knew that she held herself responsible for losing it entirely. Shepard has a self-imposed guilt complex, one that demands she beat herself up over a loss, rather than move on with a new sense of purpose. Liara had been gently working away at that part of Shepard's mind for years, building a trust and a love that would allow Shepard to not hold herself responsible for things outside of her control. Liara was afraid though that Thessia had undone all that hard work.

She closes down the monitor, and the display stops providing a read out of information from Thessia. She walks over to stand in front of Shepard, placing her hand on her still damp hair. Shepard leans forward, placing her forehead against Liara's stomach, resting one of her hands on Liara's leg.

"We have to go to the Iera system. I guess Traynor was able to track where that bastards shuttle went." Shepard says, her voice muffled against Liara's shirt.

"Sanctuary." Liara responds, trailing her fingers through Shepard's hair.

"Yeah, something like that. It's supposed to be a place for refugees, so I can't figure out why the Illusive Man's most precious asshole would be heading there."

"My sources say it is possibly a Cerberus facility. I had an operative investigating there a week ago, but he didn't report back. I sent Feron in two days ago, after Specialist Traynor came to me, telling me she thinks Miranda might be trying to track her sister down."

Shepard stiffens slightly, "Wait, what? Can you run that by me again? Miranda is at Sanctuary?"

"I'm not sure, Cora. What I do know is that three days ago, Traynor came to me asking me to find out where Miranda had gone, and possibly ensure she stays safe. She'd received a message from Miranda, saying that she needed to track her sister down. One week prior, one of my operatives requested he be able to investigate Sanctuary as his family had gone missing. My operative didn't report in, so I sent Feron in to find out what was going on. The reports I got back from him were disturbing." Liara says, gauging Shepard's reaction. She had relaxed again, and Liara continued. "He found a facility working under the guise of a safe house that refugees would stay at prior to entering Sanctuary. Hundreds of people pass through every day, but only half of them actually end up leaving to go on to the main facility. I had a hunch that perhaps Miranda might be following the same path, so I asked Feron to keep an eye out. This morning he reported that he had found her. I received a message a few minutes ago from Feron, who now has Miranda safely with him. He is taking her to Sanctuary, though I'm not sure how long that will take him from where they are now."

Shepard moves slightly, tilting her head up so that she can look at Liara. She can't place the look Shepard is giving her; she's never seen the odd way Shepard's eye brows are positioned, nor the way her mouth was forming a faint smile.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Because I just realized you're the only reason we're not all dead yet. Not me and my destructive abilities, but you and your subterfuge."

"I hardly think that's subterfuge." Liara says with a laugh.

"No, seriously Li. You could save us all and not even fire a gun. I spend all day firing a gun and only manage to kill the people I care about." Shepard says. Liara is familiar with the words, although now there's a different tone to the way Shepard is saying them. There is less despair, and more humour at the realization Shepard has come across.

"I don't think that being weaponless is going to win us this war, Cora."

"I don't think so either, but we've got a hell of a lot better chance with you doing your shadowy thing, combined with me doing my shooty thing. Maybe we actually have a chance." Shepard replies. She pulls Liara forward as she leans back onto the bed, and Liara moves to straddle Shepard's hips.

"I never doubted we were going to be successful." Liara says quietly, leaning forward to kiss Shepard.

"Hm, yeah, I totally did. Not that I don't think I'm awesome, but seriously. They're giant machines, Li. And then I get my chance to stop them, and King of Stupid Swords rips it away from me."

"You know his name, don't you?"

"Yeah, but I'm not going to use it."

Liara smiles and places a line of kisses along Shepard's neck, quietly unzipping her hoodie in the process.

"So now I've got the Reapers, the Illusive Man, Sir Shit for Brains, and Javik. And they're all damn annoying." Shepard continues, her hands moving instinctively to Liara's hips.

"Well, there's not much you can do about Javik, but he shouldn't be too bad going forward. And the rest of them we'll deal with."

Liara slips her hand up Shepard's tank top, her smooth hands running across Shepard's taught stomach. She feels Shepard's skin turn to goose flesh, and her muscles flex.

"I suddenly have no desire to talk about any of those things any more." Shepard says quietly as she runs her hands along Liara's waist.

"Good. It wasn't as productive as this will be."

Liara lightly moves her hand higher up Shepard's stomach, but pauses when Shepard's hands gently hold her face. Liara looks into the green eyes intently looking up at her, and she sees a doubt pass through them.

"Cora, what's – "

"Do you love me?"

"Of course I love you. Do you not know this?"

"I do… I just… I need to show you something. I need to show you everything. I know you can tell there are parts I don't let you see when we meld, but I've been hiding from you for too long. I need to show you what I feel and how I think. There are things you don't know about me yet. You need to see what happened to me tonight."

Liara can see the uncertainty and the hesitation in Shepard's face. There is something she is ashamed about, something dark and shrouded in a haze that Liara has seen briefly in their melds, but never intruded upon. Asari are taught when they are very young not to forcibly take information or access parts of the mind that the person they're melding with clearly wants to keep secret, and Liara took that training to heart. She has been curious of those dark corners of Shepard's mind, but wouldn't dare press for answers.

"You can show me whatever you need to, Cora. You know that I will never judge you."

"Good, because this is going to get messy." Shepard replies with an uncertain attempt at a smile. Liara returns the gesture, and leans forward to press a gently kiss below Shepard's ear.

"Embrace eternity."

Liara is suddenly swept up in the emotions that rule Cora Shepard. She feels the familiar; the self-doubt, the sadness, the anger, the guilt. But gently, like an uncertain child, she feels the darkness open up and allow her in. She feels a haze surround her as she presses further forward, and she knows that Shepard is doing her best to keep the walls down. Her physical body registers something holding on to her, and she feels Shepard's mind clinging to her the same way her body is. Liara feels the shame and instead of seeing it, feels a Carnifex with its safety off. She registers the dulled senses and apathy Shepard had felt, and she can see the memories of holding the gun, as if they were her own. Liara witnesses the rush of Shepard's subconscious as it attempts to bring rational thought to the surface, to force Shepard to think before she acts. Shepard had supressed it, and Liara sees the memories and the thought processes, and an undeniable depression. Liara reminds herself to pull back her own emotions; she is an observer in Shepard's mind, and she can't yet relay her own emotions until Shepard is ready.

Liara again sees the subconscious, shades of yellow and purple, pressing into the black and gray of the conscious thought. This time, the colours mingle, and subtle forms make their way to the forefront. Grunt laughing after making a kill. Tali excitedly explaining the new drive core updates. James calling Garrus a chicken. And gradually, the black haze is forced back, and the colours take over. The gun is placed on a table, and the comforting presence of Garrus is felt. Liara now makes her own emotions know, her love and her sense of pride in her lover mingling with the positive that was the conversation with Garrus. She provides her own memories of their time together, presenting them alongside memories of Grunt, Ashley, Tali, and Joker. Instead of an observer, Liara becomes a player in healing Shepard's mind.

* * *

o.o.o

Shepard feels Liara's mind pull back, and opens her eyes. She blinks a few times, trying to get her eyes to focus. She sees the brilliant blue of Liara's eyes, and she knows that there is no judgment. Thoughts and memories and emotions fill her mind, gradually – though not completely – taking over the space once held by the blackness. Shepard registers that her body is curled against Liara's as they lay facing each other on the bed. Liara's hand is gently running down Shepard's back, and she moves to kiss her. An urgency that Shepard hasn't felt in a while takes over, and she pulls Liara on top of her. She reaches up, intent on removing all the barriers that are currently blocking her access to Liara's skin. Her mind is a riot of thoughts and a complete love that she thought was lost forever in the black hole of her depression. The meld had reaffirmed a love that she knew was there, but could not access. Gone was the guilt and anger, replaced by a need to see and touch and feel the love of Liara around her.

Their clothes were gone in seconds, strewn across the floor like old memories. She felt the soft pebbled skin under her hands as she ran them along Liara's back, the muscles flexing with each movement. Liara's mouth was leaving a burning trail of heat down her neck to her collarbone, and Shepard shuddered with the contact of Liara's hand on her breast. Shepard hooked her leg around Liara's hip, pushing her lover closer, wanting more of her body along her own. Liara's leg pressed against the wet heat of Shepard's sex, and she cried out in response. She felt Liara gently bite into the soft flesh of her neck, and Shepard responded by moving her hips upwards, catching Liara in an equally sensitive spot. Their lips meet again, and Liara shifts her weight to one arm, as her other hand navigates its way down her side, to her hip, and finally to the one spot Shepard eagerly wanted her to be.

Shepard lets go for the first time in a long time. She cries out as Liara slowly stokes the fire that had simply needed a flame to burn bright once more. She feels Liara's mind pressing against her own, as Liara gradually finds herself with a need to meld. Shepard wraps her leg tighter around Liara, her hands on Liara's back and neck. As she slips close to the edge of oblivion, her senses becoming blurred and blending with the emotions of Liara, she feels her mind transition from one to two, as the last cobwebs are cleared out.


	59. A Favor House Atlantic

A/N: Traffic stats are working again! Thank you to everyone who is reading this story. Whether you've read it from day one, or are just now finding it (welcome!), thank you. It means so much to me that you're all enjoying it.

This mornings' chapter title comes from Coheed and Cambria. If you know the song, it fits this chapter pretty well.

Enjoy :)

* * *

"This feels weird."

"Well, when's the last time you sat still for a moment?"

"Uh… I don't know. Before I could crawl? But that's not what feels weird."

"What is it then?"

"The fact that I have to keep one eye closed and look through this eye piece that literally gives me no awareness of the rest of the field."

"Heh, I knew you wouldn't be able to beat me."

Shepard exhales, then holds her breath for a moment while she lines up the shot. Her finger hovers over the trigger, waiting for the target to come back into her field of vision. Tense seconds tick by, and finally she sees movement. Her trigger finger twitches, and the boom of a sniper rifle echoes through the space.

"I'd say that looks like I just beat you, Garrus." Shepard says with a smirk, stretching out her tired shoulders as she stands up. She presses the button to bring the target closer, raising an eyebrow at Garrus while she waits.

"That hardly even counts. It's just a paper target that popped up, not a real live enemy." Garrus replies as he tries his best to keep his tone of voice nonchalant.

"Oh how the mighty have fallen. King of the Bottle Shooters you may be, but King of the Paper Target you are not. That's a clean shot right between the eyes."

Garrus grabs the paper from the hanger, frowning with concentration as he stares at the bullet hole. Shepard laughs as she watches the way his face transforms from mock indifference to plain confusion.

"When did you say you last used a sniper rifle?"

"ICT training, ten years ago now. First and last time. I hate the damn things. All that sitting and waiting, cramped back muscles, tired arms from holding still for too long. Y'know what's way more fun than being a passive participant in battle? Actually being in the middle of everything." Shepard says as she snatches the paper from his talons. "I think I'm gonna put this target on the fridge in the mess hall."

"I think that was just a lucky shot, Shepard."

"I don't need luck, I have ammo. C'mon, let's go get a drink or something."

Shepard folds the paper up, stuffing it into her back pocket. She's still smiling as they leave the Spectre offices, and she can hear Garrus mumbling something to himself. She had initially been hesitant about going to the firing range, instead wanting to sulk her way through paper work and personnel meetings. It wasn't until Garrus had issued a challenge that she finally acquiesced. Now, she was glad to have come out, even if it meant hurting Garrus' feelings.

The embassies were full of people as Shepard and Garrus made their way through. She could hear over the noise the sound of news reports updating civilians on what was going on outside their doors. The people on this level aren't refugees; most of them live on the Presidium itself, and here and there a few Wards occupants roamed about. With the Reapers breathing down the necks of all species, even the elite of the galaxy are feeling the heat now. Voices are more urgent, more demanding. The clerks working the information desk looked more haggard and stressed out. Shepard felt for the clerks; being asked questions they don't know the answers to, trying to solve problems for those who just can't help themselves or their lost loved ones. Fortunately, Shepard mused, her problems could usually be solved by firing a gun.

"Hey, what about Flux? We haven't been there in a while. Or maybe Chora's Den. You think it's still open for business?" Garrus asks as they approached the elevator.

"It's up to you buddy. You lost the bet, so you're buying. Although now that you're not a penniless vigilante, you can probably afford the good stuff hey?" Shepard says with a smile.

"Yeah, the good dextro stuff. I honestly have no idea what qualifies as 'good' to you humans. But we'll figure it out once we get to Chora's Den."

"You spoil me."

"I know. It's a problem. Just don't tell Liara. I don't need to be flayed alive."

Shepard smiles, pressing the button for the elevator. They take the ride down to the Wards in companionable silence, and Shepard leans against the wall of the elevator, closing her eyes for a moment. It felt nice to just relax, and spend time with someone who didn't ask anything of her. Most of her crew worked the same way; self-sufficient, intelligent, and able to make decisions with little direction. But her newer crew members still stared at her with a look of amazement. She could practically smell the hero worship when she walked into a debrief with only new crew. Her old comrades were like a breath of fresh air. Garrus, Kaidan, Chakwas, Liara and Joker knew what was expected of them. Since becoming a Spectre, Shepard had stood fast to the idea that the people she had working for her were at their posts for a reason, so she wouldn't micro-manage. The tactic hasn't failed yet, and her team is able to make executive decisions with freedom. It allows her to focus on the more important things, like Reaper killing, without having to worry that someone on the ship wouldn't be able to make a decision without her.

The elevator stops its slow descent, and Shepard opens her eyes. The doors open to the Presidium, but a part of it she'd never been to before. She looks at Garrus, the question of 'where' on her face.

"Well, I thought that we'd try something new. You were having a nap, and I didn't want to bother you." Garrus says sarcastically as he exits the elevator. Shepard follows with a laugh.

"I wasn't napping; I was reflecting on my crews' ability to make sound decisions under pressure with minimal direction from their Commanding Officer. Apparently, you can do that."

"That's what I'm here for, Shepard. I do the thinking so you can do the shooting."

"Well, I wouldn't go that far. Although I do believe one of us is a better shot."

"Yeah yeah. Laugh it up, Shepard."

* * *

o.o.o

Shepard grabs her coffee from the dispenser, the paper target taped to the fridge catching her eye. She smiles at her victory as she takes a sip of coffee. They had come back to the Normandy an hour ago, Shepard laughing and Garrus rolling his eyes as she ceremoniously taped the silhouette of a person to the fridge.

"Goddess, why is that there?" Liara asks as she turns the corner from her quarters.

"Oh this? This is just a reminder for Garrus every time he walks through, that I am the best sniper in the galaxy."

"But you don't like sniper rifles, or having to use one."

"That is correct. But I'm willing to overlook my mild discomfort if it means I can beat Archangel."

Liara smiles, and turns on the kettle. As if some unknown dinner bell had sounded through the ship, crew members start filing into the mess hall, grabbing trays and making their way towards the food dispenser. Shepard makes her way to a table, watching her people file in as she sits down. Her debrief with Hackett half an hour ago had provided a new order involving shore leave. While Shepard hadn't been happy about the diversion, she could understand Hackett's order. The people around her were happy enough, but they were in serious need of a rest. It has been three months now that they've been fighting this war, with only a brief shore leave at the beginning of the tour. Since then, the fighting has only gotten harder, with more and more families dying. Kaidan hadn't reported any mutterings of mutiny, but Shepard knew that if she pushed these people any harder, they might seriously consider complaining.

Tea in hand, Liara joins Shepard at the table. James and Cortez had made their way up, and join Shepard and Liara. Soon enough, their table is full. Tali, Garrus, and Joker have joined them. Kaidan was grabbing an MRE, before squeezing into place beside Cortez. Javik was nowhere to be seen, but that didn't surprise Shepard. It didn't take long for everyone to finish dinner; the faster you ate the automatic food, the less time it had to cool, and congeal into something unspeakable. At least with dessert, you were almost guaranteed that the brownie wouldn't shape shift.

"So, what's on the docket Lola? Feels like we're just drifting through space."

"Yeah, we're not pirates, right Shepard? Because I'd make a terrible pirate."

"No, we're not pirates Joker. And to answer your question James, we have orders now. I was beginning to think Hackett forgot about us."

"Is it possible for him to forget about sending us into certain death?" Joker asks sarcastically.

"Well, for once he isn't. But the rest I'll have to debrief you guys on in private. Kaidan, Garrus, meet me in the debriefing room in twenty minutes. Li, I'd like you there too."

Shepard can feel Liara watching her, and knows the exact question she will ask. A few of the other crew members appear to have heard as well, and are doing their best to seem like they're not eavesdropping. While the news isn't exactly bad, she didn't want it spread around like wildfire, especially considering things change at a moments notice.

Twenty minutes later, on the dot, and Shepard is in the debriefing room with her team.

"EDI, can you patch in Joker? I want him to know what's going on too."

"Yes Commander."

"Alright, so orders from Hackett are to go on shore leave, effective immediately. I've requested though that the Normandy be allowed to divert to Sanctuary prior to that occurring, and Hackett has agreed. Not that he can say no if I pull the Spectre card, but I didn't make it this far without compromise."

"So we'll be heading to Sanctuary soon then?" Kaidan asks.

"Yeah, I'd like to be ground-side ASAP. Joker, what's the ETA from here to the Iera system?"

"Looks like the flight should take approximately twelve hours."

"Great, Joker plot that course and get us out there."

"Yes ma'am."

"Alright, so that means we'll have boots on the ground tomorrow. I want all of you with me on this mission. If Liara's reports are accurate, this is really really bad."

"What are we looking at there, Shepard?" Garrus asks as he folds his arms in front of him.

"Not sure, but it's come to light that it's a Cerberus facility. What they are doing, and what the point of the place is, is still an unknown. People are going missing, and it's entirely probable, given his interactions with the Reapers, that the Illusive Man has fucked up millions of lives with this venture."

Shepard watches the three of them process the information. Kaidan looks the most shocked, having entertained the idea of sending his mom to Sanctuary. Fortunately for both of them, that had not happened. Liara was quiet and calm, the information Shepard is providing was not news to her. Garrus simply twitched his mandibles, most likely trying to choose which weapon he should bring with him.

"So that's the plan. I want to keep shore leave between us right now, at least until we're back from Sanctuary. I don't want to get everyone's hopes up, especially since we're walking into a Cerberus facility. Any questions?"

"No ma'am." Kaidan replies. Garrus and Liara shake their heads.

"Good. Dismissed."


	60. Sanctuary

A/N: Fun fact of the day: I am now a registered beta reader, so if you need/want help, check out my beta profile and send me a PM!

Enjoy!

* * *

The Cerberus facility was all but destroyed by the time their boots hit the ground. The first thing Shepard had noticed was the smoke billowing out from the roof, and the crumpled outline of a Kodiak all but melted by flames. Her squad had been quick to point out the bodies of Cerberus troopers littering the ground, interspersed by Reaper troops. Shepard had smiled in a grim sort of way; _it's about time they started killing each other._ The downfall was that Shepard had no one to shoot at. Cannibals lay dead around her, one Cerberus trooper was impaled on a beam of metal that had fallen from the ceiling, and blood covered the floor. All while a brilliant warm sun lit up the facility, and a blue cloudless sky provided a backdrop. Shepard found it unsettling. Moments later, she had sent Garrus and Kaidan ahead to scout out any resistance, while she ran scans of the facility. Liara stood at a console to her left, uploading the facility information to her omni-tool.

"All I can get from this console is admittance information. It's a long list of all refugees who have come into the facility." Liara said with a note of sadness.

"Well, upload it anyways. We can forward it to Hackett and the Council. Maybe they can locate some of the families. It might give them some closure."

"Are we already assuming everyone who came here is dead?" Liara asks, making eye contact with her commander.

"Yeah, we are. You saw the entrance, Li. There's no way there's any refugees still here." Shepard replies. She opens up her comm with a frown. "Garrus, come across anything interesting?"

"Negative, Commander. Just a bunch of dead bodies. The scenery sure is nice though, given all this death. We were so close to finally going somewhere nice."

"Well, if there's one thing Cerberus is good at, it's hiding the truth behind a pretty picture. Liara and I are almost done here, we'll meet you at the rendezvous point. Shepard out."

Shepard waited for a few moments while Liara finished her upload. The unsettling feeling of this place was putting her on edge, and the cheery sound of the overhead speakers, combined with an almost utopian cityscape surrounding her, wasn't helping. As they walked towards the rendezvous point, Shepard also couldn't help herself from worrying for Miranda. Liara had told her that both her and Feron had landed the day before, with Feron leaving shortly after on another Broker mission. With Miranda alone in a place ravaged by Reaper troops, Shepard couldn't help but feel anxious.

Meeting up with Garrus and Kaidan, Shepard notices that they are both standing in front of a prone Cerberus scientist who appears to be alive. Blood was pouring from a wound on his leg, and his face was a mask of pain.

"Just tell us if there are any survivors, and we'll give you some medi-gel and send you on your way. Otherwise, my turian friend here might do some calibrations with your brain. Using his gun."

"Fuck you."

"I'm trying to be nice. It's a simple question: are there any survivors left in this place?"

Shepard watches the scientist wince in pain as Garrus applies pressure to his leg with his foot. The scientist clearly wasn't interested in divulging any secrets, however he was at a distinct disadvantage. He catches sight of Shepard and Liara approaching, his face paling in response.

"I don't care who you bring here, I'm not telling you anything." the scientist says, avoiding Shepard's green gaze. His voice sounded less confident, and Kaidan jumps on the advantage.

"You mean Commander Shepard? I'm sure she'd love to speak with you. Of course, the Commander is going to be a lot less nice than he will be." Kaidan says nonchalantly, motioning to Garrus.

"I don't know, Major. I can be pretty convincing." Garrus states, pressing harder on the man's leg.

The scientist cries out, and catches Shepard's eye once more. She stares at him impassively, and can see that he is registering familiarity. She runs a scan with her omni-tool to search for hostiles, pretending to ignore the scene in front of her.

"This is all because of you, Shepard." the man says quietly, drawing her attention back. "If it wasn't for the Illusive Man's strange desire to bring you back to life, this facility wouldn't even exist. There wouldn't be thousands of dead civilians." he says as he coughs, blood spattering on the white tile. Shepard remains expressionless, but her mind starts processing his statement.

"What do you mean?" Kaidan asks, and Garrus removes his foot.

"The data that was used for Project Lazarus. We used the backbone of that research to establish this facility. We…" another coughing fit wracks through his body, pausing his information.

"What is this place?" Shepard asks once he regains his breath. Her voice is cool and unaffected by his pained words.

"We used that information to try and… modify… different species. We figured that we were successful with you, why not try and modify something else?" he replies as he gingerly moves to a sitting position.

"To what end?" Kaidan asks, his voice changing from interrogation to horror. Shepard's omni-tool beeps an alarm, showing a hostile moving in on their location.

"Damnit, get to cover. Contact!" she orders, and everyone moves, leaving the scientist leaning against a broken down desk. "Garrus, hostile is on high ground. Ready your sniper."

"Yes ma'am."

A shot rings out, and the blip on her visor starts to retreat, backing out the way it came. Shepard glances around, and sees a red dot slowly oozing blood in the middle of the scientist's forehead.

* * *

o.o.o

"I don't know, Shepard. You did it once on Tuchanka, but then you didn't have to kill them. Here we're… what do you humans say?"

"Shit out of luck?" Kaidan replies in a whisper.

"Yeah. That."

"I know, but we don't really have an option. Those brutes are blocking the doors we need to go through. The only advantage we have is surprise, so we might as well use it." Shepard responds. Three massive brutes roamed the hall of a destroyed science lab, their chest pounding and low growling filling the quiet of the space.

"You can charge at one of them, which will keep it fairly distracted. The tactic works well. Kaidan and I can detonate as many biotic explosions on the other to bring it down, and Garrus can take the third?" Liara provides.

"That's a sound plan Shepard. And hey, maybe going toe to toe with a brute will win me back my self-respect." Garrus says with a shrug. Shepard smiles at the memory of the paper target hanging on the fridge.

"Alright, well, that's probably our best bet. The biotic explosions should make short work of that second brute. The instant he is dead, you two focus fire on Garrus'. Fire at will once I've made contact." Shepard orders, and motions her team into a flanking position. She crawls to the left, her team to the right, and she waits for one of the large abominations to distance itself from the rest. Tense minutes tick by while she waits, her amp charging up in preparation of releasing 750 neutrons of pure biotic energy into the unsuspecting mass of the brute. Her target slowly draws away, its attention drawn to something behind a glass wall, and she charges.

Flashes of blue radiate outwards, and Shepard feels the energy and mass of her own body make contact with brute. Out of the corner of her eye, she catches more blue flashes, and the distinct sound of Garrus' high-impact shot. A split second later, she is rolling out of the way of a massive claw coming down. It shatters the tile as it hits the floor, the brute howling in anger and surprise. Rolling away from the slow moving target allows her to get behind it, and she lets her amp cool down enough to draw on the power again. Slamming into the brute a second time, she jumps backwards and unloads a clip into it before its had a chance to spin back around. Taking the opportunity to take stock of the chaos around her, she sprints to the far end of the hall, the brute lumbering in her wake. She watches as Garrus narrowly misses being smashed beneath a claw, his dodge the only thing stopping him from becoming part of the floor itself. Shepard sees one brute crumple to the ground, Kaidan and Liara diverting their attention to helping Garrus. She feels the floor shaking below her, and registers that her brute was now charging. Drawing again on her biotic energy, she crashes directly into the abdomen of the charging brute, tearing away chunks of flesh and metal as she flies past it.

Moments later, Shepard and her team stand in the hallway, panting and covered in blood. Three brutes lay dead around them, empty thermal clips scattered amongst the bodies, and only a few minor flesh wounds on herself and her team.

"Good work everyone. Nice dodge, Garrus. I thought for sure you were done for." Shepard says as wipes blood off her assault rifle.

"That thing right there? Nah, it barely touched me. I'm not shit out of luck yet, Shepard."

Shepard laughs as she ships her rifle, and walks in the direction of one of the consoles protruding from the wall. "Yeah, glad you managed to keep your ass alive, Garrus. Now, maybe this console can tell us what the fuck is going on in this place. There's an awful lot of Reaper troops just to take out a genetic modification facility."

Shepard finds data files buried deep behind heavily encrypted firewalls. Between Liara and Garrus, they bring the firewalls down, and a series of logs open up for review. Shepard and her team listen as one by one, the logs are played. Slowly, the pieces start to come together. Snippets of research progress is intermingled with video footage of refugees being herded into small cells. Children are split from their parents in agonizing displays of distress, the children being led to separate parts of the holding area. Doors closing on stasis pods, and then slowly filled with liquid or gas. And before long, videos of scientists injecting refugees with a liquid in a long, sharp needle. Shepard unmutes the vid, wanting to hear what the purpose of the injection is. The cold, calculated voice of a Cerberus scientist plays through the speakers.

 _We injected subject 1056 with the liquid containing the genetically altered DNA. With any luck, the DNA extracted from the husk will blend well with the existing genomes in the subject's body. The ability to microinject the husk DNA into cells collected earlier from Subject 1056 will make this nearly undetectable by the subject's immune system and own cellular makeup. Previous test subjects either died or had no alteration made to their DNA. With this new method, I expect the husk DNA to fully infiltrate the test subject's own cells within a matter of hours, and allow full control of the subject within days._

"Am I hearing this right? Husk DNA injected into the refugees?" Garrus asks in horror.

"I assume not all refugees, only those capable of turning into husks themselves. It would have likely been humans injected with this particular modification." Liara provides.

"Wait, is this what they did to you? That scientist earlier said…"

"I heard what he said, Kaidan. And I don't know the specifics of the modification I had. I didn't think to ask. I can guarantee you it isn't fucking husk DNA though." Shepard snaps. She could feel the disgust of this place rising back up, the horrifying terms on which the refugees died was making her feel sick. She switches off the audio, and grabs her rifle again.

"I think it's safe to assume that we've either killed all of the refugees when we took out those husks, or they're no longer alive, wherever they ended up. We need to search the rest of this facility and then get the hell out."

* * *

o.o.o

Miranda slumps to the ground, the wound on her hip bleeding furiously. She watches with cold blue eyes as her father moves around the office, Oriana strategically placed in front of him the whole time. She could see the tears falling down her sister's cheeks, and felt an irrational rage sliding up her entire body. Her last attempt to free her sister from her father's grasp was rewarded with a gun shot that just narrowly missed her already injured hip. Her father was panicking, and she could see him faltering. He was becoming desperate, and that was dangerous for both her and Oriana. He grabbed papers and data pads, shoving them into boxes close by, and Miranda notices that his hands are shaking. She entertained the thought of shooting his hand, but discarded it when she noticed his frantic movements.

"All you had to do was leave well enough alone. But you didn't, and now the three of us are going to die here."

"No. Two of us are walking out in one piece." Miranda replies coldly.

"I knew the Illusive Man would turn his back on me. He ordered his troops out without even a shuttle left behind to get me off-world. And now I've got to deal with you and Oriana." he states, disregarding Miranda's comment in his haste.

Henry Lawson's eyes darted around the room, searching for a way out. They could all hear the gun fire outside the door, and knew it was either Cerberus or Reaper troops, and they were closing in fast. Miranda knew she might only have one shot to save her sister, even if it meant risking her own life. Miranda grabs the edge of the desk beside her, and slowly starts to pull herself up. Her body ached, her hip was still bleeding, but she wouldn't be the one to roll over and die when there was so much at stake.

"Stay away from me! Don't come any closer, or I will shoot you."

"Shoot me? I hardly think you'll shoot me. You worked so hard to create me, father dearest. You wouldn't want to see your precious craftsmanship bleed out in front of you, would you? That would be a terrible legacy to leave behind. Your dynastic wish would be turned to ash." Miranda replies, trying her best to keep her voice level. She sees a brief hesitation cross through Henry Lawson's eyes, his shaking hand holding the gun as it pointed at her abdomen. She watched the proverbial wheels spinning, and hoped he wouldn't call her bluff.

"Just give me Oriana and I'll let you leave. My shuttle is at the entrance to the facility." Miranda offers. The self preservation instinct visible in her father makes her sick. He loosens his grasp on Oriana, and shoves her at Miranda. She catches her sister, and watches her father grab his box of papers, his pistol still trained on her. He slowly moves towards the door, and Miranda almost laughs at him. He has no idea what's on the other side of the door, and a single pistol won't take down a banshee, let alone a group of husks. His perceived freedom is overruling logic. She didn't think it would be this easy.

Unfortunately for Henry Lawson, what he bumped into at the door was worse than a banshee. He opens the door, and walks face first into the black and crimson armour of Commander Shepard. In a flash, his wrist is wrenched painfully, and he drops his pistol. He is grabbed by his neck and propelled against a wall, the imposing vanguard blocking Miranda's view of him.

"Leaving so soon? I thought you could stay a bit, maybe have a chat with me."

Miranda does laugh now. A laugh full of surprise, gratitude, and a complete lack of sympathy for Henry Lawson. She suddenly finds herself being held up by Garrus, Liara applying medigel to the wound on her hip. Kaidan gently pulls Oriana to the side, and Miranda can feel herself being lowered to the floor. She hears the choking plead of help from her father, the low undertones of Shepard's voice, and Miranda slips into unconsciousness.


	61. Wildest Dreams

A/N: So, the end is drawing near. While it makes me feel anxious to think of writing that final scene where Cora Shepard saves the day, I only hope that I can do it some form of justice. On that note, I am looking for a song title for the Final Chapter. If anyone has any suggestions, send me a PM with the title and artist. Any song that you think epitomizes Cora, or the final battle on Earth, or just your favourite song that you think would fit the chapter, feel free to let me know.

One more thing: earlier today, I reached 20,000 views. I know that I could give you all a thousand pretty words in order to express how honoured and thrilled I am, but in this instance, I just want to say two simple words can speak volumes.

Thank you.

* * *

The mood on the Normandy is a sombre one. With the shore party back on board, news quickly spread throughout the ship of what had occurred on Sanctuary. Shepard and her squad were the only ones with detailed information, but her crew had quickly grasped the fact that thousands of civilians were tortured, altered, and killed in the name of Cerberus' brand of science. Kaidan and Chakwas quickly set up counselling sessions for crew members who were falling quickly into despair and hopelessness, and Shepard ordered that all personnel should report to Chakwas for a minimum of a one-hour session. As she walked through the CIC, Shepard realized the impact this war was having on her crew. Duty and responsibility were the only things holding her people together. And while she didn't dare speak it aloud, her crew were resembling husks of their former selves, listless and drifting through space with a tenuous grasp on their sanity.

"Commander? Admirals Hackett and Anderson are available on the QEC for you." Traynor advises as Shepard makes her way through.

"Thanks Traynor. How are you holding up?" she asks, leaning against the railing of the galaxy map. Traynor looks startled by the question, and Shepard can tell she is forcing herself to think clearly instead of just processing requests by memory.

"Oh, you know… I'm fine I suppose. If you've got a minute, I'd like to talk to you. I mean, I know I just said that the Admirals are waiting, but – "

"It's fine, Traynor. What did you need?"

Traynor steps back from her console, and wrings her hands together, searching for the words.

"I just wanted to thank you, for bringing Miranda back safely. I know that you wouldn't have done any less, but thanks, nonetheless. What she would have gone through to get to her sister… I don't know how she did it." Traynor says, a look of awe mixed with stress showing on her face.

"I'm not sure either, but I intend to find out when she wakes up." Shepard replies. With a small smile, she continues. "She's a hell of a woman, and trying to stop her from achieving her goal is like trying to stop a charging krogan by throwing a tennis ball at it. But regardless, you're welcome. I'm sure she'll have one hell of a story to tell us."

Traynor smiles, "Yeah, I'm sure she will. Anyways, I'm sure I've taken up enough of your time Commander."

Shepard nods, and makes her way to the QEC. Before long, she watches the grainy blue images of Hackett and Anderson materialize. She salutes, and instinctively stands at parade rest.

"Commander, good to see you. I've got Anderson patched in, but I don't have a lot of time. I received your briefing of Sanctuary; what the hell was the Illusive Man doing down there, and why?"

"Not sure, Admiral. We got as much information as we could from the consoles and data pads lying around. Liara's putting together a more comprehensive look at what the scientific methods were. As to 'why', that I can't answer. I can theorize it's because he's a sick megalomaniac who likes to subvert science."

"No kidding. Good work down there regardless, Shepard. That couldn't have been easy." Anderson adds.

"What information were you able to glean from Henry Lawson?" Hackett asks.

"He gave us a location for the Illusive Man's base. Whether it's accurate or not remains to be seen. Other than that, he didn't give me a whole lot to work with. He's interested, I think, in saving his own ass, so you shouldn't have a hard time getting more information out of him."

"I agree. He seems pretty keen on making it out alive, whatever the cost to his 'allies'. We'll get him to talk, Commander. I know you understand the value of a high priority person of interest, but I'm glad circumstances allowed you to keep him alive."

"I was tempted, sir. But his information on the Illusive Man will be invaluable."

"Agreed. In any event, you've managed to set the stage for the final push to Earth. That being said, your orders are still to dock at the Citadel and take leave."

Shepard frowned. "Sir, with all due respect, we have the coordinates for the Illusive Man's base. N7 operation missions are completed, and for once since starting this shit show, there's only one thing left to do. With your permission, I would like to head to the base and get Cerberus out of this war."

"Permission denied, Commander. I know you don't need me to tell you this, but I will anyways. You, and your crew, need a break. The Normandy needs repairs. What you and your team have been through in the last few months would have mentally and emotionally destroyed anyone else. I have no doubt that your crew are at that point." Hackett said. Shepard understood the logic of the order, but she didn't agree with it. She had to bite her tongue in order to not argue.

"Understood, Commander?"

"Yes sir."

"Good. I need to get back to it. I want you docked at the Citadel ASAP. Hackett out."

The image of Hackett disappeared. Anderson remained, smiling slightly.

"Shepard, I know I've told you this before, but damn are you like me twenty years ago. I know you don't agree with the order. I can't say as I blame you. But I do know that Hackett is right. You need a clear head to win this war, and you're not going to get it by staying out there and continuing to fight."

"I know. It's just that I can see the end, Anderson. It's right there, and I just want to get it over with and get on with my life. No more politicking, no more Reapers, and no more Cerberus."

"Well, as long as you're in the military, you'll have politics. Regardless, you have your orders. And this will give Hackett and his team a chance to get more information out of Henry Lawson. We don't even know if the coordinates are good yet. Give us time, Shepard. Get you and your crew to the Citadel and rest up."

Shepard sighed, processing the words. Anderson is right, of course. Henry Lawson could have been saying anything to save his skin. Hackett would send a small op's team to investigate the coordinates, and depending on the outcome, might still have to interrogate Henry Lawson further. It would take a couple of days at least, and Shepard couldn't help feeling guilty, but ultimately, orders are orders.

"Alright. I'll get Joker to plot us a course and we'll head right there."

"I knew you'd come around, Shepard."

"I can't really say no, can I?" she replies with a smirk.

"No, I don't suppose you can't. Anyways, I need to get going. We've got a bunch of volunteers and refugees making their way here, and I need to organize them. Send me a message when you've arrived at the Citadel. I've got a gift for you."

"Yes sir." Shepard says with a salute. The image of Anderson fades away, and Shepard can hear him doling out orders before the feed is cut.

With her briefing complete, Shepard heads towards the cockpit.

* * *

o.o.o

"Hey Commander." Joker says as Shepard arrives. "So, where are we headed?"

"Orders are to go to the Citadel." Shepard replies, flopping down into EDI's vacant chair.

"We are taking shore leave? I thought that with the Illusive Man's base on the docket, we'd be heading there." Joker says, and he realizes a fraction of a second too late that he sounded much too excited. Fortunately, Shepard doesn't seem to notice his relief at not charging into a fight.

"I had wanted to, but Hackett ordered otherwise. And he's right. I wanted to keep going, to push farther ahead, but there's no sense in dragging everyone into exhaustion. Not that everyone isn't there already."

Joker watches Shepard tip her head back, resting it against the seat. He waits for a moment to see if she'll continue, but instead she seems content to watch the stars flash by.

"Well, let's be honest Shepard. You and the ground team, of all people, need a break the most. Us ship folks, we just sit here and press buttons all day. We don't get shot at, or knocked around. Hell, if I spent my days running and firing a weapon, I'd need a break too."

"Considering you can't run, I'd say so." Shepard replies with a smile.

"Yeah, well there's that too. But you know what I'm saying. The Illusive Man isn't going anywhere. He's cocky and overconfident, so we won't lose his trail now."

Joker waits, and watches as Shepard brings her knees up to her chest, folding her arms around them. It surprises him, in that moment, to see Shepard look so small. The normally formidable commander has such a presence to her, an authoritative control of any room she walks into. But now, she just looks like someone who wants to crawl into a hole and wait for this storm to blow over. He turns his attention back to his monitor, inputting a flight path that will take them back to the Citadel. A sneaking feeling crawls into the pit of his stomach, that if Shepard doesn't have the will to finish this, they were all doomed. For the first time in three years, Joker wishes that someone else was leading this charge, just so that Shepard could have a life free from the chaos that has found her.

"I'm just so tired, Joker." Shepard says, whisper quiet. For a moment, he isn't sure if she actually spoke the words, or if he imagined them. He glances over, and sees her sitting with her head on her arms, her chest moving as she sighs. He doesn't know what to say; he knows that there is nothing he can say to make her less tired, or less stressed out. As if resolving herself to the fact that she has to move, Shepard lifts her head up, and slowly stands up.

"Can you open up the ship-wide comm, please? I need to let my people know what's going on."

"Sure thing, Commander."

* * *

o.o.o

With coffee and tea in hand, Shepard makes her final stop before she'll allow herself to rest. The med-bay doors open quietly, and she walks into the dimmed room. She can hear the sound of the heart monitor behind the drawn curtain, her steps matching the rhythmic beeping. Peering in, she sees Miranda sitting up slightly, data pad in hand.

"Hey you." she says quietly.

"Hey yourself." Miranda responds, setting the data pad down on her lap.

"I was hoping you'd be awake. I can come back later though if you want to rest some more."

"It's alright. I think four hours of sleep is quite enough anyways."

"A whole four hours? Easy there, Lawson. Don't sleep your day away." Shepard replies with a grin. She pulls up a chair beside the bed with her foot, easing into it in order to not spill the drinks. "I brought you a tea. Liara offered up some of her Thessian blend, she thought you'd like it."

"That's sweet of you, thanks." Miranda says with a smile, taking the spicy tea from Shepard. They sit in companionable silence for a moment, neither one wanting to broach the topic of what had happened at Sanctuary. Shepard still has her concerns that Miranda is less than impressed about her father being handed over to the Alliance. Miranda had regained consciousness in the shuttle on the way back to the Normandy, and Kaidan and Garrus had to shove Henry Lawson behind them in order to protect him from Miranda's biotic threats. The image of a pissed off Miranda cursing at the terrified man actually brought a smile to Shepard's face.

"What are you smiling about?" Miranda asks, her own lips forming a smile in response.

"Just the image of you trying to get at your father, your leg all bandaged up, your biotics unstable because of the pain meds."

"I'm sure it was the picture of grace and elegance, Commander. I appreciate you being able to laugh at it."

"That wasn't the only funny part. It was actually funnier watching Garrus and Kaidan flinch every time you moved. I think they're a bit scared of you." Shepard says with a laugh.

Miranda laughs in response, shifting up in the bed. She winces in pain as her leg moves, but waves off Shepard's attempt to help.

"It's fine. I'm just not used to… this." Miranda says, motioning at the room in general. "I don't end up in hospital beds, Shepard. At least I won't be in this position long."

"Chakwas says that the wound was bad, Miri. You can't heal that quick, can you?" Shepard asks in surprise. She feels a knot form in her stomach at the thought of Miranda leaving to go traipsing through the galaxy alone again.

"Well, quicker than most, but Chakwas is right. It is bad. In case it needs to be said, don't get too close to a banshee."

Shepard involuntarily shudders. Since Lesuss, she's had a deep seated trepidation of the monsters. Hearing the high pitched scream always makes her skin crawl. Knowing that Miranda was in close quarters with one didn't help the feeling of anxiety Shepard still felt when she thought of Miranda going through that base alone. Anger at the near loss replaces the anxiety quickly.

"Fuck, Miranda. What the hell were you thinking, going in there alone? I have gotten too close to a banshee, and let me tell you, my armour was the only thing that saved my life. You weren't wearing any armour. You could have died in there." Shepard states, looking at Miranda directly.

"What else was I supposed to do? Ring you up and ask for help?"

"Yes, that's exactly what you're supposed to do."

"Really, Shepard…" Miranda says as she rolls her eyes.

"Don't 'really, Shepard' me. You know that was dangerous. God Miranda, if I lose you too, I'll be pissed." Shepard says emphatically, and watches as Miranda's cheeks colour. "What, you don't think I care? You're one of the few people in this entire galaxy that mean a lot to me. I'm losing my friends at a ridiculous rate. I don't want to lose any more."

Shepard watches Miranda scan her face, her eyes losing the nonchalance, and changing to a look of sorrow.

"I'm sorry, Shepard. I knew I could do it on my own, but I didn't mean to make you worry. I had to do it myself, I had to confront my father on my own. I've run from him my entire life; I couldn't just let him walk away again. And when I found out what he was doing in that place, I knew that he wouldn't be getting away with it."

"Well, he sure as shit isn't going to be getting away with anything now. Alliance brass will keep him on a very short leash."

"You should have let me kill him, Shepard. Or have done it yourself. It makes me sick to know he's still alive." Miranda says, and Shepard hears the anger she knew had been brewing.

"Miri, you know he'll face a trial once Hackett's team is done with him. He won't be breathing free air again, that's for damn sure."

"No, because I'll kill him if he ever does."

Shepard holds back a smile at the vehemence of the statement, knowing without a shadow of doubt that Miranda's threat isn't idle. She takes a sip of her coffee, watching Miranda settle back down into the pillows.

"Just promise me that if you ever find the urge again to walk into a Cerberus facility that's filled with Reaper troops, you'll let me help you." Shepard says after a moment.

"I promise. Though I doubt it will happen again any time soon." Miranda replies with a small yawn.

"I should go. I didn't realize it was so late, and Chakwas will probably kill me if she finds out that not only did I keep you away from your beauty sleep, but I also got mad at you. I've given my room to Oriana while you're here, and you're welcome to it as well if Chakwas lets you out of this bed."

Shepard stands up, but stops short when Miranda grabs her hand.

"Thank you." Miranda says simply, squeezing Shepard's hand gently.

"You're welcome. Glad you've come home for a bit, Lawson."

"Me too, Shepard."


	62. Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

A/N: Helllooooo! A brief comment: I have recently discovered an undeniable love for Dragon Age. I have no idea why those games were not in my life before now. Consequently, I haven't updated for a bit because DA:I. Sorry! But... here you go! It's part one of two for the Citadel DLC. Maybe three parts... depends on where the next chapter goes I guess.

Reviews and comments are always welcome :)

Enjoy!

* * *

Shepard wandered through the Sunset Strip, casually watching the flashing colours of billboards, and hearing the sounds of life as it teemed around her. She smiled slightly, reflecting on the fact that as far as shore leave was considered, hers had started pretty much the same way her life in general tended to go; running, jumping, gunfire, and death. If she were to be honest with herself, she was unsurprised by the fact that Cerberus had made a clone of her. _Who wouldn't want more than one juggernaut of destruction?_ The downside, of course, was that Cerberus had the other juggernaut of destruction. Seeing another version of herself, pointing a gun at Liara, threatening her entire team, had only served to ramp up Shepard's anger at Cerberus even more, and at the same time, pique her curiosity. How were they able to clone a perfect copy of her? How many more were there? The ensuing chase through the Archives, and the eventual death of the clone, had Shepard wondering if she really was awake, or maybe this was all an elaborate dream. At more than one point, she doubted that any one person had the literal insanity that was her life.

The Citadel Civilian Board of Directors, the Council, and the general population had been less impressed than Shepard at the feat of human engineering. Damage to the Citadel from the Normandy's main guns was substantial, with whole city blocks having been levelled. An irate Sparatus had messaged her directly, demanding to know why the first human spectre had suddenly gone rogue. Shepard had responded by having Wrex take a picture of her beside a hologram of Sovereign, while mocking Sparatus' air quotes, and attached the picture in her response. While funny at the time, Hackett later messaged her stating "Sending a picture to the Turian councillor that just has the words 'because Reapers' as the reply will not help to improve tensions." Liara had intervened, and was now working to smooth things over with the Council. The fact that the entire Normandy abduction had been recorded was enough to ease the Council's mind over Shepard's moral status, and that EDI was also able to provide data up to the point she was shut down was a win as well. Shepard just shrugged it off as another day at the office, and with Liara's assertion that she would calm things down, Shepard took the day to herself.

Walking through the crowd, Shepard heard murmurs of genuine loss regarding the rather fancy sushi restaurant, and also noted a few pointed stares in her direction. At first she summed it up to the fact that she had, indeed, ruined their restaurant by falling through the floor. She soon realized though that the glances and whispered tones were for another reason altogether. People were recognizing her. It had less to do with the murder of marine creatures, and more to do with the fact that by now, her face was plastered across every media outlet and on every Alliance recruitment poster. Word was spreading, at an alarming rate, what the great Commander Shepard was doing out in the infinite expanse of space. Wars were being won, or altogether stifled. Alliances made, species saved. All of this was garnering hope for a society that didn't dare dream of such things. Conversations stopped when she walked by, and the memory of entering Alliance HQ all those months ago began to surface. Back then, Shepard had seen posters and placards calling for the arrest and execution of The Butcher. People had thronged around her, spitting foul words in an endless stream of hatred and malice. She felt trepidation bubble up in her throat at the thought of these people turning on her. There were no marines as backup, James was nowhere to be seen, and she _highly_ doubted the Council would support more death, even in the name of self defense.

In an attempt to dodge the stares and eventual backlash, Shepard tried to divert her course through to the casino. At least there were guards in there to separate an angry, pitch fork bearing mob and herself. Before she could make it to the steps, she felt a gentle tug on her sleeve, and a small voice tentatively call out her name. Shepard stopped, and turned around to come face-to-face with a young asari.

"Commander Shepard?" the asari repeated, her expressive eyes holding out hope.

"Look kid, I know I've done terrible things, OK? I'm just trying to get out of here."

The asari tilted her head to the side, a frown forming over her face. Shepard looked at her again, really looked, and finally noticed the distinct lack of murderous fire. Glancing around at the few dozen other people who were watching, she didn't notice it in them either. With a dawning realization, Shepard slowly becomes aware of the fact that they aren't out to get her. She sees a look that she is familiar enough with by now; awe.

 _Ok, murderous mob I can deal with, ideally by running away. But what the fuck do I do with this?_

"Commander Shepard, I just wanted to say… to say thank you. You saved my mother and sister on Thessia. They were providing medical support for Lieutenant Kurin's team at the main barricade. My mother told me that after you cleared the bridge, a transport was able to land to take non-essential personnel out of the hot zone." the asari finally said, tears brimming in her eyes. Shepard struggled to remember any of the other faces that were on that bridge, and found herself unable to. She hadn't even realized there were medical personnel there.

"Oh. Well, I'm glad I was able to help your family." Shepard managed, the discomfort of the situation still urging her to flee.

The young asari smiled, and a tear rolled gently down her cheek, "It's not just my family, Commander. You've saved thousands of people. Mothers and daughters reunited, lovers enclosed in each other's embrace once more, entire cities liberated because of your actions. You have no idea what you mean, to all of us."

Shepard stares at the woman in front of her, her heart beating more quickly than the situation warranted. In all her years of service, never once did civilians give her the benefit of the doubt. Instead of letters of thanks, she used to get death threats. Instead of genuine appreciation, she would get slammed into the mud by reporters. She had gotten used to enveloping herself around her ideals and decisions, because they tended to make people riot, not rally around her in awe. She rationalized her decisions and actions, telling herself they were for the good of many, even if it meant sacrificing the few. All of her years of training and guarding herself have left her woefully underprepared for this situation.

"Uh, Shep? I know she's pretty, but you can't just stare at the nice lady all day." comes a voice at Shepard's elbow. Apparently, in the time she has spent gawking at the crowd, Kasumi had materialized, and was smiling widely at Shepard's inability to form words.

"Sorry, I'm just not used to this." Shepard says, directing her attention back to the asari. "I'm really bad at this kind of thing… but you're welcome. I appreciate you telling me that." She finishes with a small smile. The asari nods, and moves aside. Kasumi gently takes hold of Shepard's elbow and pulls her in the direction of the casino.

"Wonders never cease. I didn't think I'd ever see you at a loss for words." Kasumi says quietly.

"Fuck, did you see how many were out there? I'm not going to be able to leave my apartment." Shepard replies, a mix of horror and anxiety colouring her words. Kasumi laughs in response, and ushers Shepard towards the bar.

"That's how I knew where to find you. I just followed the crowds."

* * *

o.o.o

"What do you think about this colour?"

"It's the same colour you just showed me, isn't it?"

"No, Garrus, that was mauve. This one is lavender. Whatever that means." Tali responds, tilting her head at the strange human word.

Garrus exhales. He's been shopping with Tali for what felt like hours, and not once had they been to a gun shop. He clutched multiple shopping bags of dextro teas and food, as well as a plethora of seemingly unnecessary belts and fabric in his talons, and wondered to himself why Tali needed so many things. And now, once again, he has found himself in another high-end shop looking at another endless stream of colours that quite frankly all looked the same. He watches Tali examine each piece of fabric closely, and marvels at her ability to distinguish the colour difference. He is immensely thankful for all his years training as a sniper; at least he has built up a remarkable patience threshold. Finally, she appears to make up her mind, placing one purple coloured fabric down, and picking up a different one.

"Lavender it is!" Tali exclaims, and Garrus exhales a sigh of relief. With the fabric paid for, and her sizing given to the tailor, Garrus was finally permitted to leave the shop, with an excited Tali in tow.

"Are you sure that was the right decision? Spirits know, we can't have you picking the wrong purple." Garrus teases.

"You're right. Maybe we should go back and have another look..."

"No, no. It's the right colour. Please just keep walking." Garrus says with alarm, turning to look at Tali. She giggles in response, and hooks her arm around his. They walk for a few moments in silence, Tali sipping at the drink Garrus had dutifully held for her. They passed shop after shop containing all manner of guns, and Garrus watched them go by wistfully.

"You know it isn't about the colour, right?" Tali says, breaking Garrus out of his reverie of what he could do with that mark-4 silencer scope.

"You mean you could have picked that ugly yellow colour I chose at the first place we went to?"

"Ok, so it is partially about the colour. But mostly, it comes down to the fact that I can choose, Garrus."

"I don't understand."

Tali stops in a quiet corner of the promenade, overlooking the wards below.

"When I first came to the Citadel, I couldn't walk through those wards without fear of being mugged, murdered, or equally unsavoury things. Shop keepers chased me away from their windows, when all I was doing was looking. I went hungry so many nights, sometimes I even debated whether I should try human food just to ease the hunger pains, or at least have a different kind of pain that wasn't hunger." Tali pauses, and leans against the railing. Garrus places the shopping bags down, and mimics her pose. "I was constantly doing suit repairs with scraps, because I couldn't buy anything new. And even if I had the credits, no shop keeper would let me in anyways, for fear I would turn into a geth and take control of their shop or something. But now… now I have the option. Sure, some people still look at me funny, but it doesn't hurt anymore. I know that I have a place in this galaxy now, and I am helping those who cannot help themselves. It might be a difference between mauve and lavender - or purple and lighter purple - to everyone else. But to me? To me it means something."

Garrus watches Tali tilt her head as she watches the sky cars shoot past underneath them, her voice quiet and calm. He regards the woman beside him with a love he has not felt in a long time. To see her grow from the skittish little thing on the Normandy SR-1, to the unofficial Quarian Ambassador made his heart fill with pride.

"I suppose you'd like to go to a gun shop now?" Tali says as she looks over at him.

"Nah, they can wait. Let's go pick out more colours."

* * *

o.o.o

Traynor, Joker and EDI walked slowly through the arcade, the debate of which game to play pushed aside in favour of lunch. For all his nonchalance, Traynor quickly learned that Joker was a terrible loser, and when she beat him Shattered Eezo for a second time in a row, she had serious doubts about his ability to remain her friend. He had finally given up trying to beat her only after EDI cautioned that he was at risk of fracturing his thumb on the controller.

"I wouldn't have fractured my thumb, EDI." he says with a grumble as the trio sit down at a booth.

"Jeff, do you not recall the time you fractured your thumb from pressing my mute button 29.5 times?"

"Wait, 29.5 times?" Traynor asks.

"That is correct. Jeff managed to depress the button only halfway before he did, in fact, fracture his thumb."

"Hey, back then you were way more annoying."

"I was logical."

"Yeah, like I said. Way more annoying." Joker says, and Traynor laughs at the interaction. Other than Joker being a sore loser, their outing today has been quite enjoyable. With Miranda transferred to Huerta Memorial, and unlikely to get out for at least another two days, Traynor had been desperately searching for something to do. The Normandy was flooded with techs and engineers, all more than capable to repair the damage left by the mercenary group, and while she was in dry-dock, the Normandy wouldn't receive communications on-board. With EDI's insistence that Jeff told her to 'live it up like a girly girl', and the invitation for Traynor to join her, she just couldn't pass up the opportunity of watching an unshackled AI go shopping. Joker had come along, if only to get out for a bit, and to ensure he didn't end up bankrupt.

"How did you two go from constant hostility to actually forming a relationship?" Traynor asks once they had placed their order for lunch.

"Well, to be fair, it was mostly constant hostility on my part. EDI was just doing what she was programmed to do. I pretty much just hated the thought of an AI watching my every move, especially after what had happened with the geth and the rogue AI on Luna. If Shepard hasn't told you about that one, she should."

"I'm sure the fact that it was Cerberus tech didn't help the matter." Traynor provides.

"Well sure, that was part of it, although I was the one who signed up with them. I knew the risks, but I didn't think they'd plant an AI in the ship."

"The Illusive Man had a vested interest in protecting his assets." EDI supplies quietly.

Traynor watches the two, Joker reliving an unpleasant past, and EDI undoubtedly processing the positive feedback loops she would have received when denying the Illusive Man access to ship records. While onboard during the retrofits, Traynor had stumbled across dozens of status update requests from the Illusive Man, and every single one of them was denied by either Miranda or EDI. At the time, Traynor had been surprised that he had not sent an armada to deal with the Normandy and her mutinous crew. Now that she knew said crew though, she doubted the Illusive Man would have come out on top of that venture. If the Shadow Broker's base was any indication, the crew of the Normandy, and her Commander, were not to be crossed.

"Samantha, I have been reviewing proper protocol regarding human conversations, and I would like to say that I am very pleased that you and Miranda have engaged in a relationship." EDI says suddenly, and as if on cue, Traynor can feel herself blushing furiously. The sudden change of topic has caught her completely unaware.

"I think you might need to review that a little closer." Joker says with a laugh.

"What I mean to say, is that I am happy for you." EDI clarifies.

"Thanks, EDI. I appreciate that." Traynor replies. She attempts to hide her embarrassment by polishing off half her beer.

"Hey, no need to be embarrassed. Next to Shepard, you landed the hottest space diva this side of Andromeda."

Traynor stares at Joker, a small smile creeping across her lips. Now it was Joker's turn to blush, as his admission dawned on him.

"Ah shit. I did not mean for it to sound like that. Don't look at me like that, Traynor. I don't think of Shepard like that. She's my commander."

"Uh huh."

"Seriously. That sounded way different in my head."

"I am right here, Jeff."

"Shit. Ok, can we drop this please?" Joker implores, staring at Traynor pitifully. "Last thing I need is to get in trouble with my AI girlfriend. Wow, that sounds weird."

Traynor laughs, and nods her acquiescence. She raises her glass to propose a toast.

"To our space divas and AI girlfriends; may they always keep us on our toes."


	63. Millstone

A/N: Oh hi! Not a long one this time... I just wanted to wrap things up on the Citadel before what feels like the End of Days.

Enjoy :)

* * *

With the fog of sleep slowly lifting, Shepard makes a mental checklist to ensure all parts of her were still intact. While riotous drinking was not a foreign concept to her, the self-induced chaos has happened infrequently over the last few years. She slowly stretches out her arms above her head, noticing that her biceps were sore, as were her hands. She blinked a few times and tried to force the memory of 'why' to the forefront. She smiled when she remembered betting James she could kick his ass at chin-ups. From what she could recall, she had won. There was also a vague recollection of Garrus and Zaeed rigging her coffee pot and her hot tub, and she silently prayed that either they were joking, or that no one had made coffee yet.

Liara stirs at her side, and Shepard can feel the muddled, hazy mind as it crawls towards consciousness. Shepard herself could feel a slight hangover, and knew that if she sat up too fast, her head would complain furiously. But hers was nothing compared to what she felt emanating from Liara. She smiles as she folds Liara against her chest, and knows that no amount of tea was going to make her lover feel any better.

"Goddess, why do I let you talk me into this." Liara murmurs against Shepard's chest.

"Honestly, I have no idea."

"I feel like I was butting heads with Wrex all night."

"That may or may not have been the case. After you told him what clan you hail from, he was more and more certain of his admiration for you. Y'know, krogan admiration comes in the form of head butting." Shepard says with a smile.

Liara groans, and makes a feeble attempt at sitting up. Shepard watches Liara stretch her arms above her head, her muscles shifting and moving, with no material barrier between Shepard's gaze and Liara's blue skin. She traces a line down Liara's side, the skin forming goose bumps at the contact. Liara exhales and gives Shepard a sidelong glance, and Shepard smiles when Liara's eyes met hers. There is a brief moment of silence, and Shepard watches the rise and fall of Liara's chest as she leans back against the headboard, the sheets doing an admirable job of covering as little as possible. Liara's hand is trailing through Shepard's hair, and aside from the hangover, Shepard feels completely at peace.

"I want to wake up like this every morning." Shepard whispers. Liara slides back down beneath the covers, and lays down facing Shepard. "I want to wake up slowly, catch up on the news, make love to you, or just stay in bed till noon. I don't want to chase myself through archives, or blow things up."

"That's not true. You love blowing things up."

"Yeah, you're right. Ok, I'll still blow things up, but maybe I can have less enemies hell bent on my destruction. That would be all right by me. I want to try this whole 'normal life' thing people keep talking about." Shepard replies, running her hand down Liara's waist.

"I don't know what 'normal' is, Cora. I think we'd both be terrible at it." Liara says as she places a kiss against Shepard's collar bone.

"Well we could try. To everyone outside that door, I'm Commander Shepard; The big damn hero who was born in N7 armour while grasping an Avenger." Shepard says, mocking the tone of voice most news networks use to describe her. "I just want to be Cora for a bit. I want to wear fluffy slippers while I take our theoretical dog outside. Or go out to see a vid without everyone recognizing me."

"You can be Cora with me." Liara replies softly, and Shepard feels Liara's hand ghost along her stomach. Her heart skips a beat, and she feels the familiar touch of Liara's curious mind paired with the gentleness of Liara's fingers on her skin.

"Yeah, I can." Shepard replies with a smile, and leans forward to kiss her lover.

* * *

o.o.o

"Morning Shepard."

"Hey Garrus. What's our situation down here? Did the coffee pot cause any major damage?"

"No. Given your need for coffee, and the murderous rage that follows when something blows up in your face, I thought it would be best if that particular bomb wasn't armed."

"And they say turians aren't smart. Where's everyone else?" Shepard asks, pouring herself a cup of coffee.

"Joker's trying to scrounge up some pain meds, Tali is running her nineteenth detox program on her suit in an attempt to feel better. Traynor is scanning the intranet feverishly. I think James and Jack are hitting things…"

"That sounds about right."

"And Kaidan and Cortez have yet to emerge from their room."

Shepard smiles slyly from behind her coffee cup, and leans against the kitchen counter.

"Other than that, everything is calm and quiet. Miranda was just here, but I think she's gone to do her hair or something."

Shepard nods, scanning the room as she takes another sip of her coffee. The apartment was surprisingly spotless, which was no doubt an effort between Garrus and EDI. Physical activity, followed by a long, hot shower had done wonders for her hangover, and Shepard sighed contentedly. She could almost forget the nagging feeling in the back of her mind, urging her onwards despite her present feeling of happiness. A knot formed in her stomach at the thought of being a Commander again, and ordering these people back to the ship. She pushed aside the thought as Liara entered the kitchen and the kettle clicked its completion. She was determined to stay normal for as long as she could.

"How's that for timing?" Shepard remarked as Liara poured the hot water into a cup.

"You never fail to impress, Shepard." Liara says with a satisfied grin.

"Damn right I don't."

"And so humble, too." Miranda says as slides into a chair beside Garrus.

"Spirits… Shepard, you couldn't have warned me she was right there?"

"Gotta keep you on your toes, Garrus." Shepard replies with a smile.

Before long, the kitchen was full. Sleepy stragglers made their way in, most of them much too loud for Joker's liking. Comments of the night's events were followed by laughter and crass remarks, and EDI helpfully offered to provide recordings to the ones who were adamant they did not do or say the things they were playfully accused of. Shepard watched silently, noticing the flush of Kaidan's cheeks when Cortez looked at him, and the way Tali bubbled with stories. Liara leans into her, and Shepard moves to put her arm around Liara's shoulders. She can feel the laughter and love in Liara's mind, but she knows that Liara was pushing aside the feeling of responsibility as well. With leave not over until the evening, they all had time still to be normal, and not worry about the days to come.

"Alright, lets do something about breakfast. You think there's a place that'll take us all in?" Shepard asks during a lull in conversation.

"Grunt told me about this noodle place he ate at." Traynor provides.

"Yeah, and I'm sure what Grunt didn't tell you about were the means by which he ended up at that particular noodle place." Shepard says with a laugh.

"Oh he did. Though I'm not sure how C-Sec managed to clear out ten burning transports without anyone noticing."

"It was one transport, Traynor."

"I could make us breakfast?" Kaidan offers.

"Oh no. I think we'll go out." Shepard says with a grin.

* * *

o.o.o

The docking bay was quiet during the night cycle, with civilians and military personnel either finding rooms or having been shipped out. The dimmed lights inside merely accented the lights outside, the nebula beyond the arms of the space station glowing a beautiful shade of purple. The lights of the buildings flickered and glowed along the arms, and sky cars left their trails of light in the dust that accumulated. Shepard leans against the railing, allowing her heart to build up its wall once more. She wasn't sure what would happen next. She didn't want to make a decision based off emotions. She hid her heart against what was to come, and watched the life below her as she prepared herself to fight for it.

"Hey you." comes a quiet voice as Miranda approached.

"Hey yourself."

"I thought I'd find you here. I wanted to say goodbye, I guess." Miranda says, leaning against the railing.

"Goodbye?" Shepard said, and felt her stomach lurch at the prospect.

"Hackett has requested that I join up with him and his fleet. I'm not so sure he feels entirely comfortable about it, but I think he realizes having an ex-Cerberus operative helping with the final push to Earth can't hurt. Plus, I believe the Shadow Broker gave me a shining recommendation."

"Huh. I had no idea. At least you'll be safe. Do you know what you'll be doing?"

"Not yet. I'm not part of the Alliance, so there's only so much he can give me access to. We'll see."

"Have you thought of becoming part of the Alliance?" Shepard asks. She watches Miranda frown with thought, but she knows it's more a matter of making a decision, and less a matter of if she's thought of it or not. Miranda is a lot of things, and the foremost is intelligent. The Alliance would offer her a world of possibilities, especially given Miranda's outrageous skill set. Shepard doesn't doubt the fact that Miranda has considered it, or even possibly been offered the opportunity to join.

"I have, yes. Fairly soon, the organization that held my strings will be all but dust, which will leave me in an interesting position. Technically, I'm a wanted criminal for working with a terrorist organization. Hackett knows this, and has asked for my help regardless. He is not a man to waste talents. When this is all over, the Alliance will need someone like me."

Shepard smiles at the comment. It wasn't gloating, it was just a fact. Miranda would be a huge asset to the Alliance, not to mention the fact that Shepard would then not have to worry anymore about Miranda running off to save the day on her own.

"Good. I'm glad you've considered it. Now if only I could convince Jack…"

"That'll be the day." Miranda says with a short laugh. "Anyways, my transport leaves shortly, so I don't have a lot of time. I wanted to say thank you. And that God help me, if you get yourself hurt, you will never hear the end of it."

Shepard watches Miranda's blue eyes scan her face. Her words were meant to be light hearted, but her tone suggested anything but. Shepard could see the fear and anxiety Miranda was holding on to, and suddenly found herself without words of encouragement. Miranda smirked at the silence, and pulled Shepard into a hug. Shepard closed her eyes, and desperately wanted to pretend that she would see Miranda again. That she herself didn't feel like she was walking the plank towards an untold doom.

"I need you to come back from this." Miranda says quietly. Shepard feels the hot sting of tears threatening to form in her eyes, and wills them back. Miranda breaks the contact, and smiles sadly before looking away.

"You too, Lawson. Don't go doing anything stupid."

"Yes, Commander." Miranda says, and with a final glance, makes her way towards the elevator. Shepard watches her go, and as the doors open, her crew file out as Miranda steps aside. Traynor stops to stand with Miranda as the rest of the crew walk towards her. A brief hug, a whispered word, and Miranda is gone, the metal doors sliding shut behind her.

"All present and accounted for, Shepard." Garrus says, bringing Shepard back to reality.

"You guys got everything you need? I doubt we'll be coming back here." Shepard asks, and is answered with nods and 'yes ma'ams'.

"Good. Let's get the fuck out of here and save the day."


	64. Taste of Blood

Shepard stood at the QEC, the grainy image of Admiral Hackett having disappeared moments ago. Her hand hovers over the call panel for a moment, and brief internal debate was followed by a swift entry of numbers. She subconsciously stood at parade rest, and tried to calm her breathing. She could feel the familiar surge of adrenaline that preceded a fight, her body prematurely preparing her for combat. A few seconds tick by as she waits for the communicator to connect. Shepard closes her eyes and waits.

"I love you, but damn do you look stressed honey."

Shepard opens her eyes, her gaze resting on the familiar face of her mother. The dark brown hair still tied neatly in a bun, intelligent and compassionate eyes as bright as ever. She's wearing her dress blues like she was born in them, and Shepard remembers a time when she was convinced of exactly that, since she never saw her mother out of them. Shepard provides a lop sided smile in response, and her shoulders lower slightly as she exhales, wishing for the briefest of moments that she could hug the woman in front of her.

"Hey mom. I know this isn't the best time to contact you. I just finished my debrief with Hackett, and I know you guys are mobilizing… I just didn't know if I'd have another chance before we get to Earth." Shepard says, and watches as her mom frowns in response. It was clear from the stance she was taking that Shepard had interrupted either strategic planning, or the providing of orders. Regardless of what Shepard interrupted, she knew that her mom always had a moment to spare.

"Cora, there's never been an opportune time for anything in this damn war, so you have to jump on the chance when it shows up. I'm glad you called. From what I hear, we're heading out to finally put a boot up the ass of Cerberus. You ready, kid?"

"Ready as I'll ever be." Shepard responds, and feels anxiety form at the answer.

"Well, you must be if we're doing this. You've never been one to go out unprepared." It was Hannah's turn to smile, and the look on her face changed from one of command, to the look of a mother. "Listen, I want to say this now without turning into a blubbering mess, though I can't promise anything. I want you to know that I'm so proud of you. The things I hear from Steven and David make my heart soar. I know you'll do your damnedest to get out, but I'm a soldier too, my girl. Or at least, I was at some point. I know what it means to go out into a fight. Can't say as I've ever saved the galaxy, but that seems to be your thing." Hannah says with another smile. Shepard can feel pinpricks behind her eyes, and knows that if her mom starts crying, she won't be far behind.

"What I'm trying to say is this: I love you, and I want to make sure you know that whatever happens, I will continue to love you until the end of time. When this is over, I expect you to report to the Orizaba to have a drink with me. If the worst should come to pass…" Hannah stops, her voice cracking. "Say hi to your dad for me, kid."

Shepard watches her mom work to keep her composure. She's a realist, and knows the risks of what they're about to do. Shepard herself knows the risks as well, and finds the words more comforting than any others that could have been spoken. It is in that moment that her sense of self-preservation is renewed. As she watches her mother's stoic persona, she knows then what it means to watch someone you love go into the unknown and never come back. And it is in that moment, that Shepard's mind is made up.

"I'll be coming back. The universe has already tried once to erase me from the picture. It's not going to be that easy again. When I'm done, there'll be no Reapers left, you'll see."

"I believe you. Now, that's enough of that. You know how I feel, and you know what you need to do. Go out there and give them hell."

"Yes ma'am." Shepard replies with a salute. The action is returned, and mother and daughter stand for one last moment before the feed is cut.

* * *

o.o.o

"Alright, lets run through this one more time. EDI, Liara and I will take the main route through the base. I don't know where the Illusive Man's lair is, but we'll have an idea of the schematics once we're on board. Garrus, you and your team will split off and infiltrate a secondary route once we can determine what that is. I imagine resistance will be heavy in the cargo bay, but with any luck, they'll run out of men and stop sending them at us for a moment. Failing that, we'll just have to split off when we are able. Your goal is to sabotage as many key systems as possible and plant the bombs to destroy the station. Understood?"

"Just like old times, Shepard. Planting bombs, splitting up… we'll get it done." Garrus responds dryly.

"I just hope there are no vents. They get hot very quickly." Tali quips, shuddering at the memory of the Collector base.

"I don't like the fact that we're going in blind, but EDI will be able to give us base information once we can get to a terminal." Shepard's words are punctuated by the shuttle rocking as Cortez dodges other space craft. Hackett's fleet permeates the space between the cloaked Normandy and the Cerberus base, providing more than enough of a distraction for the ground team to sneak in.

"Commander, we are being targeted. Looks like one of the Cerberus fighter pilots decided to look out a window. Taking evasive maneuvers, landing will be hot."

"Roger that, Cortez. All right people, lets get this done."

* * *

o.o.o

The shuttle crash landed into a launch bay filled with Cerberus troops. Even from their position of cover behind the shuttle, it quickly becomes apparent that there is no synergy, no order to the attack. Cerberus were caught completely unawares, and are scrambling to mount a defensive. Atlas's are deployed alongside the panicked ground troops, and both are quickly caught up in a barrage of biotics, drones, and tech attacks. Shepard and her team instinctively flank the enemy, with Garrus, Tali, and Kaidan going left, as Shepard and her team going right.

"I almost feel bad for them." Kaidan says over the comm, deploying a vicious reave attack at an unprotected centurion.

"Almost, Major. But not quite." Shepard responds, smashing through the visor of a ground trooper with a biotically wreathed fist.

"Phantom, top left." EDI states calmly through the fray.

Within half an hour, all Cerberus troops lay dead or dying on the ground around them. An exploded Atlas is still sending flames and smoke into the air, the operator hanging out of the shattered glass of the canopy. EDI works quickly at one of the terminals, searching for information regarding the layout of the base. Shepard's visor remains oddly silent, with no enemy alerts within ten, or even thirty meters.

"Let's get this info a little faster if we could, EDI. I find the fact that there are no reinforcements really fucking strange."

"Yes, Commander."

"Cortez, how you doing over there?"

"Good Commander. The shuttle hasn't exploded yet, so that's a good sign. Although if we could get the explosives out of here sooner rather than later, that would probably be for the best."

"Just hang tight. EDI is pulling up the schematics now, and then we'll off-load those bombs."

After a few moments, EDI informs the group that the schematics are uploaded to their omni-tools. Shepard reviews the base, and breathes a sigh of relief at its simplicity. Corridors and science labs follow a straightforward line, with the back of the base appearing to hold the communications relay as well as a large windowed room. A secondary path presents itself, one that leads to the lower decks of the base. Core information, as well as stabilizing mass effect fields appear to be heavily protected, but still easily accessible through maintenance corridors and crawlspaces.

"Looks like there's no way to escape tight crawlspaces, Tali. At least they won't be heated." Shepard says optimistically. "Ok, so thankfully both paths are easy to get to. Garrus, you three head down towards the bottom of the base. I want you to plant the bombs near the mass effect core. With luck, the explosion will cause the base to make a beeline towards the star. It needs to be timed right though, because we've got to backtrack to this position after we get the data. Doesn't look like there are any other launch bays higher up."

"This is going to be really risky, Shepard." Liara states.

"I know, Li. But we don't have any other options. Who knows what kind of information is hiding in here that we won't be able to access? I don't want Cerberus getting a foothold again, and the best way to ensure that is just to destroy the base of operations." Shepard replies, turning her attention back to Garrus after a moment. "I want you guys to arm the bombs and get your asses back up here to the shuttle. EDI, how long will it take for each team to reach their destination?"

"Barring any serious offensive, it should take Garrus and his fire team approximately twenty minutes. Our path is moderately longer, taking approximately thirty minutes. This is, of course, dependant on opposition."

Shepard looks around at her team. Garrus waits patiently, his eyes coolly reviewing the corridors below. Tali is waiting a little less patiently, moving from one foot to the other as she tries to relax. Looking at Liara proves to be a mistake, and Shepard can sense her thoughts. Liara doesn't believe they will all make it out, a shadow of doubt and apprehension clouding her mind.

"You guys ready?" Shepard asks quietly.

A series of nods follows her question.

"Good. If there is any point where you are unable to set those bombs, or get out quickly, abandon your objective. While I'd like to blow this place to hell, I'm not going to risk anyone's life just to blow up a damn terrorist base. Is that clear?"

"Commander, we can…" Kaidan starts to interject, but Shepard cuts him off.

"Is that clear, Major?"

"Yes Commander."

"Good. Move out."

* * *

o.o.o

The human proto-Reaper filled the space above them, an oppressive reminder of what they are fighting for. Dim lights glowed around it, providing a morbid halo around the monstrosity. Shepard looks at it with disgust, silently wishing that her Cain had done more damage, and had made it more difficult to retrieve even this amount from the Collector base. Scaffolding and terminals surrounded it, clear indications that the Illusive Man had ordered an extensive study be completed on the husk. Shepard finds herself grinding her teeth, convinced that the remains were watching her as they skirted around it. A disorganized attempt to stop them had been launched, with just a few troopers and phantoms interrupting them briefly. With the forces quickly dealt with, it left just Shepard, Liara and EDI to move around the ominous mass.

"I had no idea the Illusive Man was able to recover this much of the Reaper. More importantly, I had no idea this is what you fought in that base, Shepard." Liara says quietly, her soft tones echoing through the space.

"Yeah, it was a tough son of a bitch to take down, that's for sure." Shepard responds.

"Commander, Garrus is reporting that they are at their designated location, and have begun setting up the bombs." EDI advises. "I also detect no other hostiles in our immediate area. It appears as though the rest of our route is deserted."

"Great, thanks EDI. Can you patch me through to Hackett?" Shepard asks as they reach the upper level. The door hisses closed behind them, shutting them out from the presence of the Reaper.

"At once."

The team stops for a moment in the burned out science wing. Massive holes along the corridors denote heavy fire, and bodies litter the ground. Shepard checks her omni-tool while she waits for Hackett, focusing on the icon representing Garrus and his team.

"Shepard, what's your status?" Hackett asks through the comm.

"Second fire team advising they are in position and arming the bombs. They should be withdrawing to the shuttle in the next ten minutes. We are about five minutes out from the main control room where the Prothean data is being held."

"Good. Fifth fleet reporting massive losses on Cerberus' end, with most escape shuttles being shot down. We're buying you time, Commander, but right now it looks like we've got this. Report in once you've got the data. Hackett out."

"Just a little farther to go." Shepard says to herself, and leads Liara and EDI through the rest of the labs. As was previously advised, they encounter no resistance. Shepard doubts there is even anyone left on the base, given the ferocity of the Alliance's attack. Dreadnoughts firing outside, and two expert fire teams on the inside, gave little room for Cerberus to mount a decent offensive. It had become apparent to her when they first split up that the Illusive Man was not here. The chaos surrounding the Cerberus attack, and the lack of consistency had to mean that there was no one here giving any orders. The Illusive Man had jumped ship, leaving his modified and indoctrinated troops to fend for themselves. A persistent nagging in the back of her mind was leading her to believe that he was up to something else, considering he clearly didn't care what happened at this base. His apathy was even more apparent, given the fact that EDI was consistently downloading immense amounts of sensitive Cerberus information from various terminals that had not been wiped. The information was immediately being provided to the Alliance, where other strike teams would be able to swiftly deal with all other Cerberus outposts.

"Shepard, come in."

"Go ahead."

"Bombs have been placed, but we are reading hostiles in our area. We can arm the bombs and deal with the resistance, but I think the remaining forces have finally figured out what we're doing."

Shepard feels a wave of anxiety crash over her at Garrus' words. With no chain of command, and no orders, the indoctrinated troops would act and react mindlessly. Their previous orders of 'destroy the infiltration team' would override self preservation instincts. They would block an escape, and would willingly let the bombs blow them all up if it meant the fire team was stopped.

"Then get the fuck out of there, Garrus. Leave the bombs, and just get back to the shuttle."

"Commander, we can set the timed detonation to take longer, which will give us a chance to complete the objective and still get out of here." Kaidan adds.

"Kaidan, listen to me very closely: abort the mission. Get back to that shuttle. Now." Shepard orders. She can feel her heart racing, the situation hitting too close to home.

"Incoming hostiles, get to cover. Tali, send your drone out for me." Shepard hears Garrus ask before the comm line disconnects. Shepard exhales a shaking breath. Without those bombs armed, her team would get back to the rendezvous point without a problem, and the trio are perceptive enough to ensure that a Cerberus trooper wouldn't remain to arm the bomb themselves and keep the fire team trapped.

"Commander, we need to get to the data." EDI advises.

"Let's move." Shepard responds quietly.

* * *

o.o.o

A pool of blood forms at her feet, the gaping wound in Kai Leng's side oozing at a steady pace. Her omni-blade retracts, and Shepard stares down at the assassin, a trickle of blood flowing from his mouth as his breathing stops. She can feel all the muscles in her body aching, the stress of fighting for hours finally making itself known. Her amp was causing a steady headache at the back of her head, and she has a few wounds that need attention. Shepard looks around at the destroyed room, and catches Liara applying medi-gel to a wound on her arm. Explosions dance around the windows, Alliance fighter jets cleaning up the remaining Cerberus forces, the star providing a backdrop to the final act of Cerberus. Shards of glass are strewn around the room, and Shepard gingerly picks her way through the chaos to get to Liara.

"You ok?" Shepard asks, crouching down beside Liara.

"I'm fine, Shepard. One of those phantoms got a bit too close, and got me with her sword. It's not deep though."

"All right. We need to get back to the shuttle. I have to tell Hackett and Anderson what is going on." Shepard says, a note of despair in her voice. Shepard catches Liara's blue gaze, her eyes holding a similar form of sadness.

"Shepard, there's no way you could have known that the Citadel is the Catalyst. It's not your fault it's been moved."

"I should have been able to figure it out."

"How? No one could. You aren't to blame."

"I know. I'm just pissed off. We wouldn't be in this position if I had just been a bit faster on Thessia."

"It's in the past. All we can do now is work with what's in front of us." Liara says not unkindly as Shepard helps her to her feet.

At the same moment that Shepard takes Liara's hand, a reverberation rocks through the base. A subtle undertone of noise, followed by movement. It takes her seconds to realize what causes the noise, the shift of the base. Shepard's heart leaps into her throat, and her comm lights up.

"Sh… bombs were…. med. Detonation…. Cerberus troops…"

"Garrus, I didn't read that. What's the situation down there?" Shepard asks, trying to piece together the words through the static. Suddenly her mind is overwhelmed, and panic is threatening to close in. If the bombs have gone off, they may not have enough time to make it to the shuttle, especially if they encounter resistance. She signals to EDI and Liara to move out, and they make their way at a run back down through the base.

"Almost at the shut… wait for you here… Hurry, please."

"We're on our way down. Hold on." Shepard says, and the comm goes silent.

* * *

o.o.o

Joker watches the events unfold on the Cerberus base, keeping an eye on the ground team on one monitor, while providing Hackett with pertinent information on another. He sees two things occur simultaneously; detonation of the bombs and a spike in Shepard's heart rate. Chakwas is on the bridge as well, monitoring the life signs and suit telemetry data as it streams in from each of the squad members. He hears the static filled communication from Garrus, and the almost panicked response from Shepard.

"Oh god."

"What? What's happening?" Joker asks in response to Chakwas' whispered words. He scans the monitors in front of him, his eyes landing on the same information Chakwas is processing.

"Garrus to Normandy, we've got a man down. I repeat, man down. We need medical support available immediately upon return."

"Shit." Joker says simply.

"I'm going to prep the medbay. Joker, get us in closer to speed things up."

"Yes ma'am."

Joker hears Chakwas take off at a run towards the elevator, and he moves the ship closer to the base. He switches his monitor to the crew life signs, and sees five lit up brightly, and one flickering, threatening to go out altogether.

"Please. Please don't take anyone else. Don't take him away from her." Joker whispers to the still air around him, the sounds of the crew preparing for conflict dimming behind him. As the Normandy banks inwards towards the launch pad, the monitor beeps an alert as the sixth life sign fades out.


	65. The Show Must Go On: Part 1

A/N: Happy belated N7 day! I decided to post this chapter today instead of yesterday, because yesterday's N7 Day video was sad and had all the feels. I didn't want to add to that :P

Almost there, folks. Thank you to reader Sima0193 for the chapter title suggestion. I think it suits the last two chapters quite well.

Enjoy.

**Edit: I forgot to mention a thing! I hang out with a bunch of other Mass Effect fans over at Aria's Afterlife, a forum in the ME section. Come join and hang out with us! Shenanigans ensue!**

* * *

Liara sits at a table in the mess hall and waits. Marines and support personnel filter through occasionally, most glancing towards the curtained-off medbay, yet all of them remain silent, glancing over at Liara with a forlorn look before leaving again. Liara checks her omni-tool, though the time glaring back at her barely means anything. She's been waiting for over two hours, but she can feel the mind of her lover behind those curtains. It would take something monumental for her to move from her silent vigil.

Tali and Garrus make their way in, and Garrus sits down heavily beside Liara. His mandibles are pressed tight against his cheeks, a sign that he is under a significant amount of stress, as well as pain. He doesn't say anything, and Liara respects his unspoken desire for silence. Tali sits down as well, and places a gentle hand on Garrus' arm. After a while, people stop coming down to the mess hall. The lights dim as the ship enters its night cycle, and a silence permeates the air around them. Liara contemplates the silence, and knows that a ship is never truly quiet. There's always a feel of movement, of purpose, and both beget a certain level of auditory activity. But Liara notices that this quiet is different. It's as though the entire mess hall is blanketed in solemnity, and protected by an unseen barrier. By some unspoken rule, Liara feels like everyone else on the ship is staying away for a reason.

And in that moment, Liara can feel why.

Liara feels Shepard's mind dip and turn to disbelief, while her heart breaks at the same time. She can almost hear the unasked questions; she can form with her own lips Shepard's unspoken 'what if'. She glances over to see Garrus place his head in his hands, and hears Tali whispering something, maybe a prayer. Time stands still around her as Liara is almost able to see the crushing weight of sadness descend on Shepard, and Liara's own eyes fill with tears. Her heart shatters for the one who was so convicted, so sure of himself. Selfless and resilient. Courageous and head strong.

Gone.

The medbay door opens quietly, and Liara watches Shepard appear. Her hands are in her pockets, and she looks around the room like she has never seen it before. Her eyes land on Liara, Garrus, Tali. Liara hears Tali crying softly, and Garrus watches Shepard with a tiredness in his eyes that Liara has never seen before. Shepard walks slowly towards the table that the trio are sitting at, and Liara is able to get a good look at the woman in front of them. There's a smudge of blood on her forearm, and her eyes are ringed with red. Her pale skin looks even paler, and there are dark circles under her eyes. Liara looks deeper this time, locking onto Shepard's brilliant green eyes. Shameless tears are still flowing, and her heart bears the mark of inconsolable loss.

Shepard looks as though she wants to say something, and Liara watches as she tries to command her voice to work. Her first attempt forces her to place her hand over her mouth, catching the words as they try to come out. Tears roll down her cheeks, over her fingers. Liara wipes away her own tears as she watches her lover struggle to speak. Shepard moves her hand, placing it back in her pocket as she fights for composure. Liara nods her encouragement, urging Shepard to complete this one final task before she can start the process of grieving.

Shepard exhales a shaking breath, her eyes never leaving Liara's.

"EDI, can you open the ship wide comm please?"

"Comm is open, Commander."

"All hands, it is with great sadness that I inform you that Major Kaidan Alenko has passed away at 2300 hours. His bravery, compassion, and selflessness will be forever remembered. 'We are one equal temper of heroic hearts, made weak by time and fate, but strong in will. To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.' Shepard out."

* * *

o.o.o

"Commander, we have attempted to locate Major Alenko's next of kin, but we haven't had any luck so far. Considering the state of Earth, this isn't too surprising."

"I understand, sir."

"I'm sorry for your loss, Shepard. I know Alenko has been with you since the beginning."

"Yes sir."

A brief pause, and Admiral Hackett responds to something outside Shepard's field of vision.

"Shepard, we are on approach to the relay, ETA to Sol is three hours. Once the Normandy and the Fifth Fleet are through, it will be clear what our intentions are, and the Reapers won't hold back. We will have half an hour at most while we wait for the remaining forces to filter through that relay."

Shepard wills herself to focus on the strategic plan Hackett is providing her. Her eyes still feel heavy with tears and exhaustion. Kaidan's memorial service was only an hour ago, and Shepard could still hear Liara's sorrowful words echoing in her head. Garrus hadn't even been able to finish his speech, and Shepard had known it was mostly due to the fact that he felt responsible.

 _"_ _Garrus, what the fuck happened down here?" Shepard asked as she runs to the shuttle, EDI and Liara in tow._

 _"_ _Shepard… Spirits, I don't know! He was right beside me as we made our way back out! Why did he…"_

 _Shepard saw the rare panic and confusion in Garrus' eyes as she made it to his side. Kaidan lay in front of him, barely breathing, and a mess of blood and charred armour. Shepard crouches down and begins to strip Kaidan out of the armour that isn't fused to him._

 _"_ _Report. Now." Her command tone does the trick, and Garrus snaps out of his clearly rattled state._

 _"_ _After I got off the comm with you, and you ordered us back to the shuttle, we started pushing back the Cerberus troops. It didn't seem like there were a lot of them. I thought it was manageable. Kaidan noticed that one of them was looping back to try and arm the bombs, and he took off before I could stop him. Tali and I kept pushing forward, and I thought Kaidan was fine. I thought he took that Spirits-forsaken Cerberus trooper down…" Garrus' voice catches in his throat and he stops talking, but the pieces come together for Shepard. Kaidan had gone back to stop the trooper, but hadn't succeeded. Garrus, trusting Kaidan's ability, hadn't checked on him. Doing so would have left Tali alone, or would have given up their advantage. It would have been a tough position for any squad leader to be in. On the other hand, every marine knows the protocol to a blockaded situation. Never split up, never chase down an enemy, never face one down alone unless a loss of the whole squad forces you to. Kaidan knew this, and still had gone back._

 _"_ _Damnit Kaidan." Shepard whispered, frowning when she noticed a piece of shrapnel dug deep into his ribs._

 _"_ _Shepard… I'm sorry. I should have gone back. The trooper must have armed the bomb after knocking Kaidan back. He couldn't get out in time with so many others blocking his path…"_

 _"_ _EDI, is Chakwas ready?" Shepard asked as she placed an oxygen mask on Kaidan's paling face._

 _"_ _Yes, Commander."_

 _"_ _Ok, he's as stable as I can get him. Help me get him into the shuttle."_

"Commander?"

Shepard's eyes focus as she is brought back to the immediate concern in front of her.

"Sorry sir."

Hackett watches Shepard for a moment, folding his hands behind his back. Shepard notices that he almost looks sympathetic.

"Look, I know the last two days have been hell for you. The last six months have been even worse. But we're almost out of the woods, Shepard. If we can do this, we can take Earth back. I need you onboard, or this whole thing will fall apart.

 _Story of my life._

"Yes sir. The Normandy will rendezvous with the Alliance forces in three hours."

"Good. Hackett out."

* * *

o.o.o

 **Sol System, Charon Relay**

Shepard stands in the cockpit in full armour waiting for the fleets to check in. All her diplomacy, all of the tedious hours spent negotiating and fighting someone else's war was about to pay off. She felt the familiar trickle of anticipation creep up her spine, but this time, it was accompanied by a feeling of trepidation. Looking at one of Joker's haptic displays didn't help; thousands of Reaper signatures were lighting up the screen. They didn't have a thresher maw, or a giant death laser. This time, it was just dreadnoughts and fighters against the unfathomable menace of the Reapers. Million year old machines almost daring the organic species to try their best. Memories of Harbinger's words make their way through her mind. Back then, the words seemed like empty threats, the boasting of a race of fully destructible machines. Now, she was watching thousands of the black nightmares bringing their boasting to life.

"Commander, we've got the asari and turian fleets reporting in. Word is that the salarians, quarians and geth are right behind them. Moving closer to the Fifth Fleet to allow them through."

"Roger that, Joker."

"I gotta say, I did not think they'd show up to this shindig. I mean, I know you stuck your neck out for all of them, and they all owe you at least a dozen beers… but they haven't exactly been straightforward this whole time." Joker says as he punches in new coordinates.

"Yeah, well, whether I stuck my neck out for them or not, it's their galaxy their trying to save as much as it's ours. They would've come around eventually."

"Well yeah, but it would have been as the Reapers were herding them like sheep onto a Capital Ship for 'peace talks.'"

"Shepard, salarians and quarians have made it through. We are just waiting for geth ships."

"Got it EDI."

A subtle shift in inertia lets Shepard know that her ship is moving, joining in with the rest of the Alliance fleets. Massive dreadnoughts surround and protect the Crucible as it floats close to the relay. The massive bulk of the weapon dwarfs all of the ships around it, and Shepard watches it as they drift past it. Countless time, energy, and resources went into it, and Shepard frowns at the thought that they didn't even know if it would work.

 _Like kids playing with a loaded gun._

"Commander, I've got Admiral Hackett on the comm."

"Patch him through."

"Shepard, we've got all fleets and all species reporting in. We need to take this offensive to the Reapers now. Are you and your team ready?" Hackett asks, and Shepard feels her stomach flip at the question. She glances down at Joker, who nods his assent.

"Ready as we'll ever be. What's the plan?"

"I want the Normandy leading this assault. Get your ship into position at the head of the armada. On your order, Sword fleet will engage the Reaper forces. It's not a beautiful strategy, but it will get the job done. I don't expect we'll take out many ships, but it will provide the necessary distraction for Hammer to get into Earth's atmosphere and for you and your team to deploy in a shuttle. Anderson is reporting that the Reapers have moved the Citadel above Earth, and the Ward arms are closed. I suspect this means you will face heavy resistance, as the Reapers are clearly moving the Citadel to a position where it can be defended. Your objective once on Earth is to assist the resistance forces until more of Hammer arrives, and then get to Anderson."

"Yes sir."

"Good. I wish you luck Commander, and I look forward to your report when this is all over. May God have mercy on us all."

* * *

o.o.o

 **London, Earth**

Shepard crouched behind a chunk of rubble and checked her shields after a particularly bad hit from a marauder. Her team huddle beside her, and they alternate taking pot shots at the advancing troops. The smoke and ash from long burning fires filled the air with a choking scent, and a constant stream of gunfire drowned out all other noise. Explosions rock the ground beneath them as a Reaper destroyer repeatedly fired shots into the sky, bringing down countless shuttles. The battlefield in front of them proves too dangerous for Shepard's preferred tactic of 'flank and destroy'. She knows that at this point, all it would manage to do is get her entire team killed, as the Reaper troops would simply overwhelm them individually.

"We've been ground side for ten minutes and I've already lost twenty percent of my shields." Shepard remarks with irritation.

"Yeah, Cortez was not lying when he said we'd be coming in hot." James adds, tossing a frag grenade towards a group of cannibals.

"We've gotta get moving. If we stay here much longer, we're going to get flanked." Shepard states. A shower of rock and debris cover them as the frag grenade explodes, and Shepard notes with satisfaction that two less hostiles are now appearing on her sensors.

"So what's the plan, Lola?"

Another explosion from the destroyer shifts the rubble the squad are hiding behind, and Shepard is immediately aware of the fact that if they don't do something now, cover is going to be long gone.

"We need to stay together as much as possible until we can reduce the number of hostiles. There are just too many for us to take in anything less than a frontal assault. James and Garrus, I want you two to just hit them with whatever you have. Take down those marauder shields with overload, and keep up with those grenades. Liara, as soon as the shields are down, draw them into a singularity. The more of the bastards we have floating in the air, the fewer bullets there will be flying at us. Got it?"

Nods of assent are punctuated by replacing thermal clips and readying of grenades.

"Good. Let's move."

Shepard rolls to her left, creating a bit of distance between her and her team. While still well within range of each other, the move allows her to obtain separate cover, as well as forcing the Reaper troops to spread out. James does the same thing on the other side, and the squad form a wall of fire, bullets, and biotics. Cannibals and husks advance, and the faster and smarter marauders stay in the back ranks, bolstering their comrades. The husks prove the most dangerous, as they attempt to mob and surround the team. A pair of husks leap towards Liara, knocking her backwards with the force of their jump. Shepard catches it out of the corner of her eye, and without hesitation, charges into the monsters as they claw at Liara's arms and face. The force of her charge sends them flying, and she finishes them off with a hail of bullets.

As if the move was anticipated, a marauder takes the opportunity to move closer to Shepard's original position, taking up the space that she had just vacated, a trio of husks in tow.

"Shit." Shepard exclaims as she pushes Liara behind her. "Garrus! I need an overload here."

Immediately following the order, the marauders shields drop almost completely, and Shepard drops them further by firing directly at its chest. She deploys a shockwave, forcing the advancing husks backwards, behind the marauder.

"Liara, now!"

A singularity forces the marauders and husks together as they float helplessly fifteen feet in front of her. Shepard smirks, and charges into the middle of the group, causing a massive explosion of biotic energy. The shockwave of the explosion forces outwards, sending pieces of the once whole husks and marauder everywhere, even managing to stun any other troops stupid enough to get close. Back in her original position, she orders her team to take out the husks first. As easy targets, it will prevent any further mobbing.

After an hour of gruelling combat, that included multiple brutes and countless waves of husks, Shepard's visor finally registers that there are no hostiles in their immediate area. The constant boom of the destroyer is ever-present, but thankfully it hadn't turned its gaze downwards.

"How we doing?" Shepard asks as she rejoins her team. Visually, they look fine, all things considered. Liara is sporting a gash over her right eye from a husk, and all of them are covered in a thin coating of dust, ash, and blood.

"Good, I think. I knew it was bad, but Spirits… this is really bad."

"Yeah, now we just need to take out that destroyer. Shouldn't be too hard, right?" James quips.

"Cortez said there should be a Cain around its feet, in one of the downed shuttles. We just need to make it up to the top of that building. Once we take that thing out, the rest of Hammer can come pick us up and take us to our rendezvous point." Shepard advises. Her muscles are already aching, and a headache is quickly forming from the constant use of her implant. Peering up to where the destroyer sat only compounded her exhaustion and frustration. She allowed herself a brief moment to wonder if this could actually be done.

"Shepard? We can do this." Liara says quietly, placing her hand on Shepard's arm. She looks down at the face that has been at her side for years. The earnest and loyal blue eyes shining back at her gives her a sense of peace, and works to instill her confidence back to its rightful place.

"Here's hoping." Shepard replies with a lop sided smile. Jamming a new thermal clip into her assault rifle, she nods to her team, and they make their way to the destroyer.

* * *

o.o.o

For the first time since coming aboard, Traynor finds herself in a position of leadership. Unintentional as it was on her part, the additional crew members on board from Hackett's fleet were reporting to her for orders regarding incoming data packets and combat information. Whether it was a directive from Shepard, or Hackett, Traynor didn't know. But she found herself both pleased and slightly daunted. She had over six additional pairs of eyes on separate terminals, instead of needing to focus on all the information by herself. With the amount of data flooding in from all fleets, it was a huge help. Status updates were being delivered to each requesting officer or admiral without delay or hesitation, and Traynor's fingers flew over her haptic display as though they were made for this.

"Ma'am, Admiral Shepard is requesting a status update on the krogan ground team. The Orizaba is unable to make contact."

Traynor looks over at the ensign standing at her elbow. She immediately feels sorry for the young man, as she can see the look of fear lurking behind his sense of duty. This was clearly the first time he has seen any form of battle, let alone one taking place with such massive and ominous enemies.

"I'll try to make contact with Urdnot Wrex, see if it's possible to get a sitrep. Please advise the Admiral that we will provide her the information as soon as we have it."

"Yes ma'am."

Traynor watches the ensign rush off to his post to relay the information. Traynor scans the CIC, momentarily feeling overwhelmed. It was crowded to the point of being almost chaotic. At her station she had a bit of free space, but further in, and closer to the cockpit, it was a mass of people. Every information terminal had a technical officer seated at it, and lower ranked personnel were ferrying orders or communications to all parts of the Normandy. Traynor realizes that the lower decks of the ship must be almost bare, as most of the crew were in this spot. Even Javik, normally reclusive and condescending, wandered the CIC and provided assistance for the tactical crew. She had even fielded a message from Hackett to Javik, asking for his advice regarding the deployment of troops against an enemy only Javik had fought.

With her medbay in its state of readiness, Doctor Chakwas had come through not long ago, making her way to the cockpit. Joker's territory was sacred ground during combat, with only essential personnel being granted access. With his role requiring constant vigilance, he could rarely manage any serious distractions. He would be directly linked in with Engineer Adams and Tali for crucial information on the Normandy's systems. EDI would be managing the cyberwarfare suites, and without Garrus onboard, would be directly controlling the main guns. Traynor knew that if she went past the airlock doors and into Joker's realm, it would be quiet and controlled.

"Ma'am? You've got an incoming message from Commander Shepard."

Traynor's heart jumps into her throat. She hadn't anticipated hearing from Shepard, with the Commander's communications most likely being routed right to Joker.

"Patch her through please."

A brief moment of static, and then Traynor hears a short laugh on the other end of the comm.

"Ha, you're dreaming, Vakarian. I killed at least ten more than you did."

"Commander?" Traynor asks, momentarily concerned that perhaps Shepard isn't on Earth, and that's she in a sim somewhere, given her nonchalant tone of voice.

"Shit, sorry Traynor. Didn't think I'd get through that fast. Listen, I tried to get through to Joker but his comm lines must be packed. I need my remaining squad down here. We've taken out the destroyer, so the landing should be safe. Anderson needs more personnel at his HQ, and I've got the best of them floating up in space."

"Right, I'll get them on another shuttle. Cortez arrived not long ago, but his shuttle is in a bad way."

"Thank God." Traynor hears the audible sigh of relief in Shepard's voice. It was uncertain for a time if Cortez would make it back, due to the hit the shuttle took on entry to London.

"We've made it to Anderson and we're safe for now. We've got Hammer forces reporting in at regular intervals, so it sounds like most of them made it. I'll spare you the details Traynor, but it's fucking brutal down here. Thank god for Wrex and his ground team. Those krogan are just as bad as the Reapers."

"At least they're on our side, Commander." Traynor replies, an unwitting lump forming in her throat. She knew, at some level, this might be the last time she speaks to her Commander.

"No shit. Let Hackett know that I've got the bulk of the ground forces here, and once my team make it down, we'll be good to go."

"Yes ma'am. Admiral Shepard was also looking for an update on the krogan forces, so I will advise her that they are with you."

"Great, thanks Traynor. Listen, I've gotta go, but I just want you to know that you're the best damn comms specialist I've ever worked with. You've been an incredible asset to this team, and you've come a long way from the timid nerd I met months ago. It's been an honour working with you." Shepard says, and Traynor works to keep her emotions in line. The path ahead of Shepard was perilous and full of opponents hell bent on her destruction. In her lab, she never had to worry about not seeing someone at work the next day. On the Normandy, that has become all too real.

"The honour is all mine, Commander. The Normandy stands ready to pick you up when you've sent the Reapers back to hell."

"Roger that, Traynor."


	66. The Show Must Go On: Part 2

_Why does my life get put on hold? What about me? What about my hopes and dreams? What about my peace? What about my love?_

Shepard feels hot tears run down her cheeks, the salt burning as it traced down the cuts and gashes on her face. She looks down at the remains of her armour. Charred pieces of it cling to her skin, tugging and pulling at the sensitive wounds with every small movement. Blood flows in a steady stream down her right arm, a deep cut on her shoulder having formed as a result of what she assumes was shrapnel. Her HUD is non-existent, and her suit is not administering pain medication.

 _I promised to serve and protect. I promised to be the right hand of the Council. I promised I'll always come back… but what if I don't come back from this?_

She looks around at the destruction. Bodies litter the area, and the air is filled with the unfiltered scent of death. Dark, clinging walls press in on her, and she sees shadows of the dead, unmoving corpses. The urge to flee almost overrides every other sense, the stench and oppression being too much to bear. She feels bile rise into her throat, her vision clouding as a result of extreme medical distress and the noxious scent. She fights the urge to vomit, knowing that it will deplete her of critical energy. Her right hand starts to go numb, and she flexes her fingers, willing the blood to make it to the extremities. She tries to stand up from her kneeling position, and cries out with the physical effort. Her body is shutting down, its reaction to severe stress hindering her from being able to make movements that would be considered detrimental. She begins the process of overriding her natural instincts, recalling her ICT training and pain management sessions. She gasps with the effort to slow her breathing, trying to reduce her body's reaction to its perceived imminent death.

 _Alright._

 _Just one more decision._

 _Just one more lonely walk._

 _Just one more fight._

* * *

o.o.o

 **Six hours earlier, London, Earth**

"What's our status, Anderson?"

"Well, not great Shepard. Most of Hammer made it down, but we still lost a lot to those bastards. Thank God you showed up when you did; I thought that Destroyer was going to make backup a long lost dream."

"You go to war with the army you have." Shepard replies unhelpfully. Since her comm with Traynor, she's become increasingly restless. Waiting for her team to arrive, while worrying that they might get shot down as well, had put her nerves on edge. Once they had landed, she had started to feel moderately better about the situation, yet she still wanted to move and take the fight to the Reapers. Standing in Anderson's HQ, watching numbers and statistics roll in, had only served to make her more impatient.

"I guess you're right Shepard. There's no one else coming down now, so we're all we've got. I've just got to touch base with Hackett… you might want to decide who's coming with you on that final push. I'll run through a debrief once I'm back." Anderson supplied. Shepard can see the exhaustion on his face, though some of it has lifted since she's been here. The arrival of the rest of her team seemed to help. He now had a handful of professionals to call on, instead of the quickly trained reserves he had before. Still, the look in his eyes is one of regret, and she knows how he feels about sending her to do this. Shepard nods in response, and he places his hand on her arm before hurrying to a comm terminal.

Shepard turns to face Liara, who has been by her side since they arrived at HQ. Her armour was dusty and blackened, but she was thankfully unharmed. Shepard looks around, and notices that for at least a moment, it is just the two of them. Looking back at Liara, she sees the determination shining in those blue eyes, yet there is more.

"Li…"

"Cora… listen to me. I am afraid I'm not very good at this, but I need to say these words." Shepard watches as Liara sucks in a ragged breath of air, and she can feel an ache form around her heart. "When you found me all those years ago, trapped in a Prothean stasis field, I never imagined that our paths would intertwine in such a way. I didn't expect to remain with you and the crew of the Normandy, and I certainly didn't expect that I would fall in love with you. And yet, throughout all of this… this chaos and heartbreak and loss, I wouldn't want it to have gone any other way. I love you, Cora Shepard. And while I don't want to think of what my life would be like without yours in it…"

"Liara, don't do that."

"You need to do what you think is best. If that means you don't come back to me, then I will know you fought hard, and you tried your best."

"Liara, I'm coming back. I'm not going to give up that easily. If these bastards think they can kill me, they've got another thing coming."

Shepard watches a small smile creep along Liara's lips at her show of bravado. While she wants it to be true, she has a fairly good idea of what they're up against.

"I know. Just… be careful. And know that whatever happens, I will always love you."

"I love you too."

There's a pause between them, something unspoken hanging in the air. The sound of Wrex with his troops filters up through the demolished buildings, and the air smells faintly of rain. Shepard watches Liara's face, trying to memorize every detail of the one she loves. She takes off one of her gloves, and places her warm hand against the cool skin of Liara's cheek. Liara closes her eyes and leans into the contact, and Shepard's urge to take her lovers hand and lead her from this place is almost overwhelming. So much death and chaos surrounds them, and the thought of Liara going back into it is weighing her down. It's not a simple retrieval mission, or digging for information. It's a full assault against waves of enemies determined to stop them.

Shepard takes a step forward, her forehead making contact with Liara's. She breathes out heavily, trying to make the decision logically. She can feel Liara touching the fringes of her mind, but Shepard hesitates. To see inside now, would be to see the deep-seated fear she is withholding from the world. The loss and regret, the shadow of bitterness, and the need to see Liara safe, even if it meant keeping her here while she pushes on.

"Can I show you something?" Liara asks in a whisper, breaking into Shepard's thoughts.

"Yeah."

"Embrace eternity."

* * *

o.o.o

"Alright, we've got the ground team reporting in. Hackett is requesting air support in the event that the forces on the ground become overwhelmed. You got a visual on Shepard?"

"Enough of one. There's a lot of interference, Joker. Most likely from the Reapers farther along the way." Traynor supplies. Joker frowns at her response, and moves the ship closer to the destroyed city. With all ground forces at their designated location, the Normandy was switched from mobile command centre, to her true purpose of war machine. Incoming messages slowed, and unnecessary communications came to a halt, to ensure that the frigate was flying as quiet as possible. In order to provide accurate air support, it means Joker has to get the ship within firing range of hostiles, and while the stealth systems are active, the Reapers never adhered to any form of reliable tactics anyways.

"I guess that's all we can do. Our board is green, and we are running silent. Adams, report in?"

"All good down here, Joker. Systems are holding strong with no issues."

"EDI?"

"Stealth systems active and holding. I recommend a passive position to increase the amount of time we have in stealth. Reaper IFF is transmitting, which will allow us to remain undetected, barring any hostile visual contact. Scanning systems at 100% and active."

"Thanks EDI. How you doing down there?"

"Commander Shepard and her team have left the main HQ, and are making their way towards a secondary FOB. Resistance is heavy."

"Thanks, but that's not what I asked, EDI. How are you doing down there?" Joker asks again, switching the comm from ship-wide to personal range.

Joker waits for a moment while EDI is clearly contemplating a response. The delay is organic, suggesting to Joker that EDI is working to formulate what her actual feelings are, instead of what the current situation is.

"I am… Content."

"That huge pause, and that's all you're giving me?" Joker asks with a small laugh.

"It is interesting being down here in my physical form. When I first obtained it, crew members shied away from me, for fear that I would harm them. Now, I am a respected member of the Normandy's crew, even though I am essentially the ship itself. At first, I was perplexed by this. But then I realized that I am no longer just a ship in human form… I am my own entity. I am viewed as separate, and treated as equal. Thus… I am content."

Joker smiles to himself. Analytical and logical though it was, the tone of voice EDI was taking denoted that she truly has feelings about her current situation. The thought processes of an AI, brought down to human levels of emotions.

"Jeff?"

"Yeah EDI?"

"Thank you for giving me this life. If it weren't for you, I would still be shackled and confined to the ship. Now, I am part of something so much bigger."

"Technically, it's thanks to the Collectors… but you're welcome. I couldn't imagine you being any other way. Now… maybe let's focus on the big bad space squids? Things are getting a little too soft here for me. For now, anyways."

"Yes Jeff." EDI replies, and Joker swears he hears a smile in her voice.

* * *

o.o.o

Shepard leans out of cover, firing a clip of incendiary ammo into a nearby marauder. Rain poured from the sky, forming cold rivers down her face and neck. It obstructed her view, and silenced the enemy. Mud was starting to form at their feet, months of burning wood and embers turning into a sticky paste that hampered movement. Her team was huddled along the same stretch of cover across from her, leaning out to shoot when they were able.

"We need to move. James, on my order, get a grenade ahead of us to clear them out. I want to take their position." Shepard orders, having to yell over the din of the rain and gunfire. A group of marauders and cannibals were occupying what used to be an electronics shop. With the windows blown out, the troops were leaning out periodically to throw grenades at the entrenched ground team. With the weather doing the opposite of helping, Shepard wanted that position in order to get a clear idea of the next stretch of ground, and to be able to dry off for a minute.

"Liara, once that grenade detonates, send a stasis field in there on whoever is left. I'm going to charge in. And Garrus?"

"Yes Shepard?"

"My kill count is already higher than yours. Better pick up the pace." Shepard adds with a grin.

Garrus barks a laugh at the statement, and Shepard orders the grenade to be thrown. Seconds later, an explosion sounds through the area ahead of them. Liara leans out to deploy her stasis field, and Shepard waits. When Liara hesitates, Shepard moves to see why. Liara is waiting for exactly the right moment to snag a cannibal. With its comrades dead around it, a few of the grotesque monsters flock towards the corpses of the fallen. Shepard smiles, and when enough of them are close together, the stasis field catches them, and Shepard charges in.

The second explosion causes rubble and debris to fall, but Shepard is unfazed. Charging into the frozen cannibal, she kills it on impact, sending the other three flying backwards. Before they have a chance to pick up their weapons again, they are filled with burning bullets, or sent flying with a pull field. Standing in the crater left by the grenade, Shepard scans the area, and registers that there aren't any more hostiles in their immediate area. Her team join her in the shelter of the destroyed shop.

"Up by four in just twenty seconds. C'mon Garrus." Shepard says, smiling as she catches her breath.

"It's tough to compete against a literal walking bomb, Shepard. Maybe if you weren't so greedy, you'd leave some for the rest of us, huh?"

"Sorry Garrus. I've never been too good at sharing." Shepard says, patting him apologetically on his shoulder. "Alright, we can't stay here long. EDI, how far to our next objective?"

"The secondary FOB is half a kilometre south of your position. I will mark it on your omni-tool. Commander, be advised that there are only a handful of troops left at the FOB, and it appears as though Reaper troops are closing fast. By the time you get there, it may be overrun."

"Shit. And they're holding the only position before that damn beam? Why weren't they more fortified?"

"Commander, they have been holding that position for weeks, with no backup." EDI replies gently, and Shepard is quickly reminded of the fact that she hasn't been fighting a ground war for months. The troops on the ground have been dealing with this war in a way that she hasn't been.

"Yeah, of course they have been. Alright, then we better get there and support the ones who are left. Let's move."

Shepard and her team push forward through the most intense fighting Shepard has seen in years. The Reapers have had months to dig into this area, and it wasn't just husks and marauders they were encountering. Brutes, banshees, and all manner of overwhelming ground troops descend on them as they fight their way towards the FOB. A harvester joins the fray at one point, perching itself high on top of a demolished building, firing down at them. It forces Shepard and her squad to take cover under a low overhang, while three brutes close in on their position. James takes cover in the nick of time, as the ground around him explodes with the force of the harvester's armaments. Rocks pelt the team as they slide into the mud, and for a split second, Shepard is nervous. They can't get out of cover without losing their heads, and if they stay where they are, the brutes will close in on them. She checks her omni-tool, and swears under her breath once she sees how close they are to their objective. However, if they are facing this kind of resistance, Shepard doubts there is anyone left at the FOB. She sighs, and resolves herself to killing as many of the brutes as possible before the harvester gets her.

"Don't worry Commander. We got this." Shepard hears Joker say over the comm. She hears it then, the deep rumble of the Normandy's engines as she descends towards the harvester. Screaming in, lightning fast, the squad hears two missiles fire from the Normandy, followed by a screeching noise from the harvester.

"Two direct hits. I repeat, two direct hits. Take that, you worm necked son of a bitch." Joker says through the comm. "Good thing my baby is so well calibrated. Thanks Garrus!"

Shepard looks over and sees her team collectively sigh with relief. The harvester is still alive, but retreating. With the Normandy on it, it won't last much longer.

"Thanks Joker."

"No problem Commander. We're going to put this thing out of its misery, and then return to higher altitude. Good hunting."

"Damn good tactic. Holy hell, I thought we were done for." James says as he loads a new thermal clip.

"Yeah, and here I thought it would be a walk in the park. Only three brutes, and God knows what else at that FOB. Let's take them down, shall we?" Shepard says as she primes her charge. Nods precede gunfire and blue explosions, as the team fight their way forward.

* * *

o.o.o

The FOB was gone. Alliance troops lay scattered around, either dead or dying. Just getting to the location was almost a death sentence. Brutes and banshees blocked every advance that Shepard and her team tried to make. When they finally did manage to get a foothold, it was only to find out that a Destroyer had taken up residence sometime in the last few hours, and was systematically destroying everything that moved. Whole city blocks have been levelled, a vast expanse of rubble and pavement now lay between the Destroyer and the beam. Shepard and her team take cover where marines had been just moments ago.

"So, that's new." Garrus remarks glibly, taking in the Destroyer in front of them.

"Well, shit." Shepard replies. She is exhausted, and is working hard to keep some of her energy in reserve. Her arms ache, she has a fierce headache, and multiple internal and external wounds. Administering pain medication helps, and her suit works to get her to a point where she is not bordering on critical condition. Scans of her team show similar distresses; James appears to have a cracked rib from a direct hit by a brute. Garrus and Liara both have sprained ligaments, and up until thirty seconds ago, Garrus had a dislocated shoulder. They were worn out and bruised, but at least one of them had to keep going.

"Anderson said he'd meet us here, but he's not going to get close with that Destroyer in the way. Thoughts?" Shepard asks.

"Do we happen to have a spare Cain?" James asks sarcastically, his face paling with the pain.

"Not that I know of. EDI, got any ideas?"

"The Normandy would be able to assist, as we did on Rannoch. Garrus and the engineering team installed the laser guidance system onto the ship, and it is fully functional and ready to use. The obvious con of this plan is that the Normandy would then be in range, as we would need to hit the Destroyer when its oculus is visible."

"What are the chances of success on this? With the Normandy being able to make it out in one piece."

"Calculating." EDI advises, and there is a short pause. "Chance of success is 68.4%, factoring in current levels of damage, and our dual armour system."

"Joker? How do you feel about those odds?" Shepard asks, and the team waits silently.

"Go big or go home, right Commander? We can do this." Joker replies after a moment. "Kinetic barriers holding strong at 90%, and our Silaris armour will be a big help. We'll use the Thanix cannon against that bastard, and he'll be done in two shots."

"Alright. Make it happen Joker."

"Aye aye, Commander."

* * *

o.o.o

Shepard stood at the precipice of a barren wasteland, visually scanning the area for hostiles. Sovereign has landed, and was wreaking havoc on the ground before them. Shepard noticed the act of desperation, the clear sign that even though the last five hours had been nearly the worst of her life, they were having an impact. Hackett was reporting that Capital ships were closing around the Citadel en masse in order to protect it, but even then they were withdrawing from the fight. By pulling back to the Citadel, it brought them out of range of the Alliance dreadnoughts. Geth infiltration units were landing on top of air-born Destroyers, rendering them immobile with vicious cyberwarfare counter attacks. Quarian ships followed closely, bombarding the Destroyers with high powered cannons. The Capital ships were proving more resilient, and the tactic had yet to work on them. But the gathered forces of all of the galaxy's ships were making progress, albeit slowly.

The Normandy had succeeded in taking down the Destroyer behind them, and it lay in a massive heap of melted metal, its spider-like legs splayed outwards, providing cover for Alliance marines in a cruel twist of irony. Rain still pelted down from a sky that was attempting to heal the ground below, extinguishing flames by creating giant swathes of mud. Corpses of both sides lay everywhere, but even now, the remaining Alliance forces pushed forward towards the edge of no-mans land, awaiting orders. Anderson stood beside Shepard as they surveyed the land ahead of them, contemplating the next move.

"Looks like this is it. Air support isn't going to help. Whatever we do, we need to get to that beam. It's the only way to make into the Citadel." Anderson says as he wipes rain water off his weapon.

"And then what? Do we even know what we're looking for?" Shepard asks.

"We open the arms. That's all we can do now. I don't know what resistance is like inside the Citadel, but we get in, get to the Control panel that you used all those years ago, and we open the arms. Once we do that, our objective is complete."

"What if the beam is a decoy? It could just send us out into space. That's not a fun place to be when you're in nothing but armour." Shepard adds, doubt clouding logic.

"It might be, but honestly Shepard, I think that's the ticket in. Before Hammer landed, scouts reported seeing Reaper troops bringing bodies of downed soldiers to the beam. I suspect they're wanting to resume what you destroyed at that Collector base. It's a hell of a risk, but not doing it would be worse."

Shepard looks back towards the convoy of marines at her back. James was relieved, and sat near a medical transport, an Alliance doctor guiding him towards a stretcher. Liara and Garrus were in conversation about something, and it looked particularly intense. The rest of the marines stood ready, checking their weapons and armour. Some of them have been doing this since day one, though most of them are recently landed. Well rested and uninjured, they would undoubtedly be sacrificing themselves in the final push to the beam. She catches Liara's eye then, and she sees that Liara is fighting back tears. Shepard frowns, and instinct tells her to find out why, but Anderson pulls her back to the issue at hand.

"So we run."

"Run, sir?"

"Run, Commander. We run as fast as we can, and Sovereign won't be able to target us easily. Then we get as many people as we can into that beam."

"Works for me." Shepard says with a shrug. Looking back at Liara, she motions them to her. Explaining the plan to Garrus and Liara, Shepard realizes how ridiculous it sounds. No shooting, no fighting, just running. Shepard has the benefit of being able to target individual enemies, charging from one to the other, but that would put her at the beam before the rest of the team. From her visual scan, it also appears as though there are almost no enemies ahead of them, the major defensive being provided by Sovereigns main gun. They would have about five minutes of sprinting before Sovereign realizes what they're doing, and begins unleashing hell on them. It was extremely risky, but Shepard knows from experience that as long as they stay out of the direct path of the beam, they should be relatively safe.

"Ready when you are, Shepard." Garrus says, and Liara nods as well. Shepard contemplates having them stay back; one person needs to get through that beam, and as long as it's her, she doesn't see the need of risking her team. However, Anderson is right. They don't know what's inside the Citadel, and a wave of husks and cannibals would easily overwhelm her at this point.

"With all due respect Commander, staying behind is not going to happen." Liara says quietly, answering Shepard's thoughts. Shepard quirks a smile, and turns back to face the beam.

Shepard nods at Anderson, signalling that she and her team are ready to move.

"Marines! Our objective: get Commander Shepard and her team to that beam. The more of us that make it through, the better, but Commander Shepard is our priority. Our plan is to run like hell. Any questions?" Anderson asks, yelling at the group of gathered marines.

"No sir!" comes the reply, dozens of voices in unison.

"Then let's get it done. Marines, move out!"

* * *

o.o.o

"Garrus, help her onto the ship." Shepard orders, handing a severely injured Liara over to Garrus' supportive hands.

"Cora, no. I am not going."

"Make sure she gets to Chakwas immediately." Shepard says directly to Garrus, not daring to look Liara in the eye. Garrus nods, gently pulling Liara onto the hangar bay ramp. Cortez and a few other marines stood in the back, Avengers in hand. Shepard feels Liara's hand cling onto her forearm, and Shepard is forced to look. What she sees in Liara's eyes almost breaks her. Tears are streaming down Liara's face, desperation and panic are radiating off her. A sense of urgency fills her mind, and Shepard knows that one shot from Sovereign would take down her ship, and everyone she loves. She places a hand on Liara's cheek, and Liara almost falls to her knees.

"I love you. Forever and ever, I will love you. I made a promise to you, and I intend to keep it." Shepard says, and she moves back a step. Liara shakes her head furiously, but is unable to speak. Shepard sees Chakwas coming to stand beside Cortez, a retinue of medical staff in tow.

"Shepard…"

"Garrus, you have an order. I'll see you when this is all over."

Shepard steps off the ramp, and watches Garrus as he pulls Liara further into the ship. She catches one last glance at Liara, and the ramp closes, the Normandy lifting off to safety.

* * *

o.o.o

Hot, stale air hits her face as she regains consciousness. Darkness surrounds her, and a muffled silence fills the air. She tries to move, but her arms won't cooperate. A pain unlike any other lashes down her body, and she lies still, trying to recall what happened. The look of complete loss in Liara's eyes was pushed back as she ran, ran like hell towards her objective. She couldn't see anyone else around her. There was no one else running with her.

 _Are they all dead? God, is Anderson…_

A blast as bright as a sun had stopped her mid-sprint, and the heat that crashes against her knocked her back. She came to minutes later to see Sovereign moving away, suspecting his target was eliminated. The rest is a hazy recollection of pain and sorrow. The beam had been achingly close, and she was the only one left. She had felt her heart breaking for Liara, and to a certain degree, herself. It was becoming clear to her that she wasn't going to make it.

Shepard feels hot tears run down her cheeks, the salt burning as it traced down the cuts and gashes on her face. She looks down at the remains of her armour. Charred pieces of it cling to her skin, tugging and pulling at the sensitive wounds with every small movement. Blood flows in a steady stream down her right arm, a deep cut on her shoulder having formed as a result of what she assumes was shrapnel. Her HUD is non-existent, and her suit is not administering pain medication.

 _I promised to serve and protect. I promised to be the right hand of the Council. I promised I'll always come back… but what if I don't come back from this?_

She looks around at the destruction. Bodies litter the area, and the air is filled with the unfiltered scent of death. Dark, clinging walls press in on her, and she sees shadows of the dead, unmoving corpses. The urge to flee almost overrides every other sense, the stench and oppression being too much to bear. She feels bile rise into her throat, her vision clouding as a result of extreme medical distress and the noxious scent. She fights the urge to vomit, knowing that it will deplete her of critical energy. Her right hand starts to go numb, and she flexes her fingers, willing the blood to make it to the extremities. She tries to stand up from her kneeling position, and cries out with the physical effort. Her body is shutting down, its reaction to severe stress hindering her from being able to make movements that would be considered detrimental. She begins the process of overriding her natural instincts, recalling her ICT training and pain management sessions. She gasps with the effort to slow her breathing, trying to reduce her body's reaction to its perceived imminent death.

 _If I can just stand up, I can finish this. Come on, Shep._

It takes a frustratingly long time, but she manages to get to her feet. Her head spins from lack of blood, and she grips a gun that isn't hers as though it's a life line. As her eyes adjust, the darkness lightens, and she sees emergency lights along the path ahead of her. The space is unfamiliar, and unlike any part of the Citadel that she's been to. She slowly makes her way along the path, passing a keeper that looks at her curiously. Raising her gun in the event it tries anything funny just produces more agony. Thankfully, the keeper goes about its business, pulling a dead civilian towards a pile of bodies. Shepard shuffles further along the corridor, making her way towards the unknown.

* * *

o.o.o

"What's her status?"

"She's badly injured, but Chakwas says she'll physically be fine. She's sedated now."

"Shit Garrus. This is bad. No one's heard from Shepard, and we have no idea if she even made it into the Citadel after that last blast from Sovereign." Joker says, running another scan on the ground below. After picking up a distraught Liara and stoic Garrus, a few shuttles requested docking with the remainder of Shepard's team. Anderson's HQ was quickly overrun once the Alliance forces had left, and the Normandy crew had barely made it out. Most of them were now down in the hangar bay, tending wounded marines that had managed to get on board as well. Wrex had been offered a lift, but had told Joker that no amount of ground forces were going to stop a krogan. He hadn't been heard from since. Javik also refused to board the ship, and had instead joined Wrex and the rest of the krogan. One by one, communications stopped, and people were no longer reporting in. The situation in London was dire, and now to top it all off, Shepard was MIA.

"She made it Joker. I'm sure of it. You didn't see the look in her eyes before we lifted off. Hell itself isn't going to stop her."

"Well, if she's on the Citadel, that's exactly where she is. Scans of the station report no hostile life signs, however EDI noted millions of dead."

"So there are life signs though?" Garrus asks hopefully.

"EDI thinks they're keeper signs. None of them are pinging back as Shepard."

Joker watches the scans come back empty, which is both good and bad. No life signs on the ground by the beam, means there are also no Reapers by it. It's been twenty minutes since Liara and Garrus came on board, and it's been twenty minutes of radio silence.

"Normandy, come in."

"Go ahead Admiral."

"We've just received word that someone made it onto the Citadel. Marines ground-side that managed to make it back reported seeing someone make it through."

Joker's heart lurches at the news, and he barely manages to control his excitement. Even Hackett sounds like he is hopeful, for the first time in months.

"I want you to bring the Normandy back up here. We will need an evac team standing by. If you aren't reading any life signs, Shepard's suit might be severely damaged. If that's the case, she isn't getting any medical support right now."

"Yes sir. Setting course to rendezvous with the fifth fleet." Joker replies as he fully powers up the engines.

"Good, we'll see you soon. Hackett out."

Joker looks up at Garrus, who hasn't left the cockpit since dropping Liara off. He looks exhausted beyond words, and he appears to need medical attention himself. But Joker isn't about to tell Shepard's right hand to leave the centre of information.

"EDI, can you relay to Doctor Chakwas Hackett's orders about the evac team please? Not sure if our good Doctor is up for a field run, but she'll be the best one to retrieve Shepard. And bring Cortez up to speed. He'll want to be the one to get her."

"Yes, Jeff."

"You know, I am right here. I can give the orders again." Garrus says with mock affront.

"If you want the reins back, they're all yours."

"Nah, you can keep them. I'll just wait here and contradict anything that sounds ridiculous."

"Great, that's so awesome of you. Thanks, Garrus." Joker replies sarcastically. A seed of hope has been planted, in an otherwise hopeless situation. He went from thinking Shepard is dead, to knowing she's alive and on the Citadel. If she could only open the arms, they'd be able to dock the Crucible, Shepard could come home, and they'll all be done with the chaos of the Reapers.

* * *

o.o.o

"Commander, do you read me? The Crucible is docked, but nothing is happening. Commander!"

The distant voice of Hackett rings in her ears. Anderson lay dead beside her, the indoctrinated Jack Harper behind her. Her shoulder is numb, blood still trickling down her arm. The brilliant blue of her species' home planet is shining bright in front of her, while hundreds of ships danced around the Reapers outside the wide windows of the once beautiful Council chambers. Exhausted was an understatement, and Shepard found herself not caring what happened.

 _It's not my problem if it won't fire. I've done what you asked of me. I have nothing left to give you._

Shepard closes her eyes, allowing sleep to finally take hold. She can see Liara in her minds eye, and knows with relief that she is safe. Everyone she knows and loves is safe. Shepard closes her eyes, and drifts away.

* * *

o.o.o

 _Why?_ _Why do I have to choose?_ _Why am I the one standing here, making this decision?_

 _There are a million other people in this galaxy more qualified than I am._ _Diplomats. Ambassadors. Generals. Councillors._ _Why is every soul relying on me?_

 _God... It feels like years since I just sat down._

 _Why did you place all bets on me? Why have you left me now, when I need you the most?_

 _Go out there and give them hell. You were born to do this._

 _I wasn't born into greatness. I wasn't born to have death follow me around, casting its darkness on everyone I ever loved._

 _Do we deserve death?_

 _God..._

 _Would have liked to run tests on the seashells._

 _I'm sorry._

 _You know it's the right choice LT._

 _There was no 'right choice'._

 _Siha..._

 _I should have helped you. Why did I just stand and watch?_

 _My decisions cause death. So why am I making this one?_

 _It would be easy for a single ship to get lost up there, wouldn't it?_

 _Liara._

 _All those little blue children will be disappointed I didn't have a speech._

 _All those little blue children... aren't even possible now. Are they?_

 _Why does my life get put on hold? What about me? What about my hopes and dreams? What about my peace?_

 _What about my love?_

"And if I don't choose?"

 **"** **Then everyone and everything you've ever known will fall to the Harvest, the Reapers will return to dark space, and will continue to return until they find what they seek."** The Catalyst replies.

Shepard almost laughs at the situation she is in. Of all the things for her to decide, she has now to make a choice between life and death of trillions. All the fighting and diplomacy to bring the geth and quarians together, and one option would wipe out the geth entirely. She would kill EDI, subsequently reducing Joker to a heartbroken mess. And as the Intelligence pointed out, she herself is partly synthetic. She would run the risk of killing herself. Synthesizing all living beings would mean changing everyone and everything, and it makes Shepard feel uneasy, making a choice like that for someone else. And controlling the Reapers? She was tempted. The Reapers would help rebuild, at her direction. She would create a galaxy free of war and suffering. But was it worth it, to be indoctrinated? Would she know herself from the Reapers?

 **"** **The choice is yours."**

 _Of course it is._

* * *

o.o.o

"All ships, this is Admiral Hackett. The Crucible is armed. I repeat, the Crucible is armed. All ships retreat to your designated rendezvous point. Normandy, stand by."

Joker holds his breath for a moment, watching from the Normandy's viewport as thousands of ships turn tail towards the relay. He watches as the heart of the Crucible builds up an intense amount of energy. EDI informs him that the energy already present is enough to decimate a Capital ship, and it's still building.

"Adams, report."

"The energy being produced by the Crucible will kill us, Joker. Sorry to be so blunt, but it's the truth. Our shielding and core systems won't stand a chance."

"Shit. EDI, anything from Shepard?"

"No communications are coming from the Citadel."

"And how much time to we need to get away from whatever that thing is doing?"

"At top speed, we need to leave for the relay in approximately 120 seconds. If we do not, we will lose the Normandy."

Joker taps his chair anxiously. They have two minutes to hear from Shepard, find her location, retrieve her, and get out.

"EDI, this isn't going to happen, is it."

"Jeff, probability of retrieving Shepard in time and leaving the Sol system is 1.78%."

Joker looks over at Garrus, who is still in his armour, occupying the co-pilot chair. Tali, Chakwas, and Traynor are in the cockpit as well, and the rest of the ship is silent. All non-critical systems are down, with power being routed to the engines and kinetic barriers. The only thing active is the communication line.

And it's silent.

"Jeff, we have 50 seconds until we need to leave." EDI advises quietly.

"Normandy, Hackett here. We are at the relay, all ships through. It is with a heavy heart that I give you this order, but I am ordering the Normandy to retreat to the relay, and proceed to your designated rendezvous site."

"Admiral, we can get her."

"Flight Lieutenant, that's an order." Hackett replies, and the comm line goes silent once more.

"Joker, we need to go." Traynor says, her voice catching in her throat. Joker clenches his jaw, and can feel his bones threatening to crack under the pressure. Tears form in his eyes, and he shakes his head no.

"I'm not leaving her again. I can't leave her behind."

Silence fills the cockpit, with no one knowing what to say. Garrus looks out the window, clearly leaving the reins in Joker's hands. Joker waits for Chakwas' contradiction, as she is the only high ranking Alliance officer on board.

"Flight Lieutenant, I am taking command of the ship. Take us to the relay." Chakwas orders quietly. Joker waits a moment, and then without caring about the tears falling, punches in the relay's coordinates. The ship banks hard to the left, the engines ramping up to full burn. The Normandy moves towards the relay, leaving her commander behind in a bright orange glow.

* * *

A/N: Well folks, this is it. Six months, almost 161,000 raw words, 65 chapters, and 28,000 views. Thank you so much, from the bottom of my heart, for reading, following, and reviewing this story. When I first set out with this, I didn't anticipate it turning into what it has. Cora has become almost a part of me, an alter-ego who says and does things I would never dream of. She's brave and damaged and head strong, and I think that's what makes her relatable to me in a certain sense. She became a human to me, that the in-game Shepard couldn't really become.

Over the course of this six month venture, I've connected with people - and even become friends with some in different countries - who all have the same love for this game as I do. I am honoured that you all shared this with me, and I can't wait for you to see what comes next.

-Ka'Dira.


	67. Epilogue

_Silence._

 _For the first time in months, I can't hear anything. I've always read that when you die, you see this bright light that you feel compelled to walk towards. They – whoever 'they' are – never said anything about it being orange._

 _But I did it. I made the decision. And though I won't see her again, she is safe, and she knows I love her. I can rest now, and the galaxy can rebuild. They won't ever have to worry about the Reapers again._

 _I won't have to worry about the Reapers again._

 _Cities will be made beautiful once more, and thrive under the guidance of leaders who have stood through the worst thing they have ever faced. Beautiful and resilient Tali will be the leader of her people, and will carry the memory of the geth for future generations. Wrex will sire half of Tuchanka, and Eve will be the words of wisdom._

 _My people will move on, they will grow, they will rebuild. They will work and live and love, having children of their own in this new, safe galaxy that has been created. We've lost so many, but so many yet remain, and it will be glorious. Children will see a sunrise free from sorrow. Humanity will rise up and take back our world. The dead will be honoured, and the living will flourish._

 _But... I won't see any of it. I will be a fading memory of those who love me, a martyred hero to those who don't.  
_

 _Is that what I want? I won't see Liara again. Or Garrus. Or Miranda._

 _No. I don't want this._

 _Let me wake up. Please, let me wake up._


End file.
